There are pros and cons to every job. However, when you work in the adult movie industry there are extreme pros and cons in addition to strange mishaps that occur along the way. Here is a look at the extreme, odd and (some) downright gross stories from the “other” industry.
To make it in this world, especially in the adult industry, you need to get the scene right the first time and that means keeping focus regardless of what happens. If an object breaks, doesn’t fit, or hits you in the head, you shake it off (sometimes literally) and get back to work. Budgets in this industry don’t allow for many retakes so you really need to roll with the punches. I also suspect directors use the word “trooper” when something bizarre happens that would make most of us stop or just plain quit. “Hang in their kid, be a trooper, we need you kid!” Yeah, that sounds like something a director would say on one of these sets. At least that’s how I picture it.
You think you had a bad day at the office? Read on to see what happens in the adult movie industry, I doubt you had a sound from your body on mic for all to hear and I’m guessing you didn’t get set on fire. If this did happen to you and you made it through the day, well then congratulations, you have what it takes to make it in the adult industry. Here are 15 shocking mishaps from the other industry.
15. Wasp Versus Tarantula (Joanna Angel)
Sounds like a good name for an adult movie right? “Wasp Vs. Tarantula” starring Darren Stiles as Wasp and Jasmine Nails as Tarantula. I would see that, well, I’d at least check it out for a few minutes. What can I say, I’m a sucker for a good title.
So the story here, told by Joanna Angel, is that one time she was doing a shoot outside and while they shooting a scene, a wasp carrying a dead tarantula just walked by. Apparently the wasp was so big you it would have been a struggle to even kill it with a shoe. For someone who is terrified whenever a small honey bee gets within five yards of my head, I would have definitely not been able to continue. One thing that doesn’t add up to me in this story is how do they know the tarantula was dead? Maybe the wasp was taking it to some crazy bug/insect sex party. Maybe? I mean, I’m not sure where this was, but apparently it’s where you go for sex parties. Why can’t the wasp and tarantula get in on the fun?
14. The Curious Case Of Pink Eye (Mercedes Carrera)
Most adult movies that have a man and woman end with the man climaxing. There are several ways this is done, but in many cases there is fluid involved. Sometimes the woman gets hit in the eye with this fluid. When it happens over and over, Mercedes Carrera learned the hard way that you can get pink eye. Apparently her partners were very good dart players, continually hitting the bull’s-eye time and time again…
Can you imagine waking up with pink eye, knowing what it’s from and having to go the doctor’s office for medication? “So, tell me Mercedes, any idea where you may have contracted this virus?” “Well, doc, I’ve been thinking about this all morning and I’ve narrowed it down to 25 guys, 2 girls, and a tiger named Jerry.”
13. Unintentional Head Shot (Andre Shakti)
A true pro in the adult movie industry can take a beating and never lose focus. Sometimes the beating is staged as part of the scene and other times it is in the form of a mishap from a flying object. In the case of Andre Shakti, a flying vibrator hit her in the head, hard enough to make a loud cracking sound. Apparently Shakti didn’t let it impact her performance, but I’m guessing she still had a few words with whomever thought that trying to shoot a vibrator into the scene was a good idea.
For me, I need more details, specifically what was the size of this sex toy? There are small compact toys and then there is the much larger variety. You know what I’m talking about – the ones named King Kong, Super Train, or Good Year Blimp. Okay, I made the last two up, but I’m pretty sure there is a King Kong and if there isn’t I think I finally have my Shark Tank idea.
12. What Exactly Happened Here? (Prince Yahshua)
If you work in the “other” industry, what is the worst possible thing that could happen? You’re probably thinking not being able to get an erection and sure, that would be embarrassing; however, that happens to the best of them (except apparently Ron Jeremy – what is that guy’s deal?). No, the absolute worst thing that could happen to a male performer is that he breaks his penis. That’s right, it’s time to pull up your pants – this isn’t one of those sexy stories.
The story, told by Prince Yahshua, is that his female co-star was a rookie in the industry so he decided (as the seasoned veteran) to show her a thing or two and had her do the reverse cowgirl position. Well, apparently she definitely showed him something because she broke his wee-wee, causing lots of blood as well as I’m assuming quite a scream. How much you want to bet that while filming and hearing the initial scream, the crew mumbled “Yahshua is really selling his orgasm today, what a trooper.”
