Everyone wants to look good for summer. People kill themselves with crash diets and exercise like they have never exercised before. They do this all in the name of looking good on the beach. And you can’t really blame anyone. We pretty much strip down to underwear when it comes to hitting the shores or the pool. Everyone’s flaws are exposed and magnified during the summer months. So it makes perfect sense that people stress over their appearances during these very public moments. And nobody stresses more about how they look in swimwear than women. Women are literally covering as little of their body as they would with a bra and panties. We’re talking major skin show here.
What’s even more intense is when a female celebrity hits the sandy beaches. Their expectations are magnified even further by the fact that not only are many people looking and judging them, but cameras will literally catch every second they are frolicking by the waves. This can be very intense. I don’t think any of us would be too thrilled with 24/7 coverage of what we’re doing, let alone, what we’re doing in a two-piece bathing suit. For female celebrities, how they look during the summer can impact them financially as perception drives their marketability. And of course, there are those fashion icons who must outdo the next girl. This is a very public war of who can look the hottest and most original. And to be honest, we are happy to be spectators. These are The 14 Wackiest Celebrity Bikinis.
13. Paris Hilton
Is this a bikini or is Paris about to choose a safe word? This S&M infused black bikini is something out of an episode of Star Trek. We keep thinking Captain Kirk is about to lay a wet one on her (and to be honest, he probably already has). You combine her box hair cut along with the matching square sunglasses, and Paris Hilton looks like she just fell out of the movie The 5th Element (good flick BTW!). The woman who coined the annoying phrase “that’s hot” definitely is NOT in this outfit. On a side note, we are happy she found ample electrical tape to hold that thing together though.
Ever see a workout video from the 1980s? If you split one of those old spandex leotards down the middle you get Snooki who is sporting an odd patterned v-neck bathing suit. She apparently didn’t get the memo that Jane Fonda is no longer plaguing the world with her 80s fashion no-nos. This outfit is crazy and doesn’t light the New Jersey Boardwalk on fire. Instead, she gets points for strange as she displays the giant V just above her own “v.”
This poor thing. What the hell is happening to Kesha? One has to wonder if that money symbol in her name really stands for sickly. She just doesn’t look healthy in this outfit. First off, the black tank-top bathing suit combo is crazy. If she was wearing jeans you would think she was heading to a punk concert. Instead, she is left looking like a fish out of the water. Add that to being uncharacteristically out of shape, and this is a very unflattering picture of someone who is much more attractive than this.
10. Adrienne Bailon
And we have returned back to the Klingon wardrobe. It’s as if Star Trek was just giving away outfits and these wannabe celebrities were tearing them up to make whatever crazy configuration they could. This is what we see from Adrienne Bailon who goes a step further than Paris Hilton with this, “out of this world” getup. The raised shoulders (shoulder pads are SOOOO in this year) are a particularly nice touch on the beaches as nothing screams sexy like a woman with big shoulders. Once we figure out what Adrienne’s on we will let everyone else know. But for now, the former Cheetah girl and her crazy suit gets her on this list for all the wrong reasons.
9. Aubrey O’Day
Internet regular Aubrey O’Day enjoys making splashes all over Instagram. She is no stranger to attention and the more skin she shows, the more attention she seems to get. So it comes as no surprise that the bountiful breasted O’Day appeared in a low cut bikini on the beach. What was more surprising was the frills coming off her top like a florescent green eel was bursting out of her chest. The odd looking outfit was neon and crazy and it doesn’t impress like many of O’Day’s other skimpy showcases. Chalk this one up as a bad day for O’Day.
Normally Rihanna shines like a diamond. But in this situation, she is anything but. Rihanna has done far better than this in the past. The fact that it looks as though Rihanna’s hoo-hoo is morphing into a black panther is far from appetizing. The eyes of the creature land perfectly on Nippleland and the sharp-toothed mouth is opening up…well, you know where. It is not exactly the kind of swimsuit we’re used to seeing the normally exhibitionist-like Rihanna wear.
