They say that “the customer is always right” but this is a rule that can surely be broken when dealing with asshole customers. Some customers can be very wrong indeed and make life a living hell for the serving staff. For the sake of tips and keeping their job, most servers will grit their teeth and let a rude customer walk all over them, but then there are the waiters who take matters into their own hands – and these guys are my heroes.
As someone who worked as a waitress after university, I know firsthand that people in the service industry are routinely treated like crap. Most of the time, customers are friendly and polite, but every so often, you’ll come across a customer that makes you want to spit in their burger. While I was tempted, I never acted out any epic revenge on my asshole customers (apart from cursing them under my breath), but man how I wish I’d had the guts to try some of these pranks!
Forget simply spitting in their food, these pissed off waiters had far colder and more devious forms of revenge up their sleeves. There’s the usual tampering with food type of revenge here, as well as trashing personal possessions and humiliating the customers. You might think these waiters went too far, but personally, I think these jerk diners got what they deserved. Some of these stories weren’t even premeditated acts of revenge – just karma being a bitch! Here are 15 delightful times that serving staff got their sweet payback on rude customers!
15. A Very Ballsy Margarita
Every once in a while, a customer will want something sent back – it’s all part of working in the catering industry. But there are some people who take this prerogative a little too far. Fair enough if you found an actual hair or insect in your food, but asking to have your dish or drink replaced more than once starts to look pretty arrogant and makes the customer come across like a self-entitled a-hole.
One bartender named Ryan had this experience with a stuck-up customer who demanded to have her margarita sent back not once, but three times! Customers who abuse this right are often wanting to find some bullshit excuse to avoid paying and 9 times out of 10, it doesn’t work. So, when the lady asked to have her margarita sent back a third time, Ryan decided to dip his “olives” into the drink before sending it out to her. She must’ve been pleased with the new secret ingredient, ’cause she didn’t ask for another!
14. Lemons That Were Extra Sour
The only thing more bitter than a lemon was one customer’s horrendously bad attitude during one restaurant rush hour. While rushing around attending to multiple tables during a busy shift, a waiter (referring to himself only as Justin) was rudely assaulted by one diner desperate for more lemons. Justin had apparently already served the guy enough lemons, as he put it, “to cure a small nation of scurvy,” but the customer wasn’t satisfied.
After repeatedly shouting across the restaurant for “extra lemons” and humiliating Justin, the guy soon got his wish. Seeing red, Justin went back into the kitchen especially to serve up a bowl full of extra lemon slices for the whiny little bitch outside – only this time, they had the added ingredient of floor dirt. Burn! The insufferable diner was served all the lemon slices that had fallen onto the kitchen floor. Ah, the extra tang of bacteria!
13. A Dirty Dollar
After serving a super rude family, one waitress saw an opportunity to get them back in an amazingly gross manner. A waitress named Marisa worked at a busy family diner and would always get a rude regular table on Sundays. A family of 7 would come in for the lobster special and each and every member would always treat her like dirt – but the father of the family was the worst. The dad trained all 5 of his kids to snap their fingers to get Marisa’s attention. Annoying AF.
Admirably, Marisa could brush this off and even deal with the condescending finger snapping. What really got her goat was how lousy a tipper the family was. The family only ever tipped one dollar for a family meal for 7! Knowing that the father only ever paid in cash, Marisa spotted an opportunity for revenge. After working one Sunday, she kept one of the dollars, went home and literally wiped her ass with it. She then gave it back to the jerkwad father in change the following Sunday!
12. Salad Served With Dishwater Sauce
In an another epic tale of food tampering, one bitchy customer got what was coming to her after treating a bartender like crap. The woman ordered a steak salad and was going out of her way to be really condescending and rude towards a super kind and shy member of the bar staff at the restaurant. The other waiters and restaurant staff noticed how unnecessarily bratty the diner was being and decided, for the barman’s sake, to do something about it.
The diner’s steak was going to be served with a side salad and salad often comes with a dressing – but what kind of dressing could that be? Deciding that urine soaked salad would probably be too noticeable and get them all fired, they spotted the next best thing – dirty, grease-filled dishwater! One of the waiters filled up a ramekin with filthy dishwater and poured it over the entire side salad dish. The cherry on top was hearing the customer say that it “tasted great” with every bite!
11. iPhone Wallet Dumped In A Trash Can
While working at a casual diner in Brooklyn, a waitress named Kezwick was tending to her regular table when the diner started complaining incessantly about her meal. She also started to whine about her life too (did she get the diner mixed up with a psychiatrist’s office?). Anyway, while poor Kezwick was dealing with her as best as she could, the diner openly called her a “bitch” among other words.
