This is going to be a tough article for some of you guys out there. Here you are doing your thing, acting as cool as you possibly think you can act, but still you are not getting quite the results that you want. The cool guys that you want to hang out with seem to shy away when you roll up to them, and the women that you are trying to hook up with don’t seem to be interested at all. What could be the problem? You are doing everything right, are you not?
Well, the problem is simple. No one likes you. How could that be? You do everything right, you follow every trend, you wear the right clothes, and keep your body in shape. How could people not like you? Well, my friend, that is pretty much it right there.
You try way too hard to be cool, and pretty much the one way to guarantee that you will not be cool is to try too hard to be so. Let me break it down for you. Every single thing that you do is irritating, even more so because you think that it is not. There are literally hundreds of things that you should probably change about yourself, but since this is a list and not a book we are going to have to stick to 15 of them.
Here are 15 signs no one likes you. Don’t get mad at me for letting you know, these are the types of things that only your best friends would tell you. The problem is you don’t have any of those.
15. You Take Bathroom Selfies
Let’s keep this kind of simple for those of you that need more help than others. Don’t do this, not under any circumstances. Yeah I get it, there is a mirror in the bathroom, and hey, you are in the bathroom too, so why not take a photo and splash it all over social media? Well, for a couple reasons. For one thing you are in a public bathroom, and not being able to resist taking a photo of yourself a few seconds after you just used it shows a shocking lack of impulse control, but more importantly it shows you to be that cloying desperate-to-impress type that people just don’t like. Save your selfies for when you are someplace interesting, or even better, when you are at home. Come on man! Have some dignity for crying out loud.
14. Gang Sign Selfies
Unless you are the ghost of Tupac, or Aaron Hernandez, stay far away from this one if you want people to like you. The gang sign in the photo is used by two vastly different types of people. Sometimes, very rarely, the gang sign is used by people who are actually in gangs, that are letting you know they should not be messed with. The other type of person is someone that is not in a gang, and is purely trying to make it look like they should not be messed with. Most of the people in the latter group are white, spend a lot of time at the mall, and usually are found throwing down their gang signs in their mom’s attic, or before they are about to eat a big burrito at Chipotle. If your goal is to have people laugh at you, then by all means throw down.
13. You Let Everyone Know About Your Workout
Hey man, this article is all about honesty right? So let’s be honest. No one cares about your workout. Stop talking about it maybe? We don’t care that you worked on your back yesterday, and today is leg day, and that you had a hard day at work, but you are going to the gym anyway, “no pain, no gain” all of that stuff. We really do not care, not even a little bit. This is part of the reason that no one likes you. If you want to go to the gym, just go. You do not have to tell everyone about how you are going, or how it went when you were there. You do not have to post photos to your social media to show how much progress you have made. In fact, you don’t have to do anything at all other than just go to the gym, because you feel like it.
12. You Give Advice To People Better At Things Than You
For the love of all that is holy, do not be this guy. Just don’t. Wait a minute, I almost forgot, people don’t like you, so you actually probably are this guy. If you don’t quite know what I mean by this, let me give you some examples. If you don’t have your driver’s license, don’t tell your friend that works on cars how to drive. If you have never had sex don’t tell your hound of a buddy how to pick up a girl, if you are overweight don’t tell your friend that works out how to lose weight. In fact, just shut up until you get this whole concept. There is almost nothing that makes someone like you less than being a know it all blowhard. The truly sad thing is, you are not impressing anyone, and I mean that literally.
11. You Use Instagram More Than A Chick Does
We know, Smartphones are cool and you like to impress people, so you spend a lot of time on Instagram. Did you ever notice though that most of the people that are posting on there as much as you are all chicks? Did you ever think that might be because it is not all that cool to spend all your time on it if you are a guy? So basically this is sort of an allegory for your whole life- guys think you are lame because you are trying too hard to impress chicks on Instagram, and girls think you are lame because you are constantly all over their feed and putting up totally lame photos of you eating brunch or at the beach. Are you starting to sense a trend yet? The stuff you do that you think is impressing people just makes them think you are a total dub.
10. You Are A Bad Tipper
Oh hey Playa, what is up? There you are hitting up the bar, or the club, or even the local diner, and you are ready to impress with how cool you are. The only thing is though, you aren’t cool at all. People that act rude to waitresses or bartenders are always the worst. In fact if I go out with someone and they are snappy with the staff I know that there is something off about them. But even worse are the people that tip badly. 15% is the absolute minimum, and even that makes me suspicious. If you are out on a date and trying to be all cool and pick up the check and then leave a bad tip? Not cool, not at all. There are going to be a few people at that point that do not like you- one is going to be the waitress and one is going to be the woman that you took out, assuming she has any class.
9. You Wear Too Much Cologne
Hey man, you know all those ads that you see where a guy is not having any luck with the ladies, then all of a sudden he puts on cologne and it is like he is Hugh Hefner at the Playboy Mansion with women crawling all over him? Well, those are ads for a reason. The stone cold truth of the matter is, most colognes smell awful and most guys put on way too much of it. When you go talk to a hot chick after putting on too much cologne you might as well wear a sign around your neck that says “I am a clueless bro, run as fast as you can.” I know you think that the cologne gives you a leg up on the competition, but the harsh reality is that the opposite is true. Wearing all of that cologne is just another of the many reasons that no one likes you.
