Surely anyone who has become a parent has, at one time or another, wondered just what the hell they got themselves into. Even those parents out there who swear that every moment with their child is bliss (because that’s just a facade, for sure).
Anyone who has ever watched Children of the Corn, The Omen, Village of the Damned, The Shining, or even Wes Craven’s New Nightmare, will know that kids can be pretty damned creepy. It’s just a fact. In addition to their inherent creepiness, they can also just be a handful and a pain in the ass.
If all of that isn’t enough to re-think parenthood, then just take a look at the twenty drawings below, done by children. Some are certainly creepy, others just depressing, and some…well let’s just say one wouldn’t want these drawings to be shared around class…
20. Demon Child
Ok sure, this little girl clearly just misspelled Santa, but on the other hand…did she really? She seems pretty nonchalant about her love for Satan. And let’s be honest: no kid who really loves Santa is that easy going about it. Kids are typically excited by Christmas. This kid seems content, but resigned in her love of Satan. And this should give parents, or would-be parents some serious cause for concern. Especially if any readers have seen The Omen. For all anyone could know, this kid could actually be the child of Satan. And what then? What happens when a parent discovers that their child truly loves Satan? Ok, ok. One might be getting a little out of hand with the whole kid-being-the-spawn-of-Satan thing. Realistically, it’s just some kid who doesn’t know how to spell, and happens to love Santa. But when one thinks about it, which is honestly more frightening? Raising the spawn of a fictional, biblical character? Or raising a child who just can’t spell? Terrifying to think about the education system today…
19. Paying The Bills
Could one even imagine being the teacher of the child who drew this? Never mind questioning becoming a parent. What about questioning the existing parents? Yes, to be fair, stripping is a good, money-making profession. This is absolutely true. But the notion that this drawing came from a kid who is now unbelievably sexualized from an incredibly young age, might be cause for a bit of alarm. There’s nothing wrong with aspiring to the chosen profession of one’s parents. But surely everyone can see the dangers inherent in aspiring to become a stripper. Especially when one thinks about the likelihood of the child who drew this picture certainly being years away from puberty. And that’s even before mentioning the notion that this little kid is fully aware of the ins and outs of the business already. There is no way that this kid (presumably, but not necessarily a daughter) should have actually seen mommy at work. Working in the business, and dragging one’s kid along for the ride are two very different things.
18. Kiddie Christianity
Well now if this little drawing doesn’t come from some kid down in the bible-thumping-belt of America, then the world is in a worse state than one might have initially thought. There are a few things disturbing about this picture. First off, this kid is not only aware that their teacher is an atheist, but the kid has been raised to believe that that’s something punishable by Hell. Secondly…that means this kid’s parents believe in something as silly as the notion of Hell. And thirdly, never minding the religious or areligious convictions of the teacher, this kid is clearly learning much less than they should. Especially given the twist and turn of every other damned (using the term advisedly) letter. Now who really wants to be a parent in a day and age when other children, and their parents, still believe in things like devils, a lake of fire, and a place called Hell? That’s just leaving room for all sorts of messes one just should not have to be bothered cleaning up on the schoolyard.
17. Hold The Family Baking
One must surely put a hold on the family baking, for a number of reasons. First of all, the family must discuss why their little girl assumes them all to be whores. Secondly, they must appreciate the fact that, in spite of them being whores, this little girl still loves them. And thirdly, they must consider every which way they will make sure to avoid Buzz Lightyear getting anywhere near their pies…though if they are all whores, perhaps they might appreciate Buzz’s contribution. But of course some must think of the poor child. Unless that child is incredibly vindictive, in spite of loving her whorish family, and fully intends to add some sort of special filling to their pies. In which case, one might think again about having another child. And certainly those on the fence about family may just jump off the side of freedom – and pies sans cream filling – in order to escape such an otherwise un-thought-of fate. But one must hand it to the kid…it’s a pretty good drawing of Buzz Lightyear.
