Dealing with a break-up can be the hardest thing especially when that person has been the center of your world. This might sound like an exaggeration to most, but think about it. This person could have been your spouse, a long-term partner, someone you lived with, a parent to your child or someone you were starting to get serious about. Maybe because of this relationship, you haven’t stayed in consistent communication with many friends and family or you’ve alienated them completely and now you’re left with only yourself. It might even seem like ages ago the last time you were single. Whatever the scenario, there’s going to be a lot of adjusting to get used to.
It’s always right after a relationship has ended that is the toughest. This can be the most emotionally exhausting and draining time. It might even come to the point of depression, especially if you are constantly rehashing what went wrong and reminiscing all the good times you had together. The road to recovery may seem like a long journey and it can be pretty scary to think whether you are ever going to find someone else. However, staying in bed and moping at home will not only NOT bring your ex back, it’ll only make you miss them more and the longer it will get you down. Time does heal though, even if it may take longer for some, but there are better ways to make it easier for you to get over an ex.
Moving away may seem extreme, but sometimes it can be one of the best decisions you can make (depending on your finances, of course). In certain situations it’s imperative, such as getting away from an abusive ex. Although moving to a new house is another option, but a less complicated type of move in comparison to a relocation, it may still be easier for someone to keep in contact with their ex through people they know. Hence, still not being able to get over them. So if relocating to a new town or city seems like running away, it shouldn’t be taken out of context as simply giving up. It can also mean starting an exciting new life with a new career and new friends and maybe even down the road a new love interest. Relocation should be thought of as a brave decision because not everyone has the courage to do this on their own.
12. Go On Dating Sites
Before you xnay this idea and think it’s completely absurd, think about it for a second. What faster way to move on then to have a rebound? When speaking about a rebound in these terms, it doesn’t have to mean having a fling or sleeping around or even finding a lifelong partner, a rebound can just mean someone that may be able to fill the void of the loneliness someone is feeling from a heartbreak. Dating sites can help with getting back self-esteem that was lost, giving someone hope that love can be found again and can even be good practice in teaching someone how to date again whose been out of the loop for a while. Then when someone of real potential comes along, it can help someone learn from their past relationship mistakes.
11. Read Breakup Material
Sometimes when someone is going through something like this, it helps to know that other people are either going through the same thing or have in the past. This can be done by reading books or articles on the subject of breakups, but the best way is reading autobiographies of celebrities like Shania Twain, who openly talked about the deterioration and end of her marriage because of infidelity. Shania even had a sit down interview on Oprah and discussed the struggle she was going through during this time, but eventually remarried again to Frédéric Thiébaud. Just recently, Gwen Stefani spoke publicly about the demise of her marriage to Gavin Rossdale and since has found love again. She is dating Blake Shelton, who was also recently divorced this year. Seeing someone else (especially a celebrity) triumphant past this and come out stronger, should all give us hope.
10. Seek Counselling
Many people may not see this as a need, but if you do end up battling depression, this is the best solution for this type of scenario. What a better way to have someone listen to your problems who doesn’t know you on a personal level and therefore, not be biased. Professionally and medically, they are also able to give you sound advice, write a doctor’s note if you need to miss work and/ or need to go on a short-term leave, prescribe medication to help you sleep and talk to you about coping mechanisms. A therapist or group counselling sessions are also good when someone doesn’t have anyone else to talk to and/ or feel friends and family may be tired about hearing about the ex.
9. Work, Work, Work
Work may be the last thing on anyone’s mind when it comes to getting over an ex, but only thinking about work may distract someone from their own problems. Also, by showing your personal life doesn’t interfere with a job will only show a committed work ethic. However, in retrospect, it doesn’t mean if someone needs to miss work because of a break-up that they’re a weak person, only that this new situation has made them less strong. One example to become more preoccupied at your job can include asking for extra projects (as long as it doesn’t become overwhelming) that may make you stay later at work, have you work weekends or have you take work home.