Kezwick let her insults slide and got on with her waiting duties and the rude woman soon paid up and left. When Kezwick went over to clean the lady’s table, she noticed an iPhone wallet and case had been left behind. There was no iPhone but plenty of credit cards, money and ID cards. While most people would be tempted to keep the cash and return it, Kezwick did one better and dumped the lady’s phone wallet into a nearby trash can! She hoped a homeless person might find it and have an awesome day!
10. Creepy Subway Flasher
15-year-old Subway worker Sandra remembers a regular creepy guy who would flash her if she didn’t give him free food. She tried calling the cops on him a few times but they couldn’t ever do anything about it because the guy would flash and leave. (She was told that the perv needed to be caught “in the act” to be arrested). What makes things even more infuriating is that Sandra was told by her manager to “get over it.” Okay with old men flashing teenage girls? Nice policy, Subway.
Anyhoo, one time, Sandra was working alone when the creepy guy walked in and started making disgusting “grunting” noises. Sandra was taking cookie sheets out of the oven at the time, so the perv demanded he has some free cookies. She turned around to see that he had started to unbutton his pants. She told him she’d give him some free cookies. “Really?” he said. He got them, alright. Sandra threw the hot cookie sheet at him, chocolate chips and nuts flying everywhere. He never came back.
9. Milkshakes On The House – And The Car
While working at a hot dog stand in Chicago in the early 90s, high school student Greg remembers one awful day that finally caused him to snap. The hot dog stand was the only one for miles and had recently had a drive-thru section built in due to its popularity. One Saturday, the place had cars backed up the entire length of the drive-thru lane and Greg was the only guy in charge of receiving orders. One car ordered bags worth of food (which took ages to prepare) but they decided they wanted to go to McDonald’s instead and drove off.
At this point, cars were honking impatiently and drivers were even getting outside to yell at Greg for the hold-up. A while later, Greg hears a familiar voice over the drive-thru intercom – it’s the same guys who ran out on their order for McD’s instead. This time, they placed an even bigger order, including eight large milkshakes. When their order is finally done after 20 minutes, the driver arrives at the window and says “I forgot my wallet. Just cancel the order.” Greg picked up the tray of chocolate shakes and hurled it into their car window, exploding everywhere.
8. 12 Checks And A Parking Ticket
It’s not unheard of that some diners wish to pay in separate checks, but how about 12? One very difficult diner wanted the bill spilt 12 separate ways! Insane. Writing out more than two separate checks can be stressful enough, particularly on a busy night. But the customer wants what they want, so the poor waitress (referred to only as Michelle here) obliged and went ahead dividing the bill 12 ways.
As Michelle was preparing the checks for her, the petty lady diner got more and more impatient and started yelling at her for taking so long. At this point, anyone would be tempted to throw the checks in her face and let someone else deal with her, but karma had other ideas. While the lady was busy bitching about getting her 12 checks, her car was slapped with a ticket for parking in a handicapped zone. Michelle said it was her best workday ever.
7. Soaked In Sangria
15-year-old waitress Kelli was minutes from closing up when a party of 6 strolled in. At this point in the day, the restaurant was still serving food, but a more watered down version of the full menu to allow cooks and cleaners to prepare something quick and finish up. All but one member of the group were fine with the more modest Tapas menu, which featured homemade dishes that could be plated quickly.
The loud-mouthed leader of the group not only demanded the full set menu from Kelli but began swearing loudly, calling her “a little bitch” before hocking a huge globule of spit on Kelli’s shoe. The teen walked back to the kitchen and started to cry when the angry customer came bounding into the kitchen to order a pitcher of sangria. The head chef obliged and gave her the set menu which seemed to shut her up. A moment later, one of the waitresses approached the table with the sangria and poured the entire jug over the woman’s head!
6. “Buttering Up” Asshole Customers
The act of buttering up rude customers would usually mean that you bend over backwards to make sure a table is completely satisfied and leaves you a nice tip – a free refill, an extra bread basket etc. But not in this case. One waiter named Matteo worked with a waitress who taught him everything he knows about “buttering up” customers, and it’s pretty genius.
This fellow waitress taught Matteo a clever move which involved putting a blob of warm butter on the fleshy part of your hand between your thumb and forefinger and walking over to the rude table. Waiters always have to check on a table every 10 minutes or so, so you would walk over, lean your butter hand on the back of the diner’s chair and lean in with a “twist and release” move. All the better if you work in an upscale restaurant, ’cause butter could really ruin a dress or dinner jacket!
