No matter who you are or what you do, as humans past a certain age, we are sexual beings. As industry standards relax and the world becomes more accepting, people are becoming more open about their sexual desires and fantasy, and that extends to film and television. Shows as popular as The Office, The Simpsons, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia have their fair share of mild perverts and weirdos, and big name film stars such as Philip Seymour-Hoffman, James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal have played some sexually questionable characters in their time.
However, certain people have extremely weird sexual desires, and downright outlandish fantasies. Frankly, as long as everything is consensual and no one gets hurt (unless they kinda want to), there’s nothing wrong with having a weird fetish, and more power to the writers of these shows for letting their characters be so real. That doesn’t change the fact some of these fetishes are absolutely bizarre, and since the shows and films typically either played them for laughs or gasps in the first place, it’s hard to feel bad sensationalizing them.
Some of these fetishes are so weird there’s not really a name for them yet, while others are relatively standard fare for kink. But to many normal people, even standard kink can be outrageously adventurous, making these 10 characters seem like sexual explorers.
10. Troy McClure Sleeps With The Fishes
Certain members of the mob aside, people feared for the worst when they heard “Troy McClure sleeps with the fishes.” As it turned out, the legendary actor you may remember from The Simpsons episode “A Fish Called Selma” (Season 7, Episode 19; amongst others) actually had a very weird, dark secret.
The episode (thankfully) never gets too in-depth into the details of how exactly this fish sex plays out, but at the same time, it’s actually not nearly as disturbing as thinking about having sex with Selma Bouvier, McClure’s new bride. The new couple seem to keep a giant aquarium in the walls of their bedroom, which presumably help Troy get over some the less flattering qualities of his new spouse.
9. Jan Levinson Has a Schoolgirl Fetish
Jan is extremely controlling, and possibly a little bit crazy, both of which actually seemed to work to her advantage career-wise, at least for the first few seasons of The Office. Unfortunately, that same control streak extends to her sex life, and her boyfriend, Michael Scott, grew increasingly uncomfortable with her sexual desires as their relationship expanded.
In Season 3, Episode 22, “Women’s Appreciation,” Michael tells his female friends at Dunder-Mifflin about Jan’s sexual roleplay, and at first they seem to relate to Jan. When Michael elaborates Jan’s fantasy is of the schoolgirl variety, Karen goes so far as to point out how common that is—until Michael points out he’s the one wearing the outfit, and not entirely by choice. Jan also makes Michael sleep at the foot of her bed, and may or may not have taken her underage assistant’s virginity.
8. Drew Carey Dated A Furry
The Drew Carey Show was a very cookie-cutter sitcom, about an average man with an average life and an average job. His average friends and his average family set him up on dates with inexplicably gorgeous, above-average women, and he finds mundane flaws in them most people would gladly overlook for someone so intensely out of their league, as has happened at least five times in just about every sitcom since 1970.
However, Drew and friends took this trope to the extreme in Season 8, Episode 6, “Mama Told Me I Should Come,” when it’s revealed Drew’s otherwise perfect new girlfriend prefers to have sex while wearing a squirrel costume. Credit where credit is due, Drew tries his damnedest to go along with his girlfriend’s fetish, even buying his own minimalistic fur-suit. Unfortunately, however, as with most perfect-but-flawed sitcom girlfriends, Drew finds he can’t quite get over her quirk, and the two break up.
7. Dennis Reynolds Almost Had Intercourse With A Teenage Boy
It’s hard to pinpoint what exactly Dennis’s fetish is in It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia‘s “Frank’s Back In Business” (Season 8, Episode 7). We don’t know the exact age of the child in question (he could be a very young-looking 18), and gayness is not at all a fetish, but Dennis Reynolds isn’t gay. Dennis is attempting to “get off,” clearly in a sexual manner, by stealing the identity of Brian LeFevre, a man he and the Gang stumbled upon earlier in the episode.
For a moment, it appears LeFevre ordered a young male prostitute, and Dennis’s sexual satisfaction relies on completely becoming the apparent pervert. It’s hard to look at such a serious potential crime and turn it into a fetish, but Dennis only needs to pause and take a few breaths before jumping on the opportunity…only to be extremely disappointed when he realizes the boy isn’t a prostitute, but rather a simple caddy.
6. Dwight Schrute Likes Anime
It’s from a deleted scene, but it fits in well with what we know of Dwight. In “Hot Girl” (Season 1, Episode 6), the men of the office become infatuated with the visiting Amy Adams, with Michael, Dwight and eventually Jim all competing for her affections. While Michael and Dwight both publically reveal they simply aren’t great with women, Dwight privately reveals something far stranger to the camera as he discusses his idea of the “perfect girlfriend.” He has a picture on hand, and yep, she’s a cartoon.
