Relationships can take a nasty turn when things get completely misunderstood. Isn’t that how most arguments start? It’s frustrating when your partner thinks they know where things stand but is nowhere close. The problem is they began to believe this false perception of you and act on it as if it’s a fact. But it’s not and it’s safe to say that women deal with this more than men in relationships.
We’re talking about the idea of being the “crazy girl.” Thank god with social media now, we have memes and quotes that state what’s on our mind. You might recognize the one that says “guys call us crazy yet they’re the ones who make us crazy.” Before you call her crazy, try acknowledging your actions first because most of the time, the guy did do something wrong to cause her to act in a certain way. If you refuse to acknowledge your faults, then it simply means you’re a coward and no one has time for that. Sometimes, the guy did do something in the wrong and it isn’t even that bad so she confronts him in a cordial manner, expecting him to be honest about it. But it’s when he cannot take a step back and genuinely apologize for his actions that spikes her nerves. She’s going to react because she’s human.
Aside from the women who have a reason to get upset, we can agree that there are girls and guys who overreact and it’s unnecessary. But this article is about the majority of “crazy women” who get called names for no reason and want you to know where they stand. Find out these 15 things you as a man need to know about women before you call your girlfriend or wife crazy again.
15. Women Are Better Listeners
You might wonder why she is staring at you in a certain way as you speak your side and thinking, “she’s crazy,” because you assume she’s plotting something to get you. Not so fast. According to a Cambridge University study, women are more likely to calculate risks compared to men who are bigger risk-takers. In other words, women are more careful when listening, therefore, are better listeners than men. So she is not trying to figure out ways to get back at you (plus she believes in karma), but she’s actually listening to what you have to say. She might make facial expressions that scare you but really, she’s just hearing you out and can’t filter out how she’s feeling.
The study found that the brain of the female is linked to emotions, calculating risks and the ability to listen making all these items more prominent in women. Thus, the left frontal lobe, the emotional control centre of the brain, was denser in women than in men. So before calling her crazy and assuming she’s out to get you, she’s only trying to grab everything you’re saying to prevent from responding with something bad as opposed to men who just spill out whatever is on their mind.
14. Women Are Really Emotional
You probably knew this already but what you don’t know is she relies heavily on words to communicate her feelings to you. In other words, she wants to be heard while still discovering what she is feeling. So if you think she’s talking a lot because she simply loves to torture you, then think again. Your girlfriend or wife is probably talking more than she should be because she’s either trying to figure out how she feels or she’s trying to express her feelings in the simplest terms for you.
At the end of the day, she has good intentions; she’s trying to resolve the issue and make it easier for you to understand. Knowing how men aren’t the best conversationalists, she wants to make sure you know where she stands by communicating in the easiest way which can take a while. So give her time to express herself because she’s doing you a service at the same time as communicating her feelings. Remember, women are multitaskers so it’s no surprise when she speaks, she’s trying to speak for the both you.
13. Women Love Communicating
It’s just in our nature. When she needs to confront you about something, the number one thing you need to do is communicate. This doesn’t mean talk over her, but it initially means to listen to her. Women love using words to express how she is feeling and the best thing you can do to make her feel better is to listen and be present; not bash her that she’s “fighting” too much. If you happen to interrupt, or be stubborn about your own feelings, you’re only extending the conversation longer. Get rid of your ego and start considering your partner’s feelings. One of the most frustrating things to women and people in general is passing judgement. If you’re already jumping to conclusions that she is a “psycho” because she wants to talk to you, you either need to grow up or swallow your pride and listen to what she has to say.
12. Women Don’t Care About Money
A perfect example is gift giving. It doesn’t matter how much it was, what matters is the thought behind it. If you’re used to dealing with someone who makes money a priority, then you need to change your taste in women. But generally, when she receives a gift from you that came from the heart, it’s going to make her day. As long as it wasn’t a setup or plotted in some way, she’ll be happy with whatever you gave her. A thoughtful small gift can go a long way compared to an expensive one that cost your pocket for nothing. It’s a win, win situation.
Same goes when going out for dinner or an activity. If she’s always relying on you to pay for everything, then you have a red flag and need to get out. Otherwise, communicate how you’re going to split the cost. She’s not going to care or look down on you if you don’t pay for the whole thing. It shouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings if you both are on the same page.
11. Women Notice All The Details
In general, we all notice things that nobody else notices about ourselves. It’s called being self-conscious. However, when it comes to women, this universal concept is taken to a whole other level. By being educated on how self-conscious women are, you save all those times calling her crazy for pointing out insignificant things. She’s not crazy, she just sees things you don’t see because ultimately, she’s naturally self-conscious like Alyssa Milano said.
