Being a virgin is a controversial topic; you’re damned if you do and you’re dammed if you don’t. There is never a right or wrong answer which is why it is such a personal choice. People tend to believe all of these preposterous myths about virginity when in reality, all you have to do is use your common sense to dispel a majority of them. Society puts so much emphasis on the V card; it is presented as either something that is so precious that no one but your future husband or wife should experience, or it is presented as something that is so not important that you just have to hurry up and get rid of it, so when you get to your senior year of high school or first year of College, you will not be the “only virgin in your group of friends”. The truth behind virginity, losing it or keeping it, is that it is your choice and only you will know when it is time to take that step. An article like this should not even have to be written, but there are so many people out there who are still putting labels on virgins. So since sex education is such a controversial topic, right here is a list of myths about virginity that should keep you out of the ignorant zone in conversations.
10. Virgins Are Boring
When did being a virgin become the way society evaluated your fun meter? God forbid a virgin have a sense of humor. Being sexually active or not should not be any kind of indicator of what one’s personality is; being funny, outgoing, or participating in certain activities has absolutely nothing to do with being a virgin. Virgins participate in all types of activities too; they could be playing basketball with you, sitting beside you in the movie theater, viewing the same painting as you at the museum.
9. Virgins Don’t Watch Adult Films
Uhhhhh, everyone watches adult films and whoever say’s they do not is probably lying and simultaneously dying of embarrassment inside. Being a virgin does not eliminate urges and curiosity, if anything, it makes you more curious and makes you want to explore more (to a certain limit, of course). Adult content is not the taboo entity that it once was; with the way our world is progressing, adult content is shamelessly at our finger tips and for the people that have no dignity at all, it is as close as their work computers.
8. Male Virgins
Male virgins are not as scarce as most people believe they are, and it seems like more and more males are willing to wait for the right girl to come along (or at least not taking lightly the decision to have sex). A study was done in 2009 that interviewed boys ages 14 to 21 about male virginity and how they felt after losing their virginity. Twenty eight percent of those boys admitted to being depressed after the act and a few said that the natural arousal of their body was mistaken for consent. Not all guys are in a rush to lose their virginity.
7. Virgins Are Waiting For Marriage
Nothing could be further from the truth; most virgins are not waiting for marriage, they are just waiting for a decent person who they believe is worth their virginity; again, WHO THEY BELIEVE, not because you think you are the perfect person for that job. Once someone has waited so long to lose their virginity, they are not going to give it up to just anyone. This does not mean marriage is in the cards, it just means that they may be slightly pickier about who they lay down with. Losing your virginity later in life really helps you evaluate people more, make sure that their motives are where they should be and who knows, maybe marriage is the end result for that relationship, but it is not what they are gunning for.
6. Virgins Can Have Orgasms
Yes! Of course virgins can have orgasms. Orgasms are not partner dependent. In fact, most partners have not had the luxury of giving their partners an orgasm. Virgins are more exploratory than most would assume, so chances are you will not be the first person to give them an orgasm if you give them one at all. Masturbation is the key to a good orgasm; it is actually beneficial to be with someone who has thoroughly explored their own body because when it comes time to have sex with them, they will quickly let you know what makes them tick and this will make for an easier and more pleasurable experience for the both of you.
5. Virgins Get Way Too Attached
Honestly, does anyone really believe that their love making skills are that impeccable? There are far less emotional breakdowns than you think. Being a virgin is not an automatic reason for someone to become obsessed, if anything it is easier for her or him to walk away because chances are they are not emotionally attached to you, they just thought you would be a great person to lose their virginity with. It is common knowledge that the longer you are with someone, the more they become attached to you so you should be more worried about a girlfriend or a boyfriend becoming obsessed with you as opposed to a virgin.
4. Virgins Are Super Religious
This is sad, not to mention an archaic way of thinking. Virginity is not always something that needs to be associated with Religion; who said that it is only acceptable to be a virgin if you are in your late teens or early twenties and a devoted church goer? In fact, being a virgin is a personal choice that people make due to experiences in their life, goals and of course how they view themselves. However, there is no denying that various religions preach abstinence and saving one’s self for marriage, but come on, in the world we live in not having multiple partners might be the smartest thing we can do.
3. Virgins Give Great BJs
This is utterly ridiculous; being a virgin does not automatically mean that their head game is on point. In fact, it does not mean because they abstain from sex that they must be giving oral favors. Unfortunately we live in a society where our culture is obsessed with sex and want to believe that everyone everywhere, is participating in some form of sexual activity. You can be a virgin and not be a master at giving oral favors, and that would be totally acceptable because even the most experienced of women can be horrible at going down on their partner.
2. No Hymen=Not A Real Virgin
This is one of the most popular myths in regards to virginity; there is so much emphasis on the hymen and for a girl to bleed during her first act of intercourse. The truth is none of these are necessary traits of being a virgin. The hymen is a very thin elastic membrane that sits usually just inside of the vagina, it is not something you need to break through or pop because it does not fully cover the vagina. Because this membrane is so thin, it can easily be stretched by any kind of sexual and non-sexual activities; if you happen to have a girlfriend who is a virgin but regularly uses toys or even her fingers, chances are she will not be in as much pain as you might assume, and an even greater chance that there will be no blood.
1. They Are Not Prudes
There is a sad assumption that follows the reputation of virgins; the general consensus is to presuppose they are prudes and do not know how to be sexy or do anything sex-related. This is just not the case. Virgins are people who sometimes lack in self esteem, want to save themselves for someone that is not a complete douche, or do not need to have sex to validate who they are as a human being. Being a virgin is a choice that people consciously make; it is not an afterthought, nor is it something they take lightly. Plus depending how long you have waited, you might as well wait it out for the right person. The older you become the wiser you get and the harder it is to give it up.