In movies, in novels, or in our everyday lives, we can constantly see or read about a group of girl friends hanging around, talking and trying to figure out why a guy didn’t call any of them back. There have been countless books and theories centered around trying to figure out the mystery behind a guy’s mind, such as the popular book and movie He’s Just Not That Into You, written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. The fact of the matter is that there are any number of reasons a guy might not call you back. As illustrated in the movie How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, women, and even men, sometimes have these little traits or tendencies that typically scare off a prospective beau, and in other words, decrease the chances of a potential second, or even third date in the near future. With that said, here is a list of 10 things girls do on dates that result in a certainty that he’ll never call you back and ask you out again. Who knows, you might learn a thing or two before your next big date.
10) Flirting With Other People In Front of Him
Casual flirting never really hurt anyone, and at times, can even make you seem more desirable in the eyes of the other person; but always remember not to take it too far. A guy might be initially interested in the thrill of the chase, but no man is going to bother hunting if he knows he’s competing with a group of hunters all vying for the same prize. Flirt with too many people and your potential beau will either become too jealous or just too frustrated to call you back. On the first date or first encounter, remember to be flirtatious, just make sure you focus on flirting solely with him, rather than any of the other male pursuers in the room.
9) Don’t Give Him A Chance To Speak
First dates or initial encounters are meant for getting to know all about the other person; this means giving your date an actual chance to speak and talk about himself. Whether out of nervousness or simple vanity, some people may have a tendency to blab about themselves all night, without letting their dates get a word in edgewise. You may find yourself completely fascinating, but if you don’t give your date a chance to talk about himself, he’ll get bored or think you’re a total flake. One of the surest ways to make a guy disinterested is to make him feel as if he has to say or what he does isn’t interesting, and spoil the evening talking only about Y-O-U.
8) You Talked About Your Ex All Night
One of the biggest ways to scare a guy away is to talk about your previous beau, otherwise known as ‘the ex’. While you may find it fascinating or even therapeutic to talk about the man who did you wrong, the actual guy you’re on a date with isn’t going to find the conversation (or you) so intriguing. When a man is on a date he likes to know that the person he’s going out with is solely thinking about him, not about someone with whom things didn’t work. If you want a happy dating future, don’t focus on your unsuccessful dating past, especially while you are on a date.
7) You Invited Your Girlfriends (or Boyfriends) Along On The Date
Sure, it’s fun to have a group night once in a while, but when you’re just starting to get to know the guy, you need to give him time to get to know you, before he gets to know your friends…
If you’re on your first date (or one of a first few dates), it would be a better idea to have some one-on-one time before you invite him to your house for a pot-luck dinner or inviting your guy along to join you on a Girls-Night-Out. Eventually he’ll want to get to know your friends and find out what they’re like, but for now just enjoy the easy solitude and flirtation that comes from a simple two-person date; otherwise the guy might get too flustered with the friends-overload and decide it might be easier to just not to call you back.
6) You Didn’t Let Him Get His Way
Some people are simply the type to take charge and there’s nothing wrong with that… that is until you decide to take charge of absolutely everything. There are so many decisions that go into making a date; picking the time and place, ordering the meal or drink, even the place you sit, that just deciding to pick out everything yourself might seem easier, but it’ll certainly alienate your date. The types of men vary, but generally all guys like to feel like they’re contributing to a date (other than paying for the check) and pick a few date choices here and there. If you make all the decisions while going out, you’re ensuring that your date will feel emasculated, discouraged and certainly not in the mood to call you back.
5) Talk About Inappropriate Topics
Sharing a sexy secret or two on a date is perfectly acceptable; however, telling your date all about your latest trip to the urologist, or any other inappropriate information, is not a recommended move and usually comes across as a major turn-off.
Remember the person you only just started dating is not your girlfriend or your therapist, but is someone whom you consider eventually having a sexual and intimate relationship with. What this means is that you should at least try to preserve a little mystery and excitement while you still have the chance, rather than blurt out every little detail about yourself. Inappropriate information includes (but is not restricted to) any details about disgusting medical history, complaints about psycho ex-boyfriends, or any information involving any rashes you may or may not have. Remember, sharing is great and can often help solidify a new relationship, just remember not to gross the guy out or he’ll be too disgusted to even pick up the phone.
4) Criticize Him Too Much
One of the key things to remember if you want a guy to call you back is to make sure you act like a date, not like your date’s mom. In meeting someone knew, it’s extremely easy to make a simple mistake that’ll derail all hopes of a possible relationship. A major mistake that some people simply can’t stop themselves from making is critiquing the person they’re on a date with. It takes a while to settle into a pattern and either deal with or learn to love a person’s quirks, so some people might have a tendency to harp on a guy’s mistakes, such as his inability to style his hair properly or his propensity to wear too much cologne.
Dissing what he’s wearing, what cologne he uses, and the problems with the place he picked out for your date, might not come across as helpful advice so much as annoying badgering to the guy you’re going out with. If you want him to call you back, ease up on the criticism and just keep on flirting.
3) You Weren’t Acting Like Yourself
When we’re in a new relationship or just starting to get to know a person, we all do little things to make ourselves seem more attractive to the people we’re interested in; wearing make-up, fixing our hair, etc. But be careful to remember there’s a difference between wearing padded cups and faking your entire personality or looks, when you just start dating a new guy.
Despite some evidence to the contrary, guys really do want to know the real you, not some phony resemblance of yourself that you don’t even recognize. Wearing a little blush or lipstick on a date is completely fine, but hiding your entire appearance beneath make-up and body enhancers, or ever worse, acting like someone you’re not is not going to get you anywhere in the long run. Even though guys may seem a little oblivious at times, a man will usually be able to tell when their date is acting like a phony, and phony people usually don’t get a call back.
2) You Slept With Him Too Quickly
While this may sound similar to a lecture you heard from your mother, or perhaps your grandmother, sometimes it doesn’t hurt to think about keeping your milk before you start giving it out for free. Many men, though not all, are usually looking to score a little action when they go out with someone they’re not serious about yet, some men even consider the act of getting into the bedroom immediately like winning a prize. So sleeping with a guy right away, such as on the first date, might make him feel like the winner and make him lose all interest in ever calling you back.
Without trying to sl*t-shame anyone or insult the merits of sexual chemistry with someone you just started going out with, before you consider sleeping with a guy immediately, consider whether or not you want the relationship to be long-term. If you want a long-term relationship and for the guy to call back, maybe you let the relationship progress at a slower pass and wait before getting into bed with the guy you just started dating.
1) Being Too Clingy
One of the most common reasons a guy has ever given for not calling someone back is that they simply weren’t interested in a clingy date. In relationships, there are often varying definitions of what constitutes as clingy behavior, but texting a guy a few hundred times in one night or calling him your boyfriend within the first twenty minutes of a date is probably one of the quickest ways to ensure that he’s not calling you… and to make him file a restraining order against you.
First dates are supposed to be relaxed and a tester for how a future relationship might turn out. But pressing fast-forward on a first date with a new guy would not only place pressure on the relationship, but also scare the person you’re going out with. Remember that this is only the beginning, so relax and keep you’re hands to yourself if you suddenly have the urge to write and e-mail him a hundred-page sonnet describing the love you have for one another.