Being told that you are bad in bed is like a horror story, not to mention embarrassing and eye opening. Sex is a topic that no one wants to look like an amateur at; in fact, the importance of it seems to increase daily as we are bombarded with hyper-sexual media. It comes off as a competition to most people, which may be why so many of us are so bad at it; we want to prove that we can have sex with as many people as possible instead of perfecting our technique with that one special person. The old saying of quality not quantity has never been so untrue unfortunately; society seems to let this concept go over its head. Taking the time to perfect your craft with one person is better than going around and sucking up the universe with your god awful sex techniques. Ultimately, you end up making yourself look like a fool and being left wondering why oh why it didn’t work out this time, last time or the time before that. There are always a few key signs that indicate that someone is flat out horrible at sex; over confidence, not enough confidence, lack of communication, unaware of what is going on around them and so on and so forth. Nobody wants to suck in bed. So, let this list be somewhat of a guide to you and keep you one step ahead of the inevitable scenario that is no good, horrible, very bad sex.
10. You Don’t Try Anything New
Fear has paralyzed you; you probably assume you suck in bed so you avoid trying anything new. You lack imagination and experience, so you end up looking like an amateur in this sex game; a lack of trying something new means you like to stick to your routine which can be rather boring, especially if you have been in a relationship for over a significant period of time. Your lack of imagination is a sign for those you are courting that you just may be as dull in bed as you are in person. So if you find that you have a lack of exciting thoughts and cannot live in your head for entertainment every once in a while; you may be just as boring between the sheets.
9. You Learn All Of Your Moves From Adult Entertainment
Copying what you see in an adult film is not okay; let’s just get that out there. P*rn is not real life and if you ask any adult star, they will tell you that about 90% of what they do is fake (up to, and including the climax). So if you think that p*rn is a good way to learn some new moves and impress whoever you are hoping to impress, think again. They generally do not go over well in real life and those “hot” moves that you believe are going to lead down the path of sexual ecstasy usually end up making you look like an utter fool and shine the brightest light possible to your total inexperience.
8. They Leave In The Middle Of The Night
While most people believe that leaving in the middle of the night is a common sleaze move (it generally is); it also means that the sex could be bad enough that the person does not want to have to deal with you (or the awkwardness) in the morning. Nothing is worse than waking to find whoever you fooled around with the night before has gone missing and did not even think to leave their number. The sex must be pretty bad for someone to put so much effort into sneaking out of a bed, and tip toeing out your door leaving it unlocked and making you vulnerable to predators.
7. They Have To Yell Instructions At You
“Okay, now touch there”, “hold my leg up higher”, “don’t do it like that, this way is better”. Do any of these sound familiar to you? If they do, it could be a sign that you suffer from bad in bed syndrome. Symptoms of this include never getting a callback, never satisfying your partner and worst of all, having to endure being told what to do during an act that is supposed to be fun spontaneous, intimate and everything in between. Nothing says you suck in bed like when someone else has to control the situation and make you feel inadequate at your most vulnerable time.
6. “Is That It?”
This is never a question any man or woman wants to hear from anyone’s mouth; especially after what you thought was the best sex ever. It is embarrassing, but it is also letting you know that hey, you basically are pretty crappy at what you do and how you are doing it. Take it as a lesson and improve whatever it is you need to improve as soon as possible. If you are constantly leaving your hook up buddy, significant other or your spouse with open ended questions or a lingering feeling of regret, then you just might be bad at sex.
5. Out Of Shape
We all know that sex is a physical activity. Some studies have even boasted that you can lose weight by having a very, very, very active sex life. Like with all good activity, it takes time and work, and dedication is always the key to success. That being said, if you are out of shape it does not only affect your gym life, but it also affects your personal life; your lack of stamina is never a good thing in bed, no one wants someone to constantly be asking for a break so they can catch their breath.
4. There Is No Orgasm
Yes, it is a known fact that some women have a harder time achieving an orgasm than men; but it is a real problem when you cannot give her even the tiniest pinch of anything. It is sad for her, but ultimately, it is just sad that you cannot help her out in that uncomfortable situation. This is a classic sign that you are confused beyond belief about how the female body works; if you orgasm before her, that’s fine, but use your imagination to get things going. If you find yourself dumbstruck about how to help out your significant other, you may not be ready for sex.
3. You Don’t Ask What They Like
When you intentionally do not ask what someone likes in bed, it is a clear sign that you have a few insecurities about how well you can successfully give them what they want. Insecurities are annoying and passive; they hinder you from doing fun things and experiencing fun moments (and we all know along with insecurities there is always the notion that we have to second guess ourselves). Not asking what they like may seem like a good idea but at the end of the day, if you sucked in the moment it ends up seeming like the worst decision ever.
2. She/He Is Dead Silent
This is embarrassing simply because silence is not as golden as people like to suggest it is; silence during sex means someone is confused about what they have gotten themselves into and furthermore, they are so bored and unaffected by the sex that all they can do is lay there till it is done. If there is no communication, then you are stuck in a rut; silence is embarrassing not to mention awkward and avoidable. Have you ever had silent sex? It is like watching a horror film and holding your breath while waiting for the killer to jump out of a dark corner only, you’re waiting for your partner to figure out what is going on.
1. You Don’t Value Foreplay
Foreplay makes every sexual experience better; that is why it is always so shocking when people claim they don’t do it. Maybe the lack of this and that is what is making you so bad at sex. Saying no to giving or receiving foreplay definitely makes people question your experience; the idea that you do not know how valuable foreplay can be is astounding and says a lot about your sex game. Think of it this way, if you are constantly saying you don’t do something that starts to translate to I don’t know how, and I am using this as a cop out. No one wants to have a painfully awkward moment like that in bed.