The human body is amazingly resilient and the amount of abuse it can handle is remarkable. Many ER doctors would tell you that taking foreign objects out of patients’ bodies is not an uncommon practice at all. The items on this list are crazier and weirder than most of what they have found inside people, though. We have tried to go beyond the banal coins or keys swallowed by mistake, or the “usual” Coca-Cola bottles and “toys” shoved up people’s rectums. Actually, what you are going to learn is that the anus is an incredible canal – it has the almost unlimited capacity to accommodate various objects, including living animals! Whenever the good doctors face a case of a large foreign item inserted in the anus, they get the same cliché explanation. Although the patients stubbornly claim to have slipped and fallen onto the objects, doctors know the embarrassing truth – they all were used for pleasure.
And the variety of the abnormal things surgeons have found inside other bodily parts after slicing them open is also quite impressive. From cutlery and light bulbs to unexploded bombs and small trees, some lucky doctors can truly say they’ve seen it all. No matter how they ended up in the body – by accident or on purpose – the nature and the size of these objects will blow your mind.
Welcome to the fascinating world of emergency medicine.
15. 20-Inch Long Swamp Eel Eating Through A Man’s Intestines
“Do not try this at home!” We’ve heard the phrase many times, but hardly ever paid attention. This time, however, you should, no, you MUST take the warning seriously and never, ever try THIS at home!
Acute abdominal pain made a 50-year-old man from China’s southeastern province Guangdong admit himself to a local hospital. The physical exam showed the man had peritonitis, but what the X-ray revealed came as a shock to the doctors in the emergency room. They could spot the shadow of an eel! The patient first claimed he inserted an Asian swamp eel in his rectum to relieve his constipation, but later admitted he had seen it in a porn movie and wanted to try it. Initially, the eel could have indeed brought him some sexual pleasure, but eventually, it chewed through his colon and went far inside his body before it got stuck in his body cavity. Because of this sexual experiment the man had to undergo an all-night surgery to have the eel extracted.
14. Ringing Cell Phone Fished Out Of A Lawyer’s Rectum
A 39-year-old lawyer from Georgia was showering with his cell phone (because this is what people usually do in the shower!) when he slipped and fell onto the phone, which got firmly stuck in his anus. Or at least this is the story he told the doctors in the ER. During the surgery, the phone rang a couple of times but nobody could answer it before it was removed for the lawyer’s body.
Another story just from last year reveals that an inmate in the infamous Strangeways prison in Manchester complained of severe stomach pain, so the guards took him to the medical wing. The doctor on duty expected for the X-ray to show gallstones, but instead he saw a cell phone in his rectum. Apparently, the intention was to smuggle the item that way. Surgery was not necessary and following the doctor’s orders, the prison guards escorted the convict to the bathroom where he managed to cast out the phone the natural way, and then flushed it.
13. Fir Tree Growing Inside A Lung
This one may sound like an urban legend, but it is a one-hundred percent real story, well documented with X-rays and photographs. When the 28-year-old Russian Artyom Sidorkin went to see a doctor because he had extreme chest pain and was coughing blood, he feared the worst. The X-rays did reveal a formation resembling a tumor, but when the surgeons cut Sidorkin open, they found a 5-cm long fir tree growing inside his lung. The doctors had no idea what had caused this medical rarity, but they guessed the man must have inhaled a seed, which later sprouted into his lung. Although it had been very painful, Sidorkin claimed he never felt the foreign object inside his body. The surgeons removed the major part of the lung and the biopsy of the tissue showed no signs of cancer. The Russian news service Novosty, which spread the news, says nothing about whether the patient kept the miniature fir tree to grow it into a more favorable environment.
12. Chinese Guy Lives Four Years With A Blade In His Head
30-year-old Li Fuyan from Yunnan province in Southern China had been complaining for years of severe headaches and bad breath. He suspected his suffering had something to do with the fact that he was once stabbed and robbed. When he finally underwent surgery, the doctors found and removed a rusty, 4-inch blade from his skull. Four years prior to the surgery, Li got stabbed in the lower right jaw by the robber and the blade broke inside his head. The man never realized it and went on with his life, being grateful that he was still alive after this brutal incident. The Chinese media called this case a miracle. And how wouldn’t they! When checking his mouth, the doctors found no scar of a wound inflicted by the knife. They are still wondering how then the blade got into his head.