16. Is That A Cat In Barbed Wire?
Yes, surely it could have been worse. It could have been a person lying in that barbed wire. Supposedly this kid is simply not a fan of cats…or if he is, he has a very interesting sense of justice when it comes to the hunting of other animals (in this case, the saving of the little mouse to the right). What is somewhat disturbing about this kid’s drawing, is the notion of animal torture. After all, Rob Zombie’s version of Michael Myers was more than happy to make animals suffer, and look where he ended up going. So the unexpected jump from cat mutilation to human mutilation is a bit of a cause for concern. Of course the kid could be perfectly fine, and was making an ill attempt at humour in the drawing above…or perhaps some sort of satirical piece (if he was old enough to understand that concept). But does any would-be parent really want to take that sort of chance with a kid? And what parent wouldn’t be at least a little perturbed by this horrific scene of torture?
15. Now That Is Actually Heartbreaking
Ok, never mind the fact that Syria is spelled improperly…this is actually just a deeply saddening photo. And it says a few things, and will eventually come round to the main topic of the article at hand. First of all, speaking of hands, one of the victims in the photo is missing one! Not to mention that the little child in the photo has its throat slit! Goodness, this is far too realistic for a little kid to draw. Which then goes on to the parenting of the artist of this drawing. What were they thinking, exposing their kid to something so real as this. Sure, the kid might catch wind about horrible things happening around the globe, but to know enough to so specifically illustrate dismembered bodies, and cut throats…the parents have exposed this kid to too much, for sure. And all of that aside, who really wants to bring a child up in a world like the drawing above? Because that’s the world of today, and no child should have to be exposed to this sort of thing, let alone feel the need to express their sorrow about it in a manner like the above drawing.
14. Blowing…The Whistle
To those readers who had the joy of watching Shining Time Station when they were younger: who is happy to know that neither Ringo Starr, George Carlin, nor Alec Baldwin blew a whistle in such a manner as Mr. Conductor? To be fair, their whistles were never quite so phallic as the one depicted in the above drawing. Now how are parents to explain that one away? It seems, much like the stripper entry above that this child may have seen a little too much of something, which translated into a very interesting drawing. Truly, this writer has never seen someone blow a whistle with mouth so agape and eyes so intensely wide. Of course this could just be due to the inability of the child artist to create something so complicated as pursed lips or eyelids, but it still must make one wonder. Though this could just be the simple perversion of the onlooker, and an otherwise perfectly innocent drawing, in which case…shame on all of us who do definitely see something other than a conductor blowing his whistle.
13. Merry Christmas
Again with the phallic symbolism. One can see how this could both be Santa’s hat, or some sort of representation of genitalia. Of course, if hair is what is perceived at the base of the…hat…then by similarity, one can assume the same for the tip. But that would be some sort of very unfortunate person to be so endowed. So in that sense, of course this is Santa’s hat. It might make a parent wonder just how easily it is that children do seem to go, even unwittingly, the phallic route though. Perhaps it has something to do with the subconscious of a young boy, or the somewhat conscious workings of a young girl. And in spite of all of the above, one can at least rest assured that, hat or not, it does at least not belong to Satan. This child is very sure, in terms of spelling, about Santa…unless of course this kid is poor at spelling as many of the other examples above and below, and meant something very different.
12. That’s Dark…
Ok, so there are some pretty damned dark elements to this drawing, to be sure. This drawing is said to have belonged to a little boy with schizophrenia. Given that fact, the mood of this article changes ever so slightly here, simply knowing that this belonged to someone with a real problem. However, that still plays to the topic of this article. Perhaps even better than most of the other entries. If ever there was something to steer someone away from parenthood, would not a schizophrenic child do the trick? Especially when one considers that that child is, in his own way, telling himself to commit suicide, in order to join the others that exist only inside his head? Imagine the constant surveillance required to keep a little boy like that safe. Not to mention the therapy and medication that would need to be cycled through before finding the right fit. All the while, “people” all around the boy are telling him to end it. That’s a truly terrifying notion. Even if the photo was ultimately found to be sourced from Tumblr…meaning it could very well be complete bullsh*t.
11. The Plot
Now this definitely has less to do with the fantastical convictions of the parents and a whole lot more to do with the scary scheming of the kid. Catherine seems to be one hard sort of little girl…and apparently with some connections (even if they are not effective). Now sure, this could have to do more with a very great imagination than any sort of true assassination attempt, but even then, there’s still something very disturbing about this note. Even if it’s just imagination, that still means that she gave some secret order, even to something imaginative, to have killed whomever the note is addressed to. One can only assume a parent, given the “good morning” greeting. That is cause for concern either way. It’s like having Stewie Griffin as a child – constantly planning one’s death. On the flip side, there is something remarkable about Catherine. She is clearly able to notice and correct errors in tense agreement, and she can even spell assassins correctly. Sure, she got failed wrong, but that’s still pretty damned good in comparison to some of the other spelling errors already seen in this article.
