Public service is a virtue long suited only for those who want the job. In most places, government workers and leaders don’t make a lot of money. The government must show the people that they’re being responsible with their tax dollars. The people must believe that their government isn’t getting rich off their backs. It’s basically a foundation of American politics.
Of course, in other countries, they don’t give a rip. For the men on this list, they have become experts in not only having financial power, but political power as well. It’s not like in America where how much the President makes is determined by the people. In other countries, these leaders have so much money that their combined wealth makes Bill Gates look like a welfare recipient.
Wouldn’t it be funny if these guys were on Shark Tank? When some entrepreneur says that they made $1 million in sales last year, NBC would have to stop production because all of them would die of laughter. Once they composed themselves at the idea of making $1 million, they would probably go to the restroom to dry their eyes with $20 bills.
Well, as the old saying goes: it’s good to be king.
10. Albert II, Prince of Monaco – $1 Billion
Monaco is the sorta-French country out in Europe, famous for its casinos and high-class living. One of their events, the Monaco Grand Prix, is one of the most highly respected auto racing tournaments in the history of the world and Albert II is in charge of it all. If only he could keep his junk in his pants. That must be the American in him.
It’s no joke. The world expects its world leaders to be cautious, but Albert joined the “whatever!” club years ago. He not only is confirmed to have fathered one child with an African flight attendant, but has another one that grew up just outside of L.A. Albert takes the term “balling” to a whole new level.
9. Mohammed VI, King of Morocco – $2.5 Billion
One of the oldest e-mail scams comes from people pretending to be a wealthy African monarch. Usually, the scam is from a “Prince” in some African country and he is lurking on unsuspecting goofballs to steal their money. The scam is usually pretty simple, too. It involves somehow getting the receiver to send in their bank account information so the “Prince” can park his money in it. Like clockwork, these spammers sucker people into giving up that sensitive information and steal all their money.
Now, there’s only one exception; King Mohammed of Morocco. He’s worth $2.5 billion. What to do if he emails and asks for a bank account number? Give it to him!
8. Hans Adam II, Prince of Liechtenstein – $3.5 Billion
Ladies! Who is that handsome guy who lets tax evaders from all over the world put their money at his bank? That’s right, it’s Hans Adam II. Hans admits that his fortune hasn’t come from actually making anything other than lax banking regulations. But don’t worry, their shady ways of doing business have allowed people to skip out on their financial responsibilities for years. He’s so creative!
Hans says he likes long walks on the beach, dinner by candlelight, and figuring out how the capital gains tax in the United States can be circumvented with his country’s banking rules. Hans admits that he has trouble actually trying to run a country while scamming others at the same time. But alas, he will always make time to find ways to screw over everyone that isn’t him. What a charmer.
7. Kim Jong-un, Leader of North Korea – $5 Billion
For the uninformed, Kim Jong-un is a Korean dictator and laughingstock of the international community. Remember, Jong-un is in charge of North Korea, not South Korea. South Korea is like North Korea’s more successful sibling. South Korea gave the world Samsung and allowed children everywhere to play Angry Birds on their phones. College students across the U.S. can thank South Korea for their first car, a Hyundai. Most significantly, South Korea gave the world Gangnam Style, which has nearly 2.5 billion views on YouTube, and has made weddings way more fun.
North Korea is a different story. Their country is virtually bankrupt. People are poor. Electricity is spotty. Plus, most people don’t even have running water. Their “very grateful” citizens can thank their uber-rich leader, Kim Jong-un, whose net worth exceeds $5 billion for having nearly all of the country’s wealth. It begs the question though: if he has that much money, what’s up with that haircut?
6. Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum, Emir Sheikh of Dubai – $18 Billion
So, for most Americans, issues in the Middle East are sometimes indistinguishable. Most of what Americans see on the news centers around what seems like never-ending conflict, a battle over oil, and religious fights. Of course, relying strictly on the news media is like relying on this list for fashion tips. Hint: it’s a bad idea. A deeper look into the Middle East reveals a region with a rich, complex, and peaceful history. For Sheikh Mohammed, he is a part of the progressive leadership that relies on a practical, diversified economic portfolio for the region, based mostly in oil. It’s helped him amass a fortune of nearly $18 billion.
