Love ‘em or hate ‘em, tattoos are more popular than they have ever been before. From tasteful butterflies around one’s ankle to lightning bolts etched across one’s cheekbone to full “sleeves” of crosses and pics of mom, tats are works of art that are not going away any time soon (literally and figuratively).
There was a time way back when, where tattoos were mainly seen on men, and not the conservative types. But in today’s world both men and women alike sport permanent body art and are not afraid to show it off. Some tats look great, others not-so-great, and the rest are downright cringe-worthy. Like a 5-car pile-up you just can’t seem turn your head away from, the following tattoos are a rubberneckers worst nightmare/secret obsession.
Take a look at these 15 females’ tattoos and be the judge. Are they cool, crazy, or total crap? The gals seem to love their tats enough for them to have made their way to the internet for public consumption, so at least they have one fan. Oh, and perhaps the tattoo artists are proud of their skills, as bad as they may be in some cases.
These tats are here to stay for good. So unless they want to cover themselves up for the rest of their lives, these savage tats will be seen by everyone they meet for the rest of their lives, sagging skin and all the rest.
15. What A Dope
Yes, this gal thinks her below-the-butt cheek area is the bomb.com, but as far as her declaration of “most dope?” Maybe the dopiest is more like it. How did this cheeky chick sit down comfortably after having her underbutt permanently inked with what is sure to horrify her grandchildren one day? Yes, the penmanship was done rather well, but the message is far from Shakespearean. And one day that now firm ass will inevitably drop, having her mate wonder what the tattoo once read. “Daisy Dukes” are a fine fashion choice for summer, but what a waste this work of art will be when temps drop into the single digits. She can’t go pants-less during a blizzard. However, on the plus side, if cellulite settles in, this tat will be available in Braille as well, so she got 2 tattoos for the price of one in a sense. But at what price, some may speculate?
14. Poor Lip Service
What does “poopsex” even mean, or do we even want to know? Oh, geez, I just looked it up, sigh. Okay, so this gal can only show off her tat if and when she wants to, but to whom does one want to reveal a drool-covered slang term to anyhow? She had already adorned her bottom lip with a prominent piercing, but apparently that alone was not enough manipulation to complete the overall lip look. Whatever happened to a nice shade of mauve lipstick or even a coat of ChapStick to give your lips a little oomph? When did things get so permanent? Surely a kiss from this lady would be unique and one may wonder if she has another term etched into the underside of her top lip. At least her mother and father are relieved she didn’t get her favorite word tattooed across her forehead. A little modesty is always a good lesson to teach your kids.
Does this mean she poos from her butt crack, or was the message from someone else who poos on her butt crack? Either way, this distasteful work of “art” is a real piece of shi%. Additionally, is that blob of ink at the end of the arrow supposed to be a poop or a heart? When you need to ask, you know you’re witnessing a true tattooing hack job. No offense to this lady, but her backside was bad enough before the added message about her #2 mechanics. And P.S., we already know where you poo (from). Heaven help us if she has a similar message on her front side. Not only would that be horribly painful, but a real shock to her gynecologist. Thankfully she’s wearing this sexy thong (sarcasm) so we are able to clearly view the full message. If this is Victoria’s Secret, it’s no wonder it’s been kept hush-hush.
12. Turn the Other Cheek (please)
Damn straight this chick is loyal! It takes a devoted person to make the permanent choice to tattoo her face, so “loyalty” was the perfect word for this imperfect decision. This gal looks like she is young and she seems pretty cute, so why she opted to ink her face is a mystery and a mistake. When gravity runs its course as she gets older, these letters will drop as low as her loyalty to her tat will become. And does her other cheek have a similar message or is she partial to her right side? Perhaps a heavy coat of foundation can cover her ink when she needs to go in for a job interview or attend a religious service, but she’d need an entire bottle of Cover Girl to get it sufficiently covered. Next time you want to make a change to your look, try a swipe of a new shade of blush or buy a new pair of sunglasses. “Loyalty” is best suited for man’s best friend, not one’s face.
