I’m not the first one to say this but social media is not just a way for millennials to waste time in public. Although it does serve a purpose, from LinkedIn to Twitter, social media is one of the most powerful tools out there right now. Business owners, marketers, celebrities and just about anyone with anything interesting to say are on social media. It is a great way to spread awareness of causes, businesses, ideas and events.
Unfortunately, for every business owner with a cool product or sharp cookie with an intriguing idea, there seem to be about nine people snapping pictures of their meal or posting videos of cats being startled by farts. But really, these people are just having fun. Nothing Earth-shattering is going on but they aren’t hurting anyone and sometimes these insignificant posts can brighten days and entertain. With that in mind however, there are some dangerous Instagram accounts out there. I’m not talking about recruiters for ISIS or Boko Haram. I am referring to accounts that post such offensive stupidity that it would make Homer Simpson concerned. There seems to be an ever-growing amount of things on the internet that make people with a serious side think “this is what the world is coming to?” and while I hope that what I write here will portray a decent portion of this, I have a feeling it will have just scratched the surface. Here are fifteen Instagram accounts that show that there is truly no hope for the world.
15. A**hole parents
Parenting is a tough job. As a general rule, you lose sleep, it costs a lot and the final product will usually be asking why they’re so messed up. A**hole parents is an Instagram account that features pictures that parents have taken of their kids crying over stupid things. It has over 300,000 followers and has everything from a child crying over not being allowed to play with a table saw, to a child sobbing because his mother asked him to stop stomping on cereal that was spilled on the floor.
How is this proof that the world is doomed? Well, one day these kids may be in charge. Then again, I’d be willing to wager that kids have been crying over stupid things for a very long time.
14. Parking Spot Shaming
If you’re a driver, you probably hate nothing more than someone sharing the road with you who is inconsiderate. Of course it’s never you either, you brilliant motorist, you! But if you find a person who has parked their car right in the middle of an intersection and it has yet to be towed, Parking Spot Shaming is the place for you to post such a public service announcement.
Whether a Hummer is parked over three handicap spaces or somebody has parked two feet away from the curb, this account demonstrates that even though cars have been around for over a century, many people still cannot operate them with proper consideration to others. Those people deserve their shaming and their continued existence is a small but significant manifestation of the fact that the world really isn’t making great progress.
13. Justin Jedlica
I originally had Valeria Lukyanova (the human barbie doll) on here, but looking into it, she actually hasn’t had that much work done. The boob job is obvious, but outside of that, she’s basically a girl with a great body, who wears a ton of make up and has facial features that look remotely similar to that of the famous toy. Scrutinize her claim of “not a ton of work done” as you will.
Justin Jedlica is a man who looks like the Ken doll. The thing is, he’s spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on over a hundred surgeries to make himself look like Ken. There are still people against the idea of gender reassignment surgery. Fair enough, I no longer care about that debate, let them do what they want, but my inner repugnance meter goes haywire at the thought of some dude spending a small fortune making himself look like a toy. But I guess to each his own and who the hell am I?
Meet Skellie, a skeleton who poses in pictures making fun of the stereotypical girl on Instagram. Every last one of the usual poses can be found, from the obligatory picture of the first red leaf of fall, to bathroom selfies and of course, we can’t dare to forget the ever-popular “frustrated at work” pics. #OMG.
11. Passenger Shaming
This can be filed under “scum of the Earth studies” right next to the parking spot account. Passenger shaming features pictures taken by flight attendants after or during flights. Disgusting feet and obscene messes left behind are both popular posts and stand as examples of behavior that should have been taken care of by evolution. If feet and mess aren’t enough for you, there are also plenty of shots of people who remove too much clothing during flights.
This one is hilarious, but the amount of immaturity that is apparent in its content is proof that the world is not going in the right direction, and I cannot stop laughing about it. If you have a filthy mind, and these days almost everyone seems to, you can find very unlikely things that look like male genitalia.
From a woman’s odd haircut, to microphones that are positioned perfectly during interviews, it’s funny where you can find hilarity. But still, this is what we spend time on. I don’t want to be a killjoy though, so let’s move on.
9. Tinder Nightmares
You can find crazies wherever you look. Whether you trawl bars for “companionship” or go on the internet, you will encounter crazy. Tinder is no different and the great thing about an app or an internet dating site is that craziness that shows up on a screen can be saved and shared.
