Did you hear about the lawsuit screenwriter Derek Connolly filed against a woman he met on Tinder? In the suit, Connolly, the writer of Jurassic World and Star Wars Episode IX claims that the woman stalked him and sent him threatening messages. The crazy part is, the threats were made by referencing an episode of the HBO series Entourage. We know we all get inspiration from art, but we don’t know if looking at Vince and his crew for said inspiration is the best move. We would think The Sopranos would work better, but what do we know?
Or you may remember that time a woman sued McDonalds when their coffee burned her. Did you know she won? The coffee was hot enough to cause 3rd degree burns in less than seven seconds! That’ll wake you up in the morning, huh?
While Connolly’s lawsuit certainly has a weird edge to it, and that woman’s has become the poster child of strange lawsuits, they’re far from the craziest ones out there. From ghosts to living deities, to pants, people across the world have sued over the oddest things possible and because we love you so much, we did a little research and came up with fifteen of the oddest lawsuits for you to scratch your head over. Take a look, and try to make sure that whatever you do in your life, you don’t end up on a list like this!
15. The Extra Roommate
When Josue Chinchilla and his fiancé Michele Callan moved into a new place with Michele’s two children, the landlord was sure to show the nice bits and bobs of the three bedroom ranch house, but he seemed to leave one thing out; the ghosts.
Before Josue and Michele could finish unpacking, the restless spirits made their presence known. Blankets slid off of beds, lights turned on and off by themselves and, worst of all, the family recorded a voice saying “Let it burn”.
Taking a cue from the classic film Poltergeist, the family quickly left their new home and found a nearby hotel to start looking for a new rental. When the landlord wouldn’t give Josue the deposit back, Josue sued for the $2,250. The landlord countersued, claiming that Josue and Michele for breaking the lease on the New Jersey home.
The case was settled in the only place a case about a haunted house could be settled – on The People’s Court where daytime TV judge Marilyn Milian ruled in favor of the landlord. If the ghosts had bothered to show up for the taping, maybe things could have gone in a different direction, but we all know how camera shy ghosts are.
14. Fire In The Hole
In a scene right out of a not very good comedy you may run across on cable at three in the morning, a misfire with a bottle rocket led to one man burning his butt and another man falling off a deck at a frat house.
According to the lawsuit filed by Louis Helmburg III, on May 1, 2011, he was at the Alpha Tau Omega in Huntington, West Virginia when Travis Hughes, who was drunk enough to think this was a good idea, placed a bottle rocket between his poop pinchers and lit it. Apparently Hughes has a stronger grip than he realized because the bottle rocket didn’t fly away – instead it clung to his bum and exploded, which had to be a real pain in the ass.
The explosion so startled Helmburg that he stumbled back and slipped off the deck, falling four feet and getting stuck between the deck and an air conditioner unit.
According to Helmburg, the asinine actions of Hughes damaged his standing with the Marshall University baseball team. Helmburg’s suit claimed that the fraternity should be held responsible for the actions of its member, who was under the legal drinking age at the time of the incident.
Sadly, the case was settled out of court, so we have no idea how much cash the frat had to pull out of its butt to appease Louis Helmburg III, who, despite what his name may make you think, does not hate Lane Meyer.
13. Today The World, Tomorrow The Universe!
Sylvio Langevin wasn’t into collecting baseball cards or comic books. Ceramic angels were just too common for him, and coins were so easy to come by. No, Sylvio needed something that no one else had, something no one would dare collect – the universe.
In 2012, Langevin filed his out of this world motion in Quebec demanding that sole ownership of Earth be handed over to him. He filed a second suit where he claimed ownership over Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, Saturn and Uranus, as well as the four large moons of Jupiter. You may have noticed a couple of missing planets – Langevin would later amend the second suit to include Neptune and Pluto.
Shockingly, the Canadian court had little patience for Langevin, and Justice Alain Michaud of Quebec’s Superior Court barred the man from filing any more lawsuits without written permission from a judge.
12. The Most Litigious Man In History
We could do a whole list just on Jonathan Lee Riches, who has filed over 2600 lawsuits in the last 11 years. In 2009, Riches sued the Guinness Book of World Records to stop them from listing him as “The Most Litigious Individual in History”. The suit was thrown out of court when Guinness brought up the fact that they have never, and had no plans to ever list Riches in their famous annually updated book.
