As if we all weren’t sensitive enough to race, gender issues, abortion, politics, and everything else under the sun, you can find absolutely anything online in the form of a gag gift. There are many people who I like to say get butt-hurt about other people getting butt-hurt, meaning they whine about how nowadays people are offended by everything. And these people would be correct; we seem far too eager to call out everyone for everything if it is not perfectly politically correct. So if you know some of those people who are not offended by anything (except other people’s sensitivity to societal issues), there are some great gag gifts to give them a laugh this holiday season, and they are not few and far between. In fact, they are everywhere!
So you have come to the right place. Whether you are in search of an offensive gag gift, or you are a person offended by everything and trolling the internet for more stuff to b*tch about, I have the list for you. These are 15 of the more offensive gag gifts on the market, as they make fun of the topics most politically correct people would hesitate to even talk about, from current issues like homophobia and religion to controversial groups like PETA and the Nazis.
Have some fun this Christmas, and join the Naughty List with these 18 totally un-P.C. gag gifts that are clever, creative, disgusting, and offensive, all at the same time.
18. Gay Accent Mouthspray
Speaking of that Irish Accent Breath Spray from River Island overseas, there are also a slew of other products that advertise fresh breath and a new pronunciation. The most offensive of these is the Instant Gay Accent Mouthspray. It will cost you $5.99 on blueq.com, the “proud designers and manufacturers of life-improving, joy-bringing products since 1988.” If someone in your life is looking for a way to “improve their life” this holiday season, maybe they could do so with a gay accent! This innovative mouthspray is promoted as a “patented extreme voice-enhancing formula that instantly puts the sizzle in your s’s. Peppermint flavor.” Wow, now that is some creativity right there. And while I am sure it is meant to be all fun and games, I can see gay people, or any LGBTQ person or their loved ones, being offended by this “gift”, especially the part about the sizzling s’s. I, for one, am smirking, though. Blueq.com also offers a variety of other breath sprays to fix most of life’s problems, like Therapy, Instant Nap, Accept the Fact That You’re Aging, Understand Men, British Accent, Feel Incredibly High, Enjoy Your Job, and Talk to Your Cat sprays, among many others.
17. Alcoholics Anonymous Flask
Now there’s a conflicting product if I ever heard one! It seems highly inappropriate to hide a flask inside of an Alcoholics Anonymous book. Hiding alcohol inside of a book designed to help people stop drinking alcohol is not only tasteless but likely offensive to people whose lives have been ruined by alcohol or drug addiction and who are trying so hard to better themselves with or without the help of A.A. That is like hiding cocaine inside a cross necklace the way Sarah Michelle Gellar did in Cruel Intentions. Anyway, if you can believe it, this is not even the worst place to hide booze (check out #2 on this list). But it is close. However, if you still want to purchase this gag gift, you can do so on Etsy for a little upwards of $30.00. They offer an entire selection of hollowed-out books in which to stash booze, including a What to Expect When You’re Expecting version, which is also a pretty crass gift, gag or otherwise.
16. You’re Retarded Sweatshirt
Trust me, I get that it may be tempting to buy something like this for your buddy if you share this kind of sense of humor, but keep in mind that in order for your gag gift to be used, he will have to actually wear it. And wearing something this blatantly politically incorrect out in public pretty much anywhere is going to piss people off. The “R”-word is basically not acceptable anymore, so it is best not to use it, and definitely not to wear it so boldly on your clothing for the whole world to see. Many mentally-challenged individuals are not incapable of reading and/or understanding what these words say and imply, but you also have to take into account the people who know or love someone who is mentally-handicapped. All in all, that is a lot of people, and many of them would likely be offended by this overly-blatant show of nonchalance about using the “R”-word. This hoodie goes for $24.99 on bewild.com and comes in nine color choices.
