Is it too late now to say sorry… for the existence of Justin Bieber? Yes, yes it is. J-Biebs, now 21, came onto the scene back in 2010. The little tike was discovered on YouTube by renowned manager Scooter Braun (thanks for nothing Scoot) and it didn’t take long for the infamous Usher to sign the Canadian native to Island Def Jam Records. Almost instantaneously he was thrust upon us, in our faces night and day, this cute little gir l– I mean boy, with a voice like an angel (at least before he hit puberty).
And so it began: a generation of Beliebers (and non-Beliebers) were born. The teeny bopper quickly became known for his swankified bowl cut and dainty vocals, singing about things a normal kid shouldn’t know anything about at that age. Somehow, someway, it seemed the whole world had completely lost its fricken mind and had come down with a case of Bieber fever, a heinous disease many of us refused to succumb to. Haters came out of the woodwork left and right voicing their opinion on the glorified superstar and objected at his unfounded rise to fame.
Fast forward to the year 2016, and guess what… we still hate him. His smug face, his oversized wife beaters and yes, his music. Even though, many of those songs are extremely catchy — damn you J-Biebs, damn you! Whether you like his music or not, one thing’s for sure, the Biebs has done some of the douchiest, most disgusting and downright offensive things throughout his career. Sure there are people that will say he’s gotten a bad rap, that someone so young couldn’t handle the instant fame and fortune… well, to all of you, maybe he should have surrounded himself with better people who wouldn’t have influenced him in a negative way. That’s a concept any Joe Shmo should have been raised to believe. Overall, time has not been kind to Justin and here are the reasons why we still hate this musical skid mark.
15. Illegal Monkey Smuggling
In 2014, the Biebs famously smuggled a monkey into Munich, Germany while on tour and then he abandoned him so he didn’t have to take responsibility for his fleeting actions. Wow, I’d hate to be an illegal monkey or otherwise traveling with Justin, no love for you! If it wasn’t bad enough that this guy animal-napped this poor little creature, the monkey was left alone and frightened. The singer couldn’t produce proof or vaccination records at Munich customs so it lead authorities to believe he was purchased illegally. Bieber swore that he would return for his monkey with proper paperwork and surprise surprise never did. Solid pet owner, right there.
14. Genitalia Pics
Bieber is known for his arrogance, and he’s been saying that his manhood is a decent size. Well, now that we have evidence to back that up, it doesn’t change the fact that he’s a sucky human being. Sorry, but those compromising pictures of your above average nether-regions doesn’t erase your faulty personality. Sure, it makes it worse that he’s well-endowed, it seems God just keeps letting crappy people make good records, but his holiday in Bora Bora really made people hate him even more. Rich, famous and a big genitalia? GTFO Bieber.
13. He Dated (And Treated Badly) Selena Gomez
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have one of those on again, off again, on again, off again, on again, no really they’re off again, relationships. And even though he jumped into things at a young age, he didn’t go about being a good boyfriend the right way either. The emotional and childish BS Selena probably had to endure makes this guy fall further down on my list. I love Selena Gomez and when I found out she was dating the Biebs my soul died a little. Hopefully years later, they’re done with each other and Justin can learn to be a decent partner to his next lady lover.
12. He’s Friends With The Kardashians
Ugh. Please, can this family just get out of our faces? If it wasn’t bad enough that we have Justin Bieber and the Kardashian family in the same era but do we really need to have them hanging out with each other and being BFFs? There’s only so much evil we can face in on generation.
11. Disrespectful To Hardworking People
While on out on the town in NYC, Justin and his entourage were sneaking out of the back of a restaurant (gotta dodge those paps) and this kid thought it was a great idea to pee in a bucket. Legitimately dropped his pants and pissed in a nearby pale in what it looks like the restaurant’s kitchen area. You mean to tell me he couldn’t wait 5 seconds to find a bathroom and do his business like a normal human being? The Biebs continued to talk to the camera about how it was the coolest place to pee and that people would remember it. Oh yes, we remember it alright.