Most famously, Riches filed a suit against Kanye West and Kim Kardashian claiming that on June 17, 2012 he ran into the famous couple in West Virginia at a secret Al-Qaeda training camp. Riches’ claim went on to describe Kanye and Kim pledging their allegiance to the terrorist organization, burning an American flag, and stomping on a photo of Barack Obama before Kanye put on a concert for all the trainees at the secret camp.
11. You Can’t Even Trust Your Captives These Days
Jessie Dimmick isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. His story began in 2009 with the murder of Michael Curtis, who Dimmick beat to death in a hotel room, and ended when police arrested him in the home of Jared and Lindsay Rowley.
After evading Kansas police for a month, Dimmick broke into the Rowley home and held the newly married couple hostage. According to Dimmick’s suit, he and the Rowley’s had made an oral agreement that they would hide him from the police and in exchange he would pay them, but when Dimmick fell asleep eating Cheetos and watching Patch Adams, Jared and Lindsay left the house and called the police. When Dimmick awoke, surrounded by po-po, he quickly surrendered. It was then that an officer accidentally shot Dimmick in the back.
Dimmick’s lawsuit for $250,000 claims that the Rowleys breached the legally binding oral contract when they ran off and brought the fuzz to the house. Not surprisingly, Dimmick’s lawsuit was tossed right out of court.
10. Holy Lawsuit, Batman!
Everyone knows Batman, the crime fighting tough guy who keeps the city of Gotham safe from the maniacal machinations of murderers like Joker, Two-Face, and Riddler. What a lot of people may not know is that in the country of Turkey there’s a city called Batman that sits on the Batman River in the Batman Province.
Tired of Warner Brothers making so much money off their city, the mayor of Batman, Huseyin Kalkan, sued the studio, along with Christopher Nolan, for using the name of the city without permission.
It looks like the suit never made it to a court – Kalkan was arrested and spent 10 months in prison for promoting terrorism in 2008. Maybe the Caped Crusader dug up the evidence and shut his new nemesis down as fast as he could.
9. That’s A Lot Of Panhandling
In the kind of thing you may expect to see in a movie about a rich jerk who learns that compassion is what really matters, Karl Kemp sued four homeless New Yorkers for a million dollars.
Kemp, owner of Karl Kemp Antiques sued the four homeless citizens for sitting outside his Madison Avenue shop, asking for the insane amount of cash and an injunction that would keep the destitute people 100 feet from his shop.
8. Magic Theft
If you’ve ever seen David Blaine’s street magic specials, you know that the guy has some real talent. What you may not know is that his talent really is magical, and that he stole it from a deity known to us mere mortals as Christopher Roller.
In 2005, Roller sued Blaine for two million dollars, alleging that Blain used witchcraft to steal Roller’s magic for his personal use. A few months earlier, Roller sued David Copperfield for fifty million dollars giving the same reason in his suit against Blaine.
Roller is filled with some fun stuff. He claims that the movie The Truman Show is based on his life, and if you’re wondering how it is you missed out on a real life Truman Show, that may be because it may not have aired yet – Roller claims that he does not live in linear time like the rest of us losers, but that he jumps in and out of the timestream at will. According to Roller, we’ll soon be seeing a movie based on his life with Tom Hanks playing the lead. He wasn’t clear on if the movie will come out before or after he has sired a million children with Katie Couric and Celine Dion.
7. Mommy Says I Get An A+
Brian Delekta graduated high school in 2002, but he wasn’t happy about his final grade, so he sued the Memphis, Michigan school to get his A changed to an A+.
Brian’s suit claimed that he received an A+ in his work-experience class by working for his mom’s law office. The grade, given to Brian by his mommy, was changed to an A by the school, hurting Brian’s chances to be valedictorian.
Brian filed his suit after the Memphis School Board met and decided to let the A stand. We can’t find any information on what happened with Brian’s lawsuit, but we know that in 2009 he graduated Magna Cum Laude from Michigan State University College of Law, so it looks like things worked out for him.
6. Dead Can’t Dance
In 2005, the Recording Industry Association of America got tired of all the downloading and decided to sue the pants off as many people as they could, including Gertrude Walton. Walton, according to the RIAA, illegally shared over 700 pop, rock and rap songs under the name “smittenedkitten.” There were just two problems with the RIAA’s allegations.
For one, Gertrude didn’t own a computer. More to it, she refused to have one in her home. The second problem was that Gertrude, who was 83, had died a month before the RIAA sued her.
The RIAA has a long list of suing people for stealing music they didn’t steal. In 2003 they accused 66-year-old Susan Ward of stealing millions of dollars worth of music, including every Snoop Dogg song by using KaZaA on her Windows PC. The problem here was that Susan had an Apple computer, which could not run KaZaA.
