Have you ever wanted to close your eyes, think of a specific location and be transported there immediately? We know we have, especially when our feet and calves start aching. Walking sucks, everyone knows that. So does biking, unless you’re one of those maniacs who care about physical and environmental health. Driving could be fun but still, it can take a while to get to where you’re going. For a long time, there’s been talk of a really fast (instant, actually) method of transportation that’s also great for the environment. It’s called teleportation.
Think of all those times you were late beyond reasonable hope for school, or how you really wanted to play frisbee but had no friends. Think of how you’d have loved to mash a banana cream pie right into your employer’s face on your last day of work and disappear with a happy ‘Toodle-oo’ before he can come at you with the office axe.
We’ve dug some content out of the overgrowth of objective truth that is the internet, and in doing so we’ve unearthed some folk tales and video footage that may very well serve as tangible hope for that banana cream toodle-oo yet.
Take care to note that we are the wide-eyed messengers of hope and magic in the world. These entries are ours to report, and their validity is yours to judge. Now, decalcify that third eye and feast your dreams on these.
15. Rudolph Fentz
To those who research modern and ancient mysteries in Europe, this story is often used as a reference to time travel and, in relation, teleportation. The incident is commonly known as the Fentz case.
In Times Square, New York City, late into a hot June night in 1950, a very strange looking man of about 30 years old appeared out of nowhere, in the midst of traffic. He looked extremely out of place, wearing quaint, super vintage clothing and sporting mutton-chop whiskers. When the man appeared, he was overwhelmed by his surroundings. When he tried to make a run from the cars, he was hit and killed by an oncoming taxi.
When the police searched the man, they found on him antique currency, old business cards in the name of Rudolph Fentz, and a letter sent to Fentz marked in 1876. Of course, a thorough investigation followed. Turns out, there was a man by the name of Rudolph Fentz who had mysteriously gone missing in 1876, and the address of the man matched the one police had found on the body.
14. Not The Beamer…
If teleportation does exist and all new teleporters need to learn how to teleport at teleportation school, we would think that one of the first things the teleportation professor teaches the teleportation students is not to teleport into the middle of a busy intersection. If that’s not teleportation 101, it bloody well should be.
Either way, this person clearly missed out on teleportation school. They appeared completely out of the blue, right when this sweet Beamer was innocently making its way along the road. Out of all cars to ruin via clumsy teleportation, did it really have to be the Beamer?
Seriously though, excuse us, but where the blast did that car come from? Did it come from literally nowhere at all, like our eyes seem to be telling us? Video editing sure is a prevalent thing, but is a cheap trick really worth the bruising of a sweet Beamer?
13. The Teleporting Cell Phone Of South Africa
Whether we can digest it or not, some incidences have no explanation outside of the paranormal. This is one of them. A South African worker was on his way to a power station close to Gordens Bay, South Africa in 2003. He had a colleague driving in front of him on the way there. They were close enough that the colleague bore fair witness to the fact that our man was communicating on a cell phone during a certain point of the drive.
After he was done with it, the worker put the cell phone on the open seat next to him, not expecting anything abnormal to happen. All of a sudden he was overtaken with a strange feeling. When he looked to the open seat, the cell phone was gone. He and his colleague proceeded to look everywhere in the power station parking lot for the phone, but it was nowhere to be found. The colleague kept calling the phone, and eventually they heard its faint ringtone—except it was coming from a stranger’s locked car. They approached the car and, sure enough, there the cell phone was! Now, what on Earth was it doing there?!
12. Teleportation On Two Wheels
Don’t believe in teleportation? Fine, we’re not totally sold on either side of the conversation ourselves. But please, do take a look at the clip above and explain to us what on Earth is going on there.
From what we can observe, one gentleman is talking to another. One of them is holding an accordion, but in the context of the video, that doesn’t matter at all. They’re speaking Russian, which we don’t happen to understand, but the content of their conversation is equally meaningless here. What does matter is that a man riding a bicycle suddenly appears in the background of the video, completely out of the blue, and proceeds to just ride away. Clever video editing, you say? Fine, that could be, but please point out to us the exact sequence where the bicycle man was spliced into the video. No frame was detectably frozen, from what we can observe. Rational explanation, anyone? Or did we just see some legit teleportation?
