There are a number of reasons foreign objects can get stuck in someone’s body. Maybe one’s mind goes straight to sexual behavior. Sure, that is definitely one of the top reasons. There are many different devices that people use for sexual stimulation. These can be entered in various parts of a person’s body. Without getting too graphic, there are numerous sex toys that do a variety of things. Of course, those are intentionally entered into a person’s body.
Then, we have accidents. Now, accidents can range from foreign objects that someone accidentally gets stuck inside them to objects they intentionally stick in them and get stuck. An accident would more be a nail gun incident in which a man accidentally shoots himself in the foot or abdomen. Clearly, he didn’t want that nail there. Then there are the other kinds of accidents where someone stuffs a Chapstick up their rear end because a cruel friend told them it would feel good while they had sexual intercourse. The Chapstick migrated up north and got stuck deep inside the man’s anal cavity. That’s when you have the panic-stricken guy attempting everything under the sun to get that Chapstick out of their rear end. Once they give up, they end up in the hospital and attempt to make a terrible excuse of how the Chapstick got there in the first place. X-rays are taken and everyone has a good laugh at the man’s expense.
Whatever someone’s sadistic pleasure (or “accident”), crazy things tend to get stuck up people’s rear ends. These are 10 Of The Craziest Things To Ever Get Stuck Up Someone’s Rear End.
10. Empty Glass Bottle – Refill?
Farmers can tend to get bored out on the farm. It can be a quiet and lonely place. So, when a 72-year-old male farmer entered the University of Mississippi Medical Center for the complaint of “I have a bottle in my rectum,” there was a great deal of confusing looks exchanged. How does an actual glass get submerged into someone’s rear?
This old farmer was using a nearby refuse to defecate when the 225 pound man slipped and fell. He unfortunately fell directly over an empty glass bottle that was embedded in the ground. The neck of the bottle was snapped off with the other end fully intact in the man’s lower rectum. The jagged edge of the bottle was facing his anal sphincter. (If I had a nickel…)
9. Cell Phone – Tough Call
A lawyer was taking a shower and couldn’t wait on some of his phone calls. So, as he spoke on the phone in the shower, he naturally dropped the phone (being that the shower is wet and all). After he dropped the phone, his entire body went with it, the attorney falling butt first onto the ground. In one miraculous fall, his cell phone went right up his rear end and got lodged into his anal cavity and beyond.
The lawyer couldn’t get the phone back out himself and had to rush to the emergency room. As the man was having the phone removed, doctors reported the phone ringing at least three times (true story).
8. Vibrator and Tongs – Tossed Salad Anyone?
Two gay men were having a romantic evening at home together. They decided to get a little rowdy and their sexual fun turned into sexual disaster. They were using a vibrator and the battery-powered device was shoved too deep into one of the men. That isn’t too original.
However, panicking, they turned to a small set of tongs to attempt to pull the vibrator out. While reaching in, the tongs were also swallowed whole by the man’s rear end in a failed rescue attempt. With both the tongs and vibrator hopelessly stuck, the men turned to doctors to solve the problem.
7. Buzz Lightyear – To Your Anus And Beyond
Toy Story is an endearing movie series that has seen massive success. Their characters are beloved. Both Buzz Lightyear and Woody (along with the rest of their gang) are owned by millions of children across the world. And of course, Buzz has a nice rounded helmet head which leads us to this interesting event.
One silly human opted to see what it would be like to stick Buzz Lightyear where he had never gone before. The toy went up to infinity and beyond (I know, terrible pun. Had to do it). With Buzz stuck and with little hope of a Woody rescue, the doctors were called in to remove the toy.
6. Cucumber – Clean Veggies
Okay, a cucumber going into a human being’s orifice is an age old joke. The vegetable has been used (or at least simulated being used) by women as a veggie replacement dildo numerous times. The cucumbers themselves aren’t the most interesting part of this story. When a man had to head into the emergency room, unable to quite walk right, his explanation of how the cucumber became lodged into his colon was quite original. The man explained to the doctors that he keeps his cucumbers in his shower to keep them fresh (You know, just like how there is a water spray system at the grocery market…he does the same thing with his produce. No biggie). He happened to fall and slip right on one of the cucumbers. The cucumber got lodged deep inside him and he was off to the ER. Either way, our advice is to never eat at this man’s house – and if you do, don’t eat the salad!
5. Coke – Have A Coke And A Smile
Coca Cola is a widely known universal brand of soft drink. The company is an absolute monster. Many people all across the world love drinking Coke and they have numerous different types of packaging to use. They have cans, plastic bottles and glass bottles. A 60-year-old man came to the hospital and first complained of constipation. Then, after it was discovered he had entire Coke bottle stuck up his rear end, he claimed burglars forced the bottle up his anus.
The hospital broke out their “super” vacuum and forcefully pulled the bottle out. There’s one pressing question we have: was it diet or regular?
4. Deodorant – Got To Smell Good!
Deodorant is one of those necessaries for a man to smell good and stay fresh all day long. We are always out to impress those around us and not subject them to our body odor. So it’s no surprise that in one of the hottest places in the world, Saudi Arabia, a man would own deodorant. What was surprising was when the man entered the Riyadh Care Hospital with lower abdominal pain and the x-ray showed an entire can of aerosol inserted into the man’s rectum.
The 23-year-old Saudi patient didn’t have much to say about the self-insertion and embarrassingly scampered off after doctors were able to bi-manually remove the object. One word of advice, man, next time go with the Axe cans. They are much smaller.
3. Potato – Mashed Or Baked?
A clergyman was doing his normal daily household chores. He happened to be hanging curtains, wait for it…while being completely naked. That’s right, this clergyman enjoys doing chores in the buff (or so he claims). This man, in his 50s, fell backward onto his kitchen table. Upon falling back onto the table, a potato became lodged into the clergy’s rear end. The doctors had to go in and delicately extract the vegetable.
The clergy had a lot to answer for and insisted he wasn’t playing a sex game with the potato. Sure, we buy the “hanging curtains naked thing.” Makes perfect sense to us. He was subsequently banned from owning any Mr. Potato Heads by the church.
2. Artillery Shell – Locked and Loaded
Suffering from bad hemorrhoids, a London man used to go to a hospital clinic to get help. But unfortunately, they could never quite relieve the man’s pain. What was worse, the painful pile would hang down and get stuck to the man’s underpants. So, this WWII veteran, being the “problem solver” that he was, decided to use an old artillery shell from an anti-aircraft gun he used in the war and shove it up into his rectum to keep the pile there. One day, he shoved the shell a bit too far and it disappeared inside the man.
He had to very carefully hobble to the hospital. When the doctors were informed that the shell was in fact “live”, the bomb squad had to be called in. They built a lead box around the man’s rear end and had to diffuse the shell inside him before the shell was removed by doctors. What a crappy day for the bomb squad!
1. An Eel – A Little Backed Up
Many people who are constipated use some sort of laxative to relieve their pressure. Perhaps you need just a bit more fiber in your diet. Either way, most people don’t do what this Hong Kong man attempted. The 50-year-old man was brought into the emergency room suffering extreme abdominal pain. When an x-ray revealed an eel gnawing away at the man’s insides, the patient had to be rushed into emergency surgery and a laparotomy was performed to pull out the 50 cm-long eel.
The explanation? The man was constipated so he inserted the eel into his own rectum to chew through his feces and relieve the pressure. And it amazingly worked! But the eel kept going and started eating away at the man’s insides. Doh!