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11 Things Sarah Palin Doesn’t Want You To Know About Bristol

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11 Things Sarah Palin Doesn’t Want You To Know About Bristol

via youtube.com

The whole “like mother like daughter” concept can be pretty unnerving, depending on who said mother is. I think we can all- Republican, Democrat, or anyone in between- agree that former Governor of Alaska and Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin is one of those mothers who provoke a cringe when this concept comes up, am I right?

From practically the moment anyone knew who Sarah Palin even was, we also knew who Bristol Palin was: her pregnant, teenage daughter. And this unwed mother would go on to leave her own legacy of infamy. Since 2008, when her family was in the spotlight, Bristol Palin has spoken publicly about sexual abstinence before marriage, had two children out of wedlock with two different men, and appeared on two seasons of Dancing With The Stars. But all of this is common knowledge. What about the lesser-known stuff, things her own mother would hope to keep under wraps?

No worries, I am here to divulge! It should not be overly shocking that the spawn of the wacky woman who (shudder) almost became second in command of the United States of America is less than perfect herself. And don’t worry- among the following list of 11 things Sarah Palin does not want you to know about her daughter Bristol, are plenty of fun facts about the matriarch politician herself. Enjoy!

11. She is BFF’s with Teen Mom Stars

via thesun.co.uk

via thesun.co.uk

I’m sure uber-conservative Sarah Palin just loves that her daughter is close friends with Teen Mom star Maci Bookout. After all, teen pregnancy is one thing Bristol so passionately (and quite hypocritically) advocated against. That, practicing safe sex, and remaining celibate until marriage, of course. Maci had her son Bentley at age 16, and her second and third children with now-fiance Taylor McKinney, while still unmarried.

The two moms got acquainted at various events devoted to education about teen motherhood and abstinence, and their children are close in age. While it is probably a good thing for Bristol to have someone to relate to her struggles, I’m pretty sure Sarah has a distaste for any relationship that could A) associate Bristol’s name even more with unwed mothers, and B) further the obvious point that she is a raging hypocrite.

It is surprising that Bristol formed this unlikely friendship with Maci (and possibly fellow teen mom Farrah Abraham, though she is a wannabe adult star, which is a different kind of bad image entirely), but it happened. So the real question becomes, then, not what Bristol is doing with Maci, but what on earth is the otherwise-down-to-earth Maci doing with Bristol?

10. She Charges $20,000 For Her Time

via shutterstock.com

via shutterstock.com

At Washington University in St. Louis in 2011, Bristol was scheduled to speak in a panel during “Sex Week.” But students there objected to her keynote speech, and more than that, they opposed her outrageous $20,000 fee to do so. Bristol has openly declared several times that she wants to help others not make the same mistakes as she did, and that she wants to promote abstinence in teenagers and young people who are not married. Yet she proposed a sum of $20,000 to speak at a university. Ultimately, she was uninvited from the discussion because the students felt that she did not bring anything new to the table, at least not anything worth that amount of money. One student said that there were thousands of young women who had been through exactly what she had, and who would speak for a lot less money, if any. I tend to agree.

9. She is Money Hungry

via shutterstock.com

via shutterstock.com

If this fact was not clear above, tax documents in 2011 showed that Bristol Palin, acting as an abstinence ambassador for the Candie’s Foundation, brought in $262,000 in 2010. The same year she earned all that money, Candie’s spent just $35,000 on grants to health and counseling clinics for pregnant teenagers. So essentially, for every dollar Bristol gave to the cause, she gave $7.50 to herself. Clearly, like mother like daughter, she took from Sarah Palin the lesson on how to milk her fame for all it’s worth, and she is doing just that.

8. She Takes Part in Drunken Family Brawls

via fortressamerica.gawker.com

via gawker.com

At a snowmobile party (because that’s how you party in Alaska), Bristol’s brother Track Palin got into a fistfight with an alleged suitor of their other sister Willow’s. Track apparently stumbled out of a Hummer, then picked the fight, which included the party’s host and Bristol, too. She hit the host several times. Alaskan political blogger Amanda Coyne posted that, “At this point, he’s up against nearly the whole Palin tribe: Palin women screaming. Palin men thumping their chests. Word is that Bristol has a particularly strong right hook, which she employed repeatedly, and it’s something to hear when Sarah screams, don’t you know who I am?” she wrote. “And it was particularly wonderful when someone in the crowd screamed back, ‘This isn’t some damned Hillbilly reality show!” The Palins were (not shockingly) asked to leave the party.

7. She Lost Two Custody Battles

via etonline.com

via etonline.com

Bristol most recently fought for custody of her baby, Sailor Grace Palin, with ex-fiance Dakota Meyer. She sought primary physical custody, with Meyer being allowed some visitation but no overnights (due to it being disruptive to her breastfeeding schedule). But while the judge ruled that it is in the child’s best interest to remain in Alaska with her mother (Meyer lives in Kentucky), he will be allowed to visit his daughter in Alaska twice a month for a total of 8 days. As for breastfeeding, the judge said that overnight visits with her father are still in Sailor’s best interest, and that Bristol can provide an adequate supply of milk for those times. It sucks for Bristol, but it especially sucks for Meyer, who has to take 8 days off work each month and pay for flights to Alaska bi-monthly!

Then there is the infamous seven-year-long custody battle to the death with Levi Johnston, father of Tripp. It cost a staggering $100,000, and in the end, Johnston was awarded joint custody. Bristol likes to say she didn’t lose, but joint custody is exactly what she was fighting so hard to prevent.