The most interesting part? He writes poetry. Not only does he write poetry, but he also publishes it for the world to see on his website. Images of some billionaire Sheikh writing poetry is not one that Fox News portrays of the Middle East. Usually, the media publishes photos of scud missiles getting loaded onto a plane, not of flowery poetry. But imagine if American leaders did the same thing. How many times would Ted Cruz be eviscerated if he decided to write poetry? Picture Obama, after going to Camp David, talking about how beautiful the wildlife was? Congress would probably choke on their own rage over the President doing something so wimpy. For Sheikh Mohammed, he’s brave enough not to care.
5. José Eduardo dos Santos, President of Angola – $20 billion
Jose Eduardo dos Santos’ story sounds just like the plot to a Call of Duty game. Joining a liberation army as a young man, dos Santos fought side-by-side with other Angolan natives to take down the Portuguese. See, the Portuguese had control over Angola for generations, and like most countries ruled by Europe, Angola hated it. Santos quickly rose through the ranks and when he and his boys were victorious, he held his Xbox controller high over his head. That last part can’t be confirmed. He looks more like a Playstation guy, anyway.
Seeing his George Washington-esque potential, he moved to be the President of Angola, amassing a fortune of $20 billion in the process. Reports are that his fortune comes mostly from oil and a general sense that he’s just better than everyone else. Chances are, both accounts are true.
4. Hassanal Bolkiah, the Sultan of Brunei – $20 Billion
Here are some numbers to help realize the kind of wealth the Sultan of Brunei, Hassanal Bolkiah, has. To do this, it’s important to start with his cars. This guy has 7,000 high-end vehicles, most of them Rolls Royces, Mercedes, and Ferraris. This means that he could drive a different car every week of the year… for 134 years. It would take him 19 years if he drove a new car every day. He’s balling so hard, Floyd Mayweather should change his nickname from “Money” to Floyd “Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah of Brunei” Mayweather. Rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it?
Wouldn’t it be funny if his family helped him with his bad habit like on that show Hoarders? It’d be hilarious if he tried to give away the cars at a yard sale or had 1-800-Got-Junk tow away some $500,000 car like it were an old television. Chances are he’d just have everyone killed for embarrassing him so he can just keep the cars.
3. Khalifa bin Zayed al-Nahyan, President of the United Arab Emirates – $23Billion
As President of the United Arab Emirates – the place where science fiction fantasies of wealth come to life – al-Nahyan is not far behind the top wealthiest people on the list. Like so many other Middle Eastern rulers, his wealth comes from oil, but with a twist – al-Nahyan also helps manage nearly $600 billion in global investments, probably all centered around building a crystal statute of himself. With a net worth of $23 billion, he has mo’ money, but likely few problems.
2. Bhumibol Adulyadej, King of Thailand – $30 Billion
This guy is so rich, scientists are puzzled how a human being actually manages to poop money. This guy is so rich, every time Adulyadej sneezes, stock markets start to fluctuate all over the world. This guy is so rich, that “Bhumibol Adulyadej” literally translates into English as “Dolla Dolla Bill Y’all.” This guy is so rich, that he’s richer than all of those oil-rich sultans across the Middle East and earned a spot near the top of this list. As the King of Thailand, the Swiss educated man is the longest-reigning monarch in its history. He can attribute much of his wealth to family money and primo real estate throughout most of his country. Forget the 1% – this guy is the .00001%.
1. Vladimir Putin, President of Russia – $70 Billion
Joseph McCarthy is probably rolling over in his grave thinking, “I told you so!” Now, whether all of the people McCarthy accused of being Communist were actually Commies is a whole different story. However, his fears of Russian supremacy just may be coming true if Putin’s wealth is any indication. Putin has a reported $70 billion net worth coming from oil, natural gas, and his winnings from the world’s creepiest leader competition. Some even speculate that he has a personal fortune of $200 billion. Those reports are disputed though, because, well, Russia isn’t exactly known for its honesty.
Putin’s official salary as President? $175,000. There’s nothing fishy going on at all.