Change. Either that word inspires dreams of hope or shivers of discomfort. Whether you fall on one side or the other, change is inevitable. Almost everything in this world is in flux, constantly subject to whatever lies just beyond the hours of tomorrow. It’s in that flux where the biggest differences can occur, some of them good, some of them bad, and others that make you question what they were really thinking.
Recognizing that change is not only inevitable but also necessary, some have taken it into their own hands to propose change in specific areas. Originally, it began as White House Petitions, where said ideas would get sent to the Executive Mansion (though I have yet to see anything come of that). Today we have many other ways to get petitions going, such as Change.org. Ways that are full of more ridiculous than great ideas, to be honest.
Because of our freedom as American citizens to propose change, naturally that led to some rather interesting results. I once came across a petition on Change.org from a teenage girl who wanted an iPhone because she had every other Apple product, yet her parents wouldn’t get her one. Believe me, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Both White House Petitions and Change are packed to the brim with such crazy ideas that you can’t help but wonder why in the world people would actually sign them in the first place.
Get your pens out and show your support with these 15 crazy petitions you wouldn’t believe got so many signatures.
15. Let Bert And Ernie Get Married
Sesame Street has been the target of some controversial issues over the past several years. This is mostly because of how famed of a children’s show it is. The public wants their kids to watch something that teaches them about current political standings of today. A few years ago, that said issue was homosexuality. There had been many theories up to that point that Bert and Ernie were a gay couple, but it had never really been taken very far. That is, until, a petition began on Change.org to allow for Bert and Ernie to get married, showing young kids “the importance of tolerance” and how to react to those of a different sexual orientation. Naturally, there was a good amount of support behind it, a total of about 11,000 signatures. It never reached its goal though, and is currently closed. What makes this petition ridiculous is that those that want to educate their kids about such matters most likely have better ways to go about it than simply campaigning for characters to express that lifestyle (it’s a little counterproductive). That, and the fact that this petition was run before the Supreme Court allowed for same-sex marriage.
14. Change The National Anthem To “Ignition”
Our national anthem is one of the most well-recognized songs in America, and just about anyone you meet in our country could sing the whole thing to you. However, due to it being old and out of date, it doesn’t quite match up with some of the popular music of today. That’s why some people proposed to change the Star Spangled Banner to something a little bit more upbeat. Keep in mind, this was a White House Petition that went straight to the higher-ups to change our National Anthem to Ignition by R. Kelly. Why would America need something like this you may ask? Well, in order to allow Beyonce to yell “toot toot” during the Super Bowl of course! Granted, I love a good song as much as the next guy, but it’s not hard to see why this “We the People” petition made this list. Currently, it’s sitting at over 11,000 signatures, far from its goal of 100,000. Granted, if this petition got enough signatures to be sent straight to the President’s desk, there’s still a very slim chance that anything would be done. All we would get is a response.
13. Bring Sour Cream ‘N’ Bacon Ruffles To The U.S.
I have to be honest, this petition on Change.org didn’t garner a lot of support, at least not as much as you’d think would qualify something for this list. That being said, this was such a gloriously frivolous campaign that I simply had to include it. Frito Lay had released a special Sour Cream ‘N’ Bacon flavored Ruffle into Canada. Now, whoever began this petition obviously visits Canada frequently, as their petition stated that they were tired of driving over the border to get them. Surprisingly, this petition only got 50 signatures (you would think something like this would get a lot more). If you want my personal opinion, it’s that this petition should never have been a thing. Not because I think Sour Cream ‘N’ Bacon would be a horrible flavor, but because bacon is such a unanimously beloved food item in the U.S. that it would only make sense for Frito Lay to try and milk it as much as possible. Regardless, the petition was a lost cause before it even began, but it’s always interesting to see what some people are truly passionate about and what lengths they’ll go to realize their dreams.
12. Deport Justin Bieber
There are many petitions on this list that I could never get behind, and there are other crazier petitions that I strangely finding myself smiling at from behind the scenes. Pop sensation Justin Bieber has been around for some time, but he’s probably more recognized for his infamy than his fame. I doubt there has been any singer that is more disliked than Justin Bieber. Still, there were a lot of young teenagers (mostly young girls) that looked up to him greatly. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop Bieber from running into the law more times than I’d care to count. Many parents were concerned about their teens who saw him as a role model of sorts. He wasn’t exactly a great influence. This led people to start a White House Petition to deport Justin Bieber back to Canada. This petition got almost 300,000 signatures, and was delivered straight to the White House and President Obama. After a period of careful waiting, a letter from the president was delivered right back, stating that he wasn’t going to deport Bieber and talking instead about his new immigration policy.
11. Macho Man Randy Savage Day
“Macho Man Randy Savage was a national treasure loved by everyone who watched him on television or knew him personally. No matter if you knew him from Slim Jim commercials or his wrestling career, you felt a deep connection with Savage. Tragically, the world lost him on May 20, 2011. This petition is to set aside that day every year as a celebration and remembrance of the Macho Man’s life and to keep his legacy alive for future generations to appreciate and enjoy.”
