For many of us males, one of the most difficult parts of dating and relationships is meeting the friends of our girlfriends. Depending on the girl, meeting the family and meeting her friends usually fluctuate between numbers one and two, on the scale of tough steps to make. While the family wants to know whether you’re employed, at least a semi-functional adult and someone who will treat their daughter and sister well, the friends may well be more critical.
Most women tell their friends far more than their families. While a family knows about her work life and some details about her social life, groups of women share more than most men can even imagine. They know about the garbage movie she watched over the weekend with her cat, they know about the creepy guy who hit on them in the bar last month, and they know about the dude they brought home who couldn’t “complete the job”. It can be scary, but meeting the friends is as much of an opportunity as it is an ordeal. If you impress, your girl will hear about it, and you’ll be rewarded kindly. Conversely, a bad review turns you into a pariah, so don’t screw it up.
The epitome of the “sharing too much” club is a girl and her “bestie”. Whether you call them “besties”, “BFF’s”, or whatever other name girls are calling each other these days, nobody has more influence over a female than her best friend and nobody knows more about her. With this complex relationship in mind, here are fifteen things all guys have about their girlfriend’s best friend.
15. What A B*tch!
This one is obvious. It may not be a recurring thought and it may not be a thought you have while she’s around. Your girlfriend might be complaining about her best friend and while the complaint may be absolutely ridiculous, you may think this.
On the other hand, it’s more plausible that you’ll be spending time with the both of them and the best friend may make a snide comment or aggressively grill you for information. At that point, you will undoubtedly think what a despicable creature this is.
14. How Do I Get Her On My Side?
This type of consideration is necessary and will definitely pop into your head if your girlfriend is not quick to trust. As I indicated earlier, meeting the family is essentially an exercise in basic manners and class. If you don’t have those, you’ll fail the stage and have to return to the bar for another victim. Meeting the friends and especially best friend are a different ball game.
The best friend who thinks you’re alright can be your greatest asset in your relationship. The strategies vary between simply treating her friend (your girl) like gold, and gestures of peace such as a gift card for the two of them to a local spa.
13. Is She More Important Than Me?
If you’re asking this question then you really do need relationship advice, and frankly more than we at The Richest can offer, but this is a start. The short answer is yes. The long answer is: in many situations, yes, her friends (and especially her bestie) are vastly more important than the boyfriend, especially in the early stages of the relationship. Accept it, get over it, and realize that when she’s neck deep in ice cream, stupid movies and a heck of a complaint session, you have the chance to do the male equivalent, and watch sports, eat wings and drink beer.
12. This Girl’s Kind Of Alright (Eventually)
If you pass the initial test and your girl’s best friend realizes you’re a half-decent human (or you trick her into thinking so, you dirty dog), she’ll warm up to you. At that point, if you spend time with the two of them, you’ll realize that you share one thing in common: a favorite person. Clearly, if you’re dating someone, her best friend and you will likely be able to find some common ground and to some extent the fact that you’re both involved in the life of the same person means it’s unlikely you’ll remain cold to one another.
11. Oh Crap, She’s Kind Of Hot
An “oh crap” moment if there ever was one. Fans of the show How I Met Your Mother may remember the episode about “The Mermaid Theory” in which character Barney Stinson claims that over a period of time, a man will eventually start to find just about any woman attractive. Over time, she will turn from a manatee into a mermaid.
Depending on how attractive your girl and her friend are, the timelines will vary but at some point, unless the bestie is an absolute mess, there is a point at which you’ll start to find her attractive. If your girl’s best friend is her sister who is also hotter, more interesting and more fun to be around, that’s a hint that you need to head for the hills. Also a decent personal anecdote, a story for another day and a hell of a lesson learned.
10. If Male: I Really Hope This Guy is Gay
We had to include at least one entry that dealt with this situation. Aside from building romantic relationships, plenty of women have close male friends, so this was necessary.
As secure and level-headed as any guy wants to be, a girl whose best friend is male can be a scary idea. It’s still not the norm, but two people of the opposite sex who have a platonic (non-romantic) friendship can hang out as friends and nobody should really find it weird. While plenty of straight men hang out with straight women, the hope in the back of the mind of any man whose girlfriend has such a friend is that he plays for the other team.
