We all get old. It’s just a fact of life. It’s also a fact of life that as we age, our visual appearance tends to become less aesthetically pleasing. Sure, some people peak at 18 while others peak at 38, but almost everyone can agree nobody peaks at 68. Beauty is a young person’s game. But, for the average looking person, the decline is expected and doesn’t come with gasps because they were average looking to begin with.
Even super hot women get old. Often, they’ll go from being super hot, to hot, to good looking to OK and then they die. Sometimes though, they go from super hot, to OK, to horrible in the space of 10 years. Then they’re just stuck waiting to die as an ugly person. Perhaps ugly is a strong word. They become less-than-average and for those of us who are average, it’s shocking to see someone who was once so good looking now worse than what we see in the mirror.
Over the last 60 years, the best collection of hot women has undoubtedly been Playboy magazine. Whether it was 1958, 1978 or 2008, the magazine kept a commitment to presenting “The Girl Next Door” even though we never lived in the neighborhoods they went scouting in. While Playboy was a one-off opportunity for many women, there is a majority that tried to parlay their Playboy fame into larger careers.
The ones who didn’t get those better careers can consider themselves lucky. If they happen to not be aging well, at least they’re doing it in private. The unlucky ones are the ladies who worked hard to build a career based on their looks only to have their looks vanish…and not just vanish, in some cases it looks like their faces or bodies attacked them. Here’s some proof. Enjoy our list of 15 Playmates Who Didn’t Age Well.
15. Shannon Tweed
Yup, Mrs. Gene Simmons. Despite his well-known womanizing ways, Shannon Tweed has been with the Kiss guitarist for over 30 years now, having finally got married toward the end of the run of their reality show… one of the dullest ever created. The Osbournes they were not. Tweed’s first appearance in Playboy was November 1981 and she won Playmate of the Year honors in 1982. She was introduced to Playboy after a TV show in Canada, where she’s from, helped introduce her to the magazine. She became a minor celebrity following her appearance, having done about 15 guest spots on various television shows. She made more of a name appearing in the super softcore movies shown on HBO and Cinemax late at night with cheesy titles like Naked Lies, Victim of Desire, Night Rhythms and (our all-time favorite) Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. She’s pushing 60 these days and has mostly kept out of the spotlight since the end of the reality show Family Jewels.
14. Jenny McCarthy
There was a small window of time when it looked like Jenny McCarthy was going to be the most famous Playmate ever. She was Miss October 1993 and landed Playmate of the Year honors in 1994 and the small jobs started steadily coming in, like guest spots on shows Wings and Baywatch. She was picked to be Chris Hardwick’s hot-yet-wiseass sidekick on MTV’s huge hit Singled Out and nabbed the job as Candie’s print and TV model. This lead to parts in movies like BASEketball and Scream 3. Then somebody had the bright idea she could carry a show by herself and The Jenny McCarthy Show on MTV was born. It was short-lived because some other genius gave her Jenny, her own primetime NBC show. It was so bad that of the seventeen episodes filmed, only 10 ever made it to air. In the 15 or so years since it’s been mainly gigs appearing as herself, most recently on two reality shows for A&E. She’s also stirred up a lot of controversy about her statements on autism and vaccinations.
13. Kathy Shower
When Kathy Shower debuted in Playboy Magazine as Miss May 1985, she was the oldest woman to serve as a Playmate at 33. That didn’t stop her from landing 1986 Playmate of the Year Honors. She tried her hand at mainstream Hollywood, landing guest spots on TV shows like Knight Rider and Three’s Company, with her biggest gig being a year-long recurring character on the soap opera Santa Barbara. Her film career stalled quickly and she went the Shannon Tweed route, making such super softcore adult movies as Boundaries, LA Goddess, The Further Adventures of Tennessee Buck and Velvet Dreams. None were nominated for Academy Awards. Shower regularly attends Playmate conventions since walking away from Hollywood, although she did star in a documentary in 2009 called Kathy Shower: Playmate Model Mom.
12. Pamela Anderson
Pamela Anderson doesn’t look terrible considering the life she’s led, but you can’t look good when your love life consists of Tommy Lee, whom she claimed gave her Hepatitis C, Bret Michaels, Kid Rock and Rick Solomon. There’s just not coming back physically or mentally from being with those men. Anderson was beautiful when discovered at a Canadian football game and quickly did Playboy thereafter, becoming the magazine’s February 1990 Playmate of the Month (can you believe it’s been over 25 years?!) but didn’t nab the Playmate of the Year honors. Like Erika Eleniak, the next big stop (assuming you don’t count her sex tape with the well-endowed Tommy Lee) was Baywatch. Anderson had her sights on the big screen after her action film Barb Wire failed, but she wasn’t finding many roles. To her credit, she now spends a lot of time working on causes like animal rights and AIDS awareness. Despite saying she sometimes regrets having posed, she was in the last issue to feature nudity.