In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Tinder nightmares is an account that showcases the weirdest and creepiest on the hookup app. From guys who come on way too strong to weirdos who may be dangerous, there is plenty to laugh at. Also in the mix are some interesting and sometimes witty opening lines.
The reason flying sucks has an Instagram account that is followed by over 300,000 people. They mostly post pictures of knives and firearms that they confiscate from travelers. There are never any pictures of them wrestling knitting needles away from grannies, pouring out breast milk or patting down crying children, for those images, you must go directly to the airport.
There are two things to take away from this. First off, 300,000 people follow the TSA on Instagram, and second people are still trying to bring shocking amounts of weapons on planes. But from my own perspective, I question the validity of all these pictures and am not closed to the idea that the TSA’s social media presence is a hoax, posting pictures obtained elsewhere of weapons disguised as seized contraband to make their own jobs seem necessary.
7. Parenting Fail
This is the opposite of my first entry “A**hole parents”, and parenting fails is pretty much an account that showcases bad parenting choices. Let’s break this down, parents, raising children, are now joking and bragging on the internet about their own shortcomings. From moms posting lingerie selfies next to crying infants to toddlers dressed like rappers or sporting tramp stamps, look up parenting fails on Instagram if you want to feel concern for the next generation.
Now as a male who doesn’t do much in the way of advanced grooming, I admit that I don’t know how hard it is to “do” one’s eyebrows. Furthermore, I don’t care and the examples of this Instagram account are terrifying examples of people who need professional help…from beauticians.
To be fair, there are different levels of awful, but who thinks any of these looks are good?! It’s scary and troubling that people think these pictures are anything other than simply ridiculous.
I think this is what people who want to sound smart call “meta”. It’s basically an Instagram account featuring nothing but descriptions of the usual Instagram posts, written on pieces of paper. It’s pretty funny, but stands as an example of how unoriginal almost everything on the social media site is. I’m not really sure if this is actually a sign that the world is doomed or just a joke aimed at those who prove the world is doomed. Either way, enjoy the laughs.
Before anyone calls me a feline-phobe, I will go on record as saying that I like cats. I like them roughly as much as dogs. I’m generally amused by almost everything cat-related on the internet, but cashcats is a sign that cats are taking over. The account is just picture after picture of cats rolling around in piles of money. It’s funny, but it should scare us all that cats are commanding this much capital these days. They are in control now. Okay, this is a joke, they’re not taking over, but this cat thing is getting a little ridiculous.
I’m not a chef, and I’m not a snob. In fact, I’ve been known to cook up some bacon and onions, shred a massive block of cheddar cheese, throw it in the frying pan and then eat that as an entire meal. In short, anything will do when I’m hungover.
But there is no way in hell I would eat most of what is on Cooking for bae. It is the polar opposite of the delicious food normally posted on Instagram. To be fair, most of it just looks like garbage and is probably tasty. If you like food that looks like cat feces in a litter box, then this is the place for you.
2. The Kardashians/Jenners
Most of them have over a million followers and while I’m up on my soap box, I must say, the people who consider the Kardashians/Jenners worthy of their attention need to wake up and find new hobbies. A Kardashian had a job ages ago, and that was their father who was a lawyer. The ones splattered all over the media nowadays are attention-craving opportunists who offer absolutely nothing to their fans. They are spoiled brats that make Paris Hilton look like an accomplished, intelligent, applause-worthy young lady.
The fact that so many of these cretins are followed by so many means that despite their personalities, or lack thereof, people will follow and obsess over a pretty face with nothing behind it. I’ll stay on my soap-box for one more post.
I thought of including the Rich Kids of Instagram, but really those people aren’t doing anything that bad. They look like they’re having a great time, and whether they made their own money or not, they are showing off a life most people would love to have. They aren’t particularly arrogant about it, like “Lavish”.
Whether he’s pouring Pellegrino mineral water down the toilet or just posing with a stack of bills while holding up a middle finger, calling his followers “peasants”, he’s either a scumbag child with rich parents who will be fun to watch spiral into the gutter one day or he’s a troll who is playing a character. I hope he’s a character, but if not, he’s proof that the world is doomed. While other rich people post pictures of their awesome lives with a message along the lines of “hey guys, this could be you, give life your all!” Lavish is usually holding up an offensive gesture and reminding people what he has that they lack.
If he is a character, he’s a terrible character and those who follow him need to give their heads a shake.