15. Baby Head Candy
This looks more like a Halloween prop than a gift (even a gag gift), but hey, people like what they like. And that includes weird, disturbing, and apparently life-sized replicas of creepy baby heads. I have also seen baby head salt and pepper shakers, baby heads in jars, and other baby head creations, but these are not just replicas, they are candy. That’s right; you can eat these baby heads. Yum (gag). I don’t know what kind of person would want to do this, and frankly I am surprised anyone would given that dead babies are one of the most taboo and difficult topics. People usually refrain from even joking about them, especially those who have lost a child. For those people, even seeing a “gift” like this would likely be very hard and a painful reminder. Even people who have not lost a child would likely cringe seeing this. It is just a disturbing image, and these are pretty lifelike. And to think of eating them? No, thank you.
14. Police P Plush
Did you know you can buy a penis plush that resembles practically any kind of person (a painter, a rasta, a hippie, a biker, the list goes on)? Etsy even makes a Police Penis Plush, should you know anyone who would appreciate such a strange kind of thing. There are also people would definitely not appreciate it; remember those people I was talking about who get butt-hurt over just about everything? I can totally see them getting whiny about this, because it could be considered making fun of cops. With this year’s Blue Lives Matter movement in response to all the cop-shootings we’ve seen, policemen and women are either very respected or very hated. Those who respect them probably wouldn’t think much of this particular gag gift, especially because in the description of the product on Etsy, it is called an “anthropomorphic dick, posing as a a dick”, effectively calling cops dicks.
13. Short Bus T-Shirt
There are tons of shirts on the market making fun of the short bus, which we all know means the bus that is generally used for kids who are mentally handicapped. It has become a popular joke among people who tease each other about being stupid, but to someone who knows or loves a person with a mental disability, this sort of joke could be very upsetting since they know firsthand the struggles and limitations every day brings for the people who really do ride the short bus. This particular short bus t-shirt can be found on eBay and is available for a very low price of just $8.00. They are made by the company Cheap Ass Tees, whose description of the shirt reads, “For your buddy that is just a little slower… high quality screen-printed ‘Short Bus V.I.P. I’m Special’ design on your choice of a cotton t-shit, hoodie, or tank top for men and women in 10 different colors.” Taking class to a whole new level, they are.
12. Redneck Confederate Top
“Everyone loves a Redneck Girl” is what the words on this shirt read, but I have to go ahead and disagree there; I for one do not love rednecks or racists, or even people who think the Confederate flag is something to be worn proudly across their chest (or at all). And I am pretty sure I am not in the minority. This shirt is just trashy for so many reasons. Plus, it is not even cute. It looks cheap, and judging from the background, it is sold in some kind of roadside stop or gas station. The camouflage and hunter’s orange sweatshirt hanging behind it illustrates that point well. And if you look to the left of the shirt, there is plenty more Confederate memorabilia available for purchase, including a belt and what appears to be a compact. Maybe I am off my rocker here, but I must have missed when Confederate-chic became fashionable.
11. Fake Ultrasound Photos
Keeping in line with the offensive nature of some baby gag gifts like the candy baby heads, we now have the fake ultrasound. I have seen them time and time again, and there are just as many people who think it is hilarious to play this prank as there are people who would be very offended by it. These people are mostly those who have struggled to conceive or who have lost a pregnancy or a baby, or know someone who has. They are sensitive to people faking and making light of fertility, pregnancy, and birth, and feel it is not a joking matter. Women can easily buy fake pregnancy tests and ultrasound photos these days to prank their husbands, boyfriends, Facebook acquaintances, and family and friends, but now that it is the holidays (which is always a great time to announce a planned pregnancy for a couple who is trying), you can expect the pranks involving this product to go up, too.