11. Anna Sophia Berglund
Fall in with the wrong crowd, become one in the long list of Hugh Hefner’s fembot-like girlfriends, party a little too much and you’ll quickly look like just any other puffy former model who almost had an acting career. Such is the case for Anna Sophia Berglund, who was Playmate of the Month for January 2011. Prior to taking it off, which we did appreciate at the time, for the pages of Playboy, Berglund was building a nice little acting resume, having made guest appearances on shows like Cavemen, Desperate Housewives and Hannah Montana. Then, she took her detour in the world of Playboy and never quite recovered. First was the appearance on the reality show The Girls Next Door. Hefner’s girlfriend transition wasn’t something people wanted to watch so that failed. Then she appeared in movies you’ve never such as Party Like the Queen of France in 2012 or as “Space Angel” in 2014’s Space Station 76. It’s probably too late to rebound at this point since VH-1 stopped making Celebrity Fit Club.
10. India Allen
If you’re looking for interesting things about India Allen, you’re pumping a bit of a dry well, although the woman who was Miss December 1987 and Playmate of the year for 1988 did testify at the OJ Simpson trial. She told the jury that she had seen Simpson hit his wife in 1983 when Allen was employed at a veterinary hospital in Beverly Hills. She didn’t do too much in the late 1980s or early 1990s, although she did marry sportscaster Bill Macatee. Allen made a run at being an actress around this time, but like so many beautiful models who aren’t exactly the finest thespians, her work consisted mainly of roles where her breasts could be featured, such as in epics like Silk Degrees, Seduce Me: Pamela Principle 2 and Wild Cactus, all made between 1992 and 1994. She largely stays out the spotlight these days except for showing up at the occasional Playboy convention.
9. Shauna Sand
You know things aren’t going well in the career department when the last time you were on television was on the show Botched, featuring horrible plastic surgery results, but such is the fate of the once-beautiful Shauna Sand. After teen years as a model and ballet dancer, she got a degree in international business from The American University of Paris and upon returning to the United States was picked to be Playboy’s Miss May 1996 and landed a recurring role on the television show Renegade. It was here that she met Lorenzo Lamas, who soon became her husband and father to her three kids. They divorced just as Lamas landed a short-lived reality series of E!, called Leave it to Lamas, but aside from a brief guest shot, she didn’t have anything to do with the show. Because of her French language ability she starred on a TV show created by a French station, but shot in the US from 2012-2014. She may have also been hiding out overseas because a sex tape was released from earlier in her life. Thankfully it wasn’t post plastic surgery.
8. Kendra Wilkinson
Whether you thought Kendra Wilkinson was a moronic gold digger or a sweetheart who simply hit the fame jackpot, there’s no denying there was a stretch of several years where you couldn’t turn on a celebrity gossip show or pick-up a tabloid and not see this blonde beauty. She never actually served as a Playmate, gaining her Playboy stripes as one of Hugh Hefner’s three girlfriends and cashing in on the reality show craze by starring in The Girls Next Door. Wilkinson and Hef’s other two girlfriends at the time had their lives shot to show just how normal, yet glamorous their lives were. This led to more appearances in the magazine and, after breaking up with Hefner, a couple of more reality shows alongside her husband, former Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver, Hank Baskett. Now going as Kendra Baskett, she’s still seen on TV in Kendra on Top on WE TV.
7. Patti McGuire
Patti McGuire, Playboy magazine’s Miss November 1976 and the 1977 Playmate of the Year, is known by most people as Mrs. Jimmy Connors after marrying the tennis Hall of Famer in 1979. She doesn’t look horrible considering her age, the fact she’s had two kids and that she had to keep up with one of tennis’ all time great egotists for so many years, but if you ran into her at the supermarket and somebody told you she was a Playmate of the Year, would you believe them? Of course not. She actually seems like a pretty cool lady and keeps her Twitter updated more often than most teenage girls. She’s very into animal rights, bashing Donald Trump and posting photos of her family over the last 40 years. In his autobiography from 2013, Jimmy Connors admits that early in their marriage, he cheated on Patti, but once she started divorce proceedings, he begged for her forgiveness and never strayed again, no matter how hard it was to stay the course. Seems like it would have been easy then and much harder now, but that’s just us.
