Tattoos have been around for thousands of years. In fact, in 1991 two German tourists stumbled upon a frozen body in the Ötzal Alps (between Austria and Italy), much to their surprise. The freezing cold weather had preserved the body so well, anthropologists have been able to gather tons of information from the mummy, including being able to tell it was over 5,000 years old. It was concluded that the remains were from around the year 3,300 BCE.
The body, after much examination, was found to have tattoos which are now one of the oldest pieces of evidence that tattoos existed centuries ago. Although it is believed the technique may have been used to relieve pain. The tattoos found on the body were not easily detected, but they ultimately detected 61 different tattoos, which were documented by a EURAC scientist.
So tattoo-fans, particularly those who live in freezing cold climates, should remember that tattoos last forever, unless eradicated via laser treatments. You may wish to keep that in mind during any future impulses that may arise.
Some of the tattoos we are about to show you are not the kind anyone would like to see hang around forever. For one, they are tattoos of celebrities faces, which is a crap shoot as not all celebrities stay in the spotlight as they age. Secondly, these tattoos are on the “not-so-good” side of tattoo artistry. In fact, some of them are downright scary. It almost makes a case for celebrities reacting poorly to fans who are, perhaps, a little too enthusiastic.
Check out the following 15 celebrity tattoos you may wish you had never seen.
15. Miley Cyrus
His love of her earlier and most popular character on Disney, Hannah Montana, is what started the craze and he hasn’t let up since. He has stated that her songs helped him through a painful divorce.
14. Jack Black
Although this is a pretty typical Jack Black expression, why are so many of these tattoos showing the celebrities with popping eyes and open mouth expressions? They are certainly not flattering. The tattoo artist did a pretty decent job with the skin tonality and texture, but overall it is alarming to look at. It doesn’t make one want to smile or laugh, so we don’t understand the purpose of this expression.
13. Elvis Presley
Elvis Presley was one of the most popular American singers and actors of the 20th century. Dubbed “The King of Rock and Roll”, he had more than just fainting women as fans. The guys loved him too as he showed them how to be tough guys while showing a sexy, dancing side. So we can sort of understand why someone would deface their body in honor of Elvis, but the real question is… what’s up with the Pez dispenser?
12. Comic Book Guy from The Simpson’s
This popular character’s name is really Jeff Albertson and seasoned actor Hank Azaria is the voice. He has been a regular on the series since 1991, on the “Three Men and a Comic Book” episode, which aired in the series’ second season. The self-proclaimed “worst tattoo ever” is truly a sight to behold, particularly because of the area in which it was done.
Tupac Shakur was a popular American rapper, songwriter and actor who had worldwide fame before his violent death in 1996. He is considered a legend of his time, as he was a part of the hip-hop revolution that came forth with startling lyrics that shocked. Unfortunately, Shakur was shot to death in Las Vegas in a drive-by shooting. The rapper was the son of Black Panther activist parents, however, it is doubtful the shooting had anything to do with that. What makes this tattoo so awful is the depiction of Tupac, who was a very attractive young man. We wonder if the wearer or the artist came up with those crazy eyes.
This tattoo is frightening. Why would anyone select Urkel to be permanently and indelibly imprinted on any part of their body. Zombie Urkel takes the whole concept from bad to worse. This is one guy most women would not want to snuggle up to, as there is nothing sexy and everything repulsive about this tattoo.
9. Frank Zappa
Frank Zappa was always known for great music, as he was a composer, songwriter and musician (guitar, bass, keyboards, drums and more). He had all the angles covered, plus he had the added layer of being irreverent – which was a characteristic many fans adored. When looking at this irreverent tattoo, images of Zappa come forth. However, we can’t tell if the artist was showing the musician as slyly giving viewers the middle finger or if he was known for being a nose-picker.
8. Amy Winehouse
Amy Winehouse, may she rest in peace and never see what this fan did in her honor. The caricature is the opposite of flattering and makes Ms. Winehouse’s facial features look hideous. Amy was a talented vocalist who was troubled with addictive tendencies. Her music was often autobiographical, such as, “You Know I’m No Good” and her deep, sultry rhythm and blues voice made lyrics come alive. This tattoo does nothing to enhance anyone’s memory of the songstress.
7. O.J. Simpson
O.J. Simpson was once a hero. It was so long ago, it’s hard to remember as the murder trial of his wife and her lover overshadowed anything good he had previously achieved. Not surprising, Simpson is now in jail after being charged with armed robbery in the Palace Station hotel in Las Vegas. A fairly handsome man, this hairy thigh tattoo doesn’t do the convicted felon justice. We’re not entirely sure what the series of numbers represents, but the whole look is highly unattractive.
6. Celine Dion
Celine Dion is normally considered a Canadian beauty, at every age. However this depiction catches Celine at the unflattering angle with a crooked mouth, 60s hair style and uneven skin tone shading. The person’s hairy skin doesn’t do much to enhance the results. Celine’s darkly-shaded hand looks like a different tattoo artist added it at a later date.
5. Marilyn Monroe
What happened to our blond bombshell? She is now permanently embedded on this person’s body as half zombie/skeleton and half Marilyn. Or is it half reptilian? Not only is it difficult to discern, the question that begs to be answered is what was the wearer thinking when they decided to give Split Marilyn a lifelong place. Thankfully, it is not a hairy Marilyn and the artist did his/her best with the bad concept.
4. Mahatma Gandhi and Groucho Marx Combo
Peace-loving, cigar-smoking Mahatma Gandhi-Marx was the brainchild of either this tattoo artist or the owner. Who knows where some of these ideas come from? Well, we know tattoo parlors are often open all night for a reason, right? There were no available statistics, but we have a sneaking suspicion that many tattoos are selected after a few too many drinks. Seriously? Gandi and Marx may look morph-able by looks, but surely not by character.
3. Hulk Hogan
Oh dear. Hulk Hogan has a very big fan. The professional wrestler and television personality never looked so bad. The distorted face is not as bad as the rippling body that cascades down the man’s backside. We don’t mean to cast stones, but why would a man want to have his backside covered with Hulk Hogan? Does he think it might make him look more trim or muscular?
2. Bald Britney Spears
Here we have a depressing Britney tattoo. The owner of this tattoo obviously wanted to be reminded of Britney’s wild and crazy years. Every flaw, uneven skin tone, crazed eyes, toothy expression, this is Britney when the bottom dropped out of her life. It is difficult to understand whether the tattoo’s owner is a Britney lover or hater.
1. Buddy from Elf
Will Farrell played Buddy the elf in the hit movie Elf, which is what this tattoo is modeled after. In an attempt to replicate Buddy’s excited look – as though he just ate some spaghetti with maple syrup – he looks scary. The movie is filled with yuletide happiness and delivers a story most people love to view again and again. Why someone would want a scary, seasonal tattoo as permanent body art is difficult to guess.
Although this tattoo is not the face of a celeb it still deserves some recognition. Not only did this mystery woman get her favorite rapper’s name tattooed but decided to place the block letters right on her forehead. She shaved her eyebrows and a bit of her hairline to have the artwork done. According to the DailyMail Drake had this to say on the matter: “The guy who tatted it is a ****ing ***hole. You should lose your job and never do tattoos again.” The tattoo artist, Kevin Campbell claims that he did in fact ask the girl several times and that she was adamant about having it placed on her forehead. Should we consider her Drake’s biggest fan?