Millions of people around the world take on jobs because they need the money, they have no other choice, they lack ambition, or they want an easy mindless job that requires no real commitment and convenient work hours. This is great if you have no one to answer to, but to some people who actually have parents who expect them to do well, have paid for them to get an education and want to see the benefits reaped from all that money that they have spent, well, it is not so good. There are tons of professions that you can find yourself in especially as someone who has just finished school or is in desperate need of a part time job. Or sometimes you go to school for a great profession but the reality of having to explain what you do to other people can get a little awkward and make for some questionable conversation topics. A shady job consists of something that involves illegal activities, ridiculous tasks, and is embarrassing to explain; and full disclosure, no one wants to have to explain to their parents that they have a job that consists of any kind of illegal activity. No child anywhere wants to disappoint their parents, and having a shady job puts your parents in an unsettling position; while all of their friends are bragging about what their kids have accomplished, they have to sit quietly in the corner and make zero eye contact out of fear that someone will ask them that same question. Here is a list of shady jobs that may be hard to explain to mom and dad.
10. Pathological Lab Assistant
While this job pays well and is ultimately helping mankind become healthier, it is quite unsanitary and hard to explain to people. The pathological lab assistants also have to deal with a lot of bodily fluids (one of this is poop), other people’s poop, MANY people’s poop. They touch it, squish it, analyze it, rub it between their fingers (with gloves on, of course) and stare at it through a microscope. It is just an overall gross job to have to explain to someone while on a dinner date or better yet, explain to your parents that the thousands of dollars they paid in tuition was all so you can play with poo all day. Great!
9. Wedding Witness
This job is quite popular in Las Vegas, home of the impulsive wedding. A wedding witness is paid to basically sit in the chapel and co-sign verbally and sometimes physically (sign papers) to people’s weddings. A lot of the times when people get married impulsively like in Vegas or at a court house, they have no friends or family to be a witness to prove that their marriage took place and is legal. One can say that a wedding witness is a pretty important job, most likely not one that your parents are willing to brag about but you cannot complain when all you have to do sit on your butt and watch.
8. Seat Filler
Events like an awards show, a banquet, or a competition usually hires a number of people to fill seats and make the place look… livelier. Seat fillers gets some pretty cool gigs like attending those fancy awards shows, or if they are lucky enough, they get to be seat fillers on Dance Mom (Abby Lee Miller has been accused of hiring seat fillers for competitions). Telling your parents that you landed a sweet gig as a seat filler is not something you should jump at the chance to do, you will be bombarded with questions about your future and your life plan.
7. Professional Crier
Laugh all you want, but this is an actual job and they are usually hired for funerals that are lacking that oomph. People are hired on as professional criers at funeral, weddings and basically any event that needs that added touch. Your mom and dad may think you are crazy for taking on a job like this and they will lie when people ask them what their child is doing for a living, but money is money, right? A professional crier usually flies under the radar and can claim they are related to anyone in anyway because no one cares about fact checking when they are in that state.
Telemarketer is a fine job but ultimately the shadiness comes down to what you are selling. Not everyone is lucky enough to sell paper or vacations, unfortunately sometimes someone is trying to hawk certain prescription drugs, or wrap you into a questionable contract. Selling things over the phone seems pretty odd to begin with, so when you add in weird items like feminine products, prescription drugs and sometimes even adult toys, it can get pretty embarrassing to talk about it with your family over Sunday dinner, especially if you are still currently at this job. You quickly become the butt of all jokes told around the table.
5. Street Performer
A career as a professional busker can be kind of embarrassing. You performing on the side of the street, your parents being able to show up when they want, maybe start the money flow off by tossing you a dollar or two, so technically you are still living off of mommy and daddy. However this job is shady because it is your full time job and you seem to be okay with that; you dread the day your parents see you performing on the street and actually realize that this must have been that awesome job you were talking about for so long.
4. Sperm Donor
While this is not an official job, many people treat it like it is, and why not? They get money to go into a room, pleasure themselves and help a bunch of people have babies. Unfortunately, telling mommy and daddy that you do this as a side gig or in some cases as your only means of profit can be embarrassing and a little hard for them to understand, not to mention it is morally selfish. You can provide other people with babies and grandkids but your own poor parents will most likely never have grandkids of their own. In the words of Stephanie Tanner “how rude”.
3. Phone Operator
Nothing seems shadier than being THAT kind of phone operator; while this profession is quickly declining, it remains something that you would rather your parents have no clue that you do. How do you see a conversation about what you do to your parents going? They will not be thrilled and while they may get over it eventually, the mental image will forever be burned into their heads of their little girl using her ‘kindness’ to help people relieve stress. They may never be able to look you the same again, you might as well move out now if you have not already.
2. Adult Industry PA
Becoming a film production assistant is hard; you either never have enough experience, or you are not one of the lucky people who knows someone that knows someone. It is said that it is significantly easier to get into the production assistant position if you start off being a PA on a job no one wants, and one of those jobs is being a production assistant on an adult film set. Can you imagine the things you see that are forever stuck in your memory? The stuff you have to touch and the sounds; oh God, the horrible sounds.
1. Webcam Model
Some webcam models get off lucky, they do not have to do anything weird or even talk. However, some get roped into fetishes that only work if you wear the right costume, say certain things that should probably never cross ones lips, and all the while you are totally exposed. This is one job that you hope your parents never find out you do, well at least not until you have moved out, far away and are old enough so that they cannot scold you like a child. While you will be raking in the big bucks (sometimes), it just makes for an awkward conversation when you have to explain how you found the job.