9. If Male and Straight: Emergency
While realizing that your girl’s male best friend is gay may be a major relief, finding out that he is not can lead to a moment of panic. Acting on this moment of panic is probably the worst thing you can do. Be a man, keep your cool. Acting like a neanderthal will get you nowhere. Treat him like any other guy because chances are, unless he’s a complete scumbag, he genuinely enjoys the company of your girlfriend. Being yourself and keeping a cool demeanor around this guy will probably earn you a bit more respect from your girl and you may end up enjoying the guy’s company as well.
While it may go against social norms, it’s not an emergency, so don’t treat it like one. You may end up looking like a fool. If he does step over any comfort lines, deal with it by talking to her first, him second, and for God’s sake be a gentleman. Even if you think he’s a worthless subhuman, keep your cool and don’t bash him, with words or fists.
8. Does She Compare Me To The GF’s Ex?
Getting back to women whose besties are other women: unless your girlfriend has a rough dating history that features some horrible people and she tells you about it in confidence, you hopefully won’t hear about her exes. While we’re on the subject, you should never mention your exes, unless she asks, it’s just a subject best left in the past.
But at some point, most men, in the back of their minds, behind the machismo and alpha male (or wannabe alpha male) mindset, will wonder how they stack up compared to the lady’s past. In addition, most men will wonder what her friends have said and what the best friend has said on the subject. Don’t let the thought slow you down and get it out of your head. It’s not worth your time, go back to thinking you’re awesome.
7. What Secrets Does She Know About Me?
Remember when we indicated that women share just about everything and more? Well, this inevitably leads to some concerns in the minds of men. Some may say that they’ve never done things of which they are embarrassed or ashamed but they are doing a better job kidding themselves than anyone else.
Anything you’ve done that your girlfriend took note of, her best friend knows. You may question just how much she knows but rest assured, she probably knows everything. Much like a few other segments of this list, there isn’t much of a point getting up in your own head about this one, just accept that she may well know more about you than you know about yourself.
6. Have These Two Ever Hooked Up?
The adult film industry has ruined being a guy. Well, I should clarify. It’s made it far easier to see people going at it without climbing a tree with binoculars. In the same breath however, such entertainment has led many of us to mistakenly believe that all women engage in pillow fights that end with those involved ripping each other’s clothes off. It’s a great fantasy, and if it has happened and your girl wants you to know, you’ll know.
5. I Wonder Who’s Better In Bed…
Once you’ve achieved some level of comfort with the best friend and she’s opened up and you’ve figured out what she’s all about, she may start to share some stories. You’ll obviously be privy only to the PG-13 variety, while your girl will get the X-rated version. Your girlfriend may share some tales as well, but it could end up with you thinking about whether her bestie is a total demon in the sack. At the end of the day though, every time a man meets a new woman, the extremely vast majority will automatically think about whether she is good in bed. This is potentially a moot point now that I think about it.
4. I’d Like To Take Her To Bed
We listed “oh crap, she’s hot” earlier and these two go hand in hand, but are not automatic. There is a step taken between recognizing attraction and starting to think about actually taking action. After getting to know the best friend, figuring out what makes her tick and recognizing that she too has lady parts and a cute face, it’s natural to start to think, if your girlfriend wasn’t around, maybe a night with the best friend would be fun. As responsible adults we must advise you not to try.
3. Would I Be Happier With Her?
There are two brief considerations that must be satisfied for this thought to occur. You and the bestie need to get along and she must be at least reasonably attractive. In a relationship, people fight. Some relationships include constant conflict while others only see it every couple of months, and intensity can differ from day to day. But during a major fight, most guys will start to think about whether the headache is worth it with that particular girl. In that time, they might think of friends of their own and any other reasonably attractive women who have given them the time of day, and think, “maybe she’s a better choice”.
2. I’d Like To Take Her and The Girlfriend To Bed
With a few very rare exceptions, men are all pigs. I say this without judgement or any negative meaning. Nobody wants to admit it but for the most part, males want to hop into bed with anything with the opposite set of parts that scores anything above four on the ten scale. But what men want even more than to score is to have a great story to go along with the memories. Few things make a better story than the girl and best friend tricycle, to use the parlance of How I Met Your Mother.
1. What Would It Take To Get Her and The GF Into Bed?
From the simple “want” comes the need to rationalize a plan of attack. Many men will spend hours or even days trying to think of ways to get a three-way going. It probably won’t happen, but if your girl and her friend are both hot, it may be worth using all your game and creativity to figure out how to make it happen. If you’re looking for advice on how to actually put such a plan into action, this may not be the place to look.