11. Back to Black
At least this gal is committed to her last decision. This popular saying seems to have many meanings for this particular woman – her obvious love for Africa, perhaps her taste for men of such descent, and dark black ink… it’s permanent! This chick’s back seems to have a generous surface area, so etching a continent seemed like a smart choice on the part of the tattoo artist. Who knows if this woman is also from Africa, or plans to visit sometime soon, but whenever she is in town, the locals will likely be impressed by her love and devotion for their homeland. Let’s just hope she slathers on a heaping helping of high SPF sunscreen as to keep her tattoo looking sharp and her skin protected. In fact, a nice T-shirt to cover the whole thing up may be a wise choice. Loving Africa is wonderful, but there are surely better ways to profess it.
10. The Price is Wrong
Celebrity host with the most, Bob Barker, may no longer be the current star of The Price is Right, but his memory will never fade, thanks to this unflattering tattoo etched onto the arm of a woman who may just be his biggest (and craziest) fan. This woman may have never been so lucky as to have been a contestant on the ridiculously ever-lasting popular game show, but she must feel like the big winner since she gets to spend her life walking around with the portrait of a geriatric man on her upper arm. Barker’s famous calling, “Come on down,” is a nice touch to add to the tattoo, in case passers-by may have thought the tat was of her grandpa and not a famous gent like Barker. Let’s hope this gal gets some Drew Carey ink next. Could there be two hotter or sexier men to get permanently drawn on one’s body? I think not.
9. Botched Bieber
Let’s assume this is the leg of a woman, since the majority of “Beliebers” are, and move on from there. This version of the hit-maker is not only an insult to the otherwise good-looking young man, but with his current haircut, it’s now seriously outdated. Sure, Justin Bieber has all sorts of fanatic lunatics who adore his every move who’d do anything for the singer, but to permanently ink his face on one’s body is a sign of psychological issues. Not to mention, there will come a day when “The Biebs” is old and grey, so this tattoo of his more youthful appearance will seem like a lifetime ago. Plus, what would Selena Gomez think of another woman having her ex so close, all day, every day? Ladies, buy the albums, download the singles, and get the most expensive concert tickets. That’s all the love you need to show to your favorite pop tart of the moment.
8. Not One to Bring Home to Meet the Parents
This gal surely wanted to make some major changes to her natural looks. Not only is the tattoo work intricate and imaginative, but the piercings are enough to set off all the metal detectors at an international airport. With ink creeping from the back of her head to around her eye and all the way down her neck, this woman is surely no wall flower. She seems pretty pleased with the ink job, so who’s to judge, but when small children and puppies run and hide, she may have some regrets about her choices. The pink hair balances out the look with a pop of bright color to offset the blacks and greys of the tattoo, so at least this woman had fine art in mind. Can’t wait to see this look in 50 years from now when the force of gravity changes the landscape of this gal’s falling face.
7. Brows that (Don’t) Wow
Some women tend to over-pluck their eyebrows, causing the hair to thin out and even eventually stop growing back completely. These gals usually pencil them back in with eyebrow makeup for a natural look that flatters and frames their face. Then there is the rare bird who would rather get permanent ink tattooed onto her brow region in the form of poorly-drawn stems, leaves, and flowers, making her look like the third wheel to Adam and Eve’s love story. If you are going to go as far as to ink foliage in place of follicles, at least get the work done by someone with a tidbit of artistic knowhow and a smidge of talent. It is nice to allow young children to have the chance to express their inner budding artists, but give them a pencil and a sheet of drawing paper, not a tattoo gun and your delicate skin.
