“NSFW” means “Not Safe For Work.” But it should also mean “No Sanity, Filth Wins.” The images contained under this tag are nasty, and will most probably make you lose faith in the human race. Our entire species is a majority of idiots. The degenerates always outnumber the civilized, and here’s proof.
Some people are so gross that it’s truly reprehensible. The filth on the internet is vast and embedded, and it will never, ever come clean. You have just clicked on a list that contains some offensive images, but this is just the tip of the iceberg. This list is child’s play compared to some of the stuff out there. If you find anything worse than this, you won’t feel good about yourself for a week.
On the other hand, photography is a god. It does not judge. It only observes and reflects every truth that ever was. The internet is the ultimate mirror. What we see may be appalling to some, but to others may be inspirational. Either way, there’s no denying that this crazy stuff is all “real” and defines us as human beings.
So, how brave are you feeling today? Ready for something that may anger you, blow your mind, or make you want to barf? Well, we hope this list isn’t too awful. It has a bit of everything. Some entries are even so odd it’s hilarious.
15. Splish Splash
So what is going on in this shot? Any guess? Scratch that. Sometimes, guessing with these types of photos can make everything even worse. We’ll just tell ya. This is a perfectly-timed photo taken during childbirth. It appears as though the woman is in a position, known in the medical world, as “doggy style.” The good old doctor is looking comfortable sitting there, isn’t he? You can tell he’s been working this job for a while now, and he’s pretty bored. This guy is also old school and totally unfazed. He is about to be splashed in the face with the biggest onslaught of bodily fluid that can possibly in a totally uncomfortable position yet there he is, seemingly unfazed by it. The black and white makes it even grosser, right? Or maybe we don’t want to know the color of that fluid.
14. Ready For A Close Up
Microscopic images have come a long way. I remember looking at amoebae in 9th grade biology and thinking, “wow, there’s a whole new world just right underneath my nose.” Well, scientists don’t just look at pond samples under the microscope. They also look at tongues, grapefruits, and in this case, a human v*gina. Yes, this is a lady’s best-kept secret—the coveted and ever-inspiring goal of every straight male in the universe. So let this image dispel some of the mystery. The act of intercourse feels great because of a simple scientific characteristic called the “surface area.” Here, we have an army of these tiny teardrop skin sacks that act like ticklers. These microscopic things are what easily excite both men and women for centuries.
13. Insane Tattoo
This is one of the craziest tattoos ever. What the hell is going on here? It seems as though a horse is being serviced by an unclothed woman. And just why exactly would you want to have this image preserved on your body for the rest of your life? Perhaps the owner lost a bet. But in that case, whoever won the bet should have relented. Make the loser buy you a pizza or something instead. Or choose a different tattoo. Maybe something safe like a butterfly tramp stamp, or some barbed wire tat. This is a bad tattoo, and it’s going to be a tough one to explain to the kids someday. Just save that conversation until after the “My Little Pony” stage is over.
12. Super Sized
This dude is huge, we get it. This picture makes me sick. It also makes me sad, and worried about his health. Is this man still alive? Let’s hope this was the before picture, and then he went on The Biggest Loser and shed 250 pounds. Otherwise, the chances of this guy being happy are very slim. Let’s take a closer look at this shot if we dare, and check out the tiny details. The first thing that caught my eye is his remote control. Thank goodness he has that, because it seems like he must have difficulty standing or walking. That is really upsetting me. Are those diapers on that table? Oh, and he appears to be smoking a cigarette. At this point, why not? Enjoy it. That heart will fail long before the lungs turn black.
11. Fashion Faux Pas
Okay, Walmart, the term is actually referred to as a “fist bump”, NOT fisting. Fisting is something entirely different altogether. Fisting, if you didn’t know, is the slang term for an act that involves…nope, I’m gonna stop right there. I’m ashamed that I even know what the term means. But you know it too, don’t you? We all probably do, and it sounds painful. Whoever made this shirt obviously does not speak English very well, or that person would’ve known the term too. Or maybe they can speak English, but they live somewhere remote that they have no grasp of reality. I’m sure whoever hung that shirt on the rack knew. And they were laughing so hard. But they hate their job and couldn’t wait to post this image on social media.
10. Weirdest Mechanic Ever
Not sure who decided that this was a good idea. I’ve heard of extreme piercings, but come on, man! This shot is taken from a piercing festival in Phuket, Thailand. And that’s what I would say about slicing a giant hole in my cheek—Phuket! The weird thing is, this is a vegetarian festival as well. So it’s not okay to touch animals, but it’s just fine to torture humans. I am failing to see the logic here. But that’s just it. Logic and NSFW stuff are total opposites. There is no logic, class, or rationality involved at all. This stuff is nuts. I’m just wondering what this dude looks like after he pulls out the wrenches. And does he give them back to the mechanic when he’s done? Or does he wipe them off real quick, find the receipt, and take them back to Home Depot.
9. Explicit Art
This looks like one of the least shocking pictures on the list so far, but wait ’til you hear what it is. No, it’s not a Rorschach ink blot test or a priceless work of art by Jackson Pollock. However, if you combine those two ideas, and add a v*gina, you’re getting close. There is a Swiss female artist named Milo Moiré, who got entirely naked in front of a crowd outside the Cologne Art Museum in Germany back in 2014. She set up some portable scaffolds, and placed a canvas across the floor. Then she inserted paint-filled eggs into her v*gina. She stood, spread-legged across the scaffolding, and flexed some muscles until the eggs dropped, several feet, onto the canvas below. Four or five eggs later, and she climbed down, folded the canvas in half and pressed it together with a paint roller. Unfold that canvas, and voila! Modern art. Did I mention this woman is hot? No joke. Check out her Instagram.
