For all their notorious complications, it is actually pretty easy to gauge the secret fantasies of any average Jane. I mean, apart from shoes, clothes, accessories; kids, domestic help, bedroom fun, a fulfilling career (for the career minded) and a helpful, understanding life partner, feature on almost all female minds.
Yet, for all their self-professed uncomplicated and uncluttered lifestyles, it is much harder to gauge the secret fantasies of the average Johns. One can of course imagine that it would contain things like football games, television time, comfortable couches, dogs, a gang of friends, fast and greasy burgers/pizzas, bedroom antics, a high paying high flying career and a loving, non nagging life partner to keep the home and heart running. Yet, one can never be sure, can they? Lest one be tagged as a sexist generalizer! At the risk of this very same censure, here’s a take on the 13 secret fantasies that every man (or most men) has and instead of having us playing guessing games, will surprisingly admit to.
13) Be Fit
Most men, even those who are slightly out of shape, wish to be fit or at least look it! Some admit it out loud, some find themselves caught between the desire for a great body and the desire to reach for that greasy burger, while yet others wish they had more time for the gym. But irrespective of their situation, most men want a ripped body. Well, maybe that’s a stretch! Let’s just say, most men want to look good in their bodies, keep the firmness in the right places and have belly fat that is non existent. Not quite so surprisingly, even middle aged or older men who have let themselves go when it comes to filled up middles, secretly desire to get back into some semblance of a healthy shape, especially when signs of ageing or symptoms of health issues start showing up. In this age where appearance matters, this is one male desire that most women would totally encourage and endorse!
12) Let Me Be, I Won’t Change
Every man (or at the very least most of them) will gladly tell you that they like to be left as slaves to their own habits, eccentricities and activities. I mean, there’s not a man out there who will take it lightly if you try to get him to change his ‘boys night out’ time or ‘go pick up groceries just while walking the dog please’. This is irrespective of whether you are his mom, wife, girlfriend or just a well-meaning friend. Most men dream of a life that is his own to live, choices that are his own to make, where changes if any are rare or at the very least, invited with an open mind. Unfortunately, most women have an intrinsic need to mold their own lives the way they envision them and that often involves molding her man too! Now, here’s a ‘fight till the end’ ‘tooth and nail battle’ that no one in particular relishes.
11) Variation In Bedroom Antics
There’s not a man alive who will not try and change something around if things in the bedroom are getting routine, stuffy or worse, plain boring! Most men will not shy away from expressing their need for some fun, games and variation in the bedroom and outside! Romantic evening byplays, texting each other with private mischief on your mind or role playing, may not be for everyone but most men secretly (if not openly) fantasize about them. After all, things in the bedroom should never be allowed to become banal or chore-like. A lot of men out there are not big on the long outdated gender roles, either. Most would love you to take the lead sometimes or more times, as the case may be. Loosening up a little and employing some creative antics in the bedroom might just play up to most guys’ fantasies.
10) No Questions Please
Most men fantasize about the day when they won’t have to answer odd, sometimes inconsequential and sometimes awkward questions, from their wives, girlfriends or partners. Most men especially hate the questions with the tricky answers. In their heads, they think you probably know your own weight, why ask if I look fat, right? When it comes to dressing, they told you already that you looked great in the first dress, why bother changing and re-changing and asking again. Worse, if the opinion did not matter anyway, why ask in the first place. It is the ultimate desire for a man looking forward to an evening out to come home to a ‘truly ready to leave anytime’ wife who has no unnecessary questions to ask. Ahh, heaven!
9) Hot Meals Ready On The Table
Because it sounds so archaic in today’s modern world and because the fear of feminists worldwide has bought such vocal thoughts under control, there is not much spoken word out there on this. Yet, deep inside most men prefer to come home to hot, homemade meals that are served with a smile and lots of love. There is just no way around it. We all know the old adage – the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach! It holds true, whether covertly or overtly, for men do love their food to be ready and waiting for them at home. This secret desire, as most wives will tell you, is often not so secret, especially when the sheer delight of digging into the hot meal in front of them is clearly evident on the man’s face and in his demeanor. Hear hear, all the single ladies out there. Maybe those cooking lessons are not such a bad idea, huh?
