In an article about things that you did not know about love dolls, I get that you might not know anything at all. That’s perfectly okay in just about anybody’s book. After all, what goes on within that world is not necessarily common knowledge. But with that said there are, and have been for years, many different variations of love dolls which men (and some women) have used for a variety of reasons. Of course there is the obvious reason, which is disgusting to many, but there are other reasons that they have been used too; most of which are rather hilarious.
And there are a lot of variations on them too. Some of them are of the cheap blow up doll variety (you know, the ones everybody has seen at some public event at least once) and cost just a few dollars, while others are just one step down from robots. and can cost upward of $50,000. There is also a big difference in how people that own them treat their love dolls. Some of them just have cheap ones for a joke, others use them for more “romantic” purposes, while others form deep emotional relationships with their doll. And no, I am not kidding. I kind of wish I was.
One thing is for sure: these things are here to stay, and with the rapidly changing technology that is going on in this world, love dolls will just become more advanced, as well as more common. So what are we waiting for? Let’s check out 15 bizarre things you didn’t know about love dolls.
15. The More Realistic, The Creepier
Here is an interesting concept. A Japanese robotics engineer came up with the term “Uncanny Valley” which basically means that the more human a robot looks, the more people are creeped out by it. So when it comes to love dolls this means that the more one looks like a human, the more people flip right out when they think about them being used for their true purpose. Right now the technology is getting more and more advanced, and some of these dolls look remarkably human. It won’t be long before some are made that look totally real. So a guy with a bad love doll is just kind of pathetic, but a guy with one that looks just like a real woman is someone that society needs to be creeped out by.
14. It’s illegal To Fondle Blow-up Dolls In Public
Now I don’t know if it is illegal everywhere, but if you want to make out with your blow-up doll in public, and for all that is holy I sincerely hope that you do not, you might want to check out the laws around such things. A man in Florida (where else would he be from?) was arrested after being seen making out with and fondling two blow-up dolls in a parking lot. “It’s just crazy you know and I’m with my daughter and she couldn’t believe what we were seeing,” said witness Arthur Castro. So hey as tempting as it may be to get it on with your blow-up doll in your local Walmart parking lot, it seems like the best course of action, like always, is to wait until you get home before you truly let your freak flag fly.
13. They Can Get You Into The Carpool Lane
Now there are a few really super-obvious reasons why someone would use a doll of this nature, most of which make a normal person’s hair stand on end. But there is one reason that more and more people have used them for. To get in the carpool lane. Yes, sometimes blow-up dolls are used to trick people into thinking there is a passenger in the car, so that the carpool lane can be accessed. I also know a woman who once used a love doll as a traveling companion in certain areas when she drove across the country. She felt more comfortable pretending that she was not alone in order to ward off would-be predators. Can’t someone make a human doll just for this purpose? Maybe one that does not look so ridiculous?
12. They Can Be Expensive
So, of course we are talking a huge range here. Some of these love dolls are nothing more than plastic that is blown up with air. Others are fairly sophisticated robots. For example RealDolls can cost upward of $10,000. The following is from their website: “Realdolls feature the most advanced technologies available in both the skeletal components and the exclusive silicone blend that we use to comprise the bodies and faces, all of which is the result of our 15+ years of experience. We hold several patents on our designs and techniques, including the Face X system, which allows for easily interchanging faces on our dolls. You can now have several faces to choose from in your new playmate.” You can imagine that this costs some major cash.
11. Some People Want Ones That Look Like Their Ex
The most expensive dolls of all are custom made. Yes, the high-end doll manufacturers have a wide variety to choose from, but what if you want one made of your ex-girlfriend who dumped you, or maybe even one of your female boss? Well, that can happen. Don’t believe me? Well, there was a guy who got dumped by his girlfriend and decided that he would just pay someone to make him a new one that looked just like her (except slightly more well endowed in the chest, of course). So hey, if your girlfriend just dumped you and you are all alone watching reruns of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, then just empty out your bank account and buy a new girlfriend. Sure she may not be as interesting as your last one, but you can’t have everything now, can you?
10. They Are NOT Flotation Devices
Sometimes having common sense is hard, at least when it comes to blow-up dolls. I know it might seem like that blow-up doll in your closet is possibly going to save your life in case of a flood but you might have to hold off on that. One woman found that out the hard way. According to Fox News: “A bizarre decision to ride an inflatable doll down a flood-swollen Yarra River in Australia blew up in a woman’s face yesterday when she lost her latex playmate in a rough patch.The incident prompted a warning from police that blow-up sex toys are “not recognized flotation devices.’’ Seriously? Some people are such buzz kills. But anyway, if The Man says that you can not ride your love doll in a flood then that is what The Man says.
9. The Europeans Use Them In Competitions
There are some ways that America and a lot of areas of Europe are just really different, and by different I mean they seem way crazier than we do. While we consider ourselves the types that are more free spirited, can you imagine us Americans routinely using blow-up dolls in sporting competitions? Well, in some areas of Europe that is exactly what they do. In a race called “National Men’s Day” in Lithuania, men use blow-up dolls as rafts. Also there is a race in Russia called “Bubble Baba Challenge” which features men racing down a river while riding love dolls. I really doubt that we in America would be quite so free with using our love dolls in this manner. Think of the children!
