Ah, the beach. It is the favorite place for most people in this world, and why not? The ocean waves and the tide coming in provide soothing sounds and beautiful views that we long for all year round. The salt in the air and the gentle sea breeze lure us in and make us want to spend our entire lives there. In fact, some people who are fortunate and wealthy enough have purchased homes right on the beach so that they can live this fantasy day after day. You know how great the beach is, so why wouldn’t celebs feel the same way? Celebrities love to go to the beach, and their vacations usually involve visiting some of the most pristine places on earth, such as Mexico, Greece, and the tropical Caribbean islands. Yet celebs have to deal with prying cameras and fans, and the paparazzi is notorious for snapping some of the most unflattering beach pics of famous people. So here is a round-up with our list of 15 Embarrassing Celebrity Beach Fails Caught on Camera.
We have compiled here instances of celebrities wearing the wrong beach wear, trying to be coy and smooth, and taking to the waves in the most unflattering manner. From boogie boards to stealthy butt squeezes and the worst bikini bodies in Hollywood, we have a list here that will make you cringe or cover your eyes. We don’t mean to offend, but celebrities know by now that going to the beach is just about a no-no for any celeb who wants to be safe from criticism and public scrutiny. So here we have it: embarrassing pictures of famous people hitting the waves, the sand, or their expensive yachts.
15. Rod Stewart
There is nothing stopping a 71-year-old man from hitting the beach. Unless you know, he is ill or too old to function. But that was not the case with singer Rod Stewart. He spent his vacation trying his hand at boogie boarding. However, the ensuing photographs were…not that enjoyable to look at. First of all, Rod Stewart looks seriously weird when he is not all made up and patted down with foundation. His face looked gaunt and tired, which added even more years to his appearance. Secondly, his body is not very suitable to bounding on a boogie board, but he tried it anyway. Lastly, why, oh why, Rod Stewart, did you opt for a baby blue speedo when trying to get your boogie on? Please, don’t do this again! It will save you the embarrassment and the rest of us the heebie-jeebies. Sadly, we’ll see more seniors in speedos on this list.
14. Duchess of Alba
We don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, considering that the Duchess of Alba passed away in 2014 at the ripe old age of 88. Still, we think that her beach photo in the waves is embarrassingly cute. That is why we have included it on our list here. The Duchess was accompanied by some family members as she frolicked through the shallow ocean water. She was decked out in a bright floral bikini, and it was both endearing and strange. She also had paired her swimsuit with a pair of rectangular hot pink sunglasses, and her white curly hair was pulled back in a ponytail. You can see how this image would be a departure from the usual Royal photos we saw of the Duchess. And more power to her for flaunting it in the waves and having fun at a public beach. She doesn’t look particularly happy in this photo, but we hope that she enjoyed herself. It was obvious she was ancient, but we can appreciate her spirit.
13. Paul McCartney
74 years old and still kicking! That is Paul McCartney for ya, and we’re glad that the Beatle is still alive and doing well. We have already lost George Harrison and John Lennon; Paul and Ringo are our only hopes now! Of course The Beatles’ records and albums will live on way past them, but it’s nice to have some of them still living in the flesh. Even if their flesh is now old, pasty and sagging to the floor. This image of Paul shows him frolicking in the waves. He looks so happy, and we don’t want to burst his bubble! But the truth is that there is something downright creepy about this picture. It could be that Paul is poised in a way that reminds us of a little girl screeching with joy. It could also be that his man boobs are bouncing around as he dances in the sand. It could also be that we have a permanent image of the British man buttoned up in a dapper suit.
12. Steven Tyler
Steven Tyler is scary when he is fully clothed, so you can imagine how he looks on the beach. The 68-year-old Aerosmith frontman was photographed while on vacation, and he was sporting some bright red swim trunks (way to be inconspicuous) as well as his iconic long brown hair. His hair was damp and scraggly, making him look sort of like a woman, except for the fact that he was shirtless. As for that, his man boobs are apparent, and he isn’t as thin and sinewy as he once was. We will give him credit for not falling into the beer belly old man trap though! Yet we would highly prefer that Tyler keep his shirt on when the paparazzi are near. Of course, that is easier said than done, since celebrities are pretty much stalked any time they leave their home. It’s a tough life, man….it’s a tough life.