6. Pat Russo
Maybe we’re just including this entry out of spite, but we were shocked and appalled when reading an article recently where Miss November 1965 said she was happy Playboy was getting rid of nudity recently. She told a website: “Today’s Playboy was just nasty, women sitting with their crotches open to the camera. That’s totally disgusting. You can’t call it anything but pornography. It’s not artistic. Today it reveals a whole different way of looking at women that is not particularly flattering.” She kind of sounds like a grandmother who is always thinking things were better “back in my day.” Russo became a Playmate when she applied for a job at a Playboy Club in Florida, but didn’t get the bunny gig there. Instead, some of the people who also worked for the magazine gave her an offer to pose. After her Playboy days, she worked as a mental health counselor and teacher. She may not like the way the magazine looked before it banned nudity, but she has no trouble making a buck, selling autographed photos on eBay.
5. Victoria Valentino
Here’s another old-school Playmate that returned to the news in 2014, as one of Bill Cosby’s many alleged victims of sexual escapes. Miss September 1963 alleged that Cosby drugged and raped her in 1970, not long after she lost a young son in a drowning accident. She told the Washington Post that Cosby met her following the death of her son and made it his mission to cheer her up. She and a roommate went to Cosby’s apartment where she said Cosby drugged them with pills. She said she saw that he was going to have sex with her roommate, who had passed out because of the drugs and when she tried to stop him, he forced himself on her. She said that she never came forward at the time because she felt like she wouldn’t have credibility. She ended up being the 16th woman to come forward in 2014 to accuse Cosby of wrongdoing. While Valentino couldn’t do anything about it legally at this point because of statute of limitations, Cosby is currently in court stemming from charges on a different case.
4. Erika Eleniak
Erika Eleniak looked like she was going to have a decent career in Hollywood. Her debut was as the girl Elliot had a crush on in ET: The Extra-Terrestrial and was doing straight-to-video movies at 19 when she landed a gig to be Miss July 1989 for Playboy. That year, she had a recurring role as Scott Baio’s girlfriend on Charles in Charge and did a guest spot on Full House. Her biggest claim to fame, getting a starring role on Baywatch also happened in 1989. She stayed with the show for three years before setting her sights on movies. Any shot of being an A-lister died when she jumped out of a cake topless in a Steven Seagal film. You just don’t come back from that. She’s done a bunch of cheesy woman-in-peril or woman-looking-for-love movies for stations like Lifetime and Hallmark Channel. The lowest point of her career was probably appearing in the 2006 season of VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club after gaining quite a few pounds.
3. Claire Sinclair
We’d never try to claim that Claire Sinclair, Miss October 2010 and the 2011 Playmate of the Year doesn’t still look good…for a normal woman, there’s been quite a decline in the half-decade since she was the sixth-to-last PMOY crowned by the magazine. Frankly, there are some who were in the magazine ten years before her who still look better. If you look at her name, you’d think, “What woman would name her child Claire if her last name is Sinclair?” but she was actually named Claire Riccio at birth and apparently decided a rhyming name was best for a sexy woman, even though we think her originally Italian name is way hotter. Since she took her clothes off for Playboy she’s been starring in one of those high-end showgirls shows in Las Vegas, but since it as the Stratosphere and not of the good hotels, it shows you exactly how quickly Sinclair has become a second tier pin-up.
2. Liz Glazowski
One of the main ways of staying at all relevant for former Playboy Playmates who didn’t go on to bigger things is to appear at Playboy conventions, other pin-up conventions (Glamourcon is the most well known) and sell autographed photos on the Internet. All three are true for Miss April 1980, Liz Glazowski. It must be a little challenging signing autographs next to girls half her age who still look great, but hey, if it pays the bills. Speaking of paying the bills, Glazowski seemed to be interested in a career in movies for a minute. The one movie on her resume is “The Happy Hooker Goes Hollywood.” We’ve never seen it, but it sounds like a Best Picture candidate. Glazowski was discovered by the magazine when they went across the country during their 25th Anniversary Great Playmate Hunt search. She wasn’t the ultimate one, but still got an offer to pose.
1. Angela Dorion
There are probably plenty of guys who think that if they marry a former Playmate, their wife will obviously age, but since she’s so hot as a young woman, she’ll melt into being a senior much better than most of her contemporaries. That’s probably what Bruce Rathgeb thought when he married Victoria Vetri, better known to Playboy fans as Angela Dorion, the 1968 Playmate of the Year and Miss September 1967. At the time, Dorion had largely ended her minor career in Hollywood, but still looked pretty nice. She lived life full-time as Victoria Rathgeb moving forward and stayed out of the spotlight until 2010, when stuff got bad…fast. She was charged with the attempted murder of her husband, shooting him at close range at their Los Angeles apartment October 2010. She was held on bail for $1.5 million, but in January 2011 pled no contest to a charge of attempted voluntary manslaughter. She was sentenced to nine years in state prison. The moral? Playmates are not all like fine wine. Many don’t age well. Some are downright rotten.
Sources: wikipedia.org, playboy.com, nj.com