11. The Fire Drill (Johnny Sins)
Remember when Michael Jackson’s hair caught fire while taping a Pepsi commercial? No? Well, it happened. When Johnny Sins’ hair caught on fire, it was not like that at all. No, one was the biggest pop star in the world with the best pyrotechnics money can buy, this one was adult movie star Johnny Sins, a can of hairspray, and a lighter. The latter was a scene where they wanted to create a fire ball and Sins’ clothing caught fire. I really think they should have just incorporated the Stop, Drop, and Roll drill (with his partner) and went with it. So unprofessional to stop and put out the fire.
Given the low budgets for these movies, we can assume it was that cheap Aqua Net hairspray, which is pretty much made to start fires, and a mini Bic lighter (probably black). The igniter probably burnt his fingers twice trying to get the mini lighter to stay lit long enough to ignite the Aqua Net. Had this been captured on YouTube it would be in my favorites. Please don’t judge, I’m a big fan of mini Bic lighters.
10. Mouthwash Please! (Tanya Tate)
The ultimate “trooper” story is this one. If you get grossed out easily or are not a fan of poop you should skip to the next entry. You have been warned…
Tate was doing a scene with another girl who was getting very fresh with Tate’s backside. At one point during the scene the girl paused and removed something from her mouth, then continued. Yes, it was poop. Poop! Oh, did we just skip by THEN CONTINUED?! That’s right she was a real trooper. Tate did give her mouthwash, but let’s face it, the damage was done.
Diseases aside, a lot of adult movie actors have a list of things they will do and things they will not. This particular actor probably only had one on the list. I’d like to know what the evening is like after an incident like that. Do you come home and just tell everyone to leave you alone, pour yourself a stiff drink, and plop yourself in front of the television? I’m thinking hard drugs are called for in this situation.
9. The Rudolph Story (Derrick Pierce)
Not everything always goes according to plan, and in the adult movie industry it is often the norm. During a scene, Derrick Pierce was having a rough time, literally, so rough that the outer layer of skin had worn off his private parts. This is horrifying enough, but hold on… (Here is when I warn the faint of heart to skip to the next entry.) The problem was that Pierce hadn’t climaxed yet so he had to “make it happen.” Talk about focus, I can’t imagine the pain of closing out that scene. I guess there is a reason hard drugs are prevalent in the industry.
I was once told by a manager that no matter what happens, if you “deliver” you will always be successful and wanted. I guess it depends on what your job defines as delivery. For some, it may be balancing the books as an accountant, picking up all the garbage on time if working for Department of Sanitation, or I guess ensuring a scene has a happy ending regardless of the pain or messy finish that ensues. I guess what I’m saying is – Derrick Pierce clearly delivers.
8. Did I Do That? (Mindi Mink)
Our bodies make sounds non-stop. We burp, fart, and even grunt sometimes when standing up. I’m guilty of all three. For women there is also “queefing,” the fart sound that comes from the vagina during penetration due to trapped air. It’s pretty natural and definitely not embarrassing. Of course, I’m not wired to a microphone, nor am I being recorded. (Note: Pretty certain I’m not being filmed. Sometimes I fantasize someone is recording me in hopes of creating the world’s most boring documentary of all time.) Mindi Mink was mic’d up and had a loud queef during one of her scenes.
Honestly, I think it’s great and should be embraced. Adult movies should have a bloopers section at the end of each movie that’s 90 percent farting and queefing. Maybe they already have this; I don’t think I’ve ever made it more than 10 minutes into one of those movies.
7. Uh Oh, Something Is Missing! (Kimberly Kane)
During filming of adult movies, many women use sponge contraceptives. Did you know sometimes they can get “lost?” Yes, that’s right. Luckily there is often someone around to help retrieve the missing object. For Kimberly Kane, this happened and her response was that once it was “fished out” by an on-set doctor and that it looked like a “little corpse.” That’s a seasoned veteran response right there, I’m guessing rookies freak out and believe they are going to die.
The whole on premise doctor is an interesting job to have. You really need to be ready for a lot of potential scenarios. Object insertions, missing sponges and blood, oh my God the potential for lots of blood is all very real. I bet these doctors are a big hit at dinner parties, telling stories of what they found up some girls private parts or initial diagnosis of why a penis is acting a certain way. Yeah, maybe on second thought he just keeps his place of employment to himself.
6. Unexpected Explosions (James Deen)
James Deen has made a lot of movies and has seen a lot of…stuff. One thing that happens and apparently has never surprised Deen are explosions from the backside. Actually the quote from Deen is “If you’re going to f#@& someone in the butt you shouldn’t expect to not find poop!” Well said, Mr. Deen. Still, I would guess if you are doing the deed from behind and things get a little too relaxed leading to an explosion, there is an element of surprise. No one just towels off and says, “okay, now where were we…” Well… maybe Deen.