5. Sexting Revenge On One Ludicrous Family
One very demanding couple got a hell of a surprise after going to pathetic lengths to avoid paying for their meal. The mother and father of a family of four were being rude as hell to one waiter (who wants to remain anonymous). On top of this, they were keeping a restaurant coupon aside to present at the end of their meal. There’s nothing wrong with this, but the family had run up a huge tab and the coupon only covered $75 worth.
When the father of the table was presented with the bill, he lost his sh*t and couldn’t understand why gratuity had also been added to the check. The couple bitched about it until the manager suggested they would only have to pay 10% of the bill! The anonymous waiter took down their phone number in the reservation book and placed it in the “hookups” section of Craigslist! He also made sure the family was inundated with porn pics and texts, placing the ad in 7 different states on the ad site!
4. The Demanding Subway Jerk
Another asshole customer at Subway – this time, a patronizing rich guy who expected to be treated like royalty. During a busy lunchtime rush, Subway worker Sharron and just one other assistant were dealing with a queue of about 15 people. One customer, parked outside in a yellow convertible, came strolling in ahead of everyone in the queue and ordered a sub right at the cash register. He slapped a five dollar bill on the counter and asked that they bring the sandwich straight to his car (he was on his cell phone the whole time).
Sharron and her co-worker explained to him that he needed to queue up like everybody else as they were in the middle of serving someone. The jerk responded in the most patronizing way possible, saying that “It’s not my fault you chose to work in fast food. Put the sub in a bag when you’re done.” (The guy ordered his sub to have “tons of onion” sauce, btw). Sharron went out to the car with a bowl full of onion sauce with his sub marinading in it, dropped it in his car and said: “Sorry, we were out of bags.”
3. Tossing A $200 ID Card
A waitress named Andrea worked regular graveyard shifts at a snobby diner in downtown LA when her boss asked her to work a Monday morning shift. Knowing she’d be paid double her hourly wage, she agreed, but it didn’t seem worth it for the table she was about to serve. A group of executive types walked in with their office IDs and lanyards around their neck and the head of the group was a pushy woman Andrea simply dubbed “Ms. Important.”
Ms. Important of the group demanded a side salad, despite this not being part of the breakfast special menu. Andrea kindly explained that all salads were made fresh and only served after 11 am on the lunch menu. Ms. Important couldn’t accept it and asked to see the manager (who the hell wants salad for breakfast anyway?). The staff made her a salad and the group paid (no tips) and left. When Andrea returned to clean the table, she noticed the woman’s ID had been left. She kept it until the end of her shift and dumped it in the trash. The ID card apparently cost $200 to replace. Ouch!
2. First Ever Shift From Hell
Technically, this revenge was acted out on employees rather than customers, but they can be just as bad and we had to include this story for sheer bad ass quality. So, 16-year-old Eddie was working in his first ever job as a dishwasher in a busy seafood restaurant. His first ever shift got off to a bad start since the other dishwasher had called in sick and his first day at work was a busy Friday night. The restaurant was packed and Eddie knew he’d be in for a long, long night.
Already stressed and nervous about the prospect of cleaning a mountain of dishes (for a restaurant that served around 200 people), Eddie’s co-workers thought it would be funny to make it more difficult for him by piling up all the griddles and kitchen equipment on top of the customer dishes. He stared at the Everest of dishes he’d be cleaning until 4 am and said f**k it. He ripped his apron off, flushed it down the toilet and climbed out the bathroom window! Best exit ever.
1. Pizza With A Side Of Karma
Revenge took a more karmic turn for this asshole. While working at a pizza take-out place, counter worker, Larry, took regular phone orders and on weekends, the lines were inevitably crazy busy. To deal with each order, Larry had to routinely tell customers the usual “Thanks for calling, please hold!” Most customers were fine with this, except for one impatient guy who loudly shouted “NO!” when asked to hold.
After calling back 3 times and getting the same response, the impatient guy actually showed up to the pizza joint and threw an epic tantrum about not getting his pizza on time. Larry and other staff members placed his order and assured him that it will be ready in no longer than 20 minutes. The dumbass asked where his pizza was every 5 minutes until it was finally ready to be delivered to his car, but the guy was too enraged to listen and slammed the door. He gets his pizza and puts it on his car roof all the while yelling and cursing the staff inside. Larry and the staff watch as he gets into his car (forgetting the pizza on top) and starts to drive away – pizza sauce and toppings smeared across the trunk and onto the floor!