This might be hard for some of you to hear, but a man’s penis is a symbol of his manhood. It isn’t that those of us with normal, or even large penises think about this of course. We just go about our days, satisfied with ourselves and confident that we are not lacking in that area.
For those of you that do have small penises, and you know who you are, things are a bit different. These people often go about their days wandering around the earth trying to show others, male and female, just how manly they actually are. Some of them do this by the way they act, others do it with the things that they buy, or the cars that they drive.
We can tell though, you guys with small penises aren’t fooling anyone. In fact the things that you do, the cars you drive, even the buildings you build and the weapons you use, they all let us know what is really going on. You are trying way too hard.
Here are the Top 15 Things That Show You Are Overcompensating For a Small Penis.
Limousines don’t fool anyone. There are times of course when riding in a limo is acceptable. There are actually important people out there doing important things. But for the most part, the guy in the limo always looks like he is trying way too hard to look cool, or maybe he is just overcompensating for a small penis.
14. Too Much Bling
Nothing shows a man overcompensating more than a lot of bling. But unless you are Slick Rick, or are a former member of Boogie Down Productions, please, and we do mean please, try and keep yourself under control with this. You might as well be wearing a neon sign that says “I have a small penis” around your neck. Lay off the fake gold.
Flying around 10 feet off the ground while making a large noise just isn’t happening. Sorry, but jetpacks? They aren’t cool. At all. “Hey everyone, look at me! I have a really cool jetpack! Woo!” No. Just no. Whoever first invented jetpacks and everyone that is into them, well we know what you are trying to hide.
Okay, talk about obvious. This one takes the cake.Who has the biggest building on the block? So you think your building is big? Well mine is bigger. Oh yeah? I just built one bigger than yours. Hey look at that guy’s building, it sure is tiny. Skyscrapers have to be the biggest sign of penis envy out there. Honestly, no one cares how tall your building is. Well, maybe guys with small penises do.
11. Gun with Long Barrel
Guns are a pretty big sign of overcompensating in the first place. Yeah we get it, you and your gun are so tough. Bang, bang and all that stuff. But when you have a gun with a long barrel? Come on. Repeat after me “My manhood does not have anything to do with how big my gun is.” Good job, I knew you could do it.
10. Jet-Powered Motorcycle
Motorcycles are already a pretty big sign of overcompensating for a small penis. I mean come on. The thing is actually between your legs, and makes loud manly noises and are powerful. We give some guys a pass who simply like to drive fast and act like idiots. But when you make a motorcycle jet powered? You are overcompensating. No need to even argue about it. Just stay inside until you get over the urge to buy one of these.
9. Monster Truck
Yeah, yeah. We get it. You’re in a huge truck. Not just a huge truck, a REALLY huge truck. It makes lots of noise. You can drive over smaller trucks. You can crush things. You are powerful. Really you are just a small little man in the drivers seat of something powerful, it isn’t that you are powerful yourself. And in reality you almost certainly have a small penis.
8. Enormous Tank
Tanks take penis envy to a whole new level. It isn’t about which person has the bigger penis, it is about which country has the biggest appendage. Tanks show the other guy “Hey don’t mess with me, man, look how huge and powerful I am”. What these tanks could do in warfare was often secondary to how they looked. If you lined up a few hundred tanks on a nation’s borders, they would certainly look all big and tough. And that is what it is all about when a person, or a country, is overcompensating.
7. Huge Cigar
All of these 15 signs of overcompensating for a small penis are pretty obvious, but some more so than others. The cigar, especially the big cigar, is one of the most obvious signs out there. “Hey look at me, I am a man, with a big cigar in my hand.” Yeah, actually I think I will pass on that one and all the jokes I can think of that come with it.
6. Big Rocket
This one holds true whether or not you are a scientist at NASA, or whether you are a hobbyist that likes to stand around and take pictures next to your huge rocket, that you are going to blast off into the sky. Rockets are a sign of power and conquest, and to be honest being all into them is just not a good look on you. The only people that get a pass on this one are geeks, because we all know geeks don’t care about penis size.
5. Wearing Too Much Cologne
Wait, on a list of skyscrapers, jetpacks, and tanks, wearing too much cologne gets some play? Yes it totally does. There is probably no greater sign of overcompensation then when a man takes a bath in cologne, then rolls around thinking that women are going to be all turned on by him. It isn’t happening, man. Go take a shower and stop making a fool of yourself. You stink.
4. Workout Selfies
This one is a little complicated. Working out doesn’t mean you are overcompensating for a small penis. You might just be into it, or want to look and feel healthy. Also, someone else taking a photo of you working out doesn’t mean anything. Who cares? But when you take a photo of yourself working out and post it on social media? We know you are covering up for something. Just admit it.
3. A Hummer
We know all about it, you don’t have to explain. You just like driving a Hummer, you don’t need to impress anyone. It isn’t that you think you look so cool and powerful sitting there behind the wheel of your car. The thing is though, anyone that really WAS cool and powerful wouldn’t need to drive something so ridiculous. So we know you are compensating for something.
There are not many bigger signs of overcompensating for a small penis than joining a fraternity. You surrounded yourself with a bunch of guys that you don’t even know, all to make yourself feel more popular, and well…bigger. It doesn’t work though. Women know what you are up to, which is why most of them wont come to your parties.
1. Trophy Photos With Dead Animals
In a list like this, there can only be one winner, or loser as it were. So without a shadow of the doubt, the winner in the overcompensating for a small penis competition are those that take trophy photos of themselves with dead animals. It isn’t the hunting so much, it is more the desperate desire to be looked upon as a conquering man that makes it obvious that these guys are lacking something below the belt.