In our brief time on this planet, the imagination and hard work of some incredibly bright people have given rise to some of the world’s most significant creations. Where would we be without things like the airplane, the car, the telescope or the internet? These are undoubtedly proof of the human brain working to its best ability. But among all the incredible inventions to come to light, the human race has also been responsible for some of the most bizarre and unnecessary innovations ever!
They often say it can be a thin line between crazy and genius. But these wacky creations definitely belong on the more crazy end of the spectrum! From a creepy robot pal that feeds you tomatoes to an egg cuber and a duckbill muzzle for dogs, these absurd inventions have us scratching our heads in amazement and wondering – ‘How the hell did some of these ideas pass the drawing board stage?’ We love the creativity behind some of these zany designs, but at the same time, we’re also a little concerned about the mentality of some of their inventors.
The art of inventing is all about trial and error, so maybe we’ll see a few of these take off someday. The ‘selfie stick’, for example, is a hugely popular invention of our time, but even that is seen as ridiculous (and has actually caused a few deaths too). People are naturally curious, so perhaps some folks were happy to part with their hard-earned cash for the sake of these novelty items (before regretting it immediately of course). These have got to be 15 of the most insane inventions ever designed…
15. ‘Hug Me’ Pillow
This monstrosity is all kinds of creepy. The Hug Me pillow is meant to comfort single men and women and to keep people company when their husbands or wives are out of town. The pillow is in the shape of half a torso and an arm intended to cuddle you while you sleep – but who could honestly get some shut eye knowing this thing is wrapped around you?
The creepy one-armed pillow can be yours for just $40 and is sold with the strap-line ‘Feel the hug of a real man without the snoring, smell, tossing or turning’. Call us old fashioned, but I think we’d rather have no hugs at all than cuddle up to a disembodied torso during the night. The Hug Me pillow may have been invented as a gag gift but even so, I can imagine a few singletons would be quite insulted to get this from their secret Santa (not to mention incredibly creeped out!).
14. The Robot That Feeds You Tomatoes
We’re all familiar with the old school wearable technology like the hat that let lazy guys sip Beer while on the move or at a football game. Since then, wearable tech has progressed somewhat and we now think of smart watches and Fitbit wristbands to help track our fitness levels. As for this weird-ass invention? We’re sure the inventor of ‘Tomatan’ had good intentions, but this just looks like something from a low-budget horror movie.
Like today’s wearable tech, Tomatan does have one health benefit – it feeds its wearer healthy, ripe tomatoes on the move. In this sense, your robot buddy is helping you get your five-a-day wherever you are. But why only tomatoes and why the creepy robot that looks like a toddler with a tomato for a head? This bizarre gadget, designed by a Japanese juice vendor, is worn like a harness and feeds you tomatoes with its arms that stretch over your head and place them in your mouth. Why, just… why?
13. Potato Chip Grabber
Elsewhere in Japan, eating potato chips has become so much of a strain that people can no longer use their hands to pick up the lightly-baked snacks and put them in their mouths. Speaking of lightly-baked, the inventor of this must have been smoking something to think anyone would want to spend money on something so ridiculously lazy! Maybe Homer Simpson would buy this useless gadget, but we’re struggling to believe that anyone in the real world would honestly part with their money to avoid using their arm muscles.
The hilarious demonstration video for the Potato Chip Grabber on YouTube has to be seen to be believed. Apparently one of the amazing features of the chip grabber is that it has ‘No broken clunch system’ – we can only assume they meant using it would prevent the potato chip from breaking or ‘crunching’, but their odd use of grammar just adds to the hilarity of this stupid invention.
12. Anti-Pervert Hairy Stockings
For any woman who wants to deter creepy guys from staring at their legs, these unattractive hairy stockings are surely the answer! This disturbing pantyhose design had originally appeared on a Chinese blog before becoming a viral hit, with one blogger aptly labeling them ‘anti-pervert stockings’. Wearing these fetching stockings gives you the appearance of having gorilla legs so that pervy men will be instantly disgusted and leave you alone.
While we’re in favor of helping stamp out sexual assault in all forms, it might cause girls less embarrassment to simply carry some pepper spray with them. Apart from Chuck Norris, most men don’t even have legs as hairy as this – could a pervert really be fooled into thinking women can achieve this look when going au natural? We wonder if the same manufacturer also has plans for attachable underarm hair and a mustache to ensure that all flirty creeps out there well and truly get the message.
