So, times are tough, and you want to find yourself a sugar mama. If you think that it’ll be an easy task — not just finding and landing a wealthy lady, but also maintaining the relationship — you might be sorely mistaken. It takes work, time, skill and effort to do both. You can’t just jump into the game, unpolished, and expect to have any sort of success as a sugar baby.
Despite the antiquated “glass ceiling,” there are more women today out earning and out performing than ever before, and that’s in no small part because more women than men are enrolling in and graduating from University. So, with the increased potential of landing a sugar mama, keep in mind that a sugar baby isn’t a kept man. As a sugar baby, you’ll be expected to know certain things, like how to carry yourself and a conversation. You’re a showpiece for the educated sugar mama, not a well-kept secret, and in this respect you’re essentially working a job.
While there may be some overlap in the skill set, you’re aim is not to be a player. Rather, you’re looking for something a bit more long-term. There are numerous “dating” websites that cater to the “sugar mama” demographic, but what you’ll find here is a guide to help you in your quest of landing a sugar mama.
14) Be Confident
“I want an insecure, self-conscious, low self-esteem man,” said no woman ever. That’s because women want a confident man, which shows strength and the ability to provide and protect. While this may seem to contradict the dichotomy of the sugar mama/sugar baby relationship, it still holds water. Just because a sugar mama is the “provider,” doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want to feel safe and protected, or that you couldn’t provide should you need to.
13) Take Care of Yourself
It’s not every woman who desires a fit and trim man, but being so doesn’t hurt you either… for the most part. But perhaps when a woman does find 0% body fat appealing, it has more to do with the man’s pride and determination to cultivate a healthy lifestyle than with his actual appearance. In the case of a sugar mama, maybe she sees a fit sugar baby as someone who can provide the type of youthful energy she craves. As stated elsewhere here, you are a sugar mama’s show piece, so while you don’t have to be chiseled like an underwear model, you shouldn’t be a slob either.
12) Cultivate Your Look
Unless you’re seeking a specific type of sugar mama, like a heavy metal or horror PR firm executive, then you’ll want a fairly clean, modern, and stylish look. For the most part, this means no Birkenstocks, cargo shorts, tank tops, or anything that you’d wear to the gym. Blazer and t-shirt? Check. Well-kept beard and/or scruff? Check. Slim fit pants? Check. Styled hair? Check. Good smelling and functional grooming products? Check. Manicured nails? Check. Naturally, you should dress appropriate for the social situation, but in general you should be well booted and suited.
11) Be Well-Informed on Current Events
It’s true; not everyone wants to talk about politics or Isis or the Boston bomber, but knowing the headlines can’t hurt. At the very least, these subjects can serve as conversation openers to help you gauge where your sugar mama is at, and what her personal interests are. Don’t forget the local and celebrity news. As well, when she takes you out to social events, you won’t look like an embarrassing dimwit and she’ll be proud to have you as her date.
10) Be Cultured/Worldly
Similar to the entry above, but with a slight variance, is being cultured and/or worldly. This, however, has less to do with what’s going on in the world right now and more to do with knowing about art, literature, music and history. Knowing something about the historical periods in each of these topics and a few of the key players should help you impress your sugar mama and prevent you from looking like a monkey at the party. Knowledge here will show that you’re learned and able to gracefully handle high-end social situations, which you’ll likely find yourself in if you have a sugar mama.
9) Be Well-Mannered
Some say that chivalry is dead, but if you have a sugar mama paying the way, it’s the least you can do to open doors, walk on the outside of the sidewalk, pull out her chair, etc. for her. Of course, being well-mannered is more than just treating her like a lady. This is the big league, and it’s inexcusable to act like you’re in a frat house. Being rude and having a negative attitude shows that you’ve grown comfortable with the situation, which you should never do when you have a sugar mama. You can’t take this arrangement for granted, so please, be kind.
8) Have a Sense of Humor
This is dating advice that’s as old as dating advice itself. When women list the qualities that they want in a mate, a sense of humor is often in the top three. That’s because women want to laugh, to have a good time, and to be entertained. Also, someone possessing a solid sense of humor, especially the witty kind, is likely to have a strong intellect, which is another quality women want. Being funny and charming can and does trump looks, so hone those skills. It’s up to you to find out what kind of humor your potential sugar mama prefers.
7) Spend Money
You know the expression “It takes money to make money”? Well, the same principle applies to finding a sugar mama. You will have to spend money to cultivate your look, to visit the same haunts as sugar mamas do, to shower and spoil her in the early stages of the relationship, and, in general, to fit the part of sugar baby. Fact of the matter is that being an impoverished slouch isn’t going to cut mustard. You actually have to be something in order to attract a sugar mama. Unless, of course, she has a fetish for transforming a man.
6) Have Goals and Aspirations
Truth be told, women like it when men have goals and aspire for something more — even success and financially independent sugar mamas. So, whether it’s college classes, a business, a pursuit of passion, or an adventurous hobby, make sure that you have your own agenda and dreams to live for. Not only will they keep you busy when you’re not pondering the ways to please your sugar mama, but they’ll also make you more desirable in her eyes.
5) Where To Spend Your Time
If you don’t already know, one of the first things that you’ll have to learn is where to find a sugar mama. As mentioned, there are websites that cater to this niche market, but there are other options that might suit you better.
It might sound cliche, but find a watering hole where affluent women frequent. It’s not the case for every person, but often the women who go to such establishments are looking for just what you’re offering. Other options include press events, art shows, plays, symphonies, charitable events, an upscale gym, wine tastings, and many others. Choose one that ties into your own interests so you don’t look like a fake, and go.
4) Be Attentive, Romantic and Complimentary
A sugar mama isn’t in it to be mistreated (obviously), taken for granted, or to live an unromantic life. She’s in it for the exact opposite, and it’s your job to exceed her expectations. And in order to be attentive, romantic, and complimentary, you will have to hone your listening skills to find out the specifics that she craves. What’s more, you’ll probably have to be willing to drop everything to do anything she wants.
3) Be Flirtatious
Flirting is an artform unto itself. Learn it, because it is what attracts women, even sugar mamas. But to go beyond the baboonish, “hey, you’re really hot” or “you smell great” and the like, you’ll have to incorporate some humor in your delivery. Again, you’ll have to find what feels natural for you and works for her. Trial and error is your best friend. Also, learn about the negative hit; the idea of giving a compliment wrapped up in a small, subtle insult.
2) Let Her Pursue You
Once you’ve established contact, done a bit of flirting, and mutual interest is achieved, it’s time to let the sugar mama do the pursuing. As a successful woman who’s made her own way professionally and with finance, she’s used to having a certain level of control in any given situation. This situation is no different, and she might need to feel as though she made the catch. This is a bit of a role reversal since women often do this to men on a regular basis in typical situations.
1) Know Your Place
Sure, you have a sugar mama providing for you. Sure, you’re getting some high-end toys and living the life of luxury. But you have to know your place in the relationship and toe the line. If you show the slightest bit of disinterest or dissatisfaction, or if you flirt with other women, you’re flirting with disaster and you can basically see your way out the door. Your sugar mama is investing in you and she expects you to be invested in her. While she wants you to be happy and to have fun, she also wants you to be thinking about her and ways to surprise her, ways to make her happy, and ways to satisfy her needs. Your place is at her side and doing everything you can to make her feel secure and fulfilled.