10. Wine Helps The Heart
Some scientific studies do show that red wine each day does help the heart stay healthy. Of course, one has a feeling that mom liking to drink wine might account for more than just a glass or two a day. And it really must be said that that is one heaping glass of wine. And mom is either so buzzed already, or so excited for the drink that glass seems to float above the table…and mom also, above her seat! Either way one looks at this picture, it is a terrible sort of drawing to have a teacher come across during class. Imagine the awkward conversation that would ensue during parent/teacher interviews. Oh kids and their wild imaginations…or very accurate depictions of the truth. One is reminded here of Marge Simpson when the Simpsons move away, temporarily, from Springfield. She is constantly seen sitting alone at the table, glass of wine in front of her…and then dramatic music ensues as she takes only a sip of the drink. Hilarious. If not for her kid though, this mommy would be able to drink inconsequentially.
9. Going For A Drive
It seems that the above caption is saying something of the driver being a lunatic, and the lower caption perhaps mentioning a lack of focus due to drinking. If that’s the case, then this drawing is of nothing more than a drunken lunatic. And that’s fine enough, that a child is aware of the pitfalls of driving under the influence. However, there is every possibility that that is not what is written above and below, at which point one must wonder what exactly is going through that little kid’s mind. That driver does look pretty happy to be gunning for that pedestrian. Could it be that this kid is in fact the lunatic and has vehicular, homicidal tendencies? No one can ever be sure. Kids will often depict a lot more about the truth in their seemingly fantastical drawings than one may think. And what happens when this little kid “borrows” mommy or daddy’s keys? Perhaps there’s a neighbourhood kid who has a date with a Datsun?
8. What A Sweetheart…
Sure, at least the kid signs off with love. One really does have to wonder just why it is that this kid thinks his dad is in Hell. Is dad actually dead, and someone told him that since he’s a sinner, he’s going to Hell? Is dad at some workplace that he has often described to the kid to be Hell? Or is this a prophetic image that the kid has drawn and given to his dad who, unbeknownst to himself, will soon be in Hell? Either way, it’s a bit dark and depraved to think about one’s father roasting in Hell. There is some sort of devilish side to this kid that one does not want to spend much time thinking on, to be honest. Well wishes to one’s father in Hell? Why the hell would anyone want a kid who would do such a thing? Unless it was prearranged that they go out of their way to keep in touch whilst one is in Hell. And then, of course, there’s the whole horrible thing about this kid being raised to believe in such a…hellish place. It’s bad enough to have the little devils…people also feel the need to spur them on?
7. Conflict Resolution
If this is not a very clear indication about just how this kid feels about Valerie, then…there’s just nothing to say to that. It is not enough to just tell Valerie to please remove herself from the kid’s life. No, no. The kid’s idea of conflict resolution is to take an axe to Valerie’s neck, and cleave her head from her shoulders. Now is this reflective of the parenting, or simply of the distortion of the child, devoid of parenting? If the latter, then there’s some sort of spawn-of-Satan thing going on again here. Either way, surely one could do without having to worry about one’s kid rampaging about with an axe, ridding themselves of whomever they wish to be out of their life. What if, for example, one was unfortunately parenting a child like this, scolded said child, and then continued as usual? Would there not be this underlying, constant fear of the kid sneaking into the bedroom at night to relieve one’s head from one’s shoulders? Better safe than sorry…just skip the kids part.
6. Who Doesn’t Love The B*tch?
First off Cameron H., everyone knows that b*tches be crazy. Second of all, to so exclaim just how much one loves the b*tch…might be a bit overboard. One almost thinks that this kid didn’t actually make a spelling error here. Cameron is just trying to get away with being a naughty little kid, without making it seem like she’s done anything wrong. Of course she can plead ignorance to the knowledge of how to spell ‘beach’. She’s a kid – anyone would believe that mistake and simply laugh it off. But this conniving little kidlum was probably messing with everyone all along, just in order to spell out some cuss word in big, bold letters for all to see. That, or maybe Cameron is actually a little boy who has some rather unfortunate ideas about women. The girl in the drawing is blushing after all, and maybe he just loves the b*tch. Who knows? He could very well be sitting underneath that umbrella in the background, calling out to her, and then reflecting to himself his feeling for her. Oh the things kids say.