Dwight explains his love of “Konikotaka” is based on her “incredible backstory,” but anyone with a passing knowledge of this particular sub-culture knows the real meat of her story is probably the “monster rape” Dwight mentions, almost dismissively. He also wears a shirt featuring her image in “Basketball,” so his fandom is at least somewhat canon.
5. “Happiness” Is An Incredibly Messed Up Movie
Virtually every adult character in Todd Solondz’ Happiness has some bizarre sexual inclination, and many of them are downright illegal. Dylan Baker’s main character of the extremely dark film is a pedophile, and we won’t insult the other fetishes on this list by comparing his deplorable crimes to the simply weird inclinations of others.
However, while also illegal, the weird phone sex between Philip Seymour Hoffman’s Alan and Lara Flynn Boyle’s Helen comes a lot closer to fitting the bill. Phone sex itself isn’t exactly a fetish, but Hoffman calls random women out of a phonebook and essentially sexually threatens them while blatantly masturbating, sometimes extremely drunk.
Somehow even weirder is Helen, who is clearly sexually dissatisfied in life despite her fame, success and popularity, until the obscene phone call finally excites her and turns her on. Unfortunately for all our characters, she quickly learns her fetish absolutely cannot translate to a relationship, especially not with a guy who looks like Philip Seymour-Hoffman.
4. Peter and Lois Griffin Own a Gimp Suit
Peter and Lois Griffin, like Homer and Marge Simpson before them, are extremely sexual for married suburbanites. While Homer and Marge simply kept things rocking in the bedroom, the Family Guy couple have regularly been seen getting extremely freaky. Case in point, Season 2, Episode 14, “Let’s Go to the Hop,” where both of them put on leather body suits.
The fact the happily married couple owns these suits is shocking enough, but the blasé, routine nature in which they put the suits on is the real surprise. These two not only are into some really kinky stuff, but it’s become just another part of their day. That is, until the last “I love you” gets spoken. Then the mouth gets zipped up, and Peter is not to say anything unless it’s the safety word, which, by the way, is banana.
3. “Crash” Turns Car Crashes Into Meet Cutes
While the later and more successful Crash was a landmark film in race relations, David Cronenberg’s 1996 film of the same name was an absolute landmark in car crash-related sexual relations. For most people it’s hard to imagine a serious car crash as an aphrodisiac, but from very early on in this film it starts to feel like Demolition Derbies could replace Viagra any day now.
James Spader and Holly Hunter play James and Dr. Remington, two people who meet after their cars collide in a terrible accident, and naturally start a sexual relationship. Once Elias Koteas joins the picture as Vaughan, Crash presents the philosophy that car crashes are not violent, destructive, and terrible tragedies, but rather some of the world’s choicest foreplay. We’ll keep wearing our seatbelts anyway, just in case.
2. “Secretary” Takes Submission To A Scary New Level
James Spader has always possessed a raw, sexual charisma that is hard for others to define, and even harder to imitate. In Steven Shainberg’s Secretary, he plays E. Edward Grey, and that sexual charisma is used in a manner most would find truly horrifying. However, to Maggie Gyllenhaal’s Lee Holloway, nothing could be more sexually enticing.
Many people, both in real life and within the film, find the idea of a complete dom-sub relationship to be almost inhumane for the submissive, and imagine the dominant must be a true monster, and that may often be the case. But the truly disturbing part of Secretary is the sexual glee Lee shows while Grey controls and punishes her, not whatever it is Grey gets out of the relationship.
1. Everyone on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” Is Into Spanking
Especially with the advent of 50 Shades of Grey, the idea of light BDSM is becoming more and more commonplace, and none of the Scoobies are anywhere near Secretary territory. But there’s still something to be said about the fact everyone in Sunnydale appears to both own a pair of handcuffs and openly enjoy sexual spanking.
Anya flat out announces she and Xander enjoy spanking in “The I In Team,” (Season 4, Episode 13), and in the same episode Willow sadly claims that due to her recent breakup with Oz, “everyone is being spanked but me.” In “Band Candy” (Season 3, Episode 6), Giles and Joyce have some kind of sex involving stolen handcuffs, and although never implicit, various sex scenes involving Buffy, Faith, Riley and Spike (not all at the same time!) all hinted at more than just a little roughness.
At least those other Scoobies didn’t make the list. That’d be real weird.