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10 Of The Most Ridiculous How-To Books

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10 Of The Most Ridiculous How-To Books

Ever have a problem, question or hobby that you’d like to get more information on but you just don’t know where to start? Well, how-to guides are a fantastic way to help you out! There are so many out there at the moment, sometimes coming in the guise of “XYZ for Dummies” and sometimes as self-help books, but they’re all trying to do the same thing; educate the masses on anything and everything that you could possibly want to know about! So if you need some help in anything from fashion to finance, just a quick trip to a bookstore or to your favorite online retailer, and you’ll have the answer at your fingertips!

However, there are a few how-to books out there that seem completely unnecessary, and answer questions that have rarely, if ever, been asked! These odd books exist nonetheless, and you’ll be surprised to note that some of these odd titled books actually sound pretty interesting once you’ve looked into them!

10. How to Avoid Huge Ships

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Written in 1982 by Captain John W. Trimmer, this book does exactly what it says on the tin! Trimmer, who was a small boat captain, self-published the first edition of the book from his home in Seattle. The book, whose subtitle is “Or: I Never Met a Ship I Liked”, was written from the perspective of Trimmer’s experience of coming into contact with smaller ships. The smaller boats, often out too far into the ocean, would not realize that their boats were much slower than that of the bigger commercial ships and would frequently be run down. Trimmer, clearly annoyed by this recurring issue, wrote this instructional book to help the less knowledgeable of sailors get out of his way.

9. Knitting with Dog Hair

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With a subtitle like “Better A Sweater From A Dog You Know and Love Than From A Sheep You’ll Never Meet”, it’s hard to not feel a little curious about what this book is all about! The how-to book, written by Kendall Crolius, gives you easy to read instructions on how to use dog hair instead of wool as part of your knitting and also provides you with some unique designs for your doggy creations. Crolius even gives you some tips on how to collect the hair. While maybe not the most conventional path to take, it will sure make a good conversation starter!

8. Bombproof Your Horse

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The title is slightly misleading, but the book, written by Rick Pelican and Lauren Tjaden, is actually a guide on how to make a horse spook-proof and thus provide for a safer experience. The book, which doesn’t promise to actually make your horse bombproof, is actually a highly recommended read for many accomplished riders!

7. How to write a how to write book

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Get it?? How to write… a how to write… book! This confusing title is the work of one Brian Piddock, whose adamant he’s not the Brian Piddock who’s running for mayor. The book, which appears to be a dry-humoured joke, doesn’t seem to be making a whole lot of money and the reviews all seem to be part of the joke.

6. How to be Pope

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This how-to book, while funny in its delivery, is actually all fact! From learning where the Pope eats, does his laundry and who makes the Popemobile, you will learn a lot of interesting facts about the Vatican City and what it means to be the Pope. Although, probably not written with the intention of every future Pope being its audience, this how-to guide still provides readers with a lot of interesting facts about an otherwise secretive city and job!

5. How to Break the Cycle of Birth and Death

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Gary Renard went through a powerful spiritual awakening in 1990 when two of his already-Ascended Master teachers, Arten and Pursah, appeared to him in the flesh and encouraged him to write his first book, the Disappearance of the Universe. In his second work, a how-to guide on becoming immortal, Renard discusses the two spiritual classics, The Gospel of Thomas and A Course in Miracles, and his experience of the Divine. He discusses practices that will help you reach a level of spirituality that will, apparently, end the cycle of birth and death.

4. How to Start Your Own Country

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Erwin Strauss has written a how-to guide to starting your own country. In this book you get five different methods for starting and running your own country. From national defense to raising revenue to recruiting settlers, this book covers it all. With lots of new-country success stories, you’re sure to be inspired to step out on your own!

3. How to Sharpen Pencils

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The cartoonist, David Rees, brings you this witty and informative book “How to Sharpen Pencils: A Practical & Theoretical Treatise on the Artisanal Craft of Pencil Sharpening for Writers, Artists, Contractors, Flange Turners, Anglesmiths, & Civil Servants”. This book can tell everything you need to know to get the best point on your pencil. Or if this is too much work for you, David Rees also provides pencil sharpening services for $35.

2. How to Speak Cat

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If you know a cat-person (i.e. a person who loves cats, not a person who is a cat) then you’ll have already come to realize that cat-people can have very strong bonds to their feline friends! So it comes to no surprise that there’s a book that can help somebody actually learn the feline language. Actually, there are a few of them. Most of them are for kids, but rest assured, there’s one for adults too: How to Speak Cat: The Essential Primer of Cat Language. The author, Alexandra Sellers who claims mastery of seven languages, claims that she’s unlocked the key to understanding cats.

1. How to Become a Schizophrenic

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This book actually discusses the long-held debate of “nature versus nurture”.  The author, John Modrow, discusses how it is not in your biological make-up where the underlying issues of mental health lie but in your environment and the traumatic experiences of your life. The book has been received with a lot of skepticism, and is far from an academic study on mental health. Neither is it actually supposed to work as a how-to guide to becoming a schizophrenic, with the title being used explicitly for the purpose of indicating the book’s theory that the mental health issue is a result of outside environmental influences.

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