8. Avoid Who Your Ex Associates With
If you have mutual friends in common with your ex, it’s better to avoid them if possible. Although, if you do decide to meet up with them and they are even considerate of what you are going through, your ex’s friends may still unconsciously say something about them in general conversation. As well, it can be tempting for you to ask them how your ex is doing or what is happening in their current life. It’s almost a human thing to want your ex to be just as unhappy and miserable as you are without them. Also, hanging out with people your ex knows might rekindle the feelings of how you felt when you were all together and happy. This doesn’t have to be forever, just until you’ve come to a point that you are fine with the break-up.
7. Listen To Empowering Music
Listening to music that has strong lyrics and a great tune to back it up is good for the soul. Just imagine the songs that you played in your car that put you in a good mood and rocked out to. Music has a way of doing this and coupled with lyrics you can relate to have a way of transcending you to another place and time. Why do you think ‘Survive’ by Gloria Gaynor has became so popular at Karaoke Clubs. Though that may have been the trailblazer for many of the female empowering songs of today, there’s a few that can fit into this category for men such as ,Eye Of The Tiger, by Survivor and ‘Return Of The Mack, by Mack Morrison.
6. Watch Relate-able Movies
Watching movies is a favorite pastime of a lot of people, but many do not always think of this when trying to get over an ex. However, watching a movie that relates to a current situation in someone’s life may garnish hope or encouragement depending on the movie’s plot. Picking the right movie is what it’s all about. Someone is not going to be happy watching a lovey-dovey romance when this is happening to them, but maybe one that where the couple breaks up and never gets back together like The Breakup with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, might suffice. You can also choose to watch the comedy Bridesmaids with Kristin Wiig and Maya Rudolph in which the life of someone seems to be at a low point throughout the whole movie. A movie choice just to get their mind off a relationship with an ex for guys could very well be an action one with high speed chases and lots of guns blazing like the Fast & Furious or Terminator.
5. Go On A Trip
Needing to getaway is common when trying to get over someone. It’s that feeling of escaping the normal pace of life to any destination other than the one you are presently in and can be someone’s saving grace even if you are not in the mood. It’s worth a try though, when all you can feel is the heat of the sun’s rays, swimming in the cool water and people catering to your every need instead of the other way around. You can even try going on a road trip just outside the city for one day. Although this all may be temporary, it may help you clear your mind and make you see a different perspective of the relationship.
4. Surround Yourself With Supportive People
This is a given. Women are really good at this. They will normally be the first to reach out to their girlfriends. Men might take a while, but eventually they go and hang out with their buddies. Mostly, it will be friends and family who will be the people that will help you get through the rough times and give you advice whether you want it or not. Either way they will be the ones who you can vent to and do stuff with. You can also join sports leagues or social groups where people gather together that have the same interests. Whatever it is, keep busy and it will be easier to forget your ex, even if it’s only for a short duration.
3. Discard Memorabilia
The worst things to have sitting around are any physical traces of an ex which includes gifts, pictures, videos, cards, letters, jewelry, clothing etc. Reminders of an ex only makes things more difficult for anyone to get over their ex. There’s nothing you can do with memories or thoughts, so this is the better alternative. If you need to, discard this stuff right away, but if you can’t seem to throw things out because it’s still too fresh, try storing them away as they say “Out of sight, out of mind”. Looking through these things keeps you from thinking about the happier times and making you feel pensive.
2. Unfollow All Social Media Accounts Of Theirs
In this day and age, technology and the Internet has made it harder to get over a break-up. When you were in a relationship, you were probably on social media accounts like Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, and followed each other on it. On Facebook, you might have even put “In A Relationship” and tagged your ex. Although, you might not want to go completely MIA, it’s probably best to un-follow your ex on all of these sites. This way you won’t see pictures of them having fun surrounded by people you don’t know or the new fantastic job they got or read their subliminal postings or updates referring to their new found single life.
1. Block Their Number
This will be the most trying and harshest time. In reality though, you can get through this successfully. On your cell phone, you probably have a photo of your ex flash on the screen when they call you, or a certain ringtone goes off to notify you that it’s your ex even though you’re in another room. And every time they text or call you, it’s like you’re hoping it’s them. That’s why blocking their number is probably the best thing to do. Of course this may be difficult if you are separated or have kids, but even though, just delete their number. This way whenever you look at your phone, you won’t see their name and remind you of anything about them. And really it will take so much longer to move on with your life if you are still friends with your ex and in contact with them!