Creepy photos are not something we are usually accustomed to seeing at the “happiest place on earth”, also known as Disney World, Disney Land, or any of its variations across the globe. More often, a photo taken at the Magic Kingdom or places it is associated with are of smiling people posing with ever-happy cartoon characters under a bright blue sky. Or perhaps children shrieking in delight on the teacup ride, or a young twenty-something down on one knee proposing to his girlfriend in front of Cinderella’s castle. These are the images we associate in our minds with the enchanting world of Disney, not anything frightening or perverse.
But that being said, you have to admit that with animated characters brought to life and wearing masks with painted-on smiles and big gaping holes for eyes, they are bound to look a bit sinister if caught in the wrong moment. This, along with people being their normal creepy selves, and you have a recipe for some not-so-happy photographs. Plus, there are creepy Disney pictures of another kind, as well: the vintage snapshots, especially those involving the olden-day Mickey, Minnie, and other character costumes that would, in my opinion, be more likely to scare a little kid away than fill their hearts with joy.
So for all of these reasons, it is not out of the realm of possibility that there exists a boatload of questionable Disney photos out there. And I am here to present them to you. Following are 15 creepy AF photos from the happiest place on earth, although you will probably not believe it is so dang happy by the end of this list.
15. Somebody Help This Child
And this, ladies and gentleman, is exactly what I mean when I talk about vintage being creepy. There is just something about old, yellowed photographs (and in this case, the early style of Mickey and Minnie costumes) that puts an ominous sort of light on them. Think about it: the same picture, scary masks and all, would not look nearly as malevolent if it were brightly-colored, appearing as if it were taken recently. But this poor boy needs saving, badly. There is no escaping for him because history’s scariest Mickey and Minnie have him tucked right between them. He’s not going anywhere. The kid looks like he is about to cry, and he is stiff as a board, obviously not comfortable at all. This is not how a kid is supposed to look at the happiest place on earth. Hope he wasn’t scarred for life.
14. Piggie Secrets
I am dying to know what that pig is whispering to that innocent little girl. Sure, they are posing for a picture so it is natural that he be close to her, but there is no way that his head is turned and leaned in like that while posing, or at least not with that purpose. Piggie’s happy face and hand on her bare shoulder just make it all the yuckier. Strangely, the girl did not look too put off by it, but maybe she did not realize what was happening behind her, and maybe she could not hear the creep whispering his sweet nothings through that godawful mask. So, there is that. There is also the fact that next to her, her little sister seems to be just as clueless. Like all the other kids at Disney World posing for their parents’ pictures, both of these girls look like they are grinning and bearing one more photo while silently begging for no more of them. Speaking of clueless, I cannot for the life of me figure out why she is carrying a toolbox…
13. Hands to Yourself, Mickey!
This photo just screams creepy. More than that, it screams the fact that good ol’ Mickey Mouse (and from the looks of it, his partner in crime, Minnie) are both the biggest creeps, ever. Now, we don’t really know what was going on when this photo was snapped, but really, there are only so many scenarios that do not end up being that these two oversized rodents are just creeps. Clearly, the little girl is shying away from Mickey and does not want to be touched by him, but he still tries, and Minnie holds her in place. More than likely, it was just them trying to help the kid’s mom out and get her to pose for a picture. But it sure doesn’t look that way.
12. Donald’s Unmentionables
I have never known Donald Duck to be shy, but it looks to me as if he is quite worried about the fact that he is wearing no pants. With his hand to his mouth as if in embarrassed surprise that he is naked down south, and the three princesses doing their best to help him out with the feathers, this is a pretty damn awkward Disney photo. Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty/Princess Aurora seem to be getting a kick out of the situation though, and underneath the duck costume, that dude probably is, too. It is likely all just fun and games (even Disney characters need a break from their jobs!) but since the photo is easily found on the internet, and is clearly sexually suggestive, it is not the best representation of a children’s theme park. In that respect, it is kind of creepy. The duck and his harem of princesses need to get their giggles away from the kiddies, not flaunt the fact that Donald has no pants and that they adore it.
11. Haunted Museum
These dancing ladies and gentlemen are obviously not real people, but that does not take away from the fact that (especially upon first glance) they look downright eerie. Part of it is that frozen-in-time, forlorn, trance look they all have, in my opinion. But these are mannequins- inanimate objects- that look eerily real, except for the fact that they are purple and orange and aqua-colored (small detail). Plus, they look to be in some sort of abandoned garage or basement, which adds to the creep-factor. In reality, this photo was taken backstage in the Haunted Museum, home to ghosts, ghouls, and all sorts of supernatural fun at Disney World. Still, all that interactive fun could have fooled me into thinking it was more scary than exciting if I were a kid who saw this picture (or the real thing).
10. Boob Blunder
Everyone who is anyone has seen this photo of Christina Aguilera‘s boob being grabbed by Donald Duck. Of course, that is not what is really happening here, but still. Creepy! What is really happening is that at the exact moment the photo was snapped (accident? I think not), she suffered a wardrobe malfunction. At the precise second that all of this was going down, Donald was attempting to hug/embrace/hold her for a pose. Problem is, he is way off mark, and it is hard to understand exactly what he was hoping to accomplish. How could he not know he is groping her so inappropriately? And at an amusement park for kids, no less. The answer is simple: he probably did know, just like the photographer knew her boob was out and took the photo anyway. People being their creepy selves, folks, like I said.