8) Gimme That High Flying Career
Few men will deny this secret desire of theirs, which is to climb the corporate ladder to its highest possible peak and earn incrementally growing incomes. In fact, this is a desire of many women, too. Success is one’s career, be it at a job or in a business, gives most people irrespective of gender a heightened sense of self worth and in males especially, it feeds the column tagged ‘fulfillment’. Of course job satisfaction must go hand in hand. It could also be that a great job and good incomes come with a whole flurry of lifestyle upgrades that everyone aspires for, so it seems this secret desire is a very legit one.
7) Hope You Enjoyed
Unless someone is truly the rare self-centered narcissist, most men have the secret desire of giving fulfillment to their partners, while they take their own pleasures in the boudoir. In fact, most men get a true and real high knowing that their partners enjoyed just as much as they did. Chalk it down to a feeling of supreme masculinity, but the fact that a woman is satisfied in the bedroom speaks volumes to a man’s sense of masculinity and since it is something to be prided, most men also have this sometimes unspoken, unexpressed desire.
6) No Chores Works Best For Me
What is the ultimate desire of every single man on the planet? The best-ventured guess would probably be a life without any chores. Even the most helpful of men hates doing the laundry or raking up the garden leaves on a weekend. Same goes for DIY projects. Indeed there are many men out there who love showing off their DIY skills but for the most part, men would rather call in help when the garbage disposal clogs up or if a new window needs to be made in the wall!
5) Leave Out The Details
Well, most men hate arguments and most consider discussions to be a prelude to them. Most women on the other hand, love detailed discussions on issues in the effort to resolve the issue once and for all. In an ideal world, a man would indeed own up to the secret desire of avoiding arguments altogether by stopping the flow of details. Most men would rather sweep the whole issue under the rug, rather than pick up the pieces after a fallout. Most men have the secret desire that their spouse, partner or girlfriend would just leave out the details and get straight to the point when talking to them.
4) Go Glam And Elegant
Yes, you look good in your overalls, glasses and ponytails, and we are sure you are comfortable that way as well. Yet, it is the secret desire of almost every man to have you dressed more stylishly, not just when in company of others but also in the company of them. Of course it does not mean that you need to be ultra glam and made up all the time, but most men would prefer that you pay attention to your looks even when no one’s looking. It could stem from their need to show you off to the world or just the internal need to know that you look good and you’re theirs!
3) Want Others To Get Jealous
Though most men would never admit to it, they all do have the secret desire to show off their ladies and fluff up their egos, knowing that theirs is the best gal in town. Men love their girls to have intelligence, sophistication, elegance as well as ease, enough to not just get their other guy friends impressed, but also enough for them to be one half of the star couple at any party. Quite frankly, most men with these fantasies have too unrealistic an expectation from their ladies, for it is truly rare for any girl to have the right blend of it all. Yet, for better or worse, this is one secret desire that most men share.
2) Want To Feel Special
Who said Valentine’s Day is only important to girls, or even important dates such as birthdays and anniversaries. For reasons best known to them, most men hide it, but it is truly a lesser-known desire of men that they wish to be pampered too. Send a man an anonymous bouquet or get his favorite tie wrapped and delivered as an unexpected surprise at work and there’s no man who would claim to hate it. Most people love to feel special and it seems men are no different to women in this regard.
1) Let Me Check Out Other Women
One must know that men are wired differently to women. So when a man’s secret desire is one where he can look around all he likes without fear of being judged, at the other felines in the room, bar or workplace, it is hardly a crime. After all, only after checking out the rest of the available options can a man truly know that his choice was the best! In an ideal desire world, most men wish their ladies would take their wandering eyes in the right spirit and be a sport. After all, looking and admiring is hardly a lifetime commitment.