Lindsay Lohan has been entertaining us all for years- on and off screen. At this point she is viewed as more of a tabloid fixture than an actress, which is pretty sad since she is actually very talented. These days, we hear more about who Lindsay is hanging out with, what she is wearing, and what she is doing more than we hear about any acting projects.
Lindsay has done some pretty outrageous things during her lifetime. From the multiple stints in rehab, to her many arrests, to her long celebrity sex list, to the controversial quotes, there are so many interesting Lindsay Lohan stories all the time. With that said, there are a lot of stories about her that are just so beyond outrageous that they could never actually be true- right? There is just no way that some of these things really happened.
The problem is that it can be tough to distinguish between Lindsay Lohan’s persona and Linday Lohan’s actual actions. At this point, almost anything is believable, whether it is true or not. Then again, many people say that truth is stranger than fiction- so who knows. Nevertheless there are some absolutely insane rumors about Lindsay Lohan. I can’t even believe that some of these things got published and that people actually think they are true, but there are some really odd stories floating around. All publicity is good publicity…right? Well, at least she is still being talked about. And I’m sure that Lindsay got a good laugh from these stories herself. So for what they’re worth, check out fifteen of the most outrageous rumors about Lindsay Lohan.
15. She Wants To Open A Rehab Centre
If there is anyone who has knowledge about rehab, it’s Lindsay Lohan. After all, she has been there more than a few times. Nevertheless, I don’t really feel like that makes her some sort of expert in sobriety. So I find it really weird that anyone actually believed that Lindsay Lohan was planning to open up her own rehab center and name it after herself. Well, this was a news story back in 2013 and RadarOnline had a pretty interesting take on the supposed idea: “She loves the idea and really believes that if her name is attached to it, it will help draw attention to sobriety.” I am gonna have to disagree with this one. No offense, but the name Lindsay Lohan does not immediately associate with sobriety in my mind. At least not at this point. This is not a good idea at all and the story is far from realistic.
14. She Wants To Be A Witch
My initial reaction to the rumors about Lindsay Lohan wanting to be a witch is to laugh, but then again, if witches really do exist I don’t want to upset them and give them a reason to put a spell on me. But anyway, there was a rumor in June 2015 that Lindsay was “obsessed with the occult and wants to be a white witch.” I honestly don’t really know what that means, but a supposed “insider” said, “She loves the idea of taking control of her destiny and wants to be able to do spells, make potions and read tarot and angel cards.” There was also a rumor that she got her role in the play Speed-the-Plow because she had a white witch cast a spell. If Lindsay really had a witch on her side, I have to assume that she would be asking for a lot more than a role in a London play, so I have to call BS on this one for that reason alone.
13. She Rejected Harry Styles
Who does Lindsay Lohan think she is? There is no chance in hell that she did not know who Harry Styles is. Everyone knows who he is, whether they are One Direction fans or not. I also find it hard to believe that Lindsay would ever turn him down… or honestly that he would even hit on her in the first place and choose to involve himself in inevitable drama. Lindsay told The Sun, “He was in a suit. I said, ‘Well, you’re very good-looking – can I help you?’ That was it.” She also added, “It was 2am, I had just come back from an AA meeting. I looked like s**t too.” This story is just not adding up to me at all. I am calling BS on this one. I feel like Harry Styles would never go for this and there is just no way that Lindsay was unfamiliar with who he is.
12. She Is Searching For A Sperm Donor
Wait, what? Why would Lindsay Lohan need a sperm donor? According to supposed “friends” Lindsay was “on the hunt for a no-strings-attached sperm donor.” Well, isn’t that how sperm donors work? I thought that going to a sperm bank was an anonymous process, so I’m kind of confused by the specifics of her inquiry. This next part of the story was truly laughable. Another “source” said, “She wants to do it after having one final party on New Year’s Eve. She truly believes she’ll make a great mom, because she’s learned from all her past mistakes and can devote herself to the child 24/7.” Wanting to have one last rager is really not something that anyone should mention if she was looking for a sperm donation at a fertility clinic… And in all honesty, I don’t know if I can handle Lindsay Lohan taking on motherhood at this point in the game.