10. Movies That Tanked
Justin Bieber’s Believe, and Never Say Never are probably two of the most useless movies that you will ever see (please God don’t see them) in your life. It’s like you’re stuck watching these documentaries about a life you don’t really care about. You know, someone is telling you why you should care and that they’ve accomplished so much in such a short time and overcame obstacles in their life but realistically those obstacles were of their own doing. It’s a selfish look into the wonderful world of J-Biebs, proving he indeed doesn’t think of anyone but himself.
9. Compares Himself To The Beatles
Oh you’re going to insinuate that you are as talented as those that came before you, who do you think you are? No, ‘Sorry’ is not like ‘Let it Be;’ I don’t think it’ll ever come close to a hit like that. It would be wonderful if this kid would stop acting like he’s this grand gift to humanity. Hey Mr. Bieber, how about you make music that ya know, doesn’t suck and leave the trendsetting to someone else.
8. Terrible Fan Interactions
Spitting on supporters from a balcony, canceling shows with no explanation, being public about the fact that he doesn’t like to stop and take selfies with fans, are just a few of the asinine things Justin Bieber makes his loyal Beliebers endure. I get that you want to meet as many people as you can, and stopping to take pictures or give autographs is a hassle but come on. Without your fans, you’d still be in your bedroom singing songs on YouTube to a whole lot of nobody. And spitting on them? Wow, they waited hours to get a glimpse of your selfish behind and you try to spit on them? Really?
7. His Haircuts Are Worth More Than Rent
It’s been reported that Justin Bieber spends a whopping $750 on his haircuts, although now I’m su ofall, don’t you think that money can be better suited paying people back for your wrongdoings or maybe giving back to charity. And no, I don’t mean donating your locks to eBay so someone can walk away with the Bieb’s famous bowl cut. I can’t fathom spending that much money on a cut that makes him look even more douchier than before.
6. Drunk Driving and Drag Racing
Justin Bieber was arrested for a DUI, before he was able to drink! With such a high profile (and rich) person comes perks, yes, someone who is not the legal age to drink will probably have a better chance of getting their hands on booze and other illegal substances. Not only is he putting himself in danger but others too, and the fact that he was resisting arrest makes me want to claw his eyes out even more. Don’t be stupid. Ruin your life, not someone else’s.
5. Pants With Too Much Crotch Sag
I had to add this because his style is just vom-worthy. Why does he insist on wearing pants that have the saggiest crotches imaginable. It’s not flattering, it’s not cute, and I think many people will agree, it’s a big reason why he comes off cocky. How about you try to dress like a well-behaved and intelligent young man. I know it might be hard for you J-Biebs, but you can do it. At least just once!
4. Smug Mug Shot
Yes, remember when he got arrested and that awesome mugshot of him in an orange jumpsuit began circulating the web? Well, despite being incarcerated for being a d-bag, he was still sporting that “I have more money than God” and “I’m getting out of jail so ima just smile” look that made us all want to punch him in the effin’ face.
3. Mistaken Identity
The longest running joke is that Justin Bieber looks like a woman, or a lesbian, or you know, the most influential lesbian in the whole world: Ms. Ellen DeGeneres. Now, first of all – this is a disservice to the entire community and I feel bad for Ellen who has to be compared to Bieber on a daily basis. The new thing is that he and Ruby Rose (you know the model and DJ best known for her role on Orange is the New Black) are the same person. Nope. Do not compliment him like that, he’s got nothing on these two leading ladies.
2. Anger Problems
Can you say anger management classes? Not only does this guy fly off the handle way too frequently for my liking but he gets so heated over things that famous people should be accustomed to. Your famous, of course the paparazzi are going to follow you everywhere you go. That doesn’t mean you have the right to assault them or call them degrading names. At the end of the day, everyone is just trying to do their job and maybe you should have thought twice before becoming a public figure.
1. Money Galore
I think all of Justin Bieber’s problems (drinking, drugs, girls, crappy movies that no one wants to watch, drag racing, disorderly conduct, etc.) stems from the fact that he’s young, has too much money and hasn’t been educated enough to know how to handle fame and fortune. Of course when you have truck-loads of money lying around you’re bound to end up in some trouble. Can we please just take his money away and give him an allowance, maybe then he’ll learn the true value of a dollar and not piss it away (quite literally).