Love is a grand thing. It can lift you up when you feel like falling. It can give you the strength to keep going when you feel like you are running out of fuel. It can remind you why you are worth it, and it can make an ugly world a whole lot more beautiful.
That is in those rare moments when it is going well. Yes, love can save you. But what most people who adore the concept of love don’t talk about is how love is a creature that can change shape and direction without warning. Love, in one moment, can look like the brightest, most lovely star in the sky you have ever seen. But, the mistake we make is in forgetting that very star can careen out of the sky and literally impale us if we are not careful. So yes, love saves. But guess what love does when it is not saving?
It makes you feel like you have a vine of thorns entwined around your heart and every move you make is painful. It feels like you are sinking in emotional quicksand with no way to escape. But for the luckiest of you, you will never see that ugly side of love. For the rest of you, well, it all comes down to who you are with. If they are good for you, you needn’t worry about any of this. But what if your soul mate or significant other is a raging sociopath who just wants to destroy? How do you notice that before it’s too late? What are the signs? Well, as you can see from reading this list, the signs are always there. You just need to learn how to read them. Consider this a cheat sheet for how to spot if your significant other intends to one day devour your soul.
10. Mysterious Past
Strange. They won’t tell you about where they worked before or past exes. They won’t tell you why they moved three times. They pretty much don’t tell you anything. You just kinda hang out with them and sometimes get intimate with this stranger you know very little about. That cannot be a good thing.
The healthiest parts of a relationship are filling each other in on the past and truly getting to know the real one another. If you are with someone whose whole background is shrouded in mystery, the best assumption to make is if that fog lifted, it would not reveal something pretty or something you would WANT to know about them.
It is hidden for a reason.
9. Illegal Hobbies
Hobbies tell you so much about a person while having to ask so little. Normal hobbies people have include:
Social interactions and parties; Hiking and biking; Video games and movies; Playing an instrument; Art of some form.
Now, if someone you’re seeing doesn’t do any of the above activities, it does not make them a psycho by default. These are just common ones. But what does the person you like do for fun? A couple of red flags should shoot up for you if they tell you they like 1) nothing, or 2) something illegal.
Now, you’re not being told if you date someone who smokes some ganja that you’re going to be screwed over. BUT, if they steal or do other such “sudden rush from bad things” activities, that should warn you. They do have a dark streak, and those never get smaller. They only grow.
8. Hates Everyone (Seriously, Every Single Person Ever)
This one follows the last one on the list on purpose. While it can be okay to have a certain level of disdain for a rotting society, healthy, adjusted humans hide that a bit and learn to live with it. Psychos and sociopaths will just wear that hatred on their sleeve and announce it anytime to anyone who will listen.
If the person has so much hate in their bones, where do you think they are going to aim that hate? Hint: get some armor because it will be you who it gets taken out on.
7. Cheating In Front Of You
Okay, so maybe not literally in front of you, but if the person is cheating with reckless abandon, that is pretty much cheating with no intention to hide it. If multiple people are letting you know this person is a scumbag, guess what?
No matter how much denial you may be in, that person IS, indeed, a scumbag. Oh, and if they are literally having sex with your friends, there are multiple phone help lines that can aid you with your situation.
6. Relationship With Own Family
So, how does your significant other get along with their family? If they spout the same hatred about strangers at their family, unless they’ve been abused, that is probably unjustified and this just shows you that all they do is hate – all the time and everything at once. Just hate hate hate.
The best way to know the truth about this is to get around them during the holidays if possible. If his or her own family stay away, you know that stands as a testimony to the fact this person just might not be the best human being for you.
5. No Friends
Family relations all screwed up? Hates all your friends and talks constant smack? Hates everyone on TV and everything about the radio? Hates your favorite websites and shows and bands? Yes, this is all scary and alarming.
But you know what speaks loudest? Assess the friends (or lack thereof).
Remember, we are reflections of our friends, so if the person has terrible people as friends, they are probably a terrible person. Even worse, no friends hints at a dark background where many bridges were burnt. Be aware of that, it could save you so much pain.
4. Interactions With Others
This one is easy breezy. How does he or she interact with other human beings? If he or she seem to be okay and well adjusted (and friendly) in public situations, that is a good sign. But if you are out and he or she is rude to a waiter for no reason, gives people dirty looks, bumps into people, and has an overall sense that they are better than everyone else, be cautious.
That is one of the first signs that you will most likely have your soul devoured by this person at one point. You can learn a LOT from people by seeing how they treat people who can do nothing for them. Waiter and waitresses are a good jump off point for this. Observe and note how they treat them. It says a lot about that person.
3. Animal Sacrifices
You REALLY know you are in some messed up relationship when you leave the house for a little bit to run some errands, you get back, and bam, there is a pentagram on the floor with a goat in the middle of it. The worst part is, then they get mad at YOU because they thought you were gonna be home “later.”
Suddenly, the sacrificed animal in the living room is YOUR fault even though you just went to grab some ice cream so you could eat the pain of your empty life away. Alas, no such pleasures for you because you are clearly dating a psychopath.
Bad news, it only gets worse from here. Buckle in.
2. Head Spins 360 Degrees
So one minute, it is a discussion about how he or she doesn’t do their end of the chores and you feel like you are carrying most of the load for both of you. Suddenly, your partner’s head starts turning like they’re going to look at something behind them… ONLY THEIR HEAD DOESN’T STOP HALFWAY. THE THING SWIVELS ALL THE WAY AROUND, ONLY TO LOOK YOU DEAD IN YOUR PETRIFIED EYES.
All I can tell you is, I stayed after that happened to me once, and it was NOT a good idea…
1. They Like Nickelback
Listen, you can find out someone you love is a murderer. It will mess you up, but depending on who they murdered, you might not even be thrown off. You can find out someone you love might be a descendant of some evil dictator, and that sucks a lot, but if they don’t support that part of their history, they are still a keeper.
One thing that NO HUMAN ON EARTH should ever have to put up with is someone who listens to the band Nickelback. That just points to some serious mental problems and probably some very dark and sickening secrets. No one with any self respect would allow that stuff inside their ears, so if you find that out, just walk away. Game over.
You don’t even have to say anything. They will know what they have done.