For Esquire, Milano opened up about some things you might not know about the female mindset. “Women are innately self-conscious. This is not a choice; it’s a gender wide condition. On a bad day, I look in the mirror and see my ten-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Bertha,” she explains. “On a really bad day, Bertha sees her two-hundred-pound-heavier alter ego. Her name is Brian Dennehy.” It’s hard to avoid what we notice because it’s there despite if you notice it or not. An example are red flags. You might not know what you’re doing wrong but that doesn’t make you innocent. If it’s an obvious red flag and you didn’t mean to hurt her feelings; apologize and apologize genuinely.
10. Women Like Getting Hit On
This one’s kind of a twist. You know how women overreact when a guy checks her out? As if she got turned off? And you think she’s crazy for making such a big deal about it? Well, she’s pretty much just doing that – overreacting. She’s afraid if she goes along with it, she’s going to lead you on thinking she wants to date you or she’s going to look a certain way. Deep inside though, she enjoys getting hit on because it’s flattering. So you might call her crazy for making a scene but just be aware she’s putting on an act. Take Australian actress, Poppy Montgomery. She explains to Esquire how women like it when you hit on her. “When considering whether or not to ask out the girl you’re afraid to talk to, keep this in mind: No matter who you are or what you look like, it’s always flattering when you hit on us. Always.” Same goes when in a relationship, except, don’t hit on her during inappropriate times like when she wants to confront you about something seriously. The worst thing you can do is change the subject to avoid confrontation.
9. Women Don’t Think As Rational As Men
As emotional driven beings, women think more with their heart while men think more with their head. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing depending on the situation. Just because you think more logically, doesn’t make you any better than her. Sometimes, it’s good to have someone think outside of the box than what society has brainwashed you to think.
But lucky for men, they shouldn’t take everything she says at face value since she is probably talking more with her feelings. However, it’s important to understand this and have compassion rather than look at her like she’s being crazy. Perhaps what makes him poke fun at her is his rational mindset. He’s too busy thinking logically while ignoring her feelings which no surprise, causes her to get even more upset. Pay attention to her even if what she is saying isn’t making sense at the moment. In the end, she’s communicating as thoroughly as she can.
8. Women Like To Defend Themselves
This is probably one of the reasons why she can’t seem to stop talking. Again, women are really emotional and want you to know where you both stand. With that being said, when you pinpoint something and misunderstand where she’s coming from, usually in a negative way, she’s going to come out and defend herself. Most likely she’s hurt and concerned so if you’re calling her the b word, it’s not going to be a pretty turnout. In fact, you’re only causing what you want to avoid.
Aside from how women are when it comes to arguing, men are not great communicators. So with that in mind, don’t you think the reason why “fighting” happens is because you as a man lack communication skills? You’re not helping the situation. This is not to say it’s entirely your fault but it would be nice to take responsibility for some of the chaos as opposed to playing the blaming game. Once you began to take responsibility on your part, she won’t feel like she has to defend herself because you’re listening and learning how she’s feeling rather than attacking her.
7. Women Don’t Like Drama
I know, shocker. At the end of the day, we have good intentions behind the fighting and bickering. All we want is to have a good relationship that includes trust and happiness. Without trust, there’s never moving forward. There’s always going to be at least one person in the relationship who is making things awkward because they’re insecure with the way things are going. We can agree that most of the time it is the girlfriend who’s making things awkward or simply killing the mood. It’s not on purpose. Newsflash, girls want to be happy, too, in the relationship.
However, just like men, it’s hard communicating feelings to the other party without it coming off the wrong way. As said before, one of the main reasons couples can’t stop arguing is because there’s a big misunderstanding between the two. Women usually get misunderstood as “crazy” and it can either be hurtful when all they’re trying to do is resolve the issue or it can completely push the wrong button and that’s when you get your “crazy girl.” So don’t push her the wrong way when all she wants is to be happy with you.
6. Women Like Interaction
Of course it depends on the person, if they have a shy personality or are more outgoing. But at the end of the day, girls like to talk about all sorts of things, especially with others and that includes argumentation. A study held by Northeastern University suggested that women are more likely to collaborate and interact in contrast to men who like to perform tasks individually. This makes sense when you consider how it’s universally known that women are more social creatures than men. With that being said, when it comes to debating and arguing, women are more likely to be into it because they like that interaction and get things resolved. For men, they’re not into the interaction so that’s when they say “I don’t want to fight.” It’s not necessarily they don’t want to fight but it’s the lack of desire to interact. So you have to understand, just because your girlfriend doesn’t end the fighting doesn’t mean she likes it. She can go on and on because of her desire to interact when performing a task; in this case, resolving the issue between the two of you.
