Reality TV and talk shows love the Guinness Book of World Records. Where else can you find the woman with the longest legs in the world, or the woman with the largest natural bust? For that matter, you can even find the woman with the most piercings on the planet. Then there’s the guy whose skin stretches so much that he can look like a nightmare Computer Generated Image (CGI). For the record holders, there’s a Guinness Medal they can wear with pride, fifteen or twenty or more minutes of fame, and sometimes the chance to hit the reality TV or talk show circuit. Or if you are into a group thing, you can organize the largest nude swim or get you friends together to break the record for the largest number of people dressed like Smurfs. At its best, Guinness is just a whole lot of wacky fun. At its worst, well, it is just plain bizarre. Take the body piercing and tattoo records, not to speak of flesh tunnels. Sometimes, the record holders approach Guinness. Sometimes, like the guy with the widest mouth in the world, Guinness finds you via a YouTube video or some such.
Here are 15 record breaking bodies certified by the Guinness Book of World Records. We’ve got an adult star, the odd basketball player, and others who were just born that way. Some of the people on this list paid a lot of money to look what some would call weird.
15. The Most Flesh Tunnels
How many people do you know that can blow smoke out of their cheeks? Not many, we’d bet. Joel Miggler is a twenty-something German with a difference. A talented boy, he can also stick his tongue out through his cheek. He holds the record for the most stretched piercings, having some eleven on his face. The biggest are in his cheeks. According to The Daily Mail, they measure around 36 mm (1.4 inches). The newspaper seemed sympathetic to the guy, but did say he looked a bit like a zombie. He’s not going to make it in any regular job, we think. But the “alternative” model could make a fortune in zombie flicks. He didn’t stop with his face and has acquired a total of 27 different piercings, as well as 6 tattoos, an implant, and has even had his buttock branded. Ouch. Good thing his mom and girlfriend (a body piercer) are supportive. A face only a mother…
14. The Woman With The Largest Natural Breasts
Another record holder, Annie Hawkins-Turner is a fifty-something year old with the largest natural breasts in the world. The poor girl has to hire security, because “suitors” chase her. And can you blame them? After all, she is a 102ZZZ. Take that Pamela Anderson. She does talk shows, reality TV (Strange Sex), and self-directs her own brand of fantasy videos using the name Norma Stitz. That’s a whole lot of fantasy she’s got going on there. The widow and mother of two admits she is one in a million and blessed, despite the fact she has been taunted since she was ten-years old and got her first bra. The Daily Mail reports that her chest weighs around 112 pounds. And that in itself presents problems when driving or just standing up for too long. She’s a star. She’s even got an Adult Video News (AVN) Award to prove it.
13. Longest Female Legs In The World
In 2009, she was famously filmed in London with He Pingping, the shortest man in the world. She is Svetlana Pankratova, Russian, and 6 feet 5 inches tall. It will surprise no one that she played and now coaches basketball. She played college ball in Virginia and now coaches girls there. But it’s her legs that brought her fame. They are officially the world’s longest female legs, verified by Guinness in 2003 as measuring 132 cm (51.9 inches). That’s four feet, four inches of legs, only a few inches shorter than the whole of reality TV star Snooki (Jersey Shore) who stands at 4 feet 8 inches. If they got together Snooki would just about come up to Svetlana’s belly button. Huffington Post reported that Annie Hawkins-Turner (aka Norma Stitz) lives near Svetlana and her American husband in Northern Virginia. Can’t see those two going for a girls night out. If they did, they would draw massive crowds of men.
12. The Head That Smashed The Most Watermelons In A Minute
In the world of Guinness, heads do a lot of things. Like open bottles and smash watermelons. And then there’s the one about the flesh channels. In 2004, Leonardo D’Andrea from Italy smashed the previous record of 16 with a massive count of 22. But records are there to be broken and in 2011, that’s just what Tafzi Ahmed of Germany did. He ramped up the stakes to a staggering 43 melons in 2011. In 2012, he also broke the record for the number of bottles opened with a head. A versatile guy. How do you even practice smashing watermelons with your head? Like the old joke says, very carefully.
11. Most Body Modifications On A Female
This one has titanium horns inserted into her head and has had dental work to make her look as if she has fangs. Oh, she also says she has always been “different”. Truly different. Meet the Mexican Vampire Lady, Maria Jose Cristerna. She has a total of 49 body modifications, to include a massive tattoo count, transdermal implants on her forehead, chest and arms, and piercings just about everywhere that could be pierced. She’s a former lawyer turned video jockey and grew up in a Religious family. And she’s got kids. Imagine rolling up for a teacher’s conference and running into her. And she takes every parents’ tendency to embarrass their kids to a whole new level. We think she’s more than a little scary. But it looks like she’s having fun.
10. Heaviest Vehicle Pulled By A Beard
It’s India in the summer of 2012. If you are Kapil Gehlot, you are about to break the record for the heaviest vehicle pulled by a beard. And it’s a 4,861 pound car. He said he was doing it to promote roller sports in India. What? Did we miss something? Anyway, it’s just one of many, many vehicle pulling records, like the heaviest road vehicle pulled by teeth and the heaviest vehicle pulled using earrings. This hurts to even imagine, but some guy actually holds the Guinness Record for pulling a vehicle with his eye sockets. Makes Kapil’s feat look almost easy. The main question is: Is pulling a vehicle with your eye sockets worth the fifteen of fame it might bring?
