Everybody loves a cake. Be it birthday cake, Christmas cake, wedding cake, things made from cheese or carrot cake or any other kind of magically delicious sweetness, you are sure to find something that suits your sugary taste buds. From as far back as can be remembered, that big slab of deliciousness has always been the centerpiece of an exquisite dinner table and the piece de resistance in cooking presentations. Originally consisting of nuts and dry fruit with a dash of honey for that special kick, cakes back then were not so unlike the ones we find today. And who do we have to thank for this wonderfully yummy concoction? Well it is still yet to be decided; however the Egyptians displayed evidence of advanced baking skills worthy of competing on baking reality TV shows of today.
However it was not until the mid-19th century that cakes morphed into the supple decorated mounds that we lap up after a heavy dinner. With white flour, baking powder and icing coming into the mix (see what I did there?), cakes really started to up their game. Of course, that held true especially in the USA, with its love for all things unhealthy with butter cream frosting and modern day pastries.
Coming in all different shapes and sizes, from the fancy French Gateaux to the ever so English Victoria sponge, cakes can be anything you want them to be. Whatever the occasion, cakes are a sure thing to spruce up a rather dull luncheon, becoming the main event that you look forward to. However some cakes aren’t always done with the right thought in mind and can truly leave a lasting impression all for the wrong reasons. So to celebrate this most wonderful invention, here are the top ten most inappropriate cakes.
10. The LeAnn Rimes Cake
When LeAnn Rimes shared the cake she bought for now husband Eddie Cibrian’s 39th birthday, people began to question her exact intentions. Was it her need to severely P.O. Eddie’s ex-wife and long term rival Brandi Glanville or just a complete act in stupidity? Whatever the reason, the ‘Eddie’s favorite things’ cake backfired. Containing a red velvet center and white sugary icing, the cake itself wasn’t that bad, yet it was the decoration that really rattled people’s opinions. While the center piece shows the two of them questionably under the sheets, the bottom half strangely displays Cibrian’s sons patiently waiting for them to finish what they are supposedly doing in the first place….. What was she thinking?!
9. Surgery Cake
Dubbed as the world’s most monstrous cakes, these morbid creations are the work of Conjurer’s Kitchen, a company that appeals to the darkest of one’s inner shadows. With blood and guts a common theme, it’s the icing-covered spilled organs that are the most popular. Mixing a wild baking skill set with a unhealthy obsession with grisly body art, the cakes range from horses heads and severed tentacles to taxidermy-inspired design. With a cake for every event, you’ll be sure to find something for even the most monstrous of friends.
8. The “P” Cake
Starting with a bang, whoever said romance was dead clearly never had a genitalia cake presented to them. Gifted as a Valentine’s Day-style present, ‘Pure Romance’ displays the purity of one’s inner beauty, with a giant phallus taking center stage underneath a pair of blossoming tighty-whities. Steering away from the regular foundation of red shaped hearts, flowers, or a red velvet, ‘Pure Romance’ sure knows how to put the “hard” in hardcore, although the red hearts are a nice touch.
7. Baby Cake
Winning the award for the most vile, gross, and insane cake on the list, this baby shower confection shows why some events should really be left, well, alone. Portraying the birth of a newborn baby, the cake delivers on all accounts – even with an added edible umbilical cord. Hmmmm yummy… With creepy blue tones mixed with the ghoulish sight of after- birth, nothing says congratulations on pushing a human out more than a delicacy of placenta and pudding. Next time, some diapers and a rattle will do just fine.
6. 9/11 Cake
We found this one on a website forum for extremist women, and this shocking cake surpasses all levels of inappropriateness and goes straight into outright disturbing. With the site dedicated to female ISIS supporters who raise money for families of jailed terrorists, the sickening image displays a homemade cake celebrating the anniversary of the atrocities of 9/11. Very disturbing are the candles depicting the numbers of that fateful day and an outlined Osama Bin Laden taking center stage. However it is the sickening image of the twin towers and a large toy plane that really resonates, placing this near the top of this unfortunate list of atrocious cakes.
5. Birthday Cake
Birthdays are always fun: music, drinks, friends and of course the numerous presents. However, the older you get, the more you tend to dread the next number that is patiently yet scarily sitting just around the corner. So what better than this friendly prompt to get you in the mood for growing older gracefully. With profiteroles portrayed as ovaries and triangle sponge cake as a questionably pinkish vagina, you’ll never look at red laces quite the same again other than as a constant reminder to what you could have achieved.
4. Cat Poo Cake
Scarily looking very much like the real thing, this one really takes the cake when it comes to “crappy” birthday presents. Designed as a real life cat toilet, it is the added cat litter and edible box that really beefs up the beautiful way in which each molecule is carefully constructed. In fact the arrangement is so in depth that you can almost smell the different flavors of fermented cat perfume. Perfect for cat lovers everywhere, this digestible bathroom will please both owners and their feline companions.
3. The Butt Cake
We can all get a little shy sometimes, especially when it comes to what we like to do in bed. So what better way than to have it spelled out for you, in all its glory, written across a giant cake. Celebrating his girlfriend’s birthday, this boyfriend and probable soon to be ex-boyfriend decided to ask that number one question via icy frosting goodness, suspiciously colored in a muddy brown. With the answer going unknown we can only wonder whether cake really is the true way to a woman’s backside, ahem, heart.
2. Human Centipede Cake
What could be more fun than to blend the world’s most disgusting movie with the supple taste of a sweet and sensual sponge cake? That’s right, taking the grotesque fantasies of filmmaker Tom Six’s notorious The Human Centipede, in which 3 tourists are kidnapped by a German surgeon and surgically attached from mouth to anus. This wonderful birthday surprise portrays just that, with the 3 main stars melted in marzipan, joined at both ends on a sugary bed of sprinkles.
1. Divorce Cake
Revenge is sweet- so much so that divorce cakes are a popular occurrence, rivaling that of their predecessor, the classic wedding cake. With the end of a marriage now becoming a celebration, rather than a depressing state of affairs, divorce cakes have never been so high in demand. With some displaying a more serious side and others portraying a hilarious insight into one’s sense of humor, the cakes range from bloody gore fests to gravestones. Well, they do say revenge is a dish best served cold.