7. Kim Kardashian
Oh, Kim. Fur, on the beach, how could you. Never one not to make a fashion splash, Kimmy does look pretty stellar in this ensemble. As the waves crash around her, the pose of Kim Kardashian getting sprayed by the morning waves while wearing a fur two-piece bathing suit is pretty much on par for the world of a Kardashian. This may never happen for normal folk, but for Kim Kardashian, it’s just another day on the beach dressed in animal fur that barely covers your privates. Give her points for originality on this one and she does look pretty damn good in the pic.
6. Kylie Jenner
If you grow up in the Kardashian shadow, it can be a difficult hole to crawl out of when you want to get noticed for being young and flirtatious. It takes a lot to become successful and achieve celebrity status when you have no talent. These were some of the challenges facing Kylie Jenner. Her answer was to post provocative pictures of herself wearing as little clothes as possible prior to turning 18. Alarmingly appealing to the pedophile audience, Kylie whipped out this little bathing suit which did turn many heads and get massive attention. We guess it all worked well for her and she has cashed in with her many revealing inappropriate pre-adult outfits.
5. Daphne Joy
Pretty much 99% of the bathing suits Jason Derulo’s girl, Daphne Joy, puts on become insane. When you see Daphne Joy at the beach, the world pretty much stops and everything ceases to exist except Daphne Joy. Joy pretty much wears every bathing suit well and anything she seems to put on draws the eyes of men and women alike. This impressive specimen isn’t really famous for anything but being a music artist’s hot girlfriend, but Daphne Joy sure does that hella good. There is a lot to like here.
4. Amber Rose
For all that Coco can do to hold her bikini on her body, Amber Rose equally has some challenges keeping herself clothed. Amber swallows up a G-string as well as anyone in the world, and Amber Rose enjoys every minute of it. She is a regular on the Instagram scene, posting as many half-naked pictures of herself as humanly possible. The Kardashian faux-celebrity rival has spent a lot of time in the hip hop world and she proudly displays her bounties for all to see. Her bikinis are pretty ridiculous and happily arrive on this list.
3. Ronda Rousey
Ronda Rousey is known for trying to stay relevant in as many ways as possible. The pseudo celebrity and badass prize fighter has appeared in movies, television shows, on commercials and in magazines all across the world. In addition to her modeling, she has tried to promote herself through the many selfies that women these days try to push out the door for extra attention. That’s where this strange number comes in. Ronda is hit or miss when it comes to her outfits and looks (unlike her punches which are usually right on). We’re not sure why women are turning their front sides into raging animals whose sharpened teeth are showcased on their vajayjay, but again, this one just isn’t our cup of tea. She either looks super-hot or really not in her outfits and this one doesn’t pass the test.
2. Kate Upton
We’ll show up for any bikini contest Kate Upton enters (just sayin’). Upton makes an impact pretty much anywhere she goes. Unlike other beautiful models, Upton can successfully sell herself as a successful actress. She has talent beyond her “talents.” We’re not here to talk about Upton’s acting abilities though. It is her insane bountiful beauty that excites her fans across the world. Upton is a regular in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues and has dawned an eclectic array of two-piece suits. We are always happy to include Upton on any and all bikini lists and praise the Lord for this one!
1. Bar Refaeli
Supermodel Bar Refaeli is an Israeli model who has been impressing the world for many years due to her extraordinary looks and beauty. She is smoking hot and in 2009 made it on the cover of Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue. She was voted number 1 on Maxim Magazine’s Hot 100 list in 2012 and graduated to television host in Israel. Refaeli writes her own ticket in her homeland of Israel, as she is the most successful Israeli model of all time. When she hits the beaches in her bathing suits, she kills it and this crazy number only makes us want more from her. We’re thrilled she got caught up in this net long enough to strike a sexy pose and deliver this awesome shot for us.