11. She Bleached Her Hands
We all know that smoking has some bad side effects, but I didn’t realize that bleaching your hands to get rid of cigarette stains was an actual thing that people do. Some supposed friend of hers stated, “Her nails and fingers are an ugly yellow color. She masks her nails under a dark polish, but she can’t hide her skin.” And the weirder part about this rumor is that Lindsay was supposedly doing this to improve her love life which seems pretty extreme to me, but that same “inside source” explained, “She’s doing whatever she can to make herself look good.” Well, that has to be one of the weirdest gossip stories I’ve ever read. I really can’t imagine that Lindsay would be insecure about supposed cigarette stains on her hands. I just want to know who these supposed insiders are. No one who is her actual friend would ever push a weird story like this.
10. She Was Hooking Up With Tom Cruise
I laughed out loud the moment I read this one. I cannot picture Tom Cruise hooking up with anyone, let alone Lindsay Lohan. I feel like he just has a string of contractually obligated wives and girlfriends who are vetted by the Church of Scientology and I just sincerely doubt that Lindsay would be approved. Although, if this ever did happen, it would be one of the best things that ever happened to me. It would be the most random celebrity couple ever. Move over Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna. And the supposed insiders who revealed this story had the weirdest stuff to say about it too: “She’s head over heels. She recently gushed, ‘He’s the sexiest man alive!’ Tom loves a party, but he’s spent his whole life focused on his career. Lindsay can definitely help him relax and have more fun.” I could never believe a word of that. It is beyond absurd.
9. She Wants To Get Liposuction
First off, Lindsay Lohan does not have a double chin and she never has. We all have a double chin situation depending on the camera angle in photos, but that is all she could ever have. So it’s pretty insane to think that she would do something so severe like get liposuction to get rid of a double chin. Supposedly, Lindsay was “horrified whenever her wobbly wattle pops up in pics,” and she was “ready to put her neck on the line — with liposuction.” The decision to “give the fat-sucking surgery a go” supposedly comes after she “tried almost everything and anything to get rid of her turkey neck.” That is just beyond ridiculous. Lindsay Lohan does not need to get this kind of procedure and neither does anyone else. This is way too extreme a solution for a “problem” that is not at all important. Just angle the camera a different way when you take selfies and guess what? Double chin gone.
8. She Handled Whitney Houston’s Body During Community Service
Lindsay Lohan has a had a few brushes with the law (to put it lightly), so she has had to do a lot of community service as punishment for her (many) indiscretions. Instead of the standard acts of philanthropy like volunteering at a soup kitchen or a children’s hospital, Lindsay was ordered by the court to work at the Los Angeles County morgue. Lindsay started a rumor herself about how she supposedly handled Whitney Houston’s body at the morgue. That’s a pretty crazy thing to say and I’m not sure why she would exploit a sad situation for attention, but apparently that’s what went down since an official for the Los Angeles Coroner’s Office denied Lindsay’s claims that she had handled the late singer’s body during her community service. In all honesty it seemed like a very desperate bid for attention and it was pretty disrespectful to Whitney Houston and her family.
7. She Was Pursuing Prince Harry
I’m really not trying to be offensive, but at this point I really can’t imagine Lindsay Lohan as a mother. She seems to have some trouble taking care of herself, so I really just don’t easily picture Lindsay taking care of a child. Plus, it’s hard to tell how serious any of her romantic relationships are, so I can’t really see her settling down with anyone to co-parent- not that she necessarily needs another person to help her raise a child, but I’m just saying that I can’t fathom her being a mom at any point soon. Well, apparently Lindsay Lohan really has a strong desire to be a mother eventually and she allegedly had a plan to pursue Prince Harry for a sperm donation so she can have ginger babies. And I assume the royal bloodline (and steady money) would be appealing to her as well. Nevertheless, the whole idea is pretty crazy and beyond unrealistic.
6. She Is Running For President In 2020
At this point, I feel like people would vote for any alternative candidate to be the President of the United States, but somehow I don’t think that any American citizens would be desperate enough to vote for Lindsay Lohan. Not to mention that Lindsay has been living in London for the past few years so that doesn’t really make any sense either. Apparently inspired by Kanye West saying he wanted to run for president in 2020 when he accepted a lifetime achievement award at the VMA’s, Lindsay posted a photo on Instagram with a pretty lengthy caption: “In #2020 I may run for president. Through ups and downs #YESWECAN lets do this @kanyewest #truespirits thank you for inspiring us to be better people @barackobama #kanyewest2020 #lindsaylohanat35 #lindsaylohan2020 with #34yearsofEXPERIENCE #unitingWORLDnations @aliforneycenter @savethesociety @unicef.” What “34 years of experience” is she referencing? Her age? And doesn’t she have to be thirty-five to be president? Nothing about this really adds up and there is no chance that it is realistically happening.