6. She Dated a Psycho

via shutterstock.com

via shutterstock.com

Ok, it is common knowledge that Bristol’s Baby Daddy #1 is Levi Johnston. But there are a few things you probably didn’t know about the man who made a child with the daughter of Alaska’s most certifiable governor. First, he got Bristol’s name tattooed on his finger (she did not reciprocate). His jealous sister Sadie reacted to this act of love by getting Levi’s name tattooed on her inner wrist (weird), and his mother was arrested for selling prescription drugs which funded all of Levi’s expensive gifts to Bristol. Maybe the psychosis runs in the family? But hey, at least mother and son were working together!

Levi also called Bristol’s labor and delivery of his son “gross,” refused to cut the umbilical cord, and a few days later was caught cheating on his baby mama! He did not provide for his new family, and instead began seeing a much younger girl at school.

5. Her Ongoing Catfight with Meghan McCain

via shutterstock.com

via shutterstock.com

During the 2008 campaign trail, Arizona Senator John McCain and his running mate, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, were busy fighting for the White House. Meanwhile, their two daughters were busy fighting each other. In her memoir Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, Bristol essentially calls John McCain‘s daughter Meghan (author of her own memoir, Dirty, Sexy Politics) materialistic, rude, and a backstabber. For her part, Meghan slammed the Palin family and insulted Bristol’s taking part in reality television. Well, she insulted reality television itself, really. Bristol has made no secret that she considers her nemesis to be a high-maintenance brat, who appeared (clothed) in Playboy. I suspect that the (unrightfully) holier-than-thou Bristol would have something to say about that, too. He who cast the first stone, Bristol… (wait, shouldn’t she know that saying?).

4. She Went Under the Knife

via nydailynews.com

via nydailynews.com

There are side-by-side photos everywhere showing “Old Bristol” and “New Bristol,” and they are admittedly very different. Rumors have long abounded that she had plastic surgery on her nose, chin, jaw, and cheeks. But not unlike many celebrities, Bristol denies the rumors. She claims that combining a liquid diet and a medically-necessary jaw surgery changed her appearance drastically. She does call that change an improvement, though, but says she does not “obsess” over her face. Quite the nonchalant answer for someone who looks so markedly different when you do compare the “old” and the “new.” It remains a question if weight loss and one correctional procedure (and, I suppose, age) could create such a profound physical change. Alas, we’ll likely never know.

3. Bristol and Sarah Fight All the Time

via independent.co.uk

via independent.co.uk

Sarah Palin would not have you know it, but she and her daughter are at odds frequently. This is normal to an extent for any mother-daughter duo, though when you live your life in the spotlight, especially the kind of spotlight shone on you when running for Vice President of the United States, this is not ideal. Bristol’s ex Levi Johnston (Baby Daddy #1), in an in-depth interview with Vanity Fair, detailed his ex’s fights with her mother, claiming the younger Palin often said, “I hate you” to Sarah during these times. He said of the tension: “Those two definitely didn’t get along much, especially after the campaign, when the cameras wouldn’t leave Bristol alone and her family wasn’t there for her.”

According to Johnston, Bristol had plenty of reasons to “hate” her mother, such as Sarah ignoring her children all the time, thus leaving their care up to her oldest daughter, and things like Sarah “hanging out” in her bedroom all day instead of working, and having insane fights with her husband Todd, who apparently did not even sleep in the same room as her.

2. She Is a Liar and Hypocrite

via shutterstock.com

via shutterstock.com

Oops, she did it again! In June of 2015, Bristol announced her second pregnancy. As you can imagine, Palin-hating Democrats had a field day with the news! Kathy Griffin probably summed it up best by her Twitter reaction: “The face of a happy comedian. Re: Bristol Palin is pregnant again and doesn’t want any lectures.”

Much of the problem with her becoming pregnant again- with a different man, while still unmarried- is how much of a hypocrite that makes her. Also, there is the little fact that she made hundreds of thousands of dollars touting abstinence to unwed young people. In her pregnancy announcement she stated that it was a “huge disappointment,” but a few days later in a subsequent public statement, she said it was “not the ideal situation,” but was nonetheless “planned.” Yeah, right; why would she “plan” a baby before marriage if she is so strongly, morally against premarital sex, not to mention the obvious backlash it would cause? So all of this makes Bristol Palin a hypocrite and liar at best, and an irresponsible woman who does not want her baby at worst.

1. She Lost Her V-Card Without Even Knowing It

via etonline.com

via etonline.com

And then she went on to get engaged to the guy! This one is a real mystery to me. In her memoir, Bristol discloses the very personal story of how she was camping with friends and got drunk, then woke up to see Levi’s empty sleeping bag next to hers. She could hear him laughing with his friends outside the tent, and her girlfriend told her, “You definitely had sex with Levi.” Bristol laments in her book that she feels as if her virginity was “stolen.” She says, “All of my plans, my promises, and my moral standards had disappeared in one awful night in a series of bad decisions… I was going to marry Levi. I had to now.”

OK, she was young and naive, and that night was one of her first ever experiences with alcohol. But still, she could have done what any other sane person would have and… I don’t know, not have decided to marry him. For his part, Levi is just an ass. They were not even dating then, yet he got her drunk (or so it seems from her story) and had sex with her. Conclusion: Levi sucks, and Bristol is an idiot.

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