10. Anti-Fat Bedding
The site rageon.com that sells this interesting product, explains why you need it: “When you’re stumbling into your room hammered at 2:00 A.M., this will be a friendly reminder that the hefty girl you brought home is a no-no.” Wow, that sounds like it would go over well. I would just hope that “hefty chick” was drunk enough to not realize she is being insulted, because guys tend to pretty much sleep with anything unless it is really gross, so that would totally be a slap in the face to be kicked out by a guy who clearly wants sex because he brought you home, only to be reminded by his comforter of all things that you are too fat to sleep with. Ouch. However, for those guys out there who would like to purchase something like this (the anti-fat chick idea can also be found on products of all kinds such as baby onesies, phone covers, bumper stickers, even women’s tank tops!), you can purchase this bedding in sizes Twin through King, for $99.00-$149.00.
9. Presidential Dolls
Given that half the country (or more) is still reeling from Donald Trump winning the presidency and are pissed about it, this lewd Hillary blow-up sex doll will likely offend a lot of people. Hillary-supporters, and those who just hate president-elect Trump and would rather see anyone else in office, seem quite protective over their former candidate and get butt-hurt about things like this. But for that staunch Republican in your life who has a dirty sense of humor, this gag gift could provide a lot of laughs around your Christmas tree this year. And likewise for the Democrats, there are plenty of items poking fun at Donald Trump on the market, as well, like this lovely Donald Chump Love Doll. FYI, there are also blow-up Barack, Just-In Beaver, Tiger Woods, and many other “love dolls” you can buy depending on your personal preference.
8. Anti-Nag Gag
This charming but misogynistic gag gift would probably best be suited for a couple who really understands each other’s sense of humor, because even as a joke, I don’t know any woman who wouldn’t be at least a little suspicious of her spouse if he gave her this. Clearly, calling a woman a nag is a big no-no, and joke or no joke, she will likely wonder just how serious her husband is if he buys her this. Hopefully men know their partners well enough to know whether or not they want to risk sleeping on the couch by getting this risky item. This product from River Island actually suffered a lot of backlash on Twitter for being sexist. Other products from River Island, which has over 300 stores in the UK, Russia, Singapore, Ukraine, and many other countries, include a novelty inflatable beach boob, and an Irish accent mouth spray, which promises to actually give you an Irish accent.
7. Swastika Lighter
You can find anything on the internet these days, and that includes Nazi memorabilia of any kind, not just lighters. Any of it would be offensive since Adolf Hitler and the Nazis carried out a genocide (and historically speaking, not even that long ago; some of the victims are still alive). But we will use this lighter as an example of it all. It is cleverly advertised as “historically-inspired”, when really it should be advertised for what it is: repulsive, sickening, and not something to be promoted, profited from, or even tolerated on any level. That products with the Nazi logo exist, and in such huge masses, is abhorrent, and I honestly do not know who would buy this, although plenty of people must, or all of the Nazi memorabilia would not be on the market. And I really don’t know who would not be turned off to this gift, and thus, to the gift-giver, himself. Not cool, budk.com. The lighter costs $8.99, and sadly, there are too many similar products to name.
6. PETA Shirt
As with the Nazis, there are many products besides just shirts that poke fun at animal rights activists, such as PETA (People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals). They are known for their over-the-top antics when it comes to animal welfare, but still shirts like this one and other like-minded products would be very offensive to them, and really to any person who has loved an animal. This shirt would be a good gag gift for someone who is a big meat-eater, but anyone else could be a risky recipient of it. “People Eating Tasty Animals” is essentially mocking what PETA actually stands for as well as purposely using their acronym to do so. And as we know, they are damn serious about protecting animals, some even having gone as far as to assault or attack people they feel abused an animal, or wore fur, or things of that nature. So whether or not this shirt is funny to you, think about it before giving it or wearing it, especially out in public where you never know who you could offend enough to become dangerous.
