Who doesn’t love Disney? Horrible people and Dreamworks executives, that’s who. But everyone else seems to love the house the mouse built. There have been numerous eras, some high, some low, for Disney films. But no matter what era you grew up with, you have to have a couple of good childhood memories associated with Disney films.
Memorable memes take something familiar and give it a twist. There is not much that is more familiar than Disney, and there is no bigger twist than making Disney “Adult” as all hell.
These are some of the worst memes, scraped from the underbelly of the Internet. If you are the type of person that likes to laugh at stuff that utterly annihilates precious childhood memories, then take a look at these. Your cherished memories are lost and alone in the forest. And these nasty memes are hiding behind every tree, just waiting to jump out and slit your memory’s throat and desecrate it while it drowns in its own bloody screams. Yeah, they’re that bad. Prepare to have your childhood ruined.
15. Simba About To Give Brain
Oh man, this meme is funny because it’s so relatable. We have all been young lions roaming around the jungle when we happen upon another animal, lounging on its backside, inviting us to perform some favors on them. If I had a nickel for every time this has happened to me, I would be rich enough that I wouldn’t have to perform acts on random jungle animals for nickels.
If you really look at Simba’s face, you can see the conundrum he’s in. He obviously doesn’t want to do it. But he was raised right and won’t rudely refuse right away, no questions asked. You can tell he is picturing the scenario in his head, thinking “Maybe I should suck it. Would that change who I am as I lion?” The true horror on his face is not due to the situation, but maybe the realization that he is fine with doing it.
14. Gus Gus Has Beads In His Bum Bum
Hey, we all love Cinderella, right everyone? I mean she’s a Disney princess, she dressed in yellah, she went downstairs to kiss a fella, it’s a timeless story. But everyone’s favorite part of Cinderella, besides all that bibbety-boppity-boo malarkey, has to be Gus Gus! He’s a fat mouse and he’s really dumb. Classic comedy character.
It appears that someone found a frame in Cinderella where Gus Gus and the mouse that’s not named Gus Gus are trying to put together Cinderella’s broken necklace, but it looks like Gus Gus has beads coming out of his butthole. Now, those Disney animators could get pretty bawdy back in the day and would insert random images to amuse themselves. After all, there where no high quality versions of the films you could watch at home and pause. Was this scene intentional? We may never know, or care.
13. Snow White And Bill Cosby
This one is pretty straightforward. Snow White (who isn’t really a princess, but is still marketed as a Disney Princess, so whatever) bites a cursed apple, or some crap, and gets put under a sleeping curse. Something similar happened to Sleeping Beauty but I guess she’s hotter than Snow White, hence the nickname. So, the dwarves show up and discover that Snow White can only be woken up by a kiss. Enter Bill Cosby.
Y’see the maker of this meme inserted the Coz because he is a sexual predator who drugged numerous women so he could have sex with them without their consent, or “rape” them, if you want to get fancy about it. If you have a sleeping woman, just insert a picture of a sexual predator and you get instant comedy. Funny meme.
12. Pinocchio Nose
Hey did you ever notice that the way Pinocchio’s nose get longer every time he tells a lie is kind of similar to how a man’s penis becomes erect when he is aroused? If you did, then congratulations, you are now qualified to make a Pinocchio meme on the internet.
If you look you Pinocchio memes, you would be hard pressed to find one that does not make an erection joke. This one is particularly disturbing because of the “Aw, shucks” expression on Pinocchio’s face as well as the intensely scolding position of Jiminy Cricket. Did Pinocchio attempt to stick his phallic nose inside of the cricket in some weird act of violent dominance? Only the maker of this meme knows for sure.
11. Nala Wants Simba Up In There
We all remember in The Lion King when Nala and Simba reunite and they frolic around or something. I think that’s what happened, I forgot. Anyway, it’s a straightforward reuniting love scene. It’s a kid’s movie so they just roll around and make goo goo eyes at each other. If it was a PG-13 romance movie, they would make love, and something comedic would happen. And if it was an adult film, I’d probably be finished with it within 48 seconds and turn it off.
