Men and women tend to differ on the subject of kids. Little girls usually grow up taking care of baby dolls and love to play house. As little girls grow into teenagers, many will spend hours on the phone with their friends talking about who they want to marry, where they want to live, but almost especially how many kids they want to have.
Little boys spend their time wondering if the dog will scream if they try to ride it like a horse. Teenage boys trash-talk their friends while playing video games. Having children seems to matter less to men than to women.
A big part of the trend is biological. Women have a limited number of years where they can bear healthy children. The physical toll on a mom and the health risks to the baby go up with each year that passes. So, the proverbial “biological clock” is constantly ticking. For men, that same clock has no hands on it and the alarm is used to only sound upon death. With new technology, men can bear children even years after they pass. There is no rush. The time to have a baby for men is is longer than watching Braveheart in slow motion.
But the men on this list are different because they basically won fatherhood. The pitter patter of little feet turned into stomping rumbles like a herd of bison. Just like the 10 Mothers Who Gave Birth to the Most Children, read on to learn more about the men who love it when you call them Big Poppa.
10. Ramses II – Over 100 children
When a man has a lot of kids, people may say, “You could start a basketball team.” Well, if basketball were around 3,000 years ago, Ramses II could have started twenty basketball teams. With at least 100 children, Ramses II got busy gettin’ busy. Ramses was proud of his fertility, too. He put giant depictions of his kids on temple walls in Egypt and helped several become king. One of his children became so famous that he had awesome nicknames like “Fanbearer on the King’s Right Hand”, “Hereditary Prince”, and the coolest of them all, “Generalissimo.” With nicknames like that, it is uncertain if his oldest son was a prince or a professional wrestler – more research must be done.
9. Misheck Doctor Nyandoro – 128 children
Nyandoro of Zimbabwe is easily the most fiscally-minded father on the list. He clearly watches the bottom line because he says he only marries his wives based on economic conditions. He says that when economic conditions went bad in 2002, he stopped marrying. But now that the economy has improved, he has already made plans to add three new wives to his 15-wife roster. With 128 children, Nyandoro is smart to mind his money.
The best part is that he does not actually work, but says he is the community manager who provides timely feedback on his wives’ daily cooking and offers management opportunities for the older boys by letting them be in charge of the other kids. Summer internships on his compound cannot yet be confirmed.
8. Anonymous Donor – 150 children
When looking for a mate online, usually people will check for looks, height, occupation, and interests. For the children of an anonymous American donor, they should also check that they are not shacking up with a sibling. One of the donor’s recipients set up a registry for their son so he could get to know his half siblings. When the site had more users than Facebook, the recipient knew there was a problem.
This anonymous donor is now confirmed to have at least 150 children. This is due partially because the United States has no limit on how many times a man’s sperm can be donated. Seems like “who’s your daddy” should be a part of the dating-site matching algorithms.
7. Jack Kigongo – 158 children
If it is one thing you could call ol’ Jack, it certainly was not lonely. Coming in at a whopping 158 children, Kigongo has earned a spot on the list. To help accomplish this amazing feat, Jack reportedly had 11 wives until his death in 2012. But do not think Jack just marries anybody – Jack was only married a total of 20 times in his 103-year old life. Ok, maybe he did just marry anybody.
Jack’s oldest child, though, is a son over 60, and his youngest child is nearly 18. It is not often that a teenager can have their big brother get them a senior citizen’s discount at Denny’s – assuming of course Denny’s is the restaurant of choice in Uganda. Likely not.
6. Ancentus “Danger” Akuku – 160 children
With a nickname like “Danger,” it is little wonder how Acentus Akuku of Nairobi, Kenya managed to sire nearly 160 children. Danger was definitely no deadbeat dad, though. He built both a school and a church in his home town just for his kids.
Back in Akuku’s day, polygamy was the norm, but that did not stop Danger from trading up on occasion. To compliment his 100 marriages, he was divorced 30 times. He was actually married and divorced more times than most people are in several lifetimes. Wedding planners in Kenya probably saw dollar signs in their eyes each time Danger called – divorce lawyers, too.
5. Sobhuza II – 210 children
There was not much that could keep Sobhuza’s libido down while becoming the longest reigning monarch in history. His 210 children are a monument to his conquests as the King of Swaziland for over 80 years. Sobhuza II actually maintained a typical sized family, having three kids on average… Except it was with 70 different wives.
Sadly, some of the kids did not make it past infancy. Around 180 did survive and even thrived, many of them staying in the community permanently. One of his children, Seidou, took over as ruler of the land for nearly 60 years after Sobhuza II’s death. It is all in the family.
4. Augustus II the Strong – 354 children
It is unclear whether Augustus II moonlighted as a pimp with that name or whether this was legit. What is clear is that Mr. “the Strong” loved to live large as a king in Germany in the 17th and 18th centuries. His money, parties, and womanizing tendencies lead to rumors of Augustus II having fathered over 300 children.
History books are refuting this number now. The only confirmed number of children are closer to nine. But with fantastic celebrations, mistresses, and lavish living, the rumors may ring true.
3. Bertold Wiesner – 600 children
There is a big difference between adding in a secret ingredient to a Taco Bell burrito for your buddies and what Bertold Wiesner did for his patients. The Austrian-born physiologist put a little bit of himself in helping his patients at a fertility clinic set up by him and his wife. His goal was to help London couples in the 1940s find high IQ sperm donors, but Wisener decided that finding actual donors was too much work and decided to make deposits on their behalf.
Two of his children found they were conceived by artificial insemination and that Wiesner was their father. Further investigations have revealed that before Wiesner’s death in 1972, he fathered nearly 600 children. The number of children Wiesner claimed legitimately? One.
2. Ismail Ibn Sharif – 888 children
Now introducing the Sultan of Morocco and baby-daddy to 888 children, Ismail Ibn Sharif! What makes the story even weirder is that he reportedly only wanted sons to carry on his lineage and had all of the female babies killed instantly. To make sure that he was the only evil man in his concubines’ lives, he slaughtered the ones he thought were sleeping with other men and mutilated the others. Even the men who wanted some of his women were murdered.
Researchers have wondered if fathering this many children was possible and it turns out to be true. If Sharif managed to get down with one of his women every day for over three decades and time their ovulation properly, it is probable he could have had even more children. With that kind of fertility, Viagara should probably just change its name to Sharif.
1. Genghis Khan – Infinity children (but more likely anything between 1000-2000)
Genghis Khan was such a prolific papa that international geneticists are convinced nearly 8 percent of men in Khan’s former empire are believed to descend from this one man – talk about spreading your seed. Time and cultural influences played a part in giving Khan such an impressive genetic footprint. His Mongol empire ruled for hundreds of years on vast amounts of land and coupled with keeping concubines, Khan was not exactly the guy at the end of the bar practicing pick up lines.
The researchers found through tracing the Y chromosome (because it remains relatively unchanged through generations) that men in many different regions shared the same DNA. The result is that nearly 1 in 200 men are believed to descend from the ruler. “Khan, party of 20 million?”