Need I say more? (That quote was too beautiful not to include). The recognizable face behind the popular Slim Jim commercials of the time, Randy Savage is up there with the likes of Billy Mayes and Terry Crews, if not higher. According to this petition, every one who saw him in wrestling or television is connected to him in some way. If you aren’t familiar with this man, then shame on you. From the quote above, it’s clear that he passed in 2011. What better way to honor his memory than to make May 20th National Macho Man Randy Savage Day? How is this a cause that you could not get behind? Apparently that’s what a lot of other people thought as well, bringing the petition a total of nearly 100,000 signatures. Just shows how many people loved Randy Savage.
10. Nationalize The Twinkie
Remember all those years ago when Hostess was going out of business, and with their sinking ship was also all of their beautiful pastries? This horrid tragedy was felt most with the ending of the Twinkie. Some of the most recognizable and beloved snack foods in all of America, the broken hearts and tattered souls were all too present when it was announced that this treat would be lost forever. Just when all hope was lost though, something changed! A man in Kansas City took to the White House Petitions to demand that the U.S. government nationalize the Twinkie so that the snack would forever remain alive. The signature didn’t exactly get a lot of support (only around 1,000 signatures), but their cries did not go unheard. Eventually, Hostess was purchased by a new parent company, which allowed them to remain in business, and as a result, bring back the Twinkie on store shelves. I’m just glad to know that when people put their minds together, they can tackle the really important issues of America. Forget Health Care! Let’s save the Twinkies instead! Not that I’m complaining of course; I love Twinkies!
9. Retire Ronald McDonald
It’s no secret that the food served at McDonald’s is unhealthy, generic, and unwanted by flies. Personally, I believe the best solution if the restaurant really bothers you that much is to simply not eat there. Everyone has the choice to go to it or not. Others took matters into their own hands on Change.org though. I’m not sure what exactly motivated them to propose this, but this person created a petition to “Retire Ronald McDonald”. In the petition, the writer showcases disgust for the character Ronald McDonald. By being one of the most ingenious marketing campaigns ever for children, Ronald McDonald is subjecting all of its young customers to a lifetime of poor eating choices, leading to unwanted traits like obesity and heart disease. His solution is to retire Ronald McDonald altogether and give parents a break from having to feed their kids McDonald’s food (I’m paraphrasing here). At first glance, this petition makes sense, but after some careful thought, it actually doesn’t. I won’t deny that Ronald is an excellent campaign to bring kids, but if the parents don’t like it, they don’t have to take their kids. Hang your keys up and stay home. Problem solved. This petition also got around 6,000 signatures before it closed by the way.
8. Remove Rotten Tomatoes
Comic book fans are a fickle audience. You either please them or you don’t. Sometimes, you end with a whole uprising on your hands. DC fans haven’t exactly had it easy this year. The controversial release of Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice garnered more hatred than it did love, making it get some of the worst reviews of any superhero movie to date. The same can also be said for Suicide Squad, released just last month. Many of the reviews for these films were very scathing, which led DC fans to begin a petition. The reviewer that hated on these movies the most was arguably Rotten Tomatoes, and so many DC fans have banned together to try and shut the reviewer down based on “unfair reviews.” While it’s all fine and good that people don’t agree with Rotten Tomatoes, there are two huge problems with petitioning to shut it down. First off, is that action is very extreme and will only get those people labeled as fanboys. Second, Rotten Tomatoes themselves doesn’t review movies. They simply collect reviews across the Web and put them together. Shutting them down doesn’t make the bad reviews go away! It garnered 22,000 signatures, but didn’t reach its goal.
7. Allow Marriage Between Cartoon Characters And Real People
While this definitely sounds weird out loud or in your head, there’s no doubt that there’s definitely an audience for this sort of thing. With films like Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and Disney’s Enchanted (although they kind of toy around with the theme enough to make it not weird), the idea of live-action people attracted to cartoon characters isn’t exactly a new concept. Some people evidently agreed with this so much that a petition began that garnered about 1,000 signatures, but never quite came through. That hasn’t stopped some people from pursuing their dreams though. Seven years ago, there was a man who had a legal marriage with a digital character. Is that relationship still going well? I’m not sure, I think they’re taking it one byte at a time. Okay, please forgive me for that horrible pun. Back to the matter at hand- the petition itself hasn’t been found lately, so there’s debate as to whether it was real or not. However, people and cartoon characters getting married isn’t a new idea, so I saw it fit to include here.