5. Redneck Toothbrush
Google “redneck/hillbilly” gag gifts, and you will find enough presents to keep you amused for a lifetime; it is not only the toothbrushes. But this one could be viewed as more offensive than, say, a t-shirt or keychain or something because first, it implies that “rednecks” (defined as working-class white people from a rural area) or “hillbillies” (defined as unsophisticated country people associated originally with the remote regions of the Appalachians) have no teeth. With a large population of Americans probably classified as either a redneck or a hillbilly for one reason or another, and with just as many who have horrible teeth for whatever reason (most likely lack of insurance or the funds to fix said teeth), this gag gift that is supposed to be funny could be seen as offensive. More likely, it would just embarrass someone who was not fortunate enough to have a good set of teeth, and shame often leads to anger, and that leads to things like dumb gag gifts being taken offensively.
4. Ms. Wonderful Doll
Another sexist and misogynistic product out there is this Ms. Wonderful Doll, which only serves to perpetuate the idea men notoriously should have the “perfect” woman. Most women cannot live up to what that unrealistic notion is, and their shortcomings, if you can call them that, will lead them to be offended by this gift. Any idiot would know not to actually give this to his wife, especially as a gift, but I could see a guy buying it as a gag gift for a buddy or a male relative, particularly one who often b*tches about his spouse. The bright blonde, big-boobed, bimbo-esque doll speaks 14 phrases that a real-life Stepford wife might say, all of them dumbed-down, brainless, and offensive to any modern-day woman who has an iota of self-respect. Funny to some men, insulting to most women. I’d say it definitely deserves a spot on this list.
3. Sensational Inflatables
Reviews of this product are not stellar to say the least (one customer on Amazon called it an “eight-inch inflatable cylinder with a cartoon stamped on it”), but for a dumb gag gift, that would not deter anyone, especially the kind of person that would order something such as this in the first place. If you know someone looking for an instant “inflate-a-date”, then look no further. The company Sensational Inflatables (not to be confused with the children’s bouncy house company of the same name) sells miniature love dolls for that horny person in your life. There is the “perfect female specimen” that doesn’t talk, give headaches, and is reusable/disposable; the “perfect male specimen” that is not smelly; and last but of course not least, there is the Instant Jesus, because why not? Who doesn’t need an inflatable Jesus doll? Mocking Christ is not offensive, at all (eye roll). At least the makers of the product advertise that it is just a novelty joke and not a real, working, life-sized sex doll, for all of those who were not clear on that, like the Amazon customer who was disappointed in its (total) size of eight inches.
2. Holy Bible Flask
Clever or sacrilegious? You decide. One of the more practical gag gifts for a drinker (and even a religious drinker!), there are multiple variations of this Bible flask on the market. Some people probably take themselves too seriously and would be offended by this hiding place for booze in a Bible replica (even more offensive are the ones that are an actual Bible with its pages cut out to make room for the flask). But we must remember that Jesus turned water into wine, and so maybe this can be a celebration of that, and not something to get butt-hurt over, although I am sure people are. So this could be the perfect gag gift for a friend who likes to be sneaky with their liquor, because who is anyone to judge, right? A Bible could be the perfect way to hide your demons, so to speak, and no one would ever suspect it so it would be easy to sneak into places. You can buy one for just $16.99 on jiver.com, or tons of other places with varying prices and styles.
1. I Love ISIS Mug
You’d better make sure that if you are going to give this mug (or any of the related products like keychains and t-shirts available online) to someone, they have a pretty good sense of humor. To proudly declare you love a radical Salafi jihadist militant group who is responsible for murdering so many people is a little taboo. I get that it is a joke, but there are plenty of people out there who would not find it funny and who would, in fact, be quite offended by making light of such a serious threat to our freedom. Especially known for their beheading videos, this hits too close to home for many Americans. They are not Al Qaeda, but people associate them with terrorist killings like 9/11, and fear for what they could plan and carry out in the future on both a large and small scale. This mug, while a joke, might be taking things too far. So maybe don’t buy “I Love Isis” products unless you either love a girl named Isis (or you love the Egyptian goddess of the same name just that much), or you are supportive of the actual militant group. But even then, still don’t buy it.