5. Happy Thanksgiving
Sure, it’s about time that turkeys caught a break over Thanksgiving, but this is absolutely terrifying. Imagine if the pilgrims had come across the pond, only to find gigantic, axe-wielding fowl, ready to take some heads! The world in which we live would be very…very different indeed. One is tempted to say that this drawing is done by the child of someone from PETA, or some other intense animal rights group. Regardless, this is one hell of a graphic depiction of a Thanksgiving role reversal that surely we all hope never happens. Even just take a glance at the look of sorrow, and sort of confused betrayal on the face of the pilgrim above. He certainly never thought life would turn out the way it did for him. And one might not expect such things from a child, but their imaginations are indeed vivid, and they are full of all sorts of goodness and light…but also great deals of darkness and death. There is not much in interpretation for them. They are direct, and that can be very frightening, as readers will continue to see below.
4. Who Does This!?
Now…where to begin with this one? The first thing that comes to mind is to wonder just what exactly goes through a child’s head that this comes to their mind. The second thing, which has nothing to do with the disturbing content of the drawing itself, or the meaning of the words, is the fact that there is an improper use of ‘your’…twice. It, of course should read “When you’re cut up while you’re sleeping”. Now focus can be brought to the rather disturbing idea of being cut up while asleep. What makes someone think of such things? Has this kid come across someone being cut up whilst they slept? Or is he fully intending to cut someone up while they sleep, and is simply showing them a drawing of what that might just look like? Also, it must be noted that whomever he is looking to cut up, is likely a woman. Sure, it could be some guy from a metal band, but given a child’s typical extent of organization it may be safe to assume the person being cut up is female. Is this a drawing to his mom? Does anyone want to take such a chance, with such a kid? No thanks.
3. Ghoulish Girl
This just happens to be terrifying. It looks like, to this author, that the little girl in the middle just can’t catch a break. Not only does the guy in front of her seem to be poking fun and saddening her, but she is also being tailed by an incredibly frightening ghost, or ghoul. Now comes the time to suss out just what is happening here. Is the guy making fun of her for having only a ghouls as a friend? Is the ghoul a late family member or friend? If so, is the artist actually drawing what she thinks is really following her about everyday, through her saddened life? If so, then there is some therapy that may need to be had – since ghosts and ghouls aren’t real. Manufacturing the memory of a lost, loved one into a spectre that follows about, is a special kind of morbid, and morose that this author would certainly rather do without, for sure. A lot of these drawings really come down to whether or not a parent, or would-be parent would, could, or should really deal with this sort of thing.
Now here’s cause for alarm. While this might be a brighter illustration than some of the others, this drawing might be more readily indicative of imminent danger regarding the artist. Sure, Julian is protected by mommy and daddy in the drawing, but the knowledge of this “taking boy” is a bit unsettling. Is little Julian aware of someone coming after him? Who really wants to deal with fears of that sort of thing? Surely it’s not constantly on the mind of parents, but a drawing like this must bring some worrisome thoughts to their already wearied minds. Parenting is a twenty four hour job, and having to worry about some sort of shadowy “taking boy” is not something that would be celebrated among households, surely. It’s either that, or the “taking boy” is someone that little Julian goes out of his way to take, and that’s a whole other can of rather disturbing worms that no one really wants to open.
1. Because “Wine” Not?
So making a Christmas list at school might not be the best idea for this kid. Though one certainly cannot blame mom for wanting wine over the holidays. She will, after all, have to put up with the kid being home for about two weeks, and how is one to do that without a drink or two? Or at least that’s how this author would likely deal with such a seeming burden. Surely kids are a joy at one point or another, and they are necessary for the continuance of the species…but if nothing else, this drawing, like all of the others in this article and so many more to be found all over, is indicative of the incredible pain in the ass kids can, and will constantly be. If none of these drawings has made anyone re-think parenthood, then this author has certainly failed, but surely it’s pretty clear: kids are either ignorant, vindictive, or the spawn-of-Satan…so why put one’s self into such a hellish pit of despair? Surely there are better ways to go about life…like maybe another drink of wine…