The other woman has been a problem in relationships going back centuries. Men kept second, third, fourth, even tenth wives at their disposal. As time went on and cultures evolved the idea of men having more than one woman sharing their bed became frowned upon, so much so that the other woman became somewhat of a punching bag, looked down upon, and treated badly. While no one is agreeing that the other woman is an innocent bystander and no one is condoning cheating, there a few truths about the other woman that society tends to forget. They are not all bad people, sometimes they just get caught in their own drama. A relationship consists of two people but unfortunately in life not everyone is loyal to their partners and sees cheating as a way to escape a reality that they did not realize they hated, until that very moment when they engage in that extramarital affair. A key element in cheating is the other person; who is this person? Why would they do this to someone? Newsflash!!! There are chances that she is not who you assume she is, and the real jerk in this triangle is your shady partner. However, there is also a chance that she is just as cruel as you had assumed and you have every reason to hate her. The other woman is a complex creature that every woman who has been cheated on wants to stalk, decipher and one up through as many acts of revenge as possible.
12. She Feels Unlovable
She may come off as a cold hearted shrew that is out to steal your man, but sometimes that is just not the case. The fact is a lot of women who become the other women lack confidence; they sometimes feel like they are unlovable and therefore do not deserve anything better than a scummy man who is only looking for some extra fun on the side. However, do not get it twisted, the other woman is not always meek, insecure and lacking in something essential to life, she sometimes just knows what she has and uses it to her advantage; who knows, your man could be getting played as well.
11. She Will Fight Harder For Him Than You (In Some Cases)
If she genuinely believes she is happy and content with your man, then chances are she has no clue you even exist. Keep in mind that at this point she believes she may have met the man of her dreams, why is this you ask? Because chances are he is treating her better than he is treating you (they are still in their honeymoon phase). If (and when) she does find out about you there is a solid chance that she will not go away easily or quietly for that matter. She may be the “side chick” to you and everyone else but in her head she is the main chick, the one better than you who was able to steal your man away.
10. She Honestly Believes She Is Right
She truly believes she is in the right. She sees nothing wrong with involving herself with your significant other and she truly believes that she has the upper hand in this love triangle. What makes her feel even more secure is the fact that your husband, boyfriend or whatever you want to refer to him as, has initiated the relationship. This has made her feel like queen of the castle and in return, she feels like he will always pick her over you. He has not made her feel like a bad person for what she has done and at this point, if he has nothing negative to say then she has no reason to feel bad.
9. She Thinks/Wants To Be Number One
The goal of the other woman is to be number one. She wants what you have and will stop at almost nothing to get it. Do not expect her to go away any time soon, she has a game plan and would like to see it play out. To the other woman, being number one is everything; it means status, it means bragging about having a “good man” because if someone else wanted him, how could he not be a great catch? This “number one” mentality can come from a number of places, her lack of reassurance in past relationships, her sense of challenge, or her straight up no compassion policy that she lives her life by.
8. She Is Fixated
If things go south and your significant other is ready to be a one-woman-man again, this does not automatically mean that your life will go back to normal. She may consider him to be one of the best boyfriends she has had (he learned how to be a great boyfriend from his real girlfriend), so don’t be shocked that she is not so easily willing to give that up. Her fixation on him can come into play and she will become your worst nightmare. Giving up on a good relationship is hard to do, especially if it ends abruptly and without closure.
7. She Didn’t Trick Him Into Loving Her
While affairs have a horrible statistic for lifelong success, there is no doubt that real love can come from a brief fling or an emotional affair. Now now, before we all get on our high horses about how an affair can ruin lives (no one is disputing this), sometimes an affair leads to people experiencing what love is really like. This is not all her fault no, one can force someone to fall in love with them, nor can they trick someone into loving them. People feel what they want to feel and because your husband broke his vows and fell in love with another woman, it does not mean it’s ALL her fault.
6. She Usually Knows That He Has A Partner
Not every woman that has the other woman status is clueless about what her partner is doing behind her back. Some women engage in affairs because they are also looking to escape their significant other and the less than satisfactory life that they are leading. While it starts out as innocent, it can rapidly turn into something more. While they know they are wrong they feel safer because their partner is also in a relationship and therefore understands what it means to have a lot at stake. There is a lot of emotion in relationships like this one; guilt so easily eats the other woman alive but yet, not enough for her to give up on a “good thing”.
5. She Loves Him Just As Much As You Do
Believe it or not you are not the only one who can love your man; she may be the other woman but her feelings can be just as genuine as yours. There is no doubting that when you spend an abundance of time with someone that feelings are bound to develop. She is not in it just for the sex; she too can fall in love and be wrapped up in the relationship that they have formed together, which is no doubt an entirely different dynamic than what you and he have. Being the other woman does not mean you lack emotions or morals.
4. Or… She Is Being Spiteful
There is also a good chance that she just likes your man for the things he can do for her. Every girl likes nice things whether they want to admit it or not. If you have any enemies, some chicks are just crazy enough to use their smarts and infiltrate your relationship, and get back at you for whatever menial thing you could have done to them. Women are not only scorned by men they can be scorned by their girlfriends, family and any random person on the street; however, it takes a special (AKA crazy) woman to take it this far, but don’t doubt for one minute that they are not out there. Google it, you would be shocked at what you find.
3. She Will Almost Always Be Your Exact Opposite
Guys always claim that you are their type and they do not like this kind of girl or that kind of girl but oddly enough, if they end up cheating on you, the exact kind of girl who they claim they would never be interested in is the kind of girl they are bedding. What the hell is going on here? It makes you wonder if this is what they wanted the whole time. If it was, where did the honesty go or why did they date you instead? It is not limited to the physical either, it also includes personality.
2. She May Not Have Been The Initiator
Every time someone is cheated on they assume some temptress came in and swooped their man right out of their arms. It looks like it is all the other woman’s fault and the current girlfriend has every name in the book lined up to call her new found competitor, some more derogatory than others. Unfortunately, the truth is, the women in these cases are not usually the initiators, they go off of the vibe that the male is giving them and if your significant other is giving them an “I’m single vibe”, all bets are off. So before you attack her physically or mentally, keep in mind that it was your man who opened the door to the possibility.
1. She Is A Human Being
As horrible, smutty, and hateful as she seems for being involved with someone else’s man, always remember that she isn’t some creature or purposeful life destroyer, she too is caught up in a relationship with a distrustful person. Anger can make even the best of people act in a completely different way, attacking the person who you believe ruined your relationship is easier to do than dealing with the horrible emotions you feel or even blaming the person that was actually supposed to be loyal to you. She too has feelings and probably feels just as betrayed as you do.