Men often complain that they don’t understand exactly what women are looking for. They believe we’re complicated creatures that they need to study closely to be able to understand. Some might read books or articles – many of them written by other men or sometimes clueless women – that give dating advice, as well as an assortment of tips and tricks to attract women. And after reading these books and articles, they don’t understand why those tips and tricks aren’t are working, going on to lament that no matter how nice or attractive they are, they just can’t land the girl.
Hollywood has made it seem like any deserving guy – whether it’s just in his mind or not – ends up with a beautiful woman in the end. So, it’s no wonder men feel like there must be something wrong with them if they can’t seem to get so lucky.
But guess what fellas? The truth is, attraction is far more complicated than simply saying the right things or looking the right way.
And if you ever felt like you needed a Ph.D to understand women – well, you may be partially right. Because what causes us to be attracted to a specific man (or type of man) is largely based on science, with a little bit of math thrown in there. But don’t worry, you don’t need to go back to college to learn these things.
Here are ten subconscious and scientific indicators of sexuality women notice in men. Most of these you can’t control, but some of them are well within your control. So read on and at long last, go get the girl of your dreams.
It should come as no surprise that women are attracted to men who don’t smell bad. No, this doesn’t mean run out and buy all the Axe body spray you can get, because it’s not as simple as all that. While yes, women are attracted to men who smell nice – and that means going above and beyond bathing once every few days – there are other factors in play. Like pheromones.
While the role pheromones play in sexual attraction may be up for debate, studies have shown that men who wore aftershave with pheromones added to it were more likely to have sex than those wearing a normal aftershave. Men; women, young and old, can pick up on pheromones, and babies are even said to be able to tell the difference between their mom and other women by her scent alone.
According to sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman, your smell can give clues to your fertility. Without even realizing it, a woman can sense when a man is most ripe for reproduction through his smell. And while you might love someone, without the chemistry – and we mean actual chemistry – to back it up, it can be hard to feel like you’re “in love” with someone.
One other factor in determining chemistry is what’s called the histocompatibility complex (MHC), which are genes related to our immune system. It was found that women are often attracted to men with differing systems than ours because this leads to stronger offspring. But what’s interesting here is that women on hormonal contraception were actually attracted to men with similar MHC, and the reason for that is that the pill tricks their body into thinking they’re already pregnant, and thus, are not looking for a mate, but for relatives that might help with the nonexistent child.
So no, while you can’t go buy body spray that can guarantee to get you laid, there is some hope out there. Perhaps. If you can get your hands on a synthetic male-secreted pheromone. And if you want to see if your girlfriend is really into you, let her sniff your clean skin with no added scents. If the smell turns her on, chances are good, the two of you have great chemistry.
9. Body Shape
You’re probably reading this and going “Duh! Of course women are attracted to men with nice bodies! That isn’t science!” But do you know why women are attracted to certain physiques over others? Well, science, specifically evolutionary biology, likely plays a role in what we perceive as sexy.
While men are drawn to body shapes which signal health and fertility, women are more likely to look for shapes that represent dominance and strength. The reason for this isn’t just sexual, it’s evolutionary. According to the studies, many women like men who are built in a V-shape, which means they have wide shoulders and a broad chest. This means that the man is strong, likely from working hard or hitting the weight bench, and can likely protect them as well as any potential offspring. Because while men are looking for women to make babies with, women are looking for men who provide security for said babies.
Which brings us to our next point…
8. Financial Status
Again, you’re probably rolling your eyes at us, thinking this is another case of stating the obvious. And no, we’re not saying all women are secretly gold diggers only out for what men can buy them. Financial status is one of many ways women gauge whether or not their mate would make a suitable parent. For women of childbearing age who are looking to start a family, finding a man that can support himself, as well as help her during nine months of carrying his child, is obviously ideal.
In the 21st century most women are financially independent and are taking care of their own finances, and are trying to keep that out of the equation when searching for a partner. But even so, finding someone who can at least pay their own way in life is more appealing than someone who still lives in their parent’s basement and eats Easy Mac for dinner. It’s all about the message that you’re sending out about your own stability, and less about what you can buy. However, buying expensive presents is one way you can show a love interest you’re financially stable – that is, if you’re not racking up tons of debt doing so.
You hear men joke about how a dog is a chick magnet, and guess what? Science has proven that it actually is. But it goes beyond just getting a girl’s number. They also found that whenever someone with a dog asked for a favor, they were more like to receive a positive response – simply by bringing their canine companion along with them.
But in one particular study, an attractive male was sent out to ask women for their phone numbers. When the man had a dog with him, he was three times more likely to get the number than when he didn’t have one. Researchers believe that the presence of a canine companion shows that a man is responsible and loyal. That is, unless he’s just borrowing one from a friend in order to attract a woman, and in that case, he might just be clever or a bit creepy.
We’re not talking about emotional damage here, but actual, physical scars. It might be surprising to see scars on the list. Maybe you think women are going to prefer a man with little to no deformities – especially on the face.