See this meme is funny because, in the movie, Timon and Pumba, a wart hog and a fuzzy snake with arms and legs, sing about “Hakuna Matata.” It’s a phrase that means no worries. But here, the meme’s creator puts that phrasing over a picture of Nala with the bedroom eyes and uses it to suggest she wants Simba to motorboat her nonexistent, fur covered, animated lion breasts. Funny and sexy.
10. Aladdin’s Pants Are Full Of…
Aladdin was a weirdo, street urchin titular star of the racist Disney film Aladdin. He was also, according to this meme, horrifically disfigured. Is this an affliction suffered by all residents of Agrabah, or just this one goon? The saddest part is just how fine Aladdin seems to be about this.
The first thing I noticed wrong with Aladdin’s anatomy was that his belly button is way too low. Then, I noticed that his lower half was just giant testicles and his legs and feet were growing out of his testicle. Are they just as sensitive as normal testicles? Are they more sensitive because they’re bigger? How much do those huge nuts affect Aladdin’s daily life? Soccer is definitely out of the question. Soccer sucks, so that’s at least one positive to come out of this.
9. Peter’s Pan Sexual
Peter Pan is the classic story of a boy that doesn’t want to grow up and hangs around with a bunch of other boys and lures a young girl to his secret place. There’s also some pirates. And I think there is an alligator that ate a clock in there as well. It’s really riveting stuff.
So, this meme has Peter Pan at his most fabulous, spreading his arms and declaring to the world that he is pansexual. Pansexual is the sexual attraction to a person of any sex or gender. So basically it is bisexual but fancier. Also pansexual has the word pan in it, so it plays on Peter Pan’s last name: Pan. This is some pretty high concept stuff here, people. Personally, I am glad that Peter has finally found himself. If he’s happy, then I am happy for him.
8. 101 Dalmatians Meets Jay-Z
A long time ago Mr. Beyonce, Jay-Z, rapped that he had 99 problems, but none of those problems involved females. He also used the horrific pejorative, “bitch” when describing his non-female problem having situation. Some clever Internet person heard this song and realized that female dogs are referred to as bitches and this meme was born.
How many puppies do those dogs have anyway? Do they have 101 puppies and the title is from their perspective in that they are two Dalmatians who now have 101 other Dalmatians to look after? Or do they have 99 puppies and as they are Dalmatians as well, the title is from the owner’s perspective? Either way, that’s too many dogs. Just give them to Cruella, man.
7. Belle Is Amazed By A Rose In A Jar
This one is probably one of my all-time favorite Disney related memes. It is so effective, because it is so simple. The picture is of Belle, from Beauty And The Beast, being like holy sh*t amazed by a f**king rose in a jar. And then the text is Belle saying “Holy f**king sh*t you guys! It’s a f**king rose in a jar!”
The fact that Belle is even at that rose in the first place is so aggravating. She is the Beast’s guest, and she has the run of the whole castle. And Beast is like, “Hey, so just don’t go over there.” And then Belle is immediately like, “Fu**k that Beast. What does he know? I do what I want!” She shouldn’t have ever been in a situation where she could be amazed by that cool as rose in the jar. I wish that rose had peed on her.
6. Woody Poisons A Hole
Okay, this one is particularly disturbing. Woody, as we all know, is a sentient toy that creepily watches his owner at all hours of the day, and come to life to have adventures while said owner is away. He also has a string you can pull to make him say several different phrases, one of those phrases being “Someone poisoned the waterhole.”
In this meme, a real Woody doll appears to be doing it with another toy while saying one of his pre-programmed catchphrases in reference to the other toy’s lady parts. This raises a few questions. The most pressing being, how are these toys doing it when they don’t have genitalia. Also, a word of advice to all of you out there with little experience in the sex department: don’t make that face and tell your partner that you are poisoning their vagina while you are inside them. The vast majority of women probably find that unsexy.