9. They’re Coming For You…
Or at least, that is what this seriously sinister-looking photo would have you believing. I’m sorry, but even with some of the friendliest characters, them walking toward you like this in costume is for some reason just plain scary. The masks and the fact that it is in black and white do not help things. Maybe next time I would advise them to not have their hands (paws) in the air like they are preparing to pounce, and to not stand creepily in the background with your hands clapped together as if you just won a yummy prize and are about to eat it right up. Just saying. The two in the middle aren’t so bad, but they definitely add to the illusion that these guys are hunting you down.
8. Character Grinding
It could be a new “thing”- character grinding! No? Didn’t think so. Whatever it is these two are doing, it is probably not meant for a children’s theme park… or for anyone. This chick is shaking her booty in the crotch of a children’s cartoon character, who, by the way, happens to be enjoying it a little too much. First of all, the girl is probably a child, herself. Between her outfit, her physique, and the Kimmy Schmidt-style backpack, I am going to go out on a limb and say she is in high school (maybe even middle school!) and probably there on a class trip. And that bear (monkey?) is definitely over 18. I call statutory grinding. Gross; don’t nobody want to see that!
7. Andre the Giant
Andre the Giant was a French professional wrestler and actor. And even though this is a list of the creepy, I have to admit that the guy looks pretty friendly in these pictures, which were taken during his visit to Disney World. However, any time a giant man (seven feet and four inches tall and 520 pounds, to be exact) is just chilling and carrying around other full-grown adults (especially ones in cartoon character get-ups), it’s going to look a bit creepy. There’s no way around it. Especially in the photo on the left, the size difference is apparent between the two men, and it is stark and shocking. They look like a circus act, or an insane man and his doll, or freaks from some kind of demented documentary. The wallpaper kind of seems like it is out of a horror film, too. And the Minnie Mouse photo, well, do I even need to explain the creepiness? Andre likely looked so out-of-place at the park that he actually fit right in, since it is a place of fairy tale characters and make believe.
6. A Band of Killer Mickeys
What’s scarier than one vintage, early-edition Mickey Mouse mask? A whole room full of them! Sure, we know that behind these frightening masks are harmless little children (try not to picture Children of the Corn, though). But still, they look like they are tiny little serial killers right out of Scream, or Silence of the Lambs, or Halloween, or The Purge, or The Strangers… or any horror movie where the killer wears a mask, really. That especially rings true if the mask is a smiling face, like these are. Happy masks are the creepiest, even if they are not meant to be. In this image, the shadows lurking in the background and the kid with the cello wielding what is most likely a bow but looks like it could be a killing instrument only add to the feeling that you need to run for your life.
5. More Killer Mickeys
Maybe it is because Mickey and Minnie were among the earliest of Walt Disney’s creations, but there seem to be an awful lot of creepy vintage masks of these two. And here are two more. They look like they belong in a horror film of some sort, and in this photo it is almost as if they are laughing at some inside joke only they are privy to. I can practically hear the evil laughter just looking at this photograph as they joke that no one around them has any idea they’re about to be dead meat. Again, the plastered-on smiles, big gaping black eye circles, and even their stance gives me the heebie-jeebies and the creepy-crawlies. Disney World has really come a long way in terms of being kid-friendly since its earliest years, if you ask me.
4. Killer Clowns
It is a toss-up if the killer clowns or all the killer Mickeys are more creepy, but I am going to have to go with the Mickeys, simply because we are used to clowns being creepy as hell, but Mickey is supposed to be a child-friendly character. That’s why, when he looks threatening, it is so much worse. Don’t get me wrong; these guys are pretty freaking disturbing in their own right, especially with a way-too-happy Dumbo between them (didn’t Dumbo lose his mom? And isn’t his name Dumbo? He has no reason to be that happy). So moral of the story: crazy clowns on unicycles and doing jigs plus weird Dumbo plus a vintage photo equals kinda terrifying.
3. Dismal Land
There is such a thing called Dismaland, which was a temporary art project constructed in England that was branded as a “family theme park unsuitable for kids” (and it was exactly what it sounds like: a dismal Disney Land). But this photo is not that. This photo is the real-life version of it, and it gives me the shivers. There are Disney theme parks all over the world from Paris to Hong Kong. This Disney-inspired theme park was in Japan. It was called Nara Dreamland (it was originally Nara Disneyland but there were disagreements over licensing fees for all the Disney characters) and it opened in 1961. It closed in 2006, and has been abandoned ever since. Now this is what I think of when I picture a creepy theme park (that is, until I made this list).
2. Please Don’t Eat Me!
I cannot tell if this poor little boy is more afraid of being eaten by this slobbering, big-toothed character (Goofy, maybe?), or if he is just totally weirded out and trying to convey on his face to get him the F out of there. Actually, the kid kind of seems like he is sending his parents, or whoever is behind the camera, a silent F you. Between the creature’s giant paw holding the boy in place next to him, his gaping mouth of sharp teeth that threaten to chomp down on the boy at any second, and the other oddities of this photo like the random arms on either side of the picture, this is probably not what Mom and Dad had in mind when they told little Tommy there to pose for a memory-making moment. Also, is little Tommy holding a giraffe costume?
1. Cuffed Kiddos?
Sadly, arrests do happen at the happiest place on earth. They are far from unheard of with all the rabble-rousers that wind up at Disney World. This photo would be nothing too spectacular in terms of creepiness, except that on first glance, it looks like two little girls are being arrested. Sitting “criss-cross applesauce” (must be politically correct), and wearing little girl costumes, you cannot tell from the back that actually, these are two grown women. It was only after tracking down their story that I believed they were not children, which is what makes this picture amusing and disturbing all at the same time, because if you didn’t know better, you would think children were being restrained and arrested at Disney World. The story, by the way, is that 32 costumed protestors were arrested after staging a demonstration over pay and conditions.