Relationships can be complicated and confusing, even if you’re really into the person you’re with. There’s also that weird period before you officially get into a committed relationship with someone, when you’re not quite sure what to do with your feelings. Should you bring up the fact that you want to date exclusively? Should you keep quiet and just go with the flow? Yeah, it gets pretty scary.
Fortunately (or sometimes unfortunately), there are ways to tell whether the person you’re falling for is feeling the same way about you. Just as women have ways of knowing whether or not a guy is dating them exclusively, guys should have a few methods for figuring out if they’re the only man in their woman’s life.
While the news that you’re not in the committed relationship you thought you were in may be disappointing, it can save you lots of trouble in the long run. After you find out you’re not the only guy in her life, you may not feel so guilty about going on a few dates of your own. Either way, it’s best to be honest with each other, but this isn’t always the case. So, here are some tell-tale signs to look out for. These are 10 signs that you’re probably not the only guy she’s seeing.
10. You Don’t Go On Many Dates
A number of guys make the mistake of thinking that once they go on a date with the girl, the girl isn’t seeing anyone else. This is usually a big mistake. Don’t be the guy whose ego is so big that he assumes a girl will be ready to marry him after one date. If you’re not spending a lot of time with her, and she’s not protesting about it, chances are she’s going on dates with other men. So, if you want to increase your chances of being the only one, try to schedule dates as often as you can.
9. You Don’t Exude Confidence
Being self-assured is one of the most effective ways to attract a woman. Of course, women don’t want you to be prideful and arrogant, but they should get the sense that you value yourself. When you allow a woman to walk all over you and you let her call all the shots, this may mean that she’s dating you for the convenience, and dating someone else in order to feel like a woman. Don’t be self-deprecating, and don’t be afraid to speak up about what you want. You can be assertive and respectful at the same time, and this will boost the chances that your love interest will want to see you exclusively.
8. She Needs Her Space
When a woman tells you she needs space, it usually means the same thing it means when you give a woman the “I need space” talk. She’s not that interested! She’ll probably call you when she’s in the mood for a free dinner, but she’s seeing other people and she doesn’t want to commit. In most cases, a woman who is all about you wants to spend as much free time with you as she can. She also wants you to make time in your schedule for her. If she’s cool with going weeks without spending time together, she’s very likely spending time with someone else.
7. She Acts Like She’s Your Friend—Sometimes
When a woman is kissing you one minute, then telling you things are going too fast the next, she’s probably dating other guys. She’s not sure who to commit to just yet, so she doesn’t want to get intimate with you while she’s still deciding who she wants to be with. A woman’s friendly actions can also mean that she really does want to be friends, but knows that you have romantic feelings for her. She’s using your romantic feelings to boost her self-esteem, even though she has no intention of being your girlfriend. If you notice that you have these strange encounters with the same woman several times, it’s time to either be friends or cut her out of your life completely.
6. She Doesn’t Introduce You As Her Boyfriend
Most women are proud to introduce you to their loved ones and friends as “my boyfriend.” If you’ve been to a few events with her and she simply introduces you by your name or by calling you her “friend,” take this as a clear sign that you’re probably not the only one. At the beginning of the dating process this may not be a big deal. However, as you continue to spend more time with one another, it may start to rub you the wrong way that you’re not considered her boyfriend. If this is the case, talk to her and see exactly where you stand in her life.
5. You Don’t Know Her Friends
While not being introduced as her boyfriend is definitely a red flag, it’s an even redder flag if you’ve been seeing her for a while and none of her friends know you. Again, women are usually eager to show off their boyfriends to their friends. If you’ve never met some of the most important people in her life, she’s probably not committed to you. Maybe she doesn’t know whether to call the interaction the two of you share a relationship. Or maybe she’s still playing the field. If weeks go by and you don’t become a part of her social circle, you have your answer.
4. She Tells You She’s Confused
When a woman is “confused,” she’s either getting out of a relationship and dating you casually, or she’s recently been through a breakup and isn’t ready to get into a committed relationship again. If she really likes or loves you, there’s no confusion. She’ll make it plain through her actions that she wants to take your relationship to the next level. You’ll see it in the way she looks at you, or in the effort she makes to spend time with you when she’s not working. Just make sure that you give the right answer when she asks you, “so, where is this relationship going?” After all, you do want a relationship, right?
3. She Talks About Her Past Relationships A Lot
When a woman is always telling you about the jerk she used to date, it’s often a sign that she wants to make sure you’re not going to be a jerk. It’s also an indication that she may be dating a few other guys to see who will be the least jerk-like. The closer you get to a woman, the more information about both of your past relationships is bound to be shared. But a woman who is constantly telling you about how hurt she’s been in the past is looking for reassurance that you won’t hurt her, and she may have trust issues, even after you’ve shown her that you’re a good guy.
2. Your Conversations Are One-Sided
When she always wants you to listen, but never has the time or energy to listen to you, this is a huge problem. Not only is it extremely selfish and immature, but it shows that you’re definitely not the only guy in her life. After all, why would she need to listen to your problems when she can just go out tomorrow night with a guy who makes her forget about her problems? If she’s not willing to listen to you, she’s not ready for a relationship and still wants everything to be all about her. Also, if she’s always getting you to side with her on an issue, even if she’s wrong, it’s a sign that she just wants to feel good for the moment and isn’t ready for a relationship.
1. You’re Not Making Progress
If you want to know whether or not you’re the only one, remember that part of the responsibility is on you. Women are looking for progression when they start dating a guy. Sure, the two of you hit it off on the first few dates. But are you introducing her to your friends? If you’ve been seeing her for more than six months, has she met your family? Do you take her to office parties and birthday gatherings? If you’re not doing this and you’re not getting any negative feedback from her, she’s probably assumed that you’re not serious and is dating other people. So, show her that you’re interested, and you’re much more likely to get the response you want.