8. The Shocker
Well if Milo Moiré claims her art is feminism, then this guy probably said his tattoo was a gift for his girlfriend’s birthday. These are some seriously delusional people we are dealing with here. This guy obviously wins some type of award for “douchebag” of the year. If you’ve ever been to a frat house, or watched one on film, you may have heard the words on his tattoo. That doesn’t mean you go out and get ink done. What kind of jobs can this guy get now? Definitely not retail, or food service. The fault in my argument is that there are some well-paying jobs with gloves involved. Take for instance a dentist, or a surgeon. Wouldn’t that be scary if this guy sliced you open? Nah, no worries, this guy’s too dumb. There are other jobs with gloves that he can fill, like a garbage man.
7. Childcare Fail
This may be one of the saddest pics on the list so far. It’s even sadder than the super fat dude. Here is a baby who has no control over what she can do. All of her being, her entire life, is literally in the hands of an adult. And here, this baby is taking a giant bong rip. Well, she’s probably doing a Bill Clinton, and not inhaling, but the fact that she is even in the same room as the paraphernalia is a bad beginning to a delinquent life. Let’s just hope that this isn’t the mother. I know it says “my baby” but let’s hope it’s a baby sitter that can be fired when the pic hits social media. Or maybe it’s an older sister who gets grounded. If this is the mom, she obviously wasn’t ready for kids. Hopefully she saw this image, realized how stupid she was, and quickly changed her ways.
6. Piercing Exhibitionist
So, if you were wondering what may happen to the adorable little misguided baby in that last picture, this may be a pretty reasonable guess. This is a piercing exhibit at an art museum in Los Angeles. Again, “art” is the reason for some seriously NSFW sh!t going down. I’m not even going to try and comprehend what that contraption on her face is for. I will also refrain from describing what is going on with the lower half of her body. That part was cropped off for a reason. Even if you like the pierced look, this girl went way overboard. Holes everywhere! Maybe it’s the body paint that makes it all look that much worse. I thought strippers had mental trauma, but this girl is beyond that. She’s one serious masochist.
5. Wishful Thinking
Compared to that last creepy one, this is just straight up hilarious. What is this guy thinking? Well, I know what he’s thinking. Every guy has thought it. Some dudes even enjoy playing with their nipples, and maybe even pretending that they are the nipples of a beautiful dream woman. But that’s some dudes. Most dudes are like, uh, no way. What worries me is what is going on below the waste with this guy. Where are his hands right now? This image seems to be a screengrab from a Skype session or a Facetime call. Is he talking to someone else who also has an anime seductress sketched upon their chest? Or maybe he’s talking to his girlfriend who has a anime man drawn across her breasts. I’m just hoping it’s a Sharpie and not a tattoo.
4. Life Of The Party
Oh, lord. This looks like a wedding reception that got out of control, especially for one of the crazy aunts. You know the crazy aunt. Every family has one. And a drunk uncle too. What is sad is the expression on the face of her daughter/niece. That young lady is proud to be pictured with her loved one, and that woman is totally hammered. What did she do, pee herself? Whatever happened, the woman is totally oblivious to the fact. Either that or she is just rolling with it, and doesn’t give an “F” about it. Another shot of tequila for the crazy blonde over there. The creepy thing about this image is the dude with the orange shirt in the background. He’s checking out old girl, and he looks pretty drunk himself. Let’s hope they are husband and wife, and the wedding has renewed that romantic feeling that has been on the back burner for far too long.
3. Silly Grandma
Have you ever been to Mardi Gras? If you have, this is what you see. No kidding. There are a ton of boobs at that party, but the biggest attraction on Bourbon Street is also its greatest weakness. Just like idiots in the intro, the bad outnumbers the good. But enough about Mardi Gras, this is somebody’s kitchen. Maybe it’s Christmas or Thanksgiving, and the family is getting together to have a few laughs and probably a few cocktails too. Then somebody gets out a board game. Yes, I’m blaming this one on board games. People just couldn’t be satisfied with classics like Monopoly or Life. Oh, no, way too boring. The board game folks just had to incorporate crap like “Truth or Dare” into the mix, and now we’re looking at grandma’s cans.
2. Banana Hammock
Do you ever go to the beach and see that old couple sitting there? They’ve got the radio going, and they brought their own lawn chairs. They are sitting there when you arrive, and they are still there when you leave. It looks like they haven’t moved the entire time. Their skin is so leathery that they barely seem human. Those are the people who always wear the skimpiest bathing suits. Sun worshipers, that’s what they are. Here’s a picture of a sun worshiper in a banana hammock…a neon one, the best color of all. Looks like there are some dumbbells there like the dude has been working out with. And his tattoo looks like he may have gotten it back in the service. What an honor to serve his country. But there is no honor in this pic. Put some clothes on, grandpa. Give up the game, bro. Thank goodness we can’t see his thong from this angle.
1. Selfie Clutter
This girl is doing everything just right. She has a great dress on. It looks new, and it compliments her figure. Armpits look clean. Tasteful amount of cleavage is showing. Seems like she’s getting ready for a hot date. That’s a nice camera too. It surely takes way better pics than these damn smartphones. Her shower and bathtub look pretty clean. Sometimes you see these selfies and the background is a mess. But there is just a little bit of clutter in this shot. Let’s see, there’s some toothpaste. That’s good. She doesn’t want cavities. Then there’s what looks like a bottle of vitamins. Another plus. She wants to stay healthy. There’s a watch there too. I like watches. They’re old-fashioned like her camera. And they provide an aesthetic that smartphones just can’t match. Then there’s an orange plastic thingy. Hmm, what is that? Wait a minute, I know what that is. Well, good for her. Sometimes it’s a great idea to get one off before going on a date. That way you’re not so nervous.