One of the most universally hated people in the world is the person that gets up to the front of the Carl’s Jr. line, stares blankly at the menu and still doesn’t know what they want to order. Why? Because that idiot has now become the only thing between you and a western bacon cheeseburger with a side of crisscut fries and ranch.
It’s the ultimate first world problem. We are used to being able to shove stuff in our mouths as soon as hunger pangs strike because there’s food to be had everywhere and it can be made as fast as you can order it. So tolerance for people who come between you and the sweet satisfaction of food is low to non-existent.
There’s even a term for this kind of annoyance called ‘hangry” where people get snappy and mean until their bellies are filled. It’s something we’ve all been through to varying degrees. However, there are some people out there that go far beyond just being assholey when they don’t get their Chalupa. For some people, their hangriness rages and they go on rants so epic that people around them are compelled to put it up on YouTube so we can all be sad about the human race.
When it comes to getting a number 11 and a large coke, these people took no prisoners. Here are 10 seriously “hangry” people caught on tape.
10. Mess Up Her Order, She’ll Mess Up Your Life
Before clicking play on the video above, we want to warn you that this woman’s tirade is bursting with NSFW flavor. Her rant is so over the top epic, you would think she found a severed thumb in her McFlurry but that wasn’t exactly the case. The crime of the incompetent McDonald’s employee? They included fries with her order instead of ice cream. To be clear, they didn’t forget the fries, nor did they put fries up in a magic bullet and sprinkle it onto her ice cream, they just accidentally put a bag filled with delicious slivers of lightly salted fried potatoes NEXT to her ice cream and she was having none of that shit. Her “hanger” causes her to go off on the poor cashier for putting FREE FOOD on her plate when she didn’t ask for it and goes on for almost five minutes even AFTER they took the deliciously offensive fries away from her tray.
9. Ultimate Form!
McNuggets are hella good. We can all secretly agree on that while we pretend to be disgusted by them in front of our friends, right? These fried, pink slime nuggets of goodness are hot, crispy, salty boot shaped awesomeness, and when you take them for a swim in sweet and sour sauce, it’s like putting a little bit of heaven in your mouth. It’s the Ryan Gosling of fast food. So when this drunk woman was denied her bits of fried Gosling bits during breakfast hours, her soul cracked in half and insane came out, jumped through the drive thru window and pummeled the employees. If you listen closely, you’ll also hear her say, “Don’t make me assume my ultimate form!” We don’t know what that means but it’s definitely something someone needs to tattoo on their penis.
8. Where’s The Beef?
This time, it isn’t a little old lady asking about the beef, it’s a random stranger who has major beef with the cashier that screwed up this order. Apparently, they gave him ham-no-burger in his sandwich and that’s when his hanger detonated. Now I love hamburgers as much as the next guy, but I’m starting to think that McDonald’s mixes up their salt with some crack judging by how many videos there are on YouTube of people losing their ever loving minds about not getting what they want to eat. How else can you explain people bursting blood vessels to try and get their lips wrapped around their questionable food? How do they make hamburgers that look like someone sat on them, into a delicious taste sensation that people will get in line for? Why are McDonald’s french fries so delicious that other fast food french fries pale in comparison? Why are we getting in our car right now to go get a Big Mac?
7. Just Give Her A Chicken Sandwich
Sadly, we did not see Evander McNuggets up there assume her ultimate form after taking a couple right jabs at the employees, but fortunately for us this woman (who looks like she just had a heavy make out session with Pennywise) did just that. From what we can gather from the video, this lovely disheveled geisha of Baton Rouge just wanted a chicken sandwich and those pesky cashiers had to go and make her think too hard when they asked her which particular chicken sandwich she wanted. This woman has clearly put in a lot of thought into her sassy pantsuit and patent leather creepers outfit, so she’s done enough thinking for the day, thankyouverymuch. Perplexed, it was then that hanger made her assume her ultimate form; Blanche Dubois from Streetcar named Desire, (if Blanche had actually been run over by a streetcar.)