6. Damn Andy
We do not know what Andy did to piss off this woman so badly, but he will now get the big “Screw You” from her for all eternity. That is if this seriously scorned woman is still allowing Andy to see her naked back. It just goes to show you, permanently inking a lover’s name onto your body is a big mistake, as you never know how the relationship will run its course. Why not change “Andy” to “Candy” and have a sweet cover-up for a relationship gone sour? But then again, we are assuming this woman is thinking with more than a handful of brain cells. “Dandy” would have worked too, but “Screw You” is so much more feminine. For those people stuck behind this gal at the beach, they will surely feel a little insecure as to why she hates them so much. But there’s the small chance it’ll be Andy, so the whole process was obviously worth the pain.
5. Alien Invasion
No, you are not hallucinating. This is, in fact, a human woman, and she has turned her face and body into something of fantasy film. From piercings to tooth manipulation to implants, this lady really wanted to tell Mother Nature to “F” off. She is nearly completely covered in tattoos, and even her own mother probably doesn’t recognize her (and likely doesn’t want to). And if you don’t like what she has done with her look, she will surely bite you with those sharp fangs. She must have quite the savings in order to fund her ink habit, but then again, eventually she will run out of bare skin and have to call her “piece” complete. Let’s hope this woman actually works in a tattoo parlor, because it is safe to say the local nursery school won’t be hiring her any time soon. Kids are visually stimulated, but this is taking things way too far.
4. Oh My Stars!
There is nothing more relaxing than looking up into a moonlit sky at night and seeing the stars and constellations all aglow. And there is nothing more frightening than looking at your friend and seeing a cluster of hideous black stars etched all over the side of her face. This chick must have her mind in outer space to think this ink job is worth a gold star. Perhaps in this pic she is on the phone with her psychic who should have read her stars before she got them drawn on permanently. Then she may have made a more appealing decision – like not getting this work done at all. Not everyone can become a star, but you can always incorporate them onto your face. Take that Beyonce! The only way this would be semi-cool would be if she glows under a black light. Otherwise, we want to shut the lights completely so we don’t have to see this sorry starry mess any longer.
3. Bloomin’ Armpit
I mean, who doesn’t want a tattoo of an onion smack in the center of their armpit? Seems like a logical tattoo choice, no? Perhaps this woman’s armpit was not quite smelly enough for her, so she opted for the allusion of a deeper aroma by getting a ripe red onion etched onto her underarm. Even a nice green head of lettuce or an ear of fresh corn would have been a more appealing choice than an odd image of a stinky onion. But perhaps this creative gal is a big fan of the veggie and could find no better way to sing its praises than to have one permanently drawn onto her body, in her armpit, no less. When her armpit hair grows in (and it will), this tat must be a real turn on. Remind me to eliminate onions from my diet pronto, because the thought of eating them really stinks.
It must be good to be the boss, that way none of your underlings can criticize your lack of spelling prowess. Hopefully the male boss got better grades in school or at least passed the first round of the second grade spelling bee. Not only is it a shame this grammatically-challenged gal cannot spell her own gender properly, but the doofus tattoo artist was no Einstein either. At least the boss can hide her misspelled tat under a long-sleeved top, but she seems awfully proud of her status as the woman in charge. To have finally broken that glass ceiling only to ruin things with a tragic tattoo is not only bad for this woman, but for her entire sex. If this is the best that the female boss can offer, perhaps she ought to be demoted. Not everyone is cut out to be at the top of the corporate ladder.
1. Bloody Bite
As scary and odd as it is, this tat is actually pretty frighteningly awesome. It is quite realistic looking and hard to look away from. Of course, this inked up woman will scare away basically everyone, but at the very least she can say she has a pretty amazing and creative tattoo. The blood drips onto her collarbone just so, and her long neck is the perfect canvas for this wicked work of bloody art. And if she needs to appear more conservative for a trip to Grandma’s or a baby shower, a nice turtleneck from J. Crew always does the trick. Perhaps one day, as she ages, this tat will sag and will look more closed-lipped or even like a frown. That is only if she doesn’t get bitten by her own design… it is pretty freaky. Like in many horror films, this gal could be eaten alive by her own neck.