Sexual wellness is important! Global, super e-commerce store Amazon knows that. Recently they released a list showing the top ten cities in the United States for sexual wellness purchases. Whether the residents of these cities blush or brag is up to them. The fact remains that they buy more sexual wellness products than any other cities in the USA.
There were some parameters that Amazon used to construct this list. Only cities with 100,000 or more people were listed, for example. So, yes, we suppose it’s entirely possible that some kinky little village could exist somewhere. And maybe those villagers order thousands of gallons of lube and boxes full of dildos and condoms. But, since they don’t have the population to rank on the list, they’re excluded. If anyone finds such a place, please let us know.
According to Amazon’s “best-sellers” for the sexual wellness category, the hot commodities are various lubricants, vibrating dildos, condoms, and sex toy disinfectants. Sounds like you could make quite the night out of that bag of goodies!
Without further ado, let’s take a look at this list. Maybe we can get to the bottom of why these cities order the way they do!
10. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Home of the Penguins, the Pirates, and the Steelers. Also home to the Pittsburgh Panthers, the University of Pittsburgh men’s basketball team. So why all the sexual wellness purchases? Hard to tell. Their ranking could be spearheaded by the college students at the University. The University is home to around 35,000 students.
Or, It could be that these Pittsburgh residents take after their sports team names. Penguins in the wild use sticks and stones to show their affection for their prospective mates. Maybe the Pittsburgh boys use a different kind of stick and a different pair of stones. And pirates are notorious for their drunken revelry and fornication. Are there any other parallels here?
9. Gainesville, Florida
Hmm, how do we explain this one? The first of many Floridian cities on this top ten sex toy list. A couple colleges are nearby, like the University of Florida. There’s also the Florida school of massage… Who knows how inspired and adventurous the students are at that school? Gainesville has a population of about 130,000 people, according to a 2014 census.
If you pop over to the official Gainesville City website, you’ll see that their slogan is actually “every path starts with passion.” It’s an inspiring slogan, to be sure. Perhaps the Gainesville residents are taking it to an unintended, highly sexual level?
8. Atlanta, Georgia
The first capital city to make this top ten list! The population is about 450,000 people. It’s the biggest city to make the list so far.
Atlanta is home to the Atlanta Jazz Festival (no kidding), which is the largest free jazz festival in the country. Could that be the ticket? Maybe there’s nothing quite like a couple late-spring jazz licks to get the panties dropping and the fellas popping — safely of course.
It could be that lube intended for sexual wellness actually works really well for oiling the slides on trombones and trumpets.
Please note: if you are in fact a low-brass player, please don’t start using lubricant intended for sex on your tromboner.
7. Ann Arbor, Michigan
Looks like we’re beginning a journey west with this one! Ann Arbor is the 6th largest city in the state of Michigan. A 2010 census put the population just shy of 115,000 people. What has these residents chomping at the sexual-wellness bit?
Do we turn again to college students? The University of Michigan is in Ann Arbor. There are close to 45,000 students attending the University of Michigan at any time, and maybe each and every one of them loves safe sex. Can’t fault them for that! With sexual powerhouses like Madonna on the Michigan alumni roster, how can you blame these avid rabbits?
6. Berkeley, California
Heading west in truth this time, all the way out to the east shore of the San Francisco Bay. That’s where you’ll find the city of Berkeley, California. The 2013 census puts the population at about 117,000 residents — another city that only made the cut by a few thousand residents.
And who would have thought? A University is close by! The University of California, Berkeley is (logically) located in Berkeley, California. What, didn’t see that coming? With a student population that’s just shy of 40,000 students, the conditions are ripe for sexual exploration.
Not to mention there’s the Berkeley marina nearby… Love-by-boat, anyone?
5. Seattle, Washington
The 2013 census found that Seattle had a population of over 652,000. It’s a real tech industry hub. Amazon and Microsoft, among others, have their headquarters in Seattle. Maybe the tech industry, busy making big things happen, likes to relax whenever and however it can. Self-servicing isn’t a bad play. Who knows what inspires these people?
You’re probably familiar with the “Space Needle,” an instantly-recognizable Seattle landmark. Maybe it’s this enormous phallic monument that has everyone stocking up on sexual wellness products! There are also a number of colleges: University of Washington, Seattle University, the list goes on.
4. Cambridge, Massachusetts
Ok gang, time to saddle up and head back east. This time we head to a metropolitan area of Boston. Cambridge, Massachusetts. Let’s get the easy one out of the way first; yes, it’s located in Middlesex county. Grow up!
With a population of 107,000, according to the 2013 census, it’s the smallest city on the list so far. And yet here it is, pulling a strong number four spot on this top ten list. Nearby colleges and universities? Harvard University. Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Ring any bells?
Now, considering how hard the students at those higher-learning institutes work, it’s no wonder they turn to the internet to buy products to help them blow off some steam.
3. Alexandria, Virginia
The population of this southbound city was estimated to be about 150,600 back in 2014. After a brief investigation of Alexandria’s various offerings, nothing jumps out immediately that would indicate this place is a secret hub for adult entertainment.
They do have a torpedo factory (which is now an art center). Maybe it’s not called torpedo factory because of the munitions people built in this factory back during World War II. Rather, maybe “torpedo factory” describes the well-endowed part of the workforce. It’s like the way “sausage fest” is used to describe a poorly-ratioed, party turned dude congregation. With a reputation like “torpedo” preceding you, maybe residents need all the lube they can get.
2. Orlando, Florida
Hello, Florida. So we meet again. How have you been?
According to the 2013 census, Orlando has about 255,500 people hanging (and banging?) in the city limits.
Orlando has several great things going on, like Universal Studios and Disney World (emphasis on Magic Kingdom, here). Based on the consumer data from Amazon, the people at Seaworld Orlando are not the only ones in the city getting wet (apparently).
Maybe Orlando residents turn to sex as a way to escape the hordes of tourists. Or maybe tourists, overcome by the fun of Orlando, have sexual wellness products shipped right to their rented rooms at various resorts.
1. Miami, Florida
Ok Florida. We get it. What are you trying to prove? Three cities on a list of ten?!
You have great weather (from a coastal United States standpoint), and you have great sex too?
Miami, located at the southeast tip of Florida, is apparently a sexual paradise for “tips” everywhere. The population comes in at about 418,000, this figure is based on the 2013 census. One of the more heavily-populated cities on this list, taking the number one spot like a champ.
There are, of course, plenty of colleges and universities gracing this Floridian tip. With an exception for Alexandria, that seems to be the only commonality between all these sextoy-tastic cities! Could that be the answer?