11. Bomb Found Inside A War Hero
In March 2011, the then 23-year-old private Channing Moss was patrolling in a mountainous village somewhere in Eastern Afghanistan, when his unit was attacked by Talibans. One of the rocket-propelled grenades hit Moss’ Humvee, throwing him against the wall of the armored vehicle. His comrades immediately called for evacuation via a helicopter. They spared the rescue crew the not-so-tiny detail that Moss had a bomb in his abdomen because they feared that they wouldn’t be transported. The doctors in the nearest field hospital performed a highly risky surgery given the fact that if the mini-missile the length of a cricket bat had exploded, they could have turned into “pink mist”. They used a hacksaw to remove the bomb’s tail fins and then took it out through the entry wound.
10. Vibrator Gets Stuck, Then Salad Tongs Follow Suit!
A guy engaging in some self-pleasure gets a vibrator stuck in his bum. This case would have been quite banal if it wasn’t for the other object beside the sex toy the doctors had to extract from the patient’s rectum. This is what actually happened before the guy sought medical help. When the vibrator got stuck he tried to remove it himself as he felt embarrassed to go to the hospital in such a condition. But since none of those techniques worked he thought of something that could be more effective. So, he used… salad tongs to fish out the toy. Except that they got stuck, too. You now realize how important it is to know that there exist vibrating plugs, which are always the safer method. If, of course, you don’t care that much about the depth!
9. Kinky Lover Pours Enema Fluid Into His Boyfriend’s Rectum
Many people are into kinky stuff even without having read Fifty Shades of Grey or similar pieces of inspiring literature. This gay couple, however, took S&M lovemaking to a completely new level. The two men had run out of fresh “spices” for spicing up their sexual life, and when one of them came up with the not-so-brilliant idea to pour through a funnel some enema fluid mixed with concrete into his partner’s rectum. The stuff eventually solidified and almost ruptured some major organs in the guy’s lower half. The hardened mass had to be removed surgically and the guilty lover stayed with the victim throughout the whole procedure. We strongly hope that after this painful and embarrassing incident, the couple stayed together. And that they learned an important life lesson, i.e. concrete should be used only on building sites.
8. Granny Gives “Birth” To A Stone Baby
For many expecting mothers, nine months seem like an eternity. But tell this to 92-year-old Huang Yijun from China who waited for 60 years to deliver her “baby”! However, the baby she gave birth to was not of flesh and blood, but of stone. This was a case of the extremely rare medical condition known as lithopedia when the fertilized egg gets stuck outside the uterus. The egg doesn’t break as it normally does, so the fetus continues to develop. In Huang Yijun’s case, however, it wasn’t removed on time, and at some point, it started calcifying. It is not that she didn’t complain about this unusual object inside of her, but she had no money to have it removed. And so she went on living for 60 years with this stone baby in her belly. The story has a happy ending though. Once the woman was visiting the hospital for an injury to her stomach when the examining doctor discovered the focalized baby, and finally delivered it. Of course, nobody expected the baby to cry its first cry once out of its mom’s womb!
7. Woman Swаllows 78 Pieces Of Cutlery
Officially, there is one person in the world who knows from personal experience how it feels to have an entire canteen of cutlery inside your body.
Surgeons in Rotterdam, the Netherlands, were blown away when what resembled a squid in the X-rays of a patient’s stomach turned out to be a set of 78 different items of cutlery. The 52-year-old Margaret Daalman was suffering from some sort of disorder – every time she’d sit down to eat, she’d rather swallow the cutlery than the food. Actually, that was not the first time she was admitted in a hospital for eating forks and spoons. But Ms. Daalman had always showed preferences – she would never eat knives! And that was kind of a smart move, you have to admit.
6. 4-Kilo Hairball Takes Up A Girl’s Stomach
This is another case of a rare psychological disorder which led to a shocking discovery during operation.
An 18-year-old girl from Kyrgyzstan came close to death as she couldn’t digest any food or drink water without being sick for months. When the doctors in the city of Bishkek cut her open, they found a giant hairball. The mass that had taken up all of her stomach had led to the amazing 40-pound weight loss. The girl’s rare condition is known as Rapunzel syndrome and results from trichophagia, i.e. ingesting hair. The patient had been eating her own hair and hair picked up from the floor for years and because the human body doesn’t produce enzymes to digest hair, the mass grew to this incredible size.
