Did you know the most common sex dreams actually aren’t about sex at all? When you dream about a sexual encounter, your brain is trying to point you toward some other complicated feelings you’re having. Usually, those feelings aren’t physical in nature. If you’re having sex dreams, particularly one that’s repeating, you really need to figure out what those feelings are.
It’s hard to know what sex dreams really mean, because people aren’t comfortable admitting to these types of dreams when they occur. If you dream about being with an inappropriate partner, you’re not going to get on Twitter and tell the world. You can’t tell your friend that you dreamed about being with their spouse, or admit to your boss that you were dreaming of the two of you. The truth is, most sex dream partners are inappropriate. And don’t worry, the dream isn’t trying to tell you that you’re supposed to hook up with this person. In some sex dreams, the opposite is actually true.
So don’t freak out after a sex dream. Take a deep breath, and start looking for the real meaning behind it. Most of the common sex dreams are filled with hidden meanings, and you should know what they are.
10. Being Unfaithful
Lots of people dream about being unfaithful to their partner. It doesn’t actually mean that you’re thinking about having an affair, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t being satisfied sexually. When you’re cheating in a dream, it often represents some other deception or dishonesty that you haven’t revealed to your mate. It can also mean you’re feeling a need to do more sexual exploring. The other person in the dream represents different sexual acts you’d like to try, but not necessarily with a new partner.
When your partner is cheating on you in a dream, you’re probably feeling insecure. You may not be getting enough time and attention from your lover. This dream can indicate that you’re feeling a fear of abandonment. It’s not a cosmic message, and it doesn’t mean that your partner has actually been unfaithful to you.
9. Sexual Assault
It is incredibly unsettling to dream about being sexually assaulted. If it’s never happened to you in real life, this dream is probably not the flashback of a repressed memory. It’s also not a premonition warning you of the future.
Usually, sexual assault in dreams represents a loss of power in your life. You may feel that something or someone is holding you back, keeping you from expressing yourself. Perhaps you aren’t being heard or you don’t feel free to share your opinions. Examine the areas of your life where you’re feeling powerless, and you may find the source of this very frightening sex dream. Once you find a way to take your power back, the dream will stop.
8. Out of the Friend Zone
Having erotic dreams about a friend, whether they’re the same sex or the opposite, is pretty common. This is not your subconscious mind’s way of telling you that you are actually in love with your friend, so don’t start acting weird towards them. Usually, this dream isn’t about any sort of physical attraction between you and your friend. This dream often represents that you admire or envy something your friend has. Maybe they have a skill or characteristic that you wish you, yourself, had.
You may dream about having sex with your friend’s partner. You don’t have to confess to your friend and you don’t have have to beat yourself up because of a dream you couldn’t control. This dream pretty much means the same thing as having sex with your friend. Probably, you see some quality in this person that you’d like yourself or your own mate to have. You’re not harboring a secret love for your friend’s lover, you’re just recognizing a quality that you want to have in your own life.
7. Sex With a Co-Worker
Dreaming about getting busy on the desk after hours with that associate who always gets coffee at the same time as you? This doesn’t mean it’s time to start an affair. Usually, this dream is all about what you need from that person. What you need is not sex. This need can actually be positive or negative. Maybe this co-worker has some skill you wish you could learn, like making the boss laugh. Maybe this person does something you hate — like hum when they read.
Figure out what’s nagging you about this person, resolve it, and the dream is going to stop. Sometimes, the dream simply means that you need to have a conversation with this person and air out your feelings.
No one’s going to blame you if you totally freak out after having a sexual encounter with your sibling or your parent in a dream. It doesn’t mean you’re deviant and have to skip Thanksgiving for the next 5 years. It’s actually way common to have an incestuous sex dream, even if you can’t get any of your friends to admit to it.
You’re probably not having a bunch of confused sexual feelings, so don’t run right out and book a therapy appointment. The incest sex dream usually means that you’re seeing some quality in your family member that you also have. You feel a closeness to that person, a similarity, and in your twisted mind this becomes sexual. No, that’s a joke. It really is perfectly normal to have this dream. Having sex with a parent, for example, may happen in your dreams when you’re becoming a parent in your real life.
Sex with a family member can also suggest that wounds need to be healed between you and this person. The sex represents a desire to get closer emotionally, not physically.
Don’t freak out if you have a same-sex dream where you’re with a sexual partner who is the same gender as yourself. This does not mean that you are, in fact, a homosexual or that you’ve got some deep-seeded need to start experimenting. Lots of straight people have same-sex dreams, because they have nothing to do with your sexuality or any questions you might be having about your sexuality.
Often, the same-sex dream actually symbolizes a need for self-love. If you’ve been highly critical of yourself lately or you’re feeling insecure, these types of dreams can come up. You need to stop being so hard on yourself, focus on some positive qualities that you have and rediscover a love for yourself again.
4. Sex With a Celeb
Which Hollywood star is guest-starring in your sex dreams lately? While chances are high that you are sexually attracted to this gorgeous celeb, the dream is not about them. It’s about you. When you have sex with a celebrity in your dreams, this represents a craving that you’re having — no, not for more movie time. You’re probably not getting enough attention from loved ones, or you want to have more of a social life in general. You may really be desiring money, success and adoration, not celebrity sex.
The celebrity represents what you’re not getting or don’t have, and usually doesn’t have anything to do with your sexual desires. The desirable, sexy celeb really represents some other desire you’re having in your personal life.
3. Stranger Sex
Having sex with a faceless, shadowy or masked person is one of the most powerful sex dreams, and some analysts believe it can be fraught with meaning. Commonly, this dream is more about you than it is about sex. If this faceless partner is kind and loving toward you, this can be a good indication that you’re growing as a person and you are becoming more accepting of yourself.
Sometimes, this dream means the opposite. You may be having sex with the stranger in your dream because you need to discover something within yourself. The hidden face is really some hidden part of yourself. It’s time to embrace who you are and let that person out.
2. Sex With the Boss
Getting it on with the boss is one of the most common of all sex dreams. Your boss may be your most frequent dream sex partner, in fact. It doesn’t mean what you probably think it means. Even if you are truly physically attracted to your boss, that’s not what this dream is all about. You’re seeing yourself as an equal to the boss in this dream. That’s because you can see the leadership qualities in yourself.
This dream is actually a good sign. It means you feel that you’re doing a good job at work. You’re meeting challenges, and you may even be ready for more responsibility. You feel like you work well with your boss. In the dream state, this translates into sexual chemistry even if desire isn’t present when you’re awake.
1. Ex Sex
Dreaming about a sexual romp with an ex? You may feel guilty about this, or you may grab the phone and start texting. Don’t do either. Often, the ex sex dream is more about your new relationship than your old one. You may be experiencing feelings that are similar to what you had with your ex, or you may be fearful of where a new relationship is going. Your ex appears in your sex dream as a representation of the past, and doesn’t necessarily mean you’re specifically thinking about that person.
If you are thinking about your ex, the dream could be a representation of your unresolved feelings. Either way, this dream indicates that you need to find a way to resolve your feelings about the past so that you can move on.