11. Egg Cuber
Have you ever been bored with the oval shape of an egg? Nope, neither have we, but the person behind this insane innovation obviously thought there was a gap in the market for bizarrely shaped food. As you can see, the Egg Cuber allows you to enjoy your morning egg in square form – just in case you found it too boring and unappealing in its original style.
The Eddington’s Egg Cuber compresses a warm, hard-boiled egg into a cube of eggy goodness. Aside from amusing kids at birthday parties, we’re not sure why this was created. Apparently, fans of egg sandwiches would find it easier to slice them up and place them flat on the bread with the Egg Cuber. This really is one of those gifts for the person that already has everything. Maybe Bill Gates would like a special edition egg cuber that transforms a hard-boiled egg into the Windows ‘95 icon?
10. The Revolver Camera
As you can see – but probably can’t quite believe – this bonkers contraption is half-gun, half-camera. (This gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘photoshoot’). Thankfully, the gun camera only shoots pictures for you, not bullets, but this can’t have been much consolation to some poor stranger walking in front of your ‘shot’ at the time! What brainbox ever thought the combination of a real handgun and a camera would be a great success?
This revolver camera apparently took an automatic photo when you pulled the trigger and the film chamber would have to be reloaded once the maximum shots had been taken. It’s not known why the revolver camera was invented, but if it was meant for use by spies or the police, they probably should have gone back to the drawing board with this one. Can you imagine the photo gun being used at a wedding? “Now everyone smile and say ‘Aaaargh!’”
9. Grass Flip Flops
Who likes the feeling of walking barefoot in the freshly-cut grass? Probably quite a lot of us. But how many love the sensation of grass between our toes enough to want it all the time? If you happen to fit that very bizarre need, then these will be your dream footwear. Grass flip flops allow you to kick off your work shoes and rest your feet in a cozy pair of…grass-lined sandals.
It’s safe to say the inventor of the slipper is resting quite happily in their grave. We can possibly see the appeal of grass flip flops for a few minutes, but after that, we’d just start to feel stupid. Anyone interested in buying a pair will be pleased to know that you won’t need to water them or mow the grass since it’s synthetic. If you wear these indoors and you find a worm curling itself around your toes, you only have yourself to blame.
8. The Quackbill Muzzle
As if our poor canine pals didn’t feel bad enough wearing a regular muzzle, they had to invent ones as ridiculous as this! Like quite a few of the insane inventions on our list, the Quackbill Muzzle hails from Japan and transforms your dog into Daffy Duck for the day. The traditional muzzle design is pretty intimidating and makes dogs look fierce, so presumably, the design of a duck’s bill was chosen as it makes the dog look – not only harmless – but undignified too.
We see what the Japanese inventors at Oppo were aiming for with this, but they could have chosen a better design. Perhaps a normal muzzle in bright colors? This strange looking innovation is obviously more fun for the dog owners and passing kids than the poor pooches themselves. The humorous design could have the reverse effect – dogs will catch sight of their stupid reflection and take it out on other more sophisticated dogs.
7. Baby Stroller Scooter
Do we really need to point out why this invention is so unbelievably stupid? The Baby Stroller/Scooter hybrid allows bored mom or dad to extend the back wheel of the buggy and hey presto, their child’s stroller is now a cool scooter! There is one drawback of course – you probably won’t be able to scoot faster than 5mph since you’re meant to be responsible for the human life form attached to your ‘scooter’. Can we say parenting fail?
We’d hate to think what happens when an overenthusiastic parent slams on the brakes and forgets to buckle junior up correctly. Yikes! Seriously, how was this ever approved? Any parent seen riding this death buggy through the park will be pursued instantly on a child cruelty offense. The Baby Stroller Scooter can go one of two ways – either the baby will love it and giggle for hours on end or the parent will find themselves frequently cleaning baby sick out of the buggy and saving up for child therapy sessions!
6. Jeans With See-Through iPhone Pocket
A lot of our modern inventions are centered around making life easier while using a smartphone, and while some are these can be pretty cool like high-quality camera attachments and stands that allow you to watch TV and movies on the go, this particular phone accessory is definitely not worth the money.