6. We Can’t Even Think Of A Deserving Title For This One
Remember the time you got so mad that you frantically humped the floor? No? Well clearly you’re not living your life right like this woman whose hanger pangs reaches def-con level one. It’s not captured on video what triggers this woman’s hangry tirade and we’re not even really sure if she’s getting mad about the food or even the service because at a Burger King, it could easily be both and no one would be surprised. It actually sounds like she’s just going off on an unidentified person in line. It might not even be a case of the hangrys that caused her to come completely unhinged. But regardless of who’s to blame, when there’s humping involved at a fast food restaurant, we feel it’s our duty to bring it to your attention. (2:40 mark of the video if you’re impatient and don’t care about plot lines) You’re welcome.
5. Run For The Border
The old Taco Bell joke is that ‘running for the border’ really means running for the bathroom because when you can get three tacos, two burritos, nachos, cinnamon balls and a large soda for under seven bucks, it’s to be expected. But in this case, running for the border is probably what the employees wanted to do after they allegedly got this woman’s order wrong. Hanger brings out a lovely shade of racism in her as she goes off on the Hispanic employees. Then later, when she calms down, she apologizes and BOWS to the ASIAN cashier like she was her karate teacher.
SHE BOWS. TO THE ASIAN LADY.
On a more positive note, now we know that the thick plexiglass not only protects employees from any gun totin’ customers, but it’s also a great way to protect them from hangry customer spit.
4. McSeafood Needs To Happen
There are cravings and then there are SERIOUS cravings that come when us ladies have to make our monthly deposit into our Diva Cups. These cravings are VERY SPECIFIC because it’s not just about having something to eat, it’s about having exactly what we’re craving, and for some women, if they don’t get exactly what they want, they get a little crazy. Combine that with a case of the hangries and well, this happens. A woman having a full-on hangry craving for seafood at a McDonalds. A “McLobster” to be more specific, which she’s convinced that she saw a commercial for and was distraught when an employee tells her there’s no such thing. She eventually settles for a Filet-O-Fish, but it doesn’t stop her from yelling the bad news to the rest of the customers that, if they were there for a McLobster, they were going to be sorely disappointed. And you know what? We ARE disappointed. There SHOULD BE a McLobster! Ronald McDonald, hear this lady’s cry!
3. Nervous O’ Hangry!
Who could possibly get mad at a KFC? Even if they did screw up your order, every box and bag of KFC food comes with a handful of those delicious crispy fried breading crumbs in it. This is a place filled with happy people with thin arteries, right? Wrong. This lady at a KFC in London is TURNT UP, and not in a happy Miley Cyrus way, but in an “I’ve smoked a brick of pot and now I’m paranoid and hangry” kind of way. This woman unleashes her munchies tornado in this restaurant because one of the employees apparently looked in her direction. And to be fair, she has a point. No one looks their best when they’re hangry and having a panic attack. KFC employees take note. If you’re going to look at us during our low point, at least have a six piece bucket of chicken in your hands and show us you’re coming in peace.
2. Plain, no CHEESE!
Have you ever met a person who liked cheese? No, you haven’t because if someone is a cheese person, they don’t just ‘like’ cheese, they f-ing love it. Cheese people want their cheese in blocks, sliced, fried, in stick form etc. And they ESPECIALLY want melted cheese on their hamburgers because without it, a hamburger might as well be a piece of turd in a bun. Cheese people see cheese as a religion and hamburgers that don’t have a beautiful blanket of cheese on top of it is basically like spitting on their God.
Even more powerful than a cheese lover? A cheese hater.
A hangry cheese hater who finds some unwanted cheddar in his food can get ugly real quick as demonstrated by this fellow in the video who drove back to the Wendy’s to give the burger flipper a piece of his mind for not understanding when he said he wanted his burger “plain, NO CHEESE!”
1. Curly Fries Goes Corporate
There are straight fry people and curly fry people, and while both worship the potato in one fried form or another, curly fry people are the ones you don’t want to mess with. As a curly fry person, I can tell you that there’s nothing more disappointing than to see a bag of boring straight fries when you’re anxiously anticipating a bag of joy and wonderfulness that can only be had with potatoes that have a perm. You can’t just give a curly fry person a bag of regular fries and expect to get away with it. So we support this woman and her plans to restructure the local Arby’s employee roster by calling corporate to complain about their HUGE curly fry mistake. In fact, Arby’s should just go ahead and foot the bill for the therapy this woman needs to fix the emotional damage she has suffered from having to wait to have her curly fry fix.