11. Kelsey Grammer
Wife number four for actor Kelsey Grammer is Kayte Walsh, who is hopefully his last main squeeze. Speaking of squeezing, there is a lot of that going on in this beach photo of Grammer and his wife. The results? Seriously creepy older man attack! The actor is leaning over his wife, who is lying on her belly on a yacht. Grammer is also squeezing her upper thigh, which we guess is okay since they’re married and all, but it is not okay in the fact that they are in public in broad daylight. There could be children there, man! Grammer’s wife looks fine, but he himself is looking old and tired. His old man body is full of dimples and folds and creases and … ew. We don’t mean to rag on the old guy, but after spending decades in the Hollywood entertainment industry, he knows by now that beach photos are going to be scrutinized.
10. Janice Dickinson
Janice, we are begging you, BEGGING YOU, to stop trying to fit in with the young guns. At 61 years of age, you are no longer the hot model that you once were. We will give you the credit for being one of the first commercially successful supermodels ever, but hey, there comes a time when even the greats need to take a step back and make room for new people. Janice just doesn’t seem to understand that though. Whether she is making appearances on reality TV shows, going under the knife yet again for plastic surgery, or wearing clothing that is not appropriate for her age, Janice is trying way too hard. This image shows Janice taking to the beach in a – thankfully – one-piece swimsuit scattered with floral prints. Her skin is pastier, things are sagging a bit more, and there is (gasp!) cellulite there. Oh, the horror! Poor Janice would never want this image to be posted to the public, because God forbid she was aging.
Kesha, what are you doing in this photo? The singer walked along the sandy beaches while showing off … black Granny panties. That’s right, the young singer was flaunting her bod in some dumpy beach attire that really made her look frumpier than she really is. Sure, the 29-year-old is not the rail-thin, cheeky teenager she once was, but she has a womanly figure and she has been on the down-low for quite some time now. This image shows us that she has just been lying low, but she is not out of the game. However, the severely unflattering photo really makes Kesha look tired and old. It is an embarrassing photo that the singer would probably rather not see (and not have plastered over the tabloid magazines.) This image is bound to be accompanied alongside text such as “singer puts on 50 pounds!” Yes, we agree that this photo is…not too pretty, but give her a break.
8. Michelle Rodriguez
A true Texas girl, Michelle Rodriguez didn’t hold back from adventure while going on a beach trip. The paparazzi were there to chronicle every moment of Michelle’s tropical activities, which included climbing up a rope ladder to the top of a beach cliff. Dangerous?Maybe, but hey, she is a native Texan, and they are known for their grit, right?Right? Anyway, one photographer was quite cheeky and took a photograph of Michelle as her bikini bottoms were sliding down her booty. The result is a crack shot, very subtle, but you’ll notice it straight away. This could be embarrassing, or it could be an example of how the actress keeps herself in shape. We’ll leave that for you to decide. In any case, Michelle is pretty good at staying in shape, and her 2017 is going to be filled with on-set adventures as she films the movie The Fate of the Furious.
7. Serena Williams
Serena, we’re sorry you get so much negative press. People are just jealous that you’re a kickass, independent woman who is not afraid to be herself and smash it! The 35-year-old professional tennis player has been Number One in the standings on six separate occasions, and for good reason. Have you seen the way she serves the tennis ball to her opponent? She is basically unstoppable on the tennis court, and everyone knows it. They also know that she is super strong and athletic, and that explains her physique: very toned and muscular, as well as thicker than the average woman. That leads many to rag on her appearance, but you know what? Haters gon’ hate. Serena was spotlighted in this beach photo for picking at her wedgie, because no one has ever done that before! Even so, it is downright embarrassing and laughable. Sorry Serena, but you make it to our list.