But you’d be wrong. It’s not uncommon to find sexy male leads with dramatic facial scars in erotic romance books, and at first thought, one might find that odd. That is, until you look at the science behind it. But it all boils down to the type of scar, of course. Cut yourself shaving and have a scar to show for it? Not likely to catch a girl’s eye. But a dramatic scar, one that appears to have been inflicted in combat or anger, has been rated as attractive to women looking for a short-term relationship.
The reason for this is because women may see it as a symbol of masculinity and consider it a sign that the man has a high level of testosterone. It goes back to those primal instincts; being seen as strong, as a protector, as someone who will fight for your partner and any potential offspring, is inherently sexually appealing. However, one thing to note; this study only found scars to be attractive for short-term relationships, and that’s because women preferred men without such scars for long-term relationships. The reason? They are seen as more caring and altruistic.
5. Voice Pitch
You probably don’t think about the sound of your voice often, but it’s one of the first things people will notice about you. Before they even have a chance to gauge what you have to say, they’re listening to how you say it. And they probably don’t even realize they’re doing it.
How many times have you walked up to an attractive girl, gotten a smile, started talking and found out that you have a lot in common? But for whatever reason, she’s not interested. Sure, it could be any number of reasons, but one thing you may not have thought of – it could be the sound of your voice.
Men prefer women with higher voices, which signals higher estrogen levels. And when females are at the most fertile point of their cycle, their voices are rated as being much more attractive. So how does this play out for men? Well, just as men are interested in women with higher levels of estrogen, women look for men with higher levels of testosterone. And testosterone is known to make the voice deeper, or as some may call it, more manly.
So the deeper and more masculine your voice sounds, the more attractive you appear to the opposite sex. Of course, there are limits to almost everything, and the same is true here. A voice that’s too deep might sound aggressive and be something of a turn off.
Symmetry seems like an odd word to use when discussing sexual attraction, but facial (and even body) symmetry is more important than you might think. When it comes to looking for a mate with a higher genetic diversity and better reproductive health, you’re looking for someone with pretty average features. And by average, we don’t mean average looking; just that your face is symmetric. Or as close to symmetric as possible, since a perfect ratio is physically impossible.
You might be asking what the heck we’re talking about here. Ratios? This isn’t math class! But you’d be surprised how much math plays a role in what we find attractive. The Golden ration is 1.6. That’s the ratio of the length of the face to the width of the face. And from there, the face is divided into three parts, all of which would be equal vertically in an ideal face. When a face is perfectly proportioned, we deem that face to be more attractive. And it should come as little surprise that the most “perfect” face just so happens to belong to Brad Pitt. His face is rated as 9.3 out of 10 according to the ratio.
But it doesn’t stop at just the face either. Symmetry and ratio applies to the rest of the body as well. Ever heard of the hip-waist ratio for women? Scientists have also looked at ear width, ear height, wrist width, foot breadth and more, all proving that symmetry plays a very large role in attraction.
3. Choice of Car
Okay, so you probably assume this goes harks back to finances. You might be thinking that we’re talking about a girl who is only attracted to a man who drives an expensive car. But you’d be wrong.
It’s less about how wealthy you look, and more about the message you’re sending the opposite sex by your choice in vehicles. Today, cars aren’t just a mode of transportation; they’re a fashion accessory, and something we put a lot of thought into purchasing. Many choose cars for certain purposes – a family drives a minivan, or a farmer drives a pickup truck. And what you drive sends a message to women about who you are.
In fact, take a look at these stats to see that it’s not always about the most expensive car money can buy: A survey asked 2,000 men and women to rank the styles of cars that are more likely driven by attractive men. The top contender? A black Ford pickup truck. It beat out sports cars by 4%. So maybe it’s time to stop saving up for that BMW and just get yourself a Ford instead.
2. How They Make You Feel
It’s sometimes said that we don’t fall in love with a person, but rather we fall in love with how they make us feel. And research has backed this theory up. When you feel excited, happy, stimulated or aroused, it’s not uncommon for us to associate these positive feelings with the people around us. Even if the person we’re with isn’t the cause.
This is possibly one of the best tips you can get for attracting someone, since it relies little on what you’re born with. Just take your date somewhere new and exciting, maybe to a theme park and ride a super scary coaster together, or enjoy a hike that overlooks the city.
By giving your date an emotional rush, you are increasing their chances of falling head over heels in love with you. So maybe going for a safe first date of dinner and a movie isn’t always in your favor after all.
1. Their Kiss
Whether you know it or not, your first kiss is more than just a kiss. For many, it’s considered an audition. A taste test, if you will. The initial tests are mostly based on physical cues – the face, the body and body language/personality. From there, we move on to the next step in the courtship process, and this is where kissing comes into play.
Scent and the aforementioned histocompatibility complex are important to attraction, and some scientists believe this comes into play with kissing as well. It allows you to smell and taste the other person, getting a feel for how similar your DNA might be, and furthering attraction if all goes well. Some scientists believe that a number of pheromones are concentrated around the upper lip area, and that’s one theory about why we developed kissing in the first place.