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11 Things To Do If You Were Invisible

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11 Things To Do If You Were Invisible

With great invisibility comes great responsibility. You can’t just go running into the local locker room or stay hiding in changing rooms. That would be misusing your powers. Instead, you have to find an equal balance between the creepy and the good. If you go invisible and just do creepy stuff, you are creepy by nature. If you go invisible and do some creepy stuff AND some good stuff, there is at least some balance to your actions.

Make no mistake, being invisible means there are some shady things you HAVE to do – come on, you’re invisible! No human is good 100% of the time, and power corrupts. So invisibility will apply to that, too. As long as you are 50% good, 50% not so good, it shouldn’t unbalance the world too much.

Every single human on Earth has had the fantasy of invisibility when it comes to super powers. If they all told you it was so they could save the world, they are all lying to you. No, most people want to turn invisible because it would allow them the opportunity to do things they would not be allowed to in their daily lives. There is so much fun to be had by breaking some rules. Just don’t go FULL bad guy, because there is no coming back from that kind of high.

11. Stop A Robbery

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One really cool aspect about being invisible is that you can be the ultimate silent witness. You can be anywhere and witness anything without people knowing. That grants you a certain level of power over the people in the room who do not know you are there.

Think about doing this: head into a really poor part of a really cruddy town and just wait at a location that has a reputation for being robbed. As soon as the perps show up and start acting all crazy, you disarm them and knock them out.

The best part? The witnesses think they just got saved by a ghost. See, 50% good!

10. V.I.P

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Here’s the thing about getting V.I.P anywhere. You just need to get IN there. Once you are in the VIP section, no one asks you how you got there. They just respect the fact that you did. So, head out to all the most awesome local night spots, go invisible and just walk in to the VIP, grab a bottle of their finest liquor when no one is looking, then re-materialize.

BAM, you start showing up in all the VIP hot spots and no one knows why. BAM, you just created your own legend.

9. Free Travel

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Listen, we all know most planes are packed pretty close to capacity sometimes, but that matters little when you are invisible. You could literally walk onto the plane, go down to the cargo and pet area, and just chill until your plane lands in Dubai.

Guess what: every single thing going on in Dubai? Yup, you just turn yourself invisible and walk right in. You could, in theory, be the poorest person to ever live the high life if you pulled this one off right.

8. Borrow A Ferrari

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Let’s none of us pretend we don’t want a sports car, because we all do. That would be like saying you would rather have a piece of Salisbury steak than Kobe beef. Come on, get out of here with that nonsense. We all want to drive a sports car.

Being invisible would give us all the perfect chance. Now keep in mind, maybe keep it to just a test drive. We don’t want to encourage anyone to become a car thief, but let’s none of us pretend we wouldn’t take at least one sick car for a joy ride if we were invisible for a day, because we ALL KNOW we would.

Cops might be wary of the sports car driving by itself, so factor that in, too.

7. Ghost Press Conference

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Hold a press conference and convince the world ghosts are real and you are one of them. People will hear the disembodied voice and see things moving on their own and you will become a supernatural worldwide sensation.

Just the simple fact that you would prove the existence of ghosts (when you yourself wouldn’t even be a ghost) is kind of funny. Write a ghost book. Do ghost interviews. Milk it for all it’s worth.

6. Don’t Stare At Anyone Naked

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Let’s just spell this one out for you. There is no good way to approach this without sounding creepy. As much as you may think you would go to a locker room or backstage at a Victoria’s Secret fashion show, the reality would hit you while doing so that this was the creepiest thing ever. You may THINK you want this, but that is just one step higher than a creeper siting next to someone’s window, hoping they can see them change.

Again, with great invisibility comes great responsibility. You must ignore urges like this one. Be strong, be better than this, dammit!

5. Ghost Slap Someone You Hate

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Remember that 50% not so good?

Violence is wrong, period. Buuuuuuuut… When you are invisible, it would almost be a total waste if you did not at least slap someone awful in the face. Taste your own medicine, Chris Brown!

Ideally, this type of behavior is not encouraged, but come on. You are invisible. How many times in your life are you going to be able to take advantage of a moment so perfectly? We didn’t say stab or beat up. We said slap.

4. Haunt Someone’s House

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Alright, so this also files under being kind of creepy, but what if the person you haunt for a day or two is a real jerk? What if you deliberately choose someone who was been mean to your family or someone who kicks puppies? Not so cruel now, is it?

This one would be great fun, as you could slide things off their table and throw slices of bread at them for no good reason other than to freak them out. Hell, you could even moan and growl and make ghost noises.

You know, really sell the bit.

3. Hang Out with Celebrities

via twitter.com

via twitter.com

We all know in this modern world, if you are not famous, you don’t exist, so why not use your invisibility to rub elbows with some of the celebrities in this world? Even something as simple as showing up at the Grammys. You could just sneak in, grab an empty seat, and materialize.

You are now one of the beautiful people, standing tall among their ranks. Make sure to make your way into any selfies!

2. Fix A Sporting Event

via therichest.com

via therichest.com

Listen, all that is being said here is, if you bet a massive amount of money on a football game, then showed up invisible and did things to ensure the team you wanted won, you could be a millionaire within a week.

Plus, how funny would it be to watch some dude running down the field trip over nothing? Your sly manipulation of the sport could make it more fun to watch while also making you rich. We know it’s wrong, but this is the part of the list where we start going towards the “dark side.”

1. Drive Someone Insane

via motivamemes.com

via motivamemes.com

Okay, so maybe this entry is fully dark but deal with it. It’s called “gaslighting” and can drive someone insane really easily. All you do is show up and mess with their things, every day, ever so slightly. The trick to it is do it enough that they will notice every day, but not enough so that anyone else will.

This way, when they are all “my fridge keeps moving over an inch every day” people will just think they’re insane. If enough people have the same reaction, the person will start believing everyone else.

Congratulations, you are now officially a super villain. It didn’t take much.

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