6. Dog the Bounty Hunter
In case you didn’t know (and God bless you if you don’t,) Dog the Bounty Hunter is Duane “Dog” Chapman and is the star of the A&E reality TV show by the same name. In this show, “Dog” and his posse chronicle their lives as bounty hunters. Because that’s interesting. Or something. We don’t know, honestly. Anyway, the series is mostly filmed in Colorado, which is where Dog and his family and friends live. But on some occasions, the filming takes place elsewhere, such as in Hawaii, which is where this photo was snapped. It shows Dog in some embarrassing swim trunks and his signature grungy and greasy long hair. His beer belly is poking out and over his trunks and the look on his face just says that he feels so uncomfortable in this situation. Well Dog, we feel uncomfortable looking at you in this situation, so there, we’re even.
5. Ivana Trump
67-year-old Ivana Trump is not the young woman she used to be, but that does not stop her from journeying to the beach and stripping down to her bikini. Yes that’s right; the senior citizen and former wife of Donald Trump was flaunting what she had (or had left) in a bright red two-piece bathing suit. What really disturbs us is that we can see something peeking out from her bandeau top, and that is pretty scary. A white belt adorns the bottom half of her bikini, and the facial expression she has…what is going on there? Ivana looks super confident, so more power to her, but the power pose is a bit strange on such an old lady. She sort of looks as though she is trying too hard, but then again, this is a woman who was married to one of the biggest douchebags in the entire world, so…
4. Tara Reid
Tara Reid’s plastic surgery “gone wrong” resulted in a lot of issues for her physical appearance. In an effort to “even out” her boobs and achieve six-pack abs, she went under the knife and tried to get that ultimate body that she wanted. In her own words, it was so that she could have the right physical appearance for a film role. Right. Anyway, these days when Tara goes to the beach and wears a bikini, it ends up scaring quite a lot of people. Her stomach looks as though it were deflated and then inflated again. There are strange folds and creases in her stomach, but it is also super taut – and not in a good way! This image in particular shows Tara enjoying time out in the sun on a yacht, showing off her figure in a bright blue bikini. However, the folds and irregularities in her tummy are there, as well as the same phenomenon on the backs of her thighs.
3. Jack Nicholson
Be careful, Jack! That boat looks dangerous, and we hope that you can swim! Or maybe you’ll just float; we don’t know. This beach image of actor Jack Nicholson is quite a sight to make your eyes sore. No serious offense to the guy, but did he really think that he could get away with wearing oversized swim trunks out in public? People are mean, and they’ll see this image of Jack and tear it up. For an accurate description, we must say that this picture shows the actor climbing down a ladder attached to a boat, and his hunched over figure makes all the rolls and saggy skin very apparent. He is also quite pasty looking, and the bald spot on the top of his head is quite evident thanks to his wet hair (what’s left of his hair, anyway.) The top-heavy actor was not the prettiest picture, but hey, he’s 79 years old!
2. Steve Martin
The 71-year-old actor has certainly paid his dues. Starting out in front of just a few people with his stand-up comedy routine, to making millions with his hit films and comedy tours, Steve Martin deserves to take a break. However, the paparazzi snapped this embarrassing beach time photo of the funny man, which showed him partying it up with some of his buddies. In one joking gesture, Martin gives one of his friends the middle finger, and it was shot by one of those sneaky and meddlesome photographers. The result is not only an embarrassing beach body, but an image that shows Martin flashing a rude hand gesture. Even so, if you know anything about Steve Martin then you know that it was all in fun – probably. Still, we can’t help being creeped out by his old man body and the fact that his white hair is almost the same shade as his skin! Not to mention things are definitely sagging in many places….
1. Giorgio Armani
At age 82, you might think that Giorgio Armani would give the beach a break. Yet he is rich and famous, so of course he needs some vacay time. Armani took to the beach one day on a fancy yacht, but that didn’t stop the paparazzi from finding him and getting an up close and personal shot of his saggy and wrinkled body. No offense to Armani, but a guy in his 80s really shouldn’t be flaunting his body around in a bright white speedo. Actually, Armani’s bathers were not speedos; they were frumpy and droopy and looked more like a diaper than a swimsuit. Perhaps the guy is struggling with some incontinence but still wanted to go on vacation? In any case, this photo was disturbing on so many levels. And yet perhaps Armani gets out on the sandy beaches more often than we’d like, as evident by that golden brown (and leathered) skin of his.