The medical practice knows other such severe cases of the syndrome. In 2012, doctors in India removed a hairball weighing 1,8 kg from the stomach of a 19-year-old student. The record is held by a young American woman, who fed herself hair for years until the mass inside her reached the impressive weight of 4,5 kg.
5. Fly Maggots Live In A Woman’s Ear
The 27-year-old Rochelle Harris started having excruciating headaches on her way back from a vacation in Peru. First, she didn’t pay much attention to the pain, but then one night she woke up to a scratching sound which seemed to be coming from inside her head. This made her go see a specialist. The diagnosis came as a shock: She had an extensive mass of maggots living in her ear. As she wondered how they had got there, the doctors explained that a fly known as New World screwworm laid eggs in Harris’ ear and some of the babies chewed their way through the ear channel. The surgeons managed to remove a total of eight large maggots. If they hadn’t been removed on time, there was a big chance that they burrowed into the brain, eventually killing their hostess.
4. 8-Year-Old Swallows 30 Magnets And Steel Balls
If the manufacturers had made the magnets look like peas or broccoli this incident might have never had happened.
In 2008, an 8-year-old girl from Indiana had emergency surgery because of the eight holes in her intestines, which the doctors initially believed were caused by gun shots or stabbing. However, when they slit the girl open, they found out her stomach contained 10 magnets and 20 steel balls. When the young patient woke up, she explained she swallowed them because “they looked like candy.” She first licked the rusty surface of one magnet and, as she liked the taste, she ate it. Along with the 29 other items. As we know, magnets attract each other. When they clustered together, they started tearing the kid’s organs to pieces with their magnetic force, thus endangering gravely her life. But she survived and is now willing to tell other kids that they should refrain from eating their toys or things which resemble candies, for that matter.
3. Light Bulb Illuminates A Guy From The Inside
Have you ever heard the expression “where the sun doesn’t shine”? Well, in this case the phrase happens to be far from metaphorical.
A guy named Fateh Mohammad was serving a sentence in a Pakistani prison for bootlegging. One night he went to bed without expecting anything unusual, but he was horribly mistaken. The next thing he knew he felt unbearable pain in the lower part of his stomach. He begged the guards to take him to the hospital. There, the doctors were puzzled to find a large light bulb in his anus. Of course, given the circumstances, Mohammad had to come up with a falsе, but relatively plausible story about how the bulb ended up there. He claimed he must have been drugged and other inmates (or why not even the officers) must have shoved the bulb into him. It took the doctors an hour and a half to extract the foreign object. We can tell from this heartbreaking story, that apart from the physical pain, there was a lot of psychological trauma involved too.
2. Large Perfume Bottle Ends Up In Lawyer’s Rectum
What’s with lawyers and their kinky taste, you would rightfully ask. We can’t answer this, but we can entertain you with the story of this honorable member of the bar and his fetish for a certain perfume brand. The guy was admitted to a university hospital because he inserted a large perfume bottle so far up his rectum that, although he tried to fish it out himself (which must have worked on previous occasions), he couldn’t. The examining doctors could see his rectum was pretty swollen and resembled a grinning clown’s face, but this didn’t stop them from extracting the stuck object with their gloved hands. Later, it was revealed he wouldn’t stick just any bottle in his bottom. He had a special liking for a women’s perfume called Impulse Body Spray, the bottle of which had the impressive measures of 3 by 17 cm. Just FYI – a regular dildo is 4 by 20 cm, which corresponds to a 7.8-inch penis. And here are some more statistics – the average human penis is six inches long. Now, you do the rest of the math.
1. Prisoner Smuggles 30 Items In His Rear End
Or at least that was his intention before he got caught. It is a common practice for prisoners to stuff things they will be needing “inside” into their rectum, but this guy set an absolute record so far. Our hero, the 34-year-old Neil Lansing, managed to pack in a single condom, 1 syringe, 1 cigarette, 1 lip balm container, 1 drugstore receipt, 1 piece of flint, 6 matches, 1 coupon, and 17 Oxycodone pills. This well-stuffed pack of goodies was supposed to suffice for the whole first week behind bars. The most curious part of this story is not that his rectum was able to hold such an abundance of amenities, but the fact that after the case went viral in the public space, the condom brand the inmate used, gained incredible publicity and their sales increased like crazy.