Deen starred in the movie The Canyons, an indie pic that didn’t exactly get praise from critics. Deen played a manipulative guy opposite Lindsay Lohan where he got to show off his day job with lots of sex scenes. I felt confused and fully expected the movie to go all in half way through, but alas, once again disappointed. I expected way too much, Deen.
5. Sleeping Beauty (Derrick Pierce)
It’s never good when someone falls asleep during sex, but when it happens during the filming of an adult movie the first question should probably be – is this person alive? Derrick Pierce had this happen to him when a female actor fell asleep during one of their sex scenes. Now, there is a reason this happened. Apparently the actress wasn’t feeling well and requested daytime cold medicine. Instead of Dayquil she got Nyquil, and took it. I’m sorry, but this is a pretty major breakdown of common sense.
First, someone had to buy the wrong medicine. I mean it says “DAY” and “NY” right on the label – one is the color orange, the other death green. Everyone knows the green Nyquil is made to knock you out and give you crazy dreams. You don’t drive after taking the green stuff – that’s a general rule of life! Secondly, the actress obviously took the little plastic shot glass, she had to see it was green and didn’t ask questions! What is it with these actors just putting whatever is handed to them right into their mouth? Nevermind… The only possible explanation is that everyone involved was colorblind and unable to read.
4. Lost In Translation (Rain DeGray)
Most of us generalize adult movies into one group: adult movies. However, there are several different genres that adult movies fall into. Hardcore S&M is one of those categories and this is where Rain DeGray plays. Seriously, do not google her name if you are at work. It took me exactly three pages of images before I found one where she didn’t have a ball gag in her mouth. Hardcore folks, no joke.
DeGray’s story is one of lost in translation. During a scene, she instructed her “partner” to spit and instead, he vomited. Maybe he didn’t understand her or maybe he didn’t understand English (likely), we don’t know more than the story told. Regardless of why it happened, my question is how did it happen? Who vomits on command? I am way too impressed by this talent. If someone commanded me to vomit it would take a very long time and would definitely involve fingers down my throat. I guess that’s the talent you need to get the hardcore jobs. What a job interview! “Okay, question three, can you vomit on command and if so, please demonstrate!”
3. Silicone Spillover (Daisy Ducati)
During the filming of movies in the other industry, there are a lot of fluids on set. Some are natural and others are lubricants used to “enhance” the experience for the actors and those involved. Sometimes these extra materials get built up and just need to come out. For Daisy Ducati, that’s exactly what happened during the filming of a movie with another girl. The scene called for the two to sit on the edge of a box, and when Ducati took a seat there was a lot of excess fluid released from her backside, leading to a very big mess on the floor.
I mean, this happens in the industry often, no doubt, but there definitely must be a “did I do that?” moment. Not to mention the assistant that is forced to quickly clean up this mess. The smell alone would make me quit. This is not like picking up number twos after your dog. There is a very bad story being told in that puddle.
2. Is Anyone Here A Doctor?
This particular story was told anonymously so I guess it’s possible it’s an urban myth of the adult movie industry. Still, it deserves its two minutes. The story is pretty basic, but horrific nonetheless. During the climax part of a scene the camera zooms in for the money shot and got an unexpected surprise when it was blood shooting out of the penis. I can’t imagine the collective reaction in the room. What was the girl’s reaction? Did she immediately freak out and request an updated HIV test? Was the director unhappy or happy with the turn of events?
Most important, what was the reaction of the person with the blood fountain formerly known as his penis? There are few things that would be more concerning to me than having blood shooting from my penis. My reaction would be a very loud shriek, louder than if I had broken my penis.
1. Squarepants? How Is This Going To Work? (Skin Diamond)
Parodies have long been an important part of the adult industry. Sometimes they costume part of the scene actually gets in the way of the actual deed. For Skin Diamond, she experienced this when her co-star was dressed up as Spongebob Squarepants. The costume fit loosely and they were supposed to have sex with the costume on. The problem was that the guy couldn’t even get his penis through the costume.
There is something very disturbing as I picture this in my head. First off, it’s Spongebob, a show I will never watch the same again with my kid. Also, who is paying to watch this? We really need to take a closer look at a society if there is a demand for this type of movie. What’s next? Curious George? What if George has a series of sexual adventures only to end up with the finale: a scene with The Man In The Yellow Hat.
Okay, I think we are done here.