11. Our Hero
This video has been circulated enough for it to be considered modern Chinese lore. Shot by a street cam monitoring an intersection, it shows a man on a bicycle about to get demolished by an oncoming truck going full speed. Before the deadly impact occurs, a hooded person appears to put their hands on the biker and teleport him to the curb safely. The mysterious strangers hands glow for a second before they place them in their pockets and walk away. Neither the biker nor the truck driver seem to have any ideas on what just happened.
Nickelback once sang, “And they say that a hero could save us.” We assume that they were talking about this hooded stranger walking the streets in China, who just goes around doing whatever is right, whenever it’s possible. If you sense that evil is coming and are looking to put a team of mutants together, sourcing this video would be a good start.
10. Irma’s Keys
At 85 years old, this one lady (referred to in the story as Irma) didn’t have much of a penchant for the supernatural. With her senior years came a graduation into a more mature occupation of mind. Of course, that’s not to say that the supernatural didn’t have its mind on her.
One day Irma was out to lunch with her two girl friends. On the way to the restaurant, Irma realised that she was missing her keys. Frustrated, she checked her pockets and surrounding area frantically (she doesn’t carry a purse), but the keys were nowhere to be found. When they arrived at their destination, the three women looked in all crevices of the car, and the keys still didn’t show up. One of them suggested that they go in, have their lunch, and give the car another look when they got back.
So they had lunch, paid the bill, and as they were walking out, a waitress called out to them and said, “One of you ladies left your keys.” There the keys were, on the table, clear as day.
9. Hey, Be Careful!
You ever drive down the highway, eyes on the open road, mind on whatever it chooses to rest on, when suddenly a dazed stranger appears in the middle of the highway and almost gets themselves and everyone in the vicinity killed? No? Well admittedly, it hasn’t happened to us either. Thank the gods, because we’re not sure we would have emerged from something like that as luckily as the drivers in the video did.
Check it out for yourself. The truck in front of the driver suddenly veers, steering out of the way of an obstacle that just appeared on the road, out of nowhere. As the driver advances (with caution), we see someone taking their sweet time to cross the highway. They seemingly appeared in the middle of the two lanes out of nowhere, and made their way to the side of the road as if it were a walk down the park.
8. Fresh Out Of The Academy
From what we can observe, this person has just recently learned about or acquired his powers, and so he’s having some trouble controlling them. The sheer angst must be enough to drive him crazy. Oh, boo-hoo! If you don’t like your mutant superpowers, hand them over to us. Please, please!
Fine, anyway… this video shows a hooded young man walking down a busy street, when his hands begin to glow seemingly outside of his control. He looks around, paranoid of getting caught, and proceeds to sprint down the street, presumably looking for some privacy. Our faithful cameraman tails him until they arrive at a busy street. The cameraman stops, as he is faithful but not that faithful, but the mutant continues despite the oncoming bus, which he casually teleports right through to get to the other side of the street. Fake? Maybe, but if so, did the filmmakers really risk the actor getting hit by a bus just to pull the video off?
7. The Vidals
This is another well-known case of the paranormal—the story of Dr. Geraldo Vidal. In May 1968, renowned attorney Dr. Vidal and his wife, Mrs. Raffo de Vidal planned to attend a family get-together in a city called Chascomus, about 120 km away from Buenos Aires. They left the gathering a little after midnight to head to Maipu, a community not too far away where they also had some friends and relatives.
The Vidals were riding along with another couple on their way to the same destination. That couple arrived on time as planned, but the Vidals did not, which raised some concern. The ensuing search proved fruitless, and friends and family of the Vidals were left to assume the worst. Thankfully, 48 hours later the relatives in Maipu received a call from Dr. Vidal from the Argentinian consulate in Mexico City, approximately 6,400 kilometres away from Maipu. The Vidals were there, and they were safe.
According to the Vidals, as they were driving along the outskirts of Chascomus, a dense fog materialized around the car, and from that point the couple could not recall anything until they woke up 48 hours later in Mexico City.
6. Jumper Messing With The Police
If we had teleportation powers, there are a number of things we’d do with them. Like stealing a pen in the oval office, or taking a quick selfie on top of the Statue of Liberty’s crown. Messing with the police during a car chase would be pretty far down the list but it’s on there, for sure. The person in this video did so subtly, and with some style.
During a car chase (sometime in the 90s, according to the video’s description), police are tailing a vehicle whose zig-zag driving patterns seems to indicate some degree of trolling. The cops, true to their badge, stay right on the driver’s tail until the very end. That is, until the driver takes a hard left turn seemingly through a fence and drives off, leaving the cops totally perplexed. The fence shows no sign of damage, implying that the driver teleported right through it to get to the other side.
