Life is hard, and we can all agree with this statement. Now, have you ever tried being the single girl in a group of friends that are all in “serious” relationships? Let me save you the time you will waste thinking about that answer, it sucks. There are so many negative stereotypes around being a single girl above the age of 25 that it is borderline offensive. Being single should not be something that people feel sorry for you for, nor should it be something that makes people believe that something is wrong with you. Being single is not an epidemic, single women are not a thing that needs to be saved or fixed, as they are owning their independence. Finding the right partner is hard enough; being hassled for not having a partner makes it even more awkward. Society feels like it is their business to chime in on people’s lives; it never matters how close you are with the person, single women do not want to be bombarded with borderline offensive questions and comments that make them want to pluck their own eyes out.
Let this article be a warning to those who read it; please refrain from harassing your single girlfriends about their singlehood. Whether they want to be single or not, they sure do not want to have to talk about it with anyone. Here is a list of questions that you NEED to think twice about asking a single girl, unless you are wearing the right shoes to run for your life.
10. “So Are You Seeing Anyone?”
I was single yesterday when you asked that question, and the day before that and the week before that. When did you foresee that changing in the short time span that you have asked me that question? It is annoying when you ask anyone the same question over and over again, even if you have only asked it once, a question like that can be intrusive and if the person you are asking is feeling insecure about being single it can ruin their entire day. If you are a close friend, you will understand that she may not be up for the conversation but if you are a distant relative who thinks all young ladies should be married, keep it to yourself.
9. “When Was The Last Time You Went On A Date?”
The first mistake that is made here is assuming that just because someone is single they do not date regularly. Like men, some women are taking their time to play the field; date as many people as they can, just trying to keep things casual until that one person really sparks their interest. We all are very aware that one date does not equal relationship status, so yes, single women date (granted some more than others) and chances are the reason they were not a third wheel on your date the week prior is because they were on a date of their own.
8. “Do You Want Me To Set You Up With Someone?”
Ummmm… possibly but not necessarily. Being single can sometimes land women in a dry spell, no dates or boring dates and yes, sometimes you need your friends to be your wing-woman and sometimes you just need them to ZIP IT. There are times when you are having a bad day and you do not need the “sympathy” of your friends asking you condescending questions like, “do you need me to help you?” No, they just need them to acknowledge that you are meeting a bunch of crappy guys and vent with you about how much better you can do, no matter how untrue that statement is.
7. “Aren’t You Worried That You’re Not Going To Meet Someone In Enough Time?”
Enough time? What is considered enough time exactly? Enough time for what? Yes, we all have biological clocks but keep in mind we all also have different goals. Things rank differently for one another; having a spouse may not be the same goal as your best friend who is single. So, worried about time passing by? No. Especially if you are in your 20’s and just really starting your life out. In fact, being independent during that time usually helps you in the long run to make better decisions and gain a confidence that you did not know was in you.
6. “What’s Your Type?”
This question is condescending; it is like they are questioning what kind of guy you like in hopes that you just have not met your type yet and that must be the key to your supposedly lonely, single life. Do you really care what her type is? Chances are you will just set her up with someone that you get along with very well only to be shocked that she does not get along with him as well as you do. This question also assumes that you think that she cannot find her type herself, sometimes people just want to be single.
5. “Why Are You Putting Your Career Before Your Happiness?”
“Has it ever occurred to you that advancing in my career is actually what is making me happy right now?” Not everyone associates happiness with a stable relationship. In fact, many people believe that “money can’t buy happiness” when in actuality money does make some people happy. Society sometimes assumes that a woman needs to let the man worry about the money, but really everyone should go into a relationship knowing that if need be they can hold their own just in case it ends up in divorce. More and more women are realizing that nothing is guaranteed and it is important for them to know that if they had to walk away, they can do it with confidence and stability.
4. “Don’t You Want Babies?”
Some women want babies without the added attachment of having a man. Just because someone is single now, does not mean they will be single forever. Medicine has advanced far beyond what anyone could have ever expected (women in their 60’s are having babies now). Having a baby should never be a reason why someone is in a relationship and being single at the moment does not mean that you will never have a baby. Even if you are older and “pass your birthing prime”, there are several options out there for you. This should be a question that you keep in the back of your mind.
3. “Don’t You Miss Intimacy?”
“Who say’s single girls are not having sex?” We all know that you do not have to be in a relationship to engage in intercourse. Yes, it is safer that way and more satisfying to some, but there are one night stands (if you are into that); there is also this new invention called a friend with benefits who you can call and hook up with and leave it at that. Sex can be intimate outside of the guidelines that are provided by being in a relationship; while you are so concerned with how miserable your single girlfriend’s sex life is, you are missing out on all the intimacy you could be having with your boyfriend. Carry on now.
2. “Are You Lonely?”
Yes, being single can be lonely. Loneliness is part of being single, but loneliness is also part of everyone’s life whether they are single or not. So yes, single girls get lonely but like everyone else they do not need to be reminded of it, nor do they want to talk about the head space they are in when they do feel lonely. On the other hand, some people prefer to be alone and are really not fazed by living alone and eating alone. Being lonely is an emotion that can overcome anyone, single or not, so a question like that may come off as you being unnecessarily worried and turn into a bigger thing.
1. How Come No One Is Interested In You?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, these are fighting words. First, how offensive is it that you assume no one is interested and second, even if you did assume that ah… why would you bruise her ego by bringing it up to her? Let’s get things straight here, a lot of guys are interested but maybe she is the one who is not interested in them. Either way, this question is one that you should try to steer clear of, as it can really hurt her feelings and to be honest it is not a normal question to ask, it comes off kind of mean girl-ish.