In 2004, while suing Tanya Anderson for allegedly illegally downloading Splack Pack’s Shake That Ass Bitch, the RIAA lawyers called Tanya’s daughter’s school pretending to be the girl’s grandmother to see if they could get her to rat out her mom.
5. When It Rains, We Sue
After weatherman Danny Rup called for a bright and sunny day, a woman in Haifa, Israel left the house dressed for a warm day. When a storm broke out during the day, the woman was caught in the rain and she ended up catching the flu, making her miss four days of work.
The woman sued Rup for $1000 to compensate for the stress his inaccurate weather forecast caused her, as well as for the loss of work and the money she spent on medication. Her suit also called on Rup to apologize for his poor work.
4. Give Me Smooches Or Give Me Money
In a move that made every teenage boy silently say “why didn’t I think of that!?” 77-year-old Rolf Eden, who made millions by teaching a horse to strip women out of their clothes, sued his 19-year-old girlfriend Katharina Weiss for age discrimination when she wouldn’t sleep with him.
Eden took Weiss out for a night on the town, then back to his place for some… let’s say hard candy, but Weiss wasn’t really down with the plan, telling Eden that he was out of her age range. At that point Eden, who claims to have bedded over three thousand women, did what any rational adult would do; he called his lawyer.
3. Take The Cleaners To The Cleaners
Chances are at some point in your life, you’ll drop off a bunch of clothes at the dry cleaners only to find that there’s a piece missing when you pick them up. Normally the cleaners will apologize and offer to replace the missing shirt or pants or whatever; no biggie. Perhaps it happened one too many times for Roy L. Pearson, Jr.
In 2005, Pearson, an administrative law judge in Washington, D.C. brought some dirty clothes to Custom Cleaners. When he returned to pick up his newly cleaned clothes, Pearson noted that a pair of pants were missing. It turned out that Custom Cleaners accidentally sent them to another cleaners, and two days later, they got the pants back and handed them to Pearson.
Pearson took a look at the pants and was sure that they weren’t his. The ticket numbers matched, and the pants looked exactly the same, but Pearson was positive that these were not the same pants he dropped off. Angry, Pearson demanded that Custom Cleaners cover the cost of the pants, which was over $1000. Custom Cleaners, having given the judge his pants, told Pearson to blow it out his butt.
At that point, Pearson sued Custom Cleaners for $67 million dollars, which would buy a whole lot of pants. Amazingly, this lawsuit actually went to trial!
During the trial, as Pearson explained what his pants looked like, he broke down in tears, so we can only guess that these pants were made by the gods themselves. Perhaps Christopher Roller made them himself?
2. Just Don’t Do It
When sneaker company Nike says “Just Do It” they aren’t talking about brutally stomping on the face of a man, but that was something Sirgiorgio Clardy misunderstood.
Sirgiorgio, a pimp in Oregon, received a hundred year sentence for beating a man who tried to leave a hotel without paying for the sex worker he hired. The majority of damage was done by Sirgiorgio repeatedly stomping on the man’s face with his Air Jordans and, as far as Sirgiorgio was concerned, Nike should have warned him that this could happen.
Since the sneakers didn’t come with a warning that they could be used as a deadly weapon, Sirgiorgio figured that the least Nike could do was pay him $100 million dollars for his troubles, so he sued the company.
The hearing lasted for 23 minutes, with Nike’s lawyer speaking for only ninety seconds. The rest of the time was taken up by Sirgiorgio, who represented himself, rambling on about things that had nothing to do with his case.
1. Your Body Ruined My Bumper!
I can only guess that Tomas Delgado saw Karl Kemper suing homeless people for a million dollars and decided to see if he could out jerk him.
In 2008, Delgado decided to sue Iriondo for damage their son did to the bumper of his Audi A8 four years earlier. The damage happened when Delgado, who was speeding, struck 17-year-old Enaitz Iriondo who was riding his bike. Enaitz’s body had the audacity to damage the bumper of Delgado’s car as Delgado rammed into the teen, killing him.
Delgado’s lawsuit called for the Iriondo family to pay him 33,000 Euros to cover the cost of fixing the bumper and the car Delgado had to drive while his precious Audi was in the shop.
Looking to ensure he won the 2008 Most Inhuman Human Award, Delgado told the newspaper El Paris that “You can’t fix the lad’s problems, but you can fix mine.”
Delgado dropped his lawsuit after the entire world gave him that “Dude… really?” face all at once.