“Why can’t we do that?”, “OMG you say ‘no’ to everything!”, “Why can’t we just try that again? You might like it this time!”How typical are all of these statements when you are in a relationship? Guys have a tendency to assume that their girlfriends, sex buddies or whatever title they have anointed her with, just automatically has to like the things that they like; especially when it comes to fun in the bedroom. Take a step back and consider why she is saying “no” to so many things, maybe listen to what she has to say and you will understand why she will not do what you are requesting. Sex should not be a game of push and pull (unless you are into that), it should be mutual pleasure and exciting. Where is the fun in one person enjoying something and the other person being completely bored and not into it at all? Stop wondering why she won’t do certain things in the bedroom, and start finding things she will do and that both of you can enjoy together. So yes, some girls have no “sexy” bone in their body and vice versa, but it is on you to find a girl who is willing and able to try things with you and maybe even enjoy things that your last partner found repulsive. So next time you hear, “no, I won’t do that” really stop and think about what that “no” means and where it is coming from; then think of a different way to make another intimate act exciting for her and you.
10. “It’s Not Intimate”
Human beings enjoy intimacy; it is natural and comforting. People normally associate intimacy with married couples trying to find their way back to the love they once had. Truth is intimacy is something that everyone wants to experience whether they are in a romantic relationship or a friendship. When your partner tells you that something is not intimate enough for her, please heed her call of attention. No she does not want to give you a spontaneous bj on a street corner because you watched an adult film hours before hanging out.
9. “It Is Inappropriate”
Let’s get candid, sometimes guys get fresh; they get way too comfortable and they ask for things that normally they would not dare to ask for. If you are ever wondering why your girlfriend is constantly shooting down a particular sexual act, it is because the request is totally inappropriate. You are better off asking her how she feels and why it makes her feel inappropriate; then you may understand why there are certain things that she will not do. You may even get a compromise out of her; but be honest, do you want to be with a girl who does not have enough of a backbone to tell she feels weird about something?
8. “If You Don’t Do It, I Won’t Do It”
Why should we do something that you would not do in return? What makes you so special that you expect something like a bj, but if we ask you to reciprocate, you’ll have every excuse in the book as to why you cannot return the favor? We are not idiots, women have wised up since the 1940’s; we now know that pleasure is not a one way street. This goes for even the simplest of tasks. Contrary to popular belief, we do not like sitting in a skate park watching you and your friends land on your butt 100 different ways. However, we will do that if you sit in the nail shop with us and keep us company while we inhale deadly fumes.
7. “It Is Boring”
The same old moves are boring and quite frankly, we are sick of laying back while you bust the same moves and assume you are doing an extraordinary job. You should not be shocked when we complain, or drop not-so-subtle hints, or just flat out say no to your advances. Sex is supposed to be fun and spontaneous and satisfying; so why have you not upped your game? If we state that we want to try something new, you should take that as a sign that maybe it’s time that we try something new. Ultimately, we can try something new or we will not be doing anything physical in the bedroom until we do.
6. “I Am Not An Adult Star”
Look, my body does not bend that way, I cannot do the splits; there is a possibility of me breaking my back if I do that. There is a huge difference between real sex and p**n sex, one would think that after all the years of research done on p**nography, that guys would realize that it is just not real sex and the orgasms are basically 100% fake. So knowing all that and still asking us to “do that thing that Jenna Jameson did” is selfish, not to mention unrealistic. Then you have the audacity to wonder why we end up not even wanting to have sex.
5. “It Is Painful”
When your girlfriend goes out of her way to try something that you have always wanted try, and when it is done she expresses that she did not enjoy it; that does not mean you constantly bring it up and harp on her about what you like. In fact, if you do not bring it up, when a special occasion comes up, she may even give you the opportunity to experience whatever it is again. No one wants to be in pain at any point in their life, so when she says that she is in pain just let it go.
4. “I Tried It Before (Surprise, I Didn’t Like It)”
Just as the subtitle says, if we have tried something and did not like it, then that is it. If you are wondering why she is constantly saying no to the same requests over and over again, this could possibly be one of the reasons why. This goes for anything sex related and activities outside of the bedroom (this includes hanging out with your family when she has already said she did not feel comfortable). Forcing your significant other to do something that she knows for a fact she did not like the first time, is a dicey situation. Just accept the no; it will be beneficial to you in the long run.
3. “She Is Not Into It”
Not being into something is a big indicator that it will most likely not happen again. Sometimes you do not even have to try something to know that it just is not your cup of tea; if you are doing something you think is romantic or sexy, or taking her to a fancy dinner when all she wants is you and a burger and some Netflix, it does not require trial and error to figure out. Be happy that she knows what she likes and what she does not like. It is better for you in a sense that she will always be clear and concise about what she is into and why.
2. “It Is Degrading”
If you think that the kinky things are turning her on even though it is a despicable act, think again. This is a no brainer, no girl wants to feel degraded and talked down to for any reason; even when she says she likes your rough demeanor and dominant behavior, there is a huge black line that you can so easily be crossed and ruin the fun for everyone. There is a time and place for everything and just because you get off on embarrassing her and degrading her, it does not mean that she enjoys it. Lack of communication is normally a good reason to break up with someone, so if she says that she is feeling degraded, listen to her.
1. “It Is Disgusting”
Listen, there are some really freaky, creepy guys out there that are into some disgusting things, so do not be one of those guys with your significant other (unless you met her on one of those “adult” dating sites). It is not hot to a girl when you ask her to do something inside or outside of the bedroom that involves anything unhygienic or disrespectful, putting her in a degrading situation can be embarrassing and make her not even want to be around you. If she is adamant about being turned off physically or emotionally about something, then move on; if you absolutely cannot live without it, break up with her.