8. You Brag On Your Impressive Friends
Now this one is a tad confusing for those guys that people don’t like. It is literally a Catch-22 situation. The thing is that deep down inside, the guy knows people don’t like him and is insecure about it, so he brags a lot. He does not just brag about himself, because he knows he isn’t enough, so he brags about all the cool people he knows and hangs out with. It could be that he has rich friends, or that he has famous friends, or that his last girlfriend was a model. You get the picture. Blah, blah, blah. This might seem like a good plan to get people to like you, but like everything else on this list it really just makes people wish that the guy would just shut up. No one cares about how you and your super cool buddy are going to go out on a boat this weekend with a bunch of hot chicks. I mean that. No one cares.
7. You Tell Everyone About Cheating On Your Girlfriend
All right, so this one is a little complicated. It is not cool to cheat on your girlfriend, we should all know that, but we are not talking about the guys that cheat and recognize it as something that is wrong, that they keep a secret, and maybe tell one of two close friends. No, the reason we don’t like you is that you not only cheat on your girlfriend, then you tell everyone about it like it is supposed to be cool, or funny, or something. This is just one more nail in the coffin for you as far as people liking you goes. You were lucky enough to get a girlfriend in the first place, and now you are not only cheating on her but expecting to get high fives for it? Cheating does not make you interesting, dude, it just is another reason not to like you.
6. You Are Late All The Time
After reading a lot of these other stories on this list, this one might not seem like that big of a deal, but oh it is. I had a buddy at one point that was cool enough, but every single time we were supposed to hook up I ended up showing up on time and sitting there until he showed up- sometimes 45 minutes later. This may seem minor, but it actually says a lot about a person. If you are going to keep your friend, or even worse your date, sitting around while you do whatever, and then show up super late that shows that you are only thinking about yourself, and guess what, that is not a good quality. If you have enough bad qualities sooner or later people are not going to like you, which is exactly what happened to you.
5. You Are A Beer Snob
Wait a minute, how can this be? Craft beer is on the rise, and there is a new brew pub, or sometimes ten new brew pubs, in every town out there. But hang on now. There is a big difference between the guy that likes a good beer and goes to the local brew pub, and the guy that has to tell you everything about the kind of beer he is drinking and acts like the whole thing is “Oh so cool.” Listen dude, no one cares, and you talking on and on about things like “mouthfeel” and “cask conditioning” makes everyone around you want to punch you in the face. In fact have you ever been punched in the face? If not, it is kind of amazing, because no one likes you. Forgive me if I have mentioned that once or twice before.
4. You Check In Everywhere On Facebook
I know you are probably getting the point by now, although since no one likes you, and haven’t for a long time, one would think that maybe you would have gotten the point a long time ago. And the point is, stop trying to act cool and impress people. One of the biggest ways that people make fools out of themselves doing this is the good old Facebook check in. Oh hey, look I am at this trendy club, now I am at this really cool dive bar, and look I am tagging all the other people I am with right now. While the idiot doing this is under the false impressions that they are being cool, the harsh reality is that everyone else is sitting at home chilled out watching Netflix and not jealous at all. Why are they not jealous about being out with you? Seriously? No one likes you. Pay attention.
3. You Brag About How Nice You Are
Here is the thing. Nice people do nice things for one reason, and one reason only. They do them to be nice. They do not do nice things so they can tell people what nice things they do all the time. In fact, as soon as you start blabbing around how you gave that homeless guy a dollar, or went over to mow your mom’s lawn just because, then all of a sudden it does not seem like you did it to be nice, it seems like you did it so other people would think you were nice. Now let’s face facts, as hard as it might be. If you really were nice, people would like you, but they don’t, which leads me to believe all the so called “nice” things you do are just for show.
2. You Think Driving Like An Idiot Is Cool
Now, since people don’t like you, the fact is that you probably do not have a whole lot of people in your car with you when you drive around. On the rare occasion that you actually do have someone get in the car with you, please try and not drive like a total maniac, all right? It is just another sign of your insecurity and your need to impress. Speeding around, swerving back and forth between lanes, and screaming death threats at other drivers is just plain not cool, not even a little bit. In fact, no one likes people that do this. You may at some point find some other idiot in your car that thinks it is fun to drive that way, but guess what? No one likes him either. And sooner or later you two won’t like each other as well.
1. Your Name Is Kanye West
We would be most remiss in our duty if we did not share this one last thing. We have to admit that this was not the most scientific study of all time. While it is almost 100% certain that if you have most, or even some of the other 14 things on this list then almost everyone will not like you, there are still some people that could do all of these things and still be liked by a few people. The only thing that is 100% certain as a reason that no one likes you is that you are actually Kanye West. He is literally totally foolproof as being someone that is just universally disliked by all. I mean come on! Look, even Kim Kardashian, maybe she loves him, that is up for debate, but there is no way that she actually likes him. Nobody does.