6. Rise of the Guardians’ Jack Frost and Frozen’s Elsa Movie
There is no shortage of Frozen fans these days, but thankfully that huge pop culture trend has long died out in the wake of newer Disney flicks like Zootopia. However, that hasn’t stopped a lot of people from still singing those overplayed songs or getting their daughters a gold ol’ fashioned Elsa costume. In the film Frozen, Elsa herself has no love interest, so a group of fans took it upon themselves to introduce one for her: Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians. For those of you that haven’t seen the movie, it centers around holiday figures like Santa and the Easter Bunny as they team up to stop the Boogeyman. The main character in the movie is Jack Frost, who has the same powers as Elsa. The petition on Change.org that wants to have these two together is not only to make a movie starring them, but to make them lovers from the get-go. I’m unsure what kind of romantic film would result from that, but apparently, over 10,000 people knew what they were getting into when they signed.
5. Make Harambe A Pokemon
The story of the gorilla Harambe is one that I’m sure all of you are familiar with. A sad story, many took to social media to express their disgust about what happened to the ape in the end. A few weeks later, this led to many people creating memes and jokes all dedicated to his memory. The love for Harambe doesn’t just stop there, though. An excellent artist came up with the idea to immortalize Harambe by creating a Pokemon inspired by him, then begin a petition on Change.org. The petition showcases the Pokemon Harambe, and his pre-evolved form Hambo as Ghost/Fighting types and based off of old Aztec runes (and is very similar to the god Hun Batz). The proposed petition says that these Pokemon would be placed in the upcoming games Pokemon Sun and Moon. The petition has garnered a whopping 112,909 signatures (one of which came from myself), and is still live now if you’re interested in signing. Am I bit crazy for signing this one? Probably, but if it weren’t for how great the Harambe Pokemon design was, I wouldn’t even bother.
4. Build A Master Chief Statue On White House Yard
John 117 is a name every gamer of the 2000s will recognize. Halo shaped the first person shooter genre almost overnight, leading to greater advancements and stellar gameplay design. The series followed the character John 117, AKA, the Master Chief. His crusade against the alien Covenant is a story that will go down in the history books forever, and the daring missions that he’s embarked upon are worthy of the greatest awards. Because of his deeds, a White House Petition has requested that the government build a statue of the Master Chief on the front yard of the White House itself. Unfortunately, many deemed this cause a bit too ridiculous to get behind and it only totaled at about 4,500 signatures. Keep in mind this petition closed many years ago; I strongly believe that if it were to resurface in today’s world, there would be a lot more support going around (mostly due to the resurgence of the Halo franchise, as well as how much more social media is used). Would that mean the government would ever do anything about it? Absolutely not, but it’s still fun to dream every once in a while.
3. Make Jurassic Park
There are some petitions on this list that are 100% possible, but far from the realm of possibility, then there are other petitions like this one. Jurassic Park is one of those few movies that are deemed “untouchable.” From the setting, to the effects, to the idea of recreating dinosaurs for a modern era, there’s a lot to love with this film. Some other folks in the U.S. thought so as well, because a White House Petition was began, proposing that one of the National Parks be closed off and instead filled with something else: dinosaurs. How would they do this, you may ask? Well by cloning, just like in the movie of course! The requests from the petition state that they want the park open year round, they want it to have nothing but dinosaurs (Woolly Mammoths are optional), they want the dinosaurs to be cloned (and they offered to supply amber jewelry), and specifically stated they wanted a response from Joe Biden as opposed to Obama. Now, I love dinosaurs as much as the next guy, and this is a cause I’d more than happy to get behind, but sadly it’s just not practical these days. 2,000 other people would apparently have a few words to say to me about that.
2. Create A Real Death Star
If there is one other film that has more cultural impact than Jurassic Park, it’s Star Wars. Those movies changed the genre as a whole, and went on to shape what other blockbusters would do in the future. In those movies (for the three of you that don’t know), a planet destroying machine/space station was built called the Death Star (that was the size of a large moon). Despite it having some design flaws, this hasn’t stopped some hardcore fans of the franchise from creating a White House Petition to have a real one begin construction by this year. The petition grabbed over 35,000 signatures, and unlike many other entries on this list, received a response from the White House itself! On top of stating that they had no desire to destroy planets, they further stated that due to a project like that costing around $850,000,000,000,000,000, it was highly impractical to even entertain such an idea. This really makes one wonder what happened to the economy in the film to allow the Galactic Empire to build two of these things, as well as the Starkiller Base several years later.
1. Shut Down White House Petitions
It’s a cruel twist of irony that probably the craziest petition on this list is the one that makes the most sense. Obviously, this was a White House Petition demanding that White House Petitions be done away with. The thinking behind this was that, even if a petition could get enough signatures to be delivered to the White House’s desk, there was never going to be any action done about it (how dare they not make a real Jurassic Park!). Furthermore, why should taxpayer money continue to fund this website if in the long run, it ends up being pointless. The creator of this petition goes even further to say that the idea of White House Petitions is a joke and there only to trick us into thinking that our voices really are heard by the authorities. Surprisingly, this petition only managed to accumulate about 1,000 signatures (you’d think something like this would get a lot more support). Besides, Change.org petitions are being much more widely read than White House Petitions ever were. Either way, it’s an interesting thing to think about with petitions. Do they ever make a real difference, or is it all just an illusion?
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