5. Teleportation Girl
The person operating the camera seems to be on a specific lookout for strange things occurring in the streets at night. A strange thing was indeed captured, for sure—a hooded young woman, taking off into a sprint without warning before she disappears completely in a bright orange glow. The video goes on to show footage taken from the camera of a supermarket, where the same young woman uses some good old-fashioned telekinesis to pick items out of high shelves and move carriages out of the way.
The video’s title seems to suggest that this is part of an ongoing search for the teleportation girl. We don’t believe she’s the same hooded stranger as the ones documented above, since her aura is orange instead of being white or blue. Have you spotted this mysterious young woman teleporting around your neighborhood? Call it in, call it in, we have much to ask her.
4. Gil Perez
This is a case straight out of the official records of Mexico, and it’s a case that was never solved. We don’t blame anyone for that, because it’s downright mind-boggling.
In Mexico City on October 25, 1593, soldiers were standing guard on the plaza by the palace. This morning, one soldier stood out starkly from the rest. He was dressed in a foreign costume, and his musket was completely different from the other soldiers’. He looked visibly confused. When questioned by the authorities, he said this: “My name is Gil Perez. As to standing sentry here – why I am merely doing as nearly as possible what I was ordered to do. I was ordered this morning to mount Guard at the doors of the Governor’s palace in Manila . I know very well this is not the Governor’s palace – and evidently I am not in Manila . Why or how that may be I do not know. But here I am and this a Palace of some kind so I am doing my duty as nearly as possible.” He added that the Governor of the Philippines, Don Gomez Perez Dasmarinas, had his head broken with an axe and was killed by the blow.
When Perez was told he was in Mexico City, on the other side of the world, he was baffled, as was everyone else. Not sure what to do, they jailed Perez for two months until a ship from the Philippines arrived to the city. The soldiers on board recognized Perez, and confirmed that he had been in Manila the day before he appeared in Mexico City. In a time before planes, how exactly does someone travel to the other side of the world overnight?
Finally, some science! The legitimacy in this entry should be more than enough to balance out the ambiguity of the rest. Anyway, scientists have actually figured out how to practice teleportation… at the atomic level. Sorry folks, they’re still a long, long minute away from being able to instantaneously transmit you to the moon and back.
Instead of transforming matter, scientists are able to teleport or transform information from one place to another. As the example in the video goes, picture two dice any distance apart from each other. Each time you would flip one dice, the other would flip the same way, landing on the same number. The team of scientists in the video were able to apply the gist of that idea to tiny, tiny particles. The way they do this is through quantum entanglement, something way beyond the scope of this entry. All you need to know for now is: Teleportation = Science. Yay!
2. Sneaky Spectacles
This story suggests that, regardless of your ocular capacity, you can never see clearly enough to understand everything about the world you live in. An anonymous teller recounts a story where she misplaced her glasses. Glasses are important, some people can’t see a darn thing without them, so obviously this person turned her house upside down in hopes of finding them. What did her hard efforts result in? Absolutely nothing. She asked her boyfriend if he happened to come across the pair. Did he? Absolutely not. So she gave up, thinking about the trip she’d have to make to the spectacle shop and the resulting lightness of her wallet. She sat down on the couch to take a breather, and as she sat down, she felt something punch her right in the buttocks. It felt alive, like a mouse. She took the couch cushion off to have a look, and there were her glasses! Strange, strange, strange… how did they get there?
1. Doing It With Style
One thing’s for sure: if we ever pick up the art of teleportation, the first place we’ll snap our fingers to will be the motorcycle shop, so we can pick ourselves up a sweet pair of silver wheels. There’s something about being a mutant that makes owning a motorcycle seem so necessary.
The teleporter in the above video shares our respect for the wheels, and the poor working man who witnessed the event shares our imagined bafflement at seeing the impossible. Watch as the slick alien/evolved human/hybrid whatever strolls right past the worker before vanishing into thin air. The worker is awestruck, looking left and right, perhaps wishing the mutant would have taken him along for the ride.
Fake? Well, there’s a timer on the video, so it can’t possibly be… or maybe it is. That’s for you to judge, we’re just faithful relayers of the strange. Don’t even try to shoot the messenger. We’ll just teleport right the f*** away. Toodle-oo.