9. Largest Flesh Tunnel – Ear
In 2014, Hawaiian Kala Kaiwi claimed the Guinness World Record for the largest non-surgically crafted stretch earlobes. The things are 4.3 inches across and you can fit a hand through them. The stretch lobes join hundreds of other body adaptations. He has silicon horns implanted on his head, stretch nostrils, tattooed eyebrows, and studs all over his face. And this hurts, but he even split his own tongue with dental floss. Then there’s the bolt holes on his forehead with spikes screwed in. Bet he finds airport metal detectors a bit of a hassle. He’s a walking ad for his Sin City Body Modification and Tattoo Shop. Let me make you look just like me. Not. Let me think about it, man.
8. Widest Mouth
The Guinness Book of World Records found him on YouTube. His videos of his close encounters with Coke cans and the like were all the rage. Francisco Domingo Joaquim’s 6.69 inch wide mouth has earned him the title of the “World’s Widest Mouth” in the Guinness Book of World Records. The 20-something also goes by “the Angolan Jaw of Awe.” His street performances in Luanda, the capital of Angola, and a performance on an Italian TV show set the stage for his Guinness performance. He easily beat out all the other contestants in a gathering in Rome and was declared the undisputed winner. He said his victory was a dream come true. The guy who can pop 14 Coke cans in and out of his mouth in a minute dreams big. And his YouTube fans can’t get enough.
7. Longest Female Tongue
The world record for the longest female tongue resides in the mouth of Chanel Tapper from Los Angeles, California. She’s a pretty student who says her tongue started getting her noticed when she was in middle school. Her world class tongue is 3.8 inches long, about the size of some iPhones and around twice the size of a normal tongue. You can put it side by side with the longest nose later down. She can do neat tricks like touch her nose with what looks like a reptile’s tongue to us. She’s held the record since 2010. With around 5,000 likes on Facebook, she’s enjoying the limelight. And presumably makes pretty fast work of ice cream cones.
6. Mouth To Mouth – Longest Underwater Kiss
You have to like and trust somebody an awful lot to try and pull this once off. Guinness has acknowledged that the longest underwater kiss in apnea (not breathing) lasted a whooping 3 minutes and 24 seconds. It appears that Michele Fucarina and Elisa Lazzarina did their kiss as part of an Italian TV show. Other kissing records include kissing a car (76 hours) and the longest on-screen TV kiss (3 minutes and 47 seconds). You’ve got to want that record really bad to smooch a car for over three days. There is a separate record for underwater kissing with mouth to mouth breathing of over 20 minutes. Sounds like a fun thing to do on Valentine’s Day, or any other day actually.
5. Stretchiest Skin
No, this is not CGI or Photoshop. This is Garry Stretch. Stretch is my name and stretch is my game. He told The Daily Mail that he can pull out his stomach skin and use it as a table. And he has also held the record for the most clothes pins attached to a face. His “talent” came to light when he was three or four years old and a 10-year old uncle would pull at his skin to show off to other kids. And he’s made a living out of it, starring in the Circus of Horrors that auditioned for Britain’s Got Talent. Talk about a strange bunch. We can imagine Simon Cowell’s insults were really stinging. Garry’s also performed with the ‘Royal Family of Strange People in London’. And he does this trick with clips on his face that makes him look like a scary Batman. Oh, his real last name is Turner.
4. Largest Feet
These are seriously big feet on a seriously big guy. Jeison Hernandez is a 20-something year old who is over 7 feet tall and wears a UK size 32 shoe. Things got weird after he turned 10 with a size 5.5 shoe, only to grow to a size 11 in the course of a year. Guess what his favorite sport is? Basketball, or course. Things got even tougher for the teenager. By the time he was 14 he had to start making his own shoes out of cloth. The shoes only lasted a few weeks and he tended just to go barefoot, which you usually get away with in Venezuela. Things in school made things worse, as he was bullied and attacked. No more. He is happy and playing lots of ball. Has anybody told the NBA about this guy?
3. The Body With The Most Plastic Surgery
American Cindy Jackson has spent around $100,000 on nearly 50 cosmetic procedures. Let’s make a partial list: Three full facelifts, two nose operations, two eye lifts, liposuction, together with surgery on her knees, waist, abdomen, thigh and jawline. And we haven’t even talked about the cheek implants, chemical peels, chin bone reduction, and semi-permanent make-up. Heck, she’s had so much experience, she has become a cosmetic procedure consultant. Having recently turned 60, Cindy is probably going to keep up her plastic surgery marathon. There may be a problem, as some reports say she has blown the whole of the money she inherited from her inventor dad on procedures already.
2. Longest Nose
Mehmet Ozyurek of Turkey has some nose. In fact, it’s been certified by the Guinness Book of World Records as the longest in the world. It’s a massive 3.46 inches long from the bridge to the tip of the thing and was measured on an Italian TV show in 2010. You can check out other nose records on the Guinness site. There is the most milkshake “dispensed” through a nose and the farthest marshmallow blown from a nose. And not to be missed is the fastest time typing with a nose. Who knows? You might fancy your chances and have a go at breaking the records. You probably want to give the longest nose hair category a miss. And we are not too certain about the milkshake thing, either.
1. Most Pierced Body – Man
The first question we have is this: What kind of love life can a guy who kisses with metal have? Authorities in Dubai took one look at German Rolf Bucholz after he landed at the airport, assumed he was into black magic, and refused him entry. He was there to appear in some kind of show. You can see their point. He’s got 453 studs and rings all over his body and has been acknowledged by the Guinness Book of World Records as the most pierced man on the planet. The computer expert discovered the world of piercing when he was around 40 years old, and he loved it so much he went kind of nuts. This is going to hurt, literally, as 278 of the piercings are in his genital area. Again, think about the love life. Or lack of it, maybe.