8. One Couple Has Over 200 Of Them
The world’s largest collection of love dolls is owned by a British couple named Bob and Lizzy. But do they use them for the reason they are intended? Nope. Instead “They simply live with the dolls: have tea, eat supper, hang out. “I’ve never made love or had sex with the doll at all,” says Bob. “That’s not what I do. Their dolls cost about $4,500 apiece (including the lingerie), and the couple’s huge collection totals around $150,000 — about the value of their countryside home.” Hey Bob, that is great but I have to be honest, a guy buying thousands of dollars of love dolls so that he can have tea with them is way weirder than if you bought them to hang out with in a more “traditional” manner. Seriously Bob and Lizzy- you guys are freaking me out.
7. A Michigan Guy Is Married To His
A guy from Michigan who likes to be called “Davecat” (and that is kind of a big warning sign right there) has three sex dolls. I am pretty sure that legally one can’t be married to a love doll anymore than you could marry a stove, but nevertheless he says that he is married to one of the dolls named “Sidore Kuroneko.” Davecat has two others that live with he and his “wife,” named “Muriel” and “Elena,” but he is not married to them, he just calls them “intimate friends.” Davecat seems like a really lucky guy. How many of us have wives like that who are so understanding? Of course, his wife is probably super-understanding in large part purely because she literally does not have a brain, but hey, you can’t have everything.
6. Some Japanese Brothels Use Dolls
We all know that the Japanese are kind of weird. And when I say kind of weird I mean that they are really weird. While here in America those men who have a little Jones for a love doll are made to feel totally ashamed about such a thing, in Japan they actually have brothels where men can go and spend a few hours, or a night, with a love doll. Why? Well, as I already mentioned, these things are super-expensive, so this way a guy gets to go in and spend a few hundred bucks on something, instead of ten thousand. As far as what the guy spends his money on, to tell you the truth I don’t even want to think about it. All I know is that it’s just one more thing about Japan to make one go “Wait…what???” Those guys are weird.
5. They Won’t Tell You What To Do
All right, listen I am not the one saying this, I am just pointing out that a big portion of the guys that want these things do so because they have super problems with women. One manufacturer made his love dolls because, according to him: “women are cruel, venal, superficial, that they humiliate and break the hearts of men and that dolls on the contrary are reliable, compliant, companionable, and loving.” And love doll manufacturer’s Dolloza say: “Our dolls don’t judge you and you can do whatever you want and whenever you want with no complaining, criticism, or any pillow talk!” All right, so I am a guy and that is kind of wild even to me. But hey, there is something to be said for honesty, even if it is kind of super-creepy.
4. Not All Of Them Are The Same
The world of love dolls is about as diverse as one could possibly imagine. Some models are of the cheap blow-up variety; they could cost less than $100 and are not very functional, to say the least. Then there are many economy models that may go for $500 to a few thousand, that may look a bit okay, but are also not very functional. Then you can go all the way to the top of the line, which is RealDoll, or TrueCompanion, where they cost around 10 grand, but can go all the way up to over $50,000 for something that is completely customizable. There truly is something different for every taste and for every budget. Whether it will be in a few years or a few decades, soon there will be models that will be even more detailed and more expensive than the high-end ones today.
3. Most Women Are Not Into Them
As you might imagine, almost all of the business that these love doll companies get is men. RealDoll has said that 10% of their sales are male dolls, but even those are almost always sold to gay men and not to women. I wonder what this truly says about our society? I know that guys get a bad rap about the way they are around women, but with this kind of statistic out there, it seems like that is the way it should be. It seems that women are not interested in just having a compliant guy that only offers one thing, but that men are. Of course, not all men would want a love doll. In fact I am sure it is fair to say that the vast majority of men would not be interested at all. Still, though, it is pretty telling how few women are into this type of thing.
2. Some Guys Get Attached
While this might seem a little odd (actually who am I kidding, it is really odd), a small group of people that buy these things become deeply emotionally attached to them. They talk to the love dolls, cuddle them, and sit with them on the couch when they are watching TV. The interesting aspect of all of this is that society considers this really weird, much more so than the thought of a guy doing the deed with them. When you think about it though, that is not that hard to understand. If you are purchasing something like this for your physical needs, well that is kind of pathetic no doubt, but hey, whatever. But if you are purchasing something like this for your emotional needs? Well that is just beyond the pale.
1. Yes…Some People Do The Deed With Them
I know that it may seem kind of obvious but yes it has to be said, people buy these things for the most part to do the deed with them. Even the cheapest ones are designed for a guy to be able to mess around with, and the most expensive ones have all sorts of technology involved to make them seem like a real woman. What kind of technology you may ask? Well, frankly I am not sure if I want to know. Some things are better left unsaid, and the true inner workings of love dolls are one of those. So what are you waiting for? Get on the net and do some research and you could be on your way to satisfaction in no time. Or hey, you could always just go outside and meet a real woman. It’s up to you, really. No judgment on my end. Promise.