5. Women Want To Feel Loved
This should come as no surprise but you need to know this more in depth before you call her crazy. She’s not clingy or always needs attention. However, because men are more distant, it causes her to put more effort to bring you in closer, hence, what guys like to define as “clingy.” By you being far from her physically and emotionally, you’re not helping her needs to be loved. This is where you should be compassionate about how she feels at the moment. Having compassion doesn’t mean you forget about your feelings but rather consider her feelings, too. So instead of jumping to conclusions and calling her crazy because she’s been blasting your phone all day, step up and be compassionate and watch her efforts or “clinginess” go down a notch. It’s about meeting each other half way. As a guy, you don’t want to deal with drama right? So the best thing to do is to make an effort to make her feel appreciated and you’ll be on your way to diminishing the existing drama.
4. Women Are More Open-Minded
According to researcher, Dr. Zachary Estes of Warwick University, women are more likely to use “tentative” language. As a boyfriend or husband, you’re probably familiar with “I’m not sure” or “kind of.” You are not suffering alone because it just so happens that the study proposes women are much more open-minded than men meaning they’re more likely to be unsure when making a decision because they are willing to take an open-minded approach to something where for men, it’s either yes or no.
With that in mind, when she’s arguing and throwing things at you from left to right, she’s not crazy. She’s thinking of all the possible things that could be happening. This is why it’s hard to gain a women’s trust back because even if she forgives you, she’s still insecure thinking about what you might have done behind her back. Not saying it’s easy to gain a man’s trust again because in fact, for men it’s even harder. Since they think black and white, once they make the decision to not forgive her, it’s done with. Same thing goes with when he’s apologizing; he thinks saying sorry or not is all it takes and then they can move on. There’s more to it which is why when you do apologize, she’s not sure if she should forgive you or not. She’s just overall not sure what to believe because there’s a million possibilities going on in her head. At this point, be understanding of a woman’s open-mindedness before thinking she’s crazy for her never-ending thoughts and arguments. She’s just thinking a lot at once because she wants to make the right decision.
3. Women Naturally Feel More Pain Than Men
So what do you do when she starts to break down and blow things out of proportion in the middle of the conversation? You need to understand that her over the top actions are most likely due to the pain she is going through at the moment. She doesn’t mean to yell at you. Her outbursts are coming from hurt feelings and she can’t help it.
According to a study on the website of FitBrains, women tend to feel more pain than men because of the amygdala of the brain, the area where pain is felt. The left amygdala of the brain has more connections with internal functions which happens to be activated in women. In contrast, the right side, which has more connections to external functions, is activated in men. In other words, science explains how women can’t handle pain like men can. They’re literally consumed by emotions. If you’re wondering why she can’t just ignore her feelings like you do, well there you go; it’s not built in her to disregard how she’s feeling. It can get pretty complicated when you consider how the guy completely disregards his feelings just to avoid confrontation while she is stuck there with no one to support her, therefore, loses control. This is a major key why tension strikes or how guys like to say, “she’s being psycho.”
2. Women Just Want Honesty
Trust is the root of a successful relationship. Without it, you can’t be fully happy and happiness is what ties the relationship together. So at the end of the day, as long as you’re being genuine with everything you do for her, things should go well.
A good example is when you know you’ve done something wrong but hide it from her. She’s already mad that she senses something off so don’t make it worse by not being straight up about it. You’re only causing the argument to last longer. That’s right; it’s not her fault the argument lasted all day. It’s actually yours. If you can just be honest about what you did, you’d be saving so much time. We’re not going to stop heckling you until you tell the truth! With that being said, sometimes men think they’ll resolve the issue by saying what we supposedly want to hear. Wrong; it’s the complete opposite. Not only you are not going to get away with whatever you did by lying, but you’re defeating your purpose of ending the “fight.” Just stick to the truth. Honesty is the best policy.
1. Women Want You To Show Emotion
That is right. The main reason why women can’t stop arguing or “fighting” is because they’re trying to bring the emotional side out of you. Stop trying to hide your feelings because society taught you to do that. Yes, we understand that boys are taught to avoid their emotions and conquer their masculine side to gain more respect. But when it comes to relationships, the truth is we want you to express yourself, therefore, there isn’t going to be any judgement. Plus, it’s not like you’re being taped on a reality TV show and everyone is watching so you have the freedom to express yourself in addition to our support.
There’s no point in being prideful pretending as if you don’t feel any pain, because women can see through it and they’re not going to stop “nagging” you until you open up. So like the popular saying goes, “the only reason women are crazy is because men do stupid things to make us go crazy.” Overall, save the ego for the outside world because women could care less. It’s about being honest and real when it comes to disputing in relationships.