5. Zeus Is REALLY Excited
Hey, you guys remember that all time Disney classic, Hercules? No? No, seriously, Disney made a Hercules movie and it was pretty decent. James Woods was the bad guy. And this was before James Woods became the worst person on Twitter, which puts him in the running for worst person in the world. You should check it out. Go watch it, then come back and check out this meme.
Okay, welcome back. Decent movie, right? Now that you are all caught up, look at this picture of Zeus. He is making a goofy face and letting everyone within earshot know that he ejaculated in his toga. What got him so aroused that he could finish himself off while fully clothed? Who knows, man. This is Zeus we’re talking about here. If there was one thing I remember about this stuff from school, it was that Zeus was always mad horny. If you told me someone jizzed in their toga, I’d be like, “I bet it was Zeus. That old horndog.” So back to James Woods. Man, that dude is a piece of crap.
4. The Blue Fairy Knows How To Party
Dude, there was a Blue Fairy in Pinocchio. I know, I didn’t remember it either! Remember that lame movie A.I. where pre-fat Haley Joel Osment was a robot and he wanted to be a real boy, just like Pinocchio? But he was looking for the Blue Fairy and I was all like, “Who the sh*t is the Blue Fairy? Is that from Pinocchio?” Turns out she is from there! Man I need to re-watch this freaking 100-year-old movie.
So the Blue Fairy shows up to make Pinocchio into a real boy. And, of course, what phrase are you supposed to say when sh*t is about to get real? Sh*t is about to get real, son! Of course whoever made this meme left out the “son.” I can totally suspend my disbelief enough to accept the Blue Fairy cursing and using hack catchphrases. But if she went a little street and started calling people “son,” no way I could buy that.
3. The Frozen Sisters Have Different Reactions To Seeing A Large Member
It’s 2017, people. It is time to admit it: we have all seen a couple of wieners by now. And as we all know, wieners come in all different shapes and sizes. There are bigger ones and smaller ones. There are chubby ones and there are skinny ones. There are ones that make you say, “Whoa, what the hell is that?” and there are ones that make you go “Okay yeah, that is obviously a wiener.” When you see a wiener you can’t hide your natural reaction.
The maker of this meme starts with the supposition that there are only two general reactions to seeing a large member: excitement and fear. Now this basic premise is questionable, but the meme maker continues. They next found a still from the movie Frozen where the sisters are making faces that coincide with those previously established big penis seeing reactions. And thus, Anna and Elsa reacting to seeing a big one meme is put forth into the world.
2. Woody And Buzz Are Names For Different Toys
Woody and Buzz are the two main characters of the delightful movie Toy Story. Woody and Buzz can also be names of sex toys, apparently. But if you are being honest about it, sex toys could be named anything. I mean, why can’t you have a dildo named Larry? Or a butt plug named His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama? This is a free country, name your toys whatever you want.
But, Buzz is a pretty good sex toy name because sometimes they buzz. And Woody works as a sex toy name because, sometimes people call boners woodies, I guess. I hope that is it. I hope no one is out there with a wooden dildo. That seems like it would present a pretty serious splinter hazard. But, hey, if sexy splinters are your thing, then go for it. More power to you.
1. Cinderella Has Stupid Shoes
How did this even make it to the final version of the story? Who has ever worn glass shoes? Has that ever even been a thing? And if not, then who thought that would be an elegant choice in footwear? “Oh man, we need something for Cinderella’s fairy godmother to give her that screams high class. I got it ! How about a glass shoe!” Those glass slippers have to have a weight limit, I mean, they’re glass. If you are a few pound too heavy, you would put them on, stand up, and then they would immediately shatter underneath you.
In this meme, the handsome prince’s man-servant, let’s just call him Julio Von Happenblath, is pointing out how stupid the idea of glass slippers is. Julio tried to put the shoe on Cinderella and it shattered. It looks like it cut an artery, too. Julio better turn a pumpkin into an ambulance and get her some medical attention or he’s going to have to spend another night digging a grave for a dead peasant girl. The funny thing is, Cinderella seems to be into it. Maybe she’s one of those people that uses a wooden dildo.