5. She Was Searching For A Sugar Daddy
Lindsay Lohan’s financial situation is abundantly unclear. Obviously she has majorly fallen off from her career peak, but I have no idea how much money she has saved or invested along the way. Even so, LiLo doesn’t really have high-paying gigs and I have no idea how steadily she is working. Thank god for those sponsored Instagram posts full of teeth whitening products and detox teas to add to her bank account. So I honestly could see Lindsay Lohan looking for a sugar daddy, but I could never picture her announcing this to anyone. A rumor surfaced that Lindsay is in London to “hunt down a posh English sugar daddy.” Apparently she just wanted to “find a rich man and doesn’t care how old he is” since she wanted to “pull an Anna Nicole Smith.” That did not exactly end well, so I am hoping that plan was never something that Lindsay was striving for.
4. She Wants To Be An Example For Miley Cyrus
I cannot stand it when people try to talk bad about Miley Cyrus. She may wear outrageous clothes, or just go naked most of the time, but she really doesn’t do anything wrong. She doesn’t get in any legal trouble, and she never says anything mean or offensive. Plus she is actually a very good singer who is very professional in regard to her work ethic. So other than being a cautionary tale for Disney stars who have fallen off, I don’t really see why or how Lindsay Lohan could ever be a role model for Miley Cyrus. According to the usual “inside sources,” Lindsay and Miley met up at a nightclub in New York City because Lindsay is ‘trying to help steer [Cyrus] in the right direction.'” Get ready to laugh at this one too: “She’s been on her best behavior, and she’s hoping to be an example for Miley.” I think that it should really be the other way around and I know I’m not the only one who thinks this.
3. She Wanted To Go On Millionaire Matchmaker
Even though Lindsay Lohan is actually engaged right now, her love life is usually pretty unclear. Realistically who knows how long anything is going to last between her and whomever she is dating. Her mother Dina Lohan went on Millionaire Matchmaker to get some romantic help from Patti Stanger- which was a total hot mess in case anyone was wondering- because, yes, I actually did watch that. It would be such a train wreck if Lindsay Lohan went on TV to look for her perfect match. I personally would be all about it and probably end up being the biggest fan of the show, but I just don’t see it happening, especially with the current engagement situation. So what were people saying? Some alleged insiders asked, “Would Lindsay want to be set up with a man or a woman, or have a meet and greet with both? It would have been great television!” I didn’t even think of that and yes, it would definitely make for great TV.
2. She Has A Fear Of Little People
According to a Life & Style article, Lindsay Lohan has a fear of little people.The story stated: “In 2006, at the Chateau Marmont, she was with pals when two little people walked by and she started having a major anxiety attack! She hyperventilated. Someone had to give her an anti-anxiety pill to calm her down. She kept saying, ‘I’m so scared of them!” So there is no actual evidence of this- I’m so shocked. This is so unlike a tabloid magazine (cue my eye roll). The other weird thing is that this rumor started up in 2013 and the only point that is used to validate the claim is from seven years before, so that’s really not at all relevant and it is most likely not at all accurate. I have no idea why anyone would want to make this up or what kind of person would ever come up with such a random rumor.
1. She Is Banned From Britney’s Las Vegas Show
This actually makes a lot of sense to me. We have all heard about how controlling Mr. Spears is when it comes to his daughter’s career, so I would not be at all shocked if he did not want Lindsay Lohan hanging around Britney Spears. There is not one time that it seems like that went over well in the past. Sure, it seems like Brit and LiLo have mellowed out from their craziest party days, but I just don’t think it’s that out of this world to imagine Jamie Spears banning Lindsay from Britney’s shows. According to a tabloid magazine article, “Jamie has a really strict ‘No Lindsay’ rule.” And that “after Britney’s rough year in 2007, Jamie decided that Lindsay was a terrible influence and doesn’t want her around ever again.” I really don’t feel like Lindsay and Britney have anything in common and as a Britney super-fan, I, too, am worried about her returning to that dark era of 2007, so I hope to God that this Lindsay ban is a real thing.