For those obsessed with their phone so much that it is pretty much a part of who they are, they’ll be loving the jeans that feature a see-through and touch-sensitive pocket for their iPhones, allowing them to post an update, tweet or text without even taking it out. This just takes our obsession with technology a little too far. Not only does a see-through jean pocket look stupid, there’s a good chance that highlighting your phone for all to see will attract thieves more than ever before. The original invention of the good old pocket, after all, was to hold valuables and keep them, um… hidden from view!
5. Spaghetti-twisting Fork
Seriously, how lazy do you have to be to need your spaghetti twisted for you? This motorized twirling spaghetti fork takes all the (supposedly) hard and boring work out of winding pasta up manually so you can enjoy your meal in the satisfaction you haven’t had to lift a finger. At only $10.45, who could say no?
The automatic spaghetti twisting fork was apparently designed for ages 8 and up, but this still doesn’t excuse the lazy nature of this invention. Children aren’t stupid – if they can master the art of using a knife and fork by age 8 (and hopefully before), then they can certainly be taught how to twirl their own pasta! Besides, twirling pasta yourself is messy and that can be part of the fun. Give this to a kid and they’ll soon be holding a knife over some butter expecting it to spread on their bread automatically. SMH.
4. The ‘Ab-hancer’
Any invention that claims to improve your appearance is bound to fly off the shelves, but we fail to see why this one was so popular. You could probably get the same results if you held an oven grill rack against your stomach for half an hour (or slept on a waffle iron). We love the fact that one of the Ab-hancer’s main features is that it can be ‘worn under clothes’. It’s one thing to use this god-awful contraption in the comfort of your own home, but to go throughout your day wearing this under your clothing? Wow.
One of the testimonials from a male customer (who was quite obviously paid to review it) said of the Ab-hancer: “I couldn’t believe how effective it was, chicks dig it”. Let’s see how much chicks ‘dig’ your instant miracle abs when you pick up a dumbbell at the gym and give yourself a hernia in the process. Smooth.
3. Snowstorm Protectors
Being caught in a blizzard is never pleasant. Your skin feels battered and bruised by the icy winds and you just long to be inside so you can warm your face against the fire. Fortunately, those living in Canada in the late 1930’s didn’t need to worry about the harsh outdoor elements with these babies. These bizarre plastic cone-shaped masks were a Canadian invention from 1939 and were known as ‘snow protectors’.
As you can see, they protected your entire face from the weather, but they also had the added effect of making you look like rejects from Alice in Wonderland. We’re not sure why the elongated cone shape was necessary as a shield from snowstorms. The pointed end must’ve taken out a few eyeballs in its time too. Since a balaclava does pretty much the same job and has been around since the 16th century, this innovation was as useless as it is idiotic.
2. Nose Stylus
For the phone user who can’t be bothered to use their fingers, the nose stylus works your phone for you! Like a stylus pen, the nose stylus is worn over your actual nose and allows you to use your touch-screen phone without wasting any finger-tapping energy. We don’t really know where to begin with this invention – but the first thought that springs to mind is that anyone wearing it looks kinda like Noseybonk from the creepy-ass BBC kid’s show ‘Jigsaw.’
This disturbing invention was thought up by British designer, Dominic Wilcox, who found that using his smartphone in the bath often proved problematic since he would unwittingly use a wet hand to tap his phone and struggled to navigate using just one hand. It occurred to him that his nose allowed him to scroll through web pages and eureka! It’s said that necessity is the mother of invention, but there is no real purpose to this creepy and unbelievably lazy creation.
1. Mousetrap Pistol
Nobody likes to find a rodent in their kitchen, but for those hell-bent on killing the furry four-legged pests in the most barbaric way possible, the Mousetrap pistol was invented.
When rat poison and traditional mousetraps just won’t do, let a loaded revolver do the trick! This ludicrous and highly dangerous mousetrap was invented by Texan James A. Williams in 1882 and was, unsurprisingly, not a great success.
In place of the usual mousetrap mechanism to release and trap mice, a 50-caliber loaded revolver was set up to go off when a poor little critter would step onto the platform in front and cause the trigger to pull. As well as being an unnecessarily gory and messy way to deal with vermin, this must’ve shot a lot of people in the foot when the trap was accidentally set off by some food falling